Six Practical Healthy Ways To Overcome Anger and Avoid Depression

So, you are angry! At what? With whom? Since when? You have a deep-seated problem that triggers your anger. You are stressed out. You are depressed. You are hurting so badly. You can't let go. You are dangerously heading to an emotional crisis. Don't you know that negative and overwhelming  emotion can make you sick? It can lead you to either a neurotic or a psychotic condition. You may not realize it, but people close to you will.

Don't be a dud! When anger knocks you out, try to recover your balance like a real fighter. Pull yourself up, don't let anger pull you down. Identify the cause of that anger. It may not be worth a cent to feel that way. No matter how careful we are, problems that trigger anger will find us. Nix the problem, overcome your anger, beat depression that is likely to be its ugly end. Do your best to unplug yourself from anger before it burns you out. Think positive. Act positive and - act now!

To Set The Subject In The Right Perspective, What is Anger? (New World Dictionary, Second College Edition).

ANGER is broadly applicable to feelings of resentful or revengeful displeasure. It has several connotations depending on its seriousness, such as : 1. indignation - implies righteous anger aroused by what seems unjust, mean or insulting; 2. rage - suggests a violent outburst of anger in which self-control is lost; 3. fury - implies a frenzied rage that borders on madness; 4. ire - is chiefly a literary word that suggests a great show of anger in acts, words, looks, etc.; 5. wrath - implies deep indignation expressing itself in a desire to punish or get revenge.

There you are! By these definitions, you may categorize your  anger that is recently eating you up. And whatever it is, anger is still regarded as unpleasant, negative, unhealthy.

by A_of_DooM at Flicker.com
by A_of_DooM at Flicker.com

What is Depression?

Depression connotes low spirits, gloominess, dejection, sadness. It's an emotional condition either neurotic or psychotic, characterized by feelings of helplessness, inadequacy, etc.

There again! Depression is an emotional condition caused by prolonged anger. A person may feel unbearable self-pity and refuses to go out and socialize because he is busy nursing his pains and hurts. Or if he does, his presence around is the last thing others would want because he spreads around his abomination.

Anger and depression are enemies of our body due to repercussions like anxieties, sleeplessness, lack of appetite, moodiness, and the like. We can't avoid being angry, but I have suggestions to overcome anger. Less anger we have in our hearts, less depression to live on.

Some Healthy Suggestions to Nix Anger and Depression

1. Shake off and shape up.

Anger invites  depression. Both drain you emotionally and physically to a point where you want to unload your burden. Chances are, a very angry person seems blind at the height of anger. He may vent his anger on the wrong guy. Many relationships had been broken this way. Some supposedly long-enduring kind of friendship, a successful marriage, good family relationship, are just few of relationships that went sour due to unjust and unreasonable verbal and physical abuse by an enraged friend, husband or wife, parent, brother or sister.

If you happen to be this person, do your best to recover from your anger. You may be barking up the wrong tree. It's important to listen to what the other would say. Apologize right away if  somebody other than the one you hurt  explains  to you that you are wrong.  Shake off and shape up. If you are the victim of such an outburst, don't let the domino effect get you by reacting with equally provoking outburst. Don't fan the already raging fire. Keep this in mind, it's not you who have a problem, so it's easier for you to think positive. Soothe his feelings with soft, careful, and mellow advice. But, act only if you feel it right at the moment. Otherwise, just take a flight, after leaving some words of advice.

2. Keep the sinking ship afloat as much as possible.

When the winds of anger threatens a good relationship like a ship about to sink in turbulent seas, keep the vessel afloat. Collect your strength and  push away anything that will rock the boat . Don't get intimidated if you are the object of that anger. Don't be onion-skinned, because until proven, you are innocent to whatever you are suspected about that caused the other to get angry with you. Keep the situation under control with the highest degree of tolerance. This is the birthmark of a God-fearing  individual- loving, understanding, and exercises calm under pressure.

Kind words are tonic to a raging wrath. Your first duty is to salvage the relationship. If by all means, the ship continues to tilt to a dangerous dive, abandon ship. You did what you have to do and  did your best. Don't dwell on guilt afterward. You always have a choice. Stay away from the worrier. He must learn his lesson on his own.

3. Stay away from a person blinded by anger.

A compulsive troublemaker at the height of anger won't listen to  any reason. See if he has anything in his hands. Take note of his actions. It's just right to keep your distance for safety. We can never tell what  an extremely angry person  will do if you make mistake in your words or actions toward him. Many good intentions to pacify a howling beast ended in accidents or even in death. Let him listen to his own noise by keeping your calm. Wait for him to slacken, because anger  has also a life span. If he insists, let go and leave.

4. Find a goal of self-improvement.

Anger doesn't happen overnight. It also has a shell where it stays, waiting to be  dealt with.  Before any untoward incident  happens, I mean before this hidden  anger shows its ugly fangs, the person must identify what causes his anger. Normally, we are angry when we don't get things right to our own  liking, good or bad. We are angry because we are not contented with our job. We are angry when we are unemployed and are helplessly  depending on dole-outs. We boil inside by mere mention of things we want to have but couldn't get.  We don't believe that  it may not be good for us. We even fake  anger to cover up our bad deeds. We believe that we are always right so that any word of reprimand  makes us blow our top. Wrong! Guilty conscience also causes anger. We need to give ourselves a chance to find out why we failed and what consequences we risk  of our bad behavior.  It may be a hard decision to make , but we must.  Learning never ends, it's a life-long process. Let's develop the ability to process the triggers of our anger  and find ways to solve them for self-improvement. In every argument, there are two sides to consider. Every problem has its  solution. 

It's best to seek advice from people we trust. If we can't work out  solution to our own problem, somebody knows how. We only need to understand that no man is an island. Self-improvement doesn't mean you have to do it all alone. We can learn from others as well.  Be open to what others may say, at the same time that we  apply good judgment to what we learn from them. Don't be a lazy rut, waiting for others to bail you out every time you fail. Move. Persevere. Nobody will do it for you.

5. Engage yourself in worthwhile hobby/hobbies.

This interesting topic your teacher taught you as a schoolchild is still the best healthy suggestion to keep you active, busy, and productive. Instead of wallowing in indolence, in your perceived nothingness, inadequacies- that only make you angry- review your childhood hobbies. You may actually have missed them due to exigencies of daily work, of life as a whole.  Don't let negative emotions overpower you doing nothing of worth. Create and be proud of your God-given talents.

Gardening, for example, could be an exhilarating hobby.  Imagine life sprouting under your thumb-  seedlings of all sorts proudly peeping into the world and trusting  you to nurture them in their helplessness. What a feeling to smell your own flowers, taste your own vegetables and savor your own succulent fruits. Your reward will be innumerable. Just try it!

6. Serve God, by serving others.

Christians active in church service, such as the lay ministers, believe that our deep faith in God teaches us to live life free from negatives-  like sins. Anger, extreme anger- makes us sinners, because we cause the tribulation of others by being angry. We likewise make God sad by being angry with our brothers. For did He not say, "Love your neighbors as you love Me"? Our neighbor starts from our closest relation, our family. We don't have the right to love another if we don't love our own brother. Did Jesus not tell His disciples, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me"? You vent your anger on an innocent brother, that you vented on God, The Father Almighty.

 Keep God's commandments. Gain  spiritual wisdom from Godly teachings in order to  broaden your relationship with others and with God. Serve others and you have served God. Love others and you have loved God. Put God in the center of your life and you will think the nth times before you vent your anger unto another. If you are unhappy, join the church choir. Singing is the best form of prayer. Let's sing for our deliverance from anger and depression. Sing praises to the Lord, Our God. Amen, Alleluia!

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Comments 135 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Great tips, Lita.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

msorensson,

Nice to find the first comment here coming from my regular visitor. Thanks!


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

These are good tips. I have this thing that I try to surround myself with like-minded and similar people with commonalities. Like hobbies or interests. And I try my best to avoid negative people, if possible. Great Hub! And thanks for checking my hubs too, and the comments! Cheers!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Cheeky Girl,

This is my first venture on a hub with subtle hints on moralizing. I'm saddened by everyday observation of people who carelessly blow their top and end up war freaks. I likewise wonder how people deal with their hurts endlessly and end up the oppressor instead of the victim of another's anger. Your comment makes me feel I have found an ally. That's it, positives click!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

A well written hub giving great help.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello, hello,

Thank you. That's what we are here for, help each other find solutions to our problems. Anger and depression are universal. We can't run away from them, but we can tame our anger and be spared of upsets. Nice to hear from you again!


carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Great tips !!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

"Stay away from a person blinded by anger" - What could be wiser that this? :-)


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

carolina muscle,

That's very nice of you. You inspire me to tread upon emotional intelligence, particularly anger, which to me is quite delicate to handle. Thank you.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

De Greek,

It's wisest, Sir! We can never tell what an angry beast will do. Human nature dictates life-preservation in moments of madness like blind anger. Thanks for the rejoinder.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Lita, what great destruction a small flame can cause. Anger is only useful if it moves us to a healthier place. If our words or actions increase our self-respect then we are on the right path. I find the hardest thing to do is to focus on the problem not the person. Thank you for a thoughtful article. -:)


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Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Winsome,

I believe that we are on the same boat- being hurt more by the person than the problem he brings to us so that our focus becomes blurred. This is of course wrong. When we find ourselves embroiled in a bad situation, it's really difficult to muster all that self-respect sufficient enough to tell ourselves to stay calm and fix the problem not the person. This is tantamount to creating more trouble and yes, fanning the small flame to unproportional fire. Yes, anger, a negative, can become positive if handled the right way. Thank you.


hubpageswriter 6 years ago

Lita. This hub is rightly to the core. I see a lot of anger issues everywhere, and sometimes people mask their anger and appear to be all smiling and pleasant, when in actual fact, they are filled with rage and very angry. It's good to control anger, in fact crucial and super important. A definite good hub here.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

hubpageswriter,

It's a hub with pointers definitely of my personal views. I'm quite clear here that anger is ugly, and probably, is ugliest when one tries to conceal his anger underneath or hide behind masks like you said. How reasonable are we in controlling it makes another problem, though. Your thoughts and suggestions will add enlightenment to this hub. Thank you.


ceciliabeltran profile image

ceciliabeltran 6 years ago from New York

All sound advice. It really is about mindfully choosing to focus on the productive and the positive. I also would add though that anger is fear. If you want to pacify someone's anger...first appease her fear.


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

Anger is a form of energy that must be channel into constructive activities to become useful. left alone to seethe it becomes explosive and can have disastrous effects both outwardly towards other people and inwardly toward ourselves. Your advice are both practical and effective. Thank you for sharing.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

ceciliabeltran,

"Anger is fear". Like fear from falling out from one's good grace because you are guilty of something you did to him without his knowing it. There are numerous situations why one is angry because of fear. If you can identify the cause of that fear, it would probably be easier to calm the angry person down. Good tips, Cecilia! Thanks.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

SilentReed,

Yes, that's right. Anger is a negative form of energy that we can turn into a positive one. It will take a lot of effort though, but on one hand, it's feasible with people close to the angry fellow, who are level-headed and willing to undertake the risk. Pacifying an angry person requires another person with high level of tolerance and respect and who does not antagonize the angry fellow further. Thanks for the added tips.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Thank you Ma'am! I'll serve God by serving others! God bless!


BenjaminB 6 years ago

Great and valuable advice Lita. I have in the past had extreme anger problems. I mean the I wanted to break things and people and often did my best to do so kind of anger. Hobbies! Seems that has been the key to me settling down.trying to stay productive and never having time for that hateful seed to grow in my mind and add to that changing the friends I had dropping many that spent all of their time being negative about anything and everything.

Matter of fact I just informed my best friend today that he could go his separate way if he was unable to be anything besides negative about my writing which he constantly trashes as "Fluff" work on Face Book all the time and goes as far as commenting on all my posts trashing the products I am trying to promote.

That is it seems to me the kind of friend I no longer need. Trying to drag me down to his angry hateful level. I've let people do it to me before but no longer.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Mickey Dee,

...and then leave it there- don't count how many times you served others, God knows. You don't expect of any rewards here on earth, God will judge you by your good works in heaven.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Benjamin,

I'm not judgmental but I'm glad that you had made the move to redirect your anger toward becoming productive, through hobbies and not minding the hateful seed of anger destroy you. This is just a temporary solution. Once you had really settled down, you'll discover that by seeking for self-improvement, you will be more understanding of others' human errors. You'll be more forgiving of their faults. Stand out and influence others to do the same. Your friends must just be waiting for this to happen. Peace, my friend!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =)

Very useful hub! Not every one is capable enough to control their anger and let it work positively for them. Voted up! =) Thanks for sharing!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

That's true because it's fear that deters one to unplug right off. Time element will play its crucial role here. If he tries, he must muster enough strength first, and slowly, he will eventually cool off. And then shaping up to positives is near. Thanks.


vinividivici profile image

vinividivici 6 years ago

Meditation, Meditation and only Meditation helps me menage anger. A useful Hub, Lita. Thanks.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Now, this is a great tip addition on the spiritual level. I can't say more! Thank you, Vini.


vinividivici profile image

vinividivici 6 years ago

For me meditation is both physical and spiritual practice. It brings my body down to earth. It heightens my soul up to heaven. Thank You LIta.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines Author

Aww, Vini, you can do meditation in yoga, for instance, almost forgot the physical side of it. Lifting up your soul at the same time that you challenge every fiber of your body, to function normally, too. Great comment! Thanks, again.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Lita C. Malicdem, Nice hub! Great advice on ways to manage anger! Prayer and meditating on the Word is helpful and beneficial! Self control is part of the Fruit of His Spirit!

Thank You for sharing, In HIS Love, Peace & Blessings!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

DeBorrah K. Organs,

Anger is a manifestation of one's loss of self-control. Times like these when we no longer have the strength to take hold of our human facilities, God's intervention is just the best measure. That's right! Things beyond our grasp are God's to handle- we only have to invoke His help in prayer and meditation and His fruit of the Spirit can be recovered in time. Thank you.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 5 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it.

Well said Lita. I am going to start setting a personal goal of achievement. I really need a hobby apart from sitting in front of my computer all day. Thanks for the tip


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

xixi12,

Having influenced one in you to set up his personal goal of achievement other than staying up long and late in front of the computer, this hub has done more than I intend it for- good reading and yes, sharing to influence once thoughts, and actions. That's self-improvement in progress. I like it. Thanks!


triosol profile image

triosol 5 years ago

WOW. Great hub. Very informative. very useful tips. Voted Up.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

triosol,

Thank you for throwing in the towel for my support! I see that you have very useful and informative hubs, too. I'll be back for more read.


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 5 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Fantastic here here Madam if I will make a hub about being angry i will link this for sure!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

GeneralHowitzer,

Fantastic idea! Appreciate that very much. I can't say more. Thank you and more blessings to you in return.


2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Very good hug. Anger and depression go hand and hand and also has its roots in unforgiveness. It should not be ignored, it will destroy your relationships and your life!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

2besure,

Yes, that's right. I must have included this possession in a person a "forgiving" heart to solve the problem of anger and depression. A forgiving person is less affected by negative waves like anger. Thank you.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

A trigger of depression is anger. This easily happen to us in daily life. Why this happen to us, because there's no satisfaction and grateful in life. I don't want to get involve with this. Thanks Lita for share your tips for us. I am glad to follow your tips. Good work. Vote up.

Prasetio


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 5 years ago from Northern California

This is a great Hub because you define the issues and feelings involved so it's easier to carry this understanding over to your advice. Very nicely done. I think the key is seeing the beauty in letting go.


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 5 years ago

Lita, just wanted to say that I like the way you linked anger and depression. I certainly know anger, but mine is transient. For the people with deep-seated anger, when they don't know where to put it, depression is usually going to follow. And I've tried to understand clinical depression, and how to work with it, but it is very challenging for me. I like your approach, and what you have to say because it's pro-active. In the past I would tend to enable mostly because I'd feel so bad for the person going through it that I made unhealthy excuses for them. I felt like they should be held to a different standard because of their pain, and I've come to realize that just really isn't a healthy way to look at it. Great hub!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

prasetio30,

I don't either, if what you mean is not to be involved in anger and depression. Your approach is very healthy, too- be satisfied and grateful in life to avoid both. Thank you for sharing your opinion.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

glassvisage,

It's my unorthodox approach based on a practical doctrine. Yes, you just said it. Define the issue so that your point can be clearly understood, then the action that follows depends on how convincing your ideas are. It's easier to let go thereafter. I like that reaction from you. Thanks.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

ahostagesituation,

Thank you for the strongly-worded appreciation of my work. Love it! Like what I told glassvisage, my approach is practical, unorthodox, as I have no background clinical experience regarding anger and depression. I just speak from my heart and yet, I see that I've nailed my point to the extent that you confess in all honesty about your limitations in handling people with depression. I like that, too.

I realize, too, at this point, that my humble hub is gaining in strength through the wonderful supportive comments and rejoinders I'm receiving from you and the rest. Thank you all!


travel_man1971 profile image

travel_man1971 5 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

Inhale deeply and exhale long. It will ease one's anger perhaps. One thing my father left me was the tip for lessening anger: Count from one to 7, then continue counting until your temper subsides; which really helps. Think about good things and follow God's teaching: Love your enemies. Thanks for this hub, Ma'am Lita.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

travel_man,

That's right! Inhaling-exhaling helps. You observe a very angry man and see how his chest heaves in and out.

And if counting numbers or the proverbial counting sheep doesn't work, pray, pray for strength and deliverance from the devil called anger. In God, all things are possible. Thanks, too.


Rose Kolowinski profile image

Rose Kolowinski 5 years ago

Anger can eat at you until you no longer recognize or like the person you have become. Great tips for controlling or ridding yourself of the anger and focusing on the positive aspects of your life.


bingskee profile image

bingskee 5 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

great tips, lita.

one can be angry but must not sin. i often use this biblical passage as guide. there are many people who can drive one nuts. but i had learned to inhale-exhale or count up to ten, or think of the consequences if i give in to anger.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Rose Kolowinski,

Very nicely put. It had happened to me many times and I ended up having more problem with my self rather than the person who caused my anger. He might not even know I was hurting while he who hurt me was having a great time. That woke me up from my stupidity. Nice comment.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

bingskee,

"You can be angry and not sin". Always comes to me after I let out my anger. Even if I use this biblical passage, I always think of Jesus in the synagogue, releasing His anger because the people did wrong. A good guide when one is caught off-balance and become angry, is to always consider this question, "Am I in the right, is he in the wrong?" Nice piece for my thoughts, Thank you.


Shirley Pisa 5 years ago

There are situations when anger is caused by hurtful words and deed of people around us. Especially if these people are close to us. And most often than not, serious damage inflicted in our souls takes years to start healing. I think the first step is accepting that the person is hurt and that this would triggers anger. Acknowledging the emotion is the start to the road of gradual healing.

Thanks for sharing.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Shirley Pisa,

When people we love make us angry by their words and actions, our hurt is immeasurable. Usually, they don't make the first move to acknowledge what they did to us and be sorry for this. Then we hurt the more and it takes time to forget, if ever.

We can only less expect from them to fix the damage, so what we would do is to gather enough wisdom to forgive them and forget our hurts.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

Great Hub - I really like the last point. Anger is so bad for the health. The painful bit is that people say things that can't be taken back. They will apologise later but the words would have already taken root in the person it was spoken to.... Regards.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Lady_E,

That's absolutely right! I really don't believe in the phrase, "just slip of the tongue", if ever one tries to justify or apologize for his hurting words. Once words are out, they can't be recalled, most particularly the damage that has been already done to the person spoken to.

Thanks for your added thoughts in support of this hub about anger.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

A very helpful and informative hub. All should read it and benefit from these excellent tips. Lita, you are a good writer - keep 'em coming, please. Blessings.


mohamedfigo 5 years ago

I connected with your Hub because I angry person...and I found it very useful to me

Thanks Lita


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

vocalcoach,

You are a very good writer, too. I'm glad we have established our give-and-take online relationship here at HubPages. Let's keep it this way. Thank you and more power to you.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

mohamedfigo,

Actually, I write this because it works for me, too. I thought that if I could write about my own experience of anger and depression, I would have won over them and may gain a level of tolerance if anything of the sort comes to me again. Who among us doesn't suffer from anger and depression?

Really, I know this hub will buoy you up in times of lost self-control, like it does to me. God Bless!


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

A wonderful hub Lita, and many good points, so glad we found each other.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

carrie,

The feeling is mutual, I'm glad I found you. I'll keep in touch. May God bless and keep you always. Good luck, my Friend!


Highvoltagewriter profile image

Highvoltagewriter 5 years ago from Savannah GA.

"Killer" hub, actually it is life savor for I see my self as a "rageaholic" and I have working on ways to not be controlled by my anger and your hub will be very usefull. I have bookmarked it and have rated it "up!" Thanks again!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Highvoltagewriter,

Very electrifying comment, high voltage as usual! "Rageaholic", I'll add that to my terminology, to remind myself of someone driven by my hub to turn into a "loveaholic". That's great! Good luck and thank you!


sockyee profile image

sockyee 5 years ago from Singapore, Malaysia

Those are indeed useful tips. I often find myself unable to control my anger and that led to depression but after reading your hub here, it will certainly serve as a useful guide for me to control myself and live a better life. Cheers.


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 5 years ago from hub

This was a great hub! Can't believe I didn't run across it sooner:) Rages of anger hurt so many people! With God's help like you said, any anger can be defused:)


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

sockyee,

But aren't we humans the same along our seeming weakness when angered? I like your very honest revelation of this sad truth which this hub wants to address. This will ease mine too, when I'm threatened by this uninvited guest in our lives- anger. Thank you.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

heart4theword,

I had been tremendously hurt by people I love myself. This negative experience turned into a blessing, though, because I am able to put in print an actual situation into a positive, with advice to anyone who suffer from anger and depression. This is God's blessings not only for me but to all as well. Thank you.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 5 years ago from East Coast, United States

A wonderfully written hub on a very important topic. I think that when we fall into anger, we need to identify what is making us angry and deal with it in a constructive way instead of in a destructive way. Staying angry or nursing anger is not help to anyone at all.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..if you are too humble to consider yourself an angel - then you are a great teacher of infinite wisdom and faith in humanity - that would make you a worthy humanitarian - and it's a hub like this which could inspire generations of hubbers/readers/followers - because in my daily philosophy I try to learn something new everyday - whether it be a word, a lesson in life or some helpful advice - and it pays to have an open mind and a positive attitude - all great attributes that I sense from you and your writing ......


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Dolores,

Any angry person will lost the significant moment- to think positive. Some easily recover, but few couldn't for long, until depression catches them. That's why I risk this flood of opinion that my readers may support me to do the healthiest move when provoked- to stay sober under pressure- and think in a constructive way. I know I miss a volume of points here and I'm so glad, you and the rest of my readers have amazing ideas to strengthen my viewpoint. Thank you for all your constructive comments in my hubs. God Bless!


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

epigramman,

Ohh, you make me cry- sounds like this is the best tribute I can bring home to my Father, the Good Lord! I wish I would then be the angel who will look down on you and together, we will make a difference and save humanity with our great attributes- my skimpy wisdom and faith and your infinitely awesome philosophy in life grounded on open mind and positive outlook! Don't you realize that you are a great mentor here at HP? I enjoy reading the comments you receive in your hubs. God pours down His blessings on you because you deserve it. Carry on, my Friend!


Coolmon2009 profile image

Coolmon2009 5 years ago from Texas, USA

Nice suggestions for dealing with anger and depression, good article.


gg.zaino profile image

gg.zaino 5 years ago from L'America

Hello Lita, it's been a while. :]

You have covered a 'Great' subject with many useful anecdotes and insightful commentary.

Yes, the warning signs!!! my life was imprisoned in anger at one time, and it was nothing short of self destruction...

Thank you for taking this time to collect these thoughts, and give us a hub truly worth reading from beginning to end...

sharing this valuable information may reach the right reader and bring about awareness.

Information... this, and "open mindedness" are what begin the "Healing"

Peace Leta ~ greg Z


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Coolmoon,

Am so glad to know that our connections continue to be so. I love your comment as always. Take care. Cheers!


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

gg.zaino,

Indeed it's been a while my friend! That's why I want to make up with you. Cheers!

We are not humans if we didn't experience anger at any one time in our lives. And my own experiences along this subject inspire me to share to others my dark encounters and how I cope with anger. I hope this will lead those who are harboring anger in their hearts to do the right way- staying sober, with positive approach and be able to curb their negatives into positives.

We don't even have to seek healing, if at the outset, we face head on what's causing that anger from within ourselves or what makes by others inflict anger toward us. This way, we will save ourselves from being sad. It can be done- if we only persevere. Peace!


gjcody profile image

gjcody 5 years ago

Great ...great article. You are right on ...I can think of someone that needs to read this article. Thank you again for sharing and doing the homework. My best to you!


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

gjcody,

Moderating your comments is really exciting! I just finished the first one and here you are again.

This undocumented helping-each-other mission here at the hub community makes this platform my favorite. Yes, please do, I have my friends who need this too, and seem not to heed. Their loss is my gain. You are there to prove this. Haha! Thank you.


twentyfive profile image

twentyfive 5 years ago

These are very good tips. Thanks for sharing. :)


Team A profile image

Team A 5 years ago

Someone told me that being angry is punishing yourself from other people's mistake. I was listening on a radio station a while ago and the dj mentioned something about what happens when you are always thinking about that person that always irritates you. What stuck in me was when she mentioned that, if you letyour hate for that person entertains you on a daily basis, you are letting that person reside inside your mind for free where you are suppose to be reserving some space to focus on something that is more productive rather than just feeding you heart with anger.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

twentyfive,

Thank you for your inspiring comment. Hoping that you will have a handy reference on tips about anger when the need arises.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Team A,

You're absolutely right! That someone who provoked you into anger may not even know you are suffering, so why allow yourself a hostage of your own hate and anger? Let go and live in a more productive way with positive thoughts without any reservations for ill feelings. Thank you for sharing this information.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Team A,

You're absolutely right! That someone who provoked you into anger may not even know you are suffering, so why allow yourself a hostage of your own hate and anger? Let go and live in a more productive way with positive thoughts without any reservations for ill feelings. Thank you for sharing this information.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 5 years ago from US

Hi Lita, Awesome again, Number 6 is the best, Maita


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

prettydarkhorse,

Our existence here on earth depends greatly on how we show our love to The Almighty Father by loving and serving the least of our brothers. This way, there's no reason for us to become angry. Your choice is right!


Maria Cecilia profile image

Maria Cecilia 5 years ago from Philippines

maam Lita how can I get in touch with you?aside from HP, may I know your email add? if you don't want to put it in here can you kindly click me in the contact Maria Cecilia? need to consult you on something....

Anger is not a good feeling, it can somehow lead you to distract others and I don't want to indulge myself to that kind of anger. When I feel like I am going to get mad at somebody my only resort is our God. I always pray for strength and enlightenment, not only for those who are against me but for myself too..


jon lorenzo profile image

jon lorenzo 5 years ago from qatar

We must overcome anger, depression, self pity and other negative feelings and attitudes because it really gives us a negative effect in our lives. Being close to God and having a communication with Him through prayers helps a lot to overcome these. Plus the comfort of our family and friends and ofcourse you have to help your self to do this, work on it... God bless us...


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Maria Cecilia,

For as long as you don't regard God as just a spare tire you can resort to when sinking, holding on to Him is just the best thing to do. Make that a daily habit and you'll find peace in your heart whenever anger strikes. I do!

As to my e-mail address, I'll refer this to my daughter who has the say as she doesn't want me to be stressed out hubbing. My health these cold season isn't too good but not that bad, too, because I take extra care. I'll pray for you as always. That's a typical feeling of one as young as you are and still establishing identity in workplace. My gut-feel tells me that there can be no other reason for your want to contact me. Please understand? I'll be back in Manila after my check up here in Pangasinan. That means I'll have difficulty

writing again because there's no internet in my 2 daughters' new apartment. Take care, my dear!


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

A very enlightening hub and well written Lita.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

jon lorenzo,

I like your down-to-earth tips- closeness to God,comfort from family and friends, and most importantly- we have to work on all of these, ourselves! Doing than wishing will spare us from further trouble. Good comment. Thank you!


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Carrie,Dear,

I always give myself time to pray for you. May you feel the warm embrace of the Father Almighty in every moment of the day. Thanks for dropping by and for this nice comment.


Nordy profile image

Nordy 5 years ago from Canada

Such simple, straightforward advice on a complex and broad topic. You style is so honest and down to earth. I really liked this hub and I inspired to read more of your work. Keep up the good work!


khmohsin profile image

khmohsin 5 years ago from London,UK

Fantastic Mam if whenever I a hub on anger I will link this for sure!


mikeq107 5 years ago

Hi lita :0)

Great hub well thought out and so very true...Love the way you tied anger and depression and ultimatly all into to sin as in the short of it..we ingnore god and his love we suffer the consequences in our body and become a burden to all around us....Nice break down

Great to meet you!!!

God bless your writing Sister

Mike :0)


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Nordy,

There's nothing that can ever beat honest and down-to-earth suggestions, is there? Because you agree with me, I know we are on the same boat. Let's keep things that way and be more productive of inspirational hubs. Thank you.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

khmohsin,

I'm flattered as well as honoured! When you finally had written one, just inform me. It will be my pleasure to see it linked with this hub. Great idea! Thank you.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

mikeq107,

I was amazed at my work, myself, haha! When I sat down to venture on anger and depression, I was at the threshhold, an old hurt was stirred by someone I was running away from to avoid a tangle. Well, today, I don't have to run away, I've become bolder because of all the support I've received here! Thank you and God bless you all the way, too.


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

I love the saying that depression is anger turned inwards- so true. I like that you addressed depression and anger. Great hub and very comprehensive. I recently wrote a hub about anger and I like yours better- haha. You did such a great job. I was just thinking about the part where you mentioned staying away from someone in the heat of anger and rage- they need their distance. I know it sounds weird but I was watching a kid show with my daughter about when someone is angry and it stated to "use your words". It got me thinking about when a person is really angry, it's usually because they can't articulate their feelings.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

izetti,

This is a meaty comment in support to my ideas about the subjects- anger and depression. I love it. Yes, we can adopt the "use your words" principle but it takes a lot of courage to stay calm under pressure. People who can articulate their feelings with coolness despite the hot situation are only few. I'm not sure I can do that! But we can always change for the better, thank you.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

Very good advice, I don't know how I have missed you but will be checking back now I have found you.

Polly


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Pollyannalana,

The feeling is mutual, I missed you, too. I'm clicking on you right now. Thanks for the comment here. Light and Love!


daffodil2010 profile image

daffodil2010 5 years ago

wow! your topic is really good. thanks for sharing. i like your writings.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

daffodil,

I'm glad you do. May my humble writings benefit you in anyway. Thank you.


V Kumar profile image

V Kumar 5 years ago

Very very useful Hub. Thanks a lot for sharing it.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

V Kumar,

Am grateful for the appreciation. I trust that it will help you when anger finds you.


mdlawyer profile image

mdlawyer 5 years ago

Excellent attitudinal tips. Very useful for good mental health. VOTED UP! RATED USEFUL!!


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

mdlawyer,

We all need to handle our emotions when we go downhill. It's unhealthy to live in negatives. Yes, we all want to be healthy not only physically but mentally, too. Thank you for the ratings.


poorconservative1 profile image

poorconservative1 5 years ago

Good advice on both depression and anger.

Thanks

Chuck


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

poorconservative1,

I can only handle a subject I, myself, had experienced. Depression and anger affect us, so we must not dwell on both if we can avoid it. Thanks.


mrpopo profile image

mrpopo 5 years ago from Canada

Wonderful advice Lita. Depression is nothing to mess with - it can change your entire perspective on things simply because you're looking at the world through a, well, depressed lens. It's a hole that's tough to get out of.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

It's quicksand, I say in rejoinder- the more you stir your anger and depression, the more you sink deeper. Thanks for your support.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

mrpopo,

It's quicksand, I say in rejoinder- the more you stir your anger and depression, the more you sink deeper. Thanks for your support. Keep up your motivation journey, my friend!


Corin profile image

Corin 5 years ago

Some very helpful tips. I specially like tips # 3 "Stay away from a person blinded by anger". That's probably why I always go out alone for a walk when I'm angry...


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Corin,

Well, that's the best move to do, staying away from people when you're angry, so that you won't hurt them and/or be hurt likewise because you'll be out of control of your feelings then. Thank you for that rejoinder.


celeBritys4africA profile image

celeBritys4africA 5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

One vote up for a very useful hub. I bookmark it.


danfresnourban profile image

danfresnourban 5 years ago from Fresno, CA

Very informative hub. I have had some success dealing with anger when I attempt to put things in perspective. For example, when an employee of mine angered me I waited to speak to him. I reminded myself that I was going to make things difficult for him later. Then when I was calmed down I would tell him that it was not right for him to defy me or disobey my direction. Then I assign him a miserable task. It wasn't revenge it was 'redirecting.' It kept me from yelling at him and treating him without dignity.

Thanks again for the good hub.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

celeBritys4Africa,

My router wasn't working for almost one week now so I wasn't around for awhile. I'm back! Thank you for the bookmark. Hope you'll have it real handy when the need arises.


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

A good manager/employer has lots of options to take when confronted with employee resistance. Your "act later" principle works in your favor due to its calming effect on you. Good work, attorney!


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Anger is only one of 64 emotions humans experience, yet it seems to be the one we are taught to ignore or avoid altogether. As has been said here many times, anger is only "bad" if expressed in ways that are unhealthy to yourself or others.

I am ever amazed at how many people won't even acknowledge that they're angry, but will instead bury it until one day it can't be contained any longer, and is then a new source of anger at one's self for "losing control".

I've never liked the phrase "control your anger". Anger should not be "controlled" as if it were emotional "junk" to be hidden in the same way some keep broken toys or piles of last year's newspapers in a corner of the attic or garage so that no one will know they're there. The person who hangs on to those toys and newspapers *knows* they're there, whether they choose to acknowledge the fact or not. They are taking up space that could be put to better use (or not used at all).

Anger, like junk in the garage, cannot and *should not* be "controlled". It should be eliminated as soon as possible. Anger is YOURS and yours alone to *dispose of* by several methods that don't involve contact with the person believed to have caused it.

One is simply going out into the country where no one but the cows or sheep will hear you and screaming at the top of your lungs until every bit of anger is gone. If that isn't an option, repeatedly whacking the top of an empty bed with a baseball bat or tennis racket with all the force you can muster works quite well.

A third is to put ALL your anger into a letter to the offending person (especially if it's yourself)...and then ceremoniously burn it while saying "I release this anger to the heavens".

Great hub! ;D


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Jamagenee,

I love your methods of disposing off your anger, "not controlling it" 1. going out in the open for a great screaming, 2. whacking your bed with a tennis racket(I won't take the risk with a baseball bat,LOL!)3. and especially love- sending it to the heavens in smoke! Wow! Great support I got from you here. Thank you.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Actually, I learned the first two at an anger management workshop my shrink suggested to release the anger of being an abused child. The third I came across in a book I found in a New Age bookshop. ;D


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

I'm in the raw, not having experienced workshops. I talk about anger from my own experience. But of course I now have time to read lots of support on how to handle anger. Thanks for your wonderful ideas!


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

You're MOST welcome! The workshop was a one-time, two hour thing at a local mental health clinic. Your area probably has something similar, maybe through the county health department. Just call around till you find one. ;D


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Thanks for this suggestion, JamaGenee. However, I'm new in this big city and I'm not one to shop around alone for these health clinics because of my health condition. I'd rather read here in the internet personal experiences of hubbers of which there are plenty. Thank you so much for your support.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Yes, there are many places on the internet where you can read and benefit from the personal experience of others on dealing with anger. ;D


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

JamaGenee,

There's a lot more of give-and-take here that I enjoy. It's the sincerity to connect and share our personal experiences to virtual strangers who need help that I value most. God Bless!


Dyan Sendaydiego 5 years ago

Anger just triggers our mind to do something bad or to hurt others. Tip number 6 is what I love the most. :)


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Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines Author

Dyan Sendaydiego,

I feel so blessed with your comment, dearest one. Among my former pupils, probably thousands of them, you are one of only few I hear from. I'm glad you're here! May God continue to keep you on the right path. Anger-free and danger-free as well! Thank you!


travel_man1971 profile image

travel_man1971 4 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

Anger truly destroys our cool disposition in life. I've been through a lot of challenges controlling my tendency to become irritated. Lots of factors affected my thinking, especially when I'm at work.

I was triggered by your tip regarding "keeping ship afloat from sinking". It's as if I was thrown into the galley of the commercial ship used to work for a decade in my life since 2001.

Well, thanks, Ma'am Lita for all the advices you've shared here. I'll try to be calm all the time and never forget your advice #6 in order to keep myself in a positive light.

Thank you so much. :D


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Lita C. Malicdem 4 years ago from Philippines Author

travel-man,

When our life is focused on the Almighty Father, the rest is under control, like anger. HubPages is the best medium to apply tip #6 and I'm trying my best to do that. When we share our wisdom online, no matter how little, we are serving others and serving God. You have great ideas yourself for others to live by. Thank you for your wonderful reaction and comment! Carry on the good sharing!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dear Lita, I love this hub! Love it. Very good advice for a timely subject. Voted up, useful, awesome, beautiful and interesting. Not funny, because there is nothing funny about an anger issue. I appreciate your talent, Lita And since there was no 'contact Lita' button on your profile, I wanted to tell you this here: A SINCERE THANK YOU for following me. I am very new to the hubs thing, and I ask that you be patient with me as I learn the in’s and out’s of hubbing. I VALUE my followers and I shall NOT take YOUR Warm Gesture for granted. I also will write hubs that will be educational, entertaining, a bit dramatic and many times funny. But NOT negative, abusive, or demeaning. If any any time my hubs offend or upset you, simply tell me then and I will remedy the situation pronto. Again, THANK YOU! Sincerely, Kenneth, (my real name. I didn’t know that we could use catchy titles.)


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Lita C. Malicdem 4 years ago from Philippines Author

I see that you are a good man and have lots to share in this commumity. HubPages has its rules and I know you'll keep them to the letter. I don't write often but I moderate all comments in my hubs out of gratitude to all my readers. I love reading other hubs that are educational, especially about health issues.

Thank you for the votes! haha! You'll learn the trade of good hub writing as you go along here. Don't worry about writing hubs that are fun to read. Everything will be fine to a fine man! Cheers!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Lita, w3onderful tips. The kind we all should follow.


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Lita C. Malicdem 4 years ago from Philippines Author

KoffeeKlatch Gals,

These tips are not mine to keep but share. I'm glad you find them useful to you, too. Thank you.


DAWNEMARS profile image

DAWNEMARS 4 years ago from The Edge of a Forest in Europe

Great coping strategy here. Voted up, interesting and useful. It can be hard to distinguish the person fron their anger.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 4 years ago from Philippines Author

Thanks for the buttons! Anger must not take reign of our composure. I'm glad that you find my simple coping strategies useful. God bless!


letstalkabouteduc profile image

letstalkabouteduc 12 months ago from Bend, OR

This is sound common sense advice that's no longer so common. Based on my experience with depression and social anxiety, I feel like doctors are over-prescribing medicine and under prescribing those things you mentioned such as exercise, hobbies, religion, and helping others. While I did need a prescription in the beginning, I now know that I was taking it FAR too long (7 years) when I should have been concentrating on the things you discuss. The medicine just dulled my feelings and made me emotionally flat. When I weaned myself off of it, I was back at square 1 and needed to learn the skills I never developed. Great hub!

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