Whatever Happened To The Wedding Night

Has The Magic Of The Wedding Night Disappeared?

Note: All that is written below are the personal views of the author. There is no intent to insult or judge anyone.

For those who are not familiar with the Biblical story of the golden calf, it is a molten image fashioned by the Israelites (see Exodus Chapter 32).

Those who worshipped this idol, made from melted gold, gave the calf credit for delivering them out of Egypt. All suffered a terrible consequence. Three thousand people were killed, and God sent a plague on the people because of what they did.

Today we have a new golden calf.

It is the golden calf of immorality: fornication, pre-marital relations, adultery, hooking up, one night stands, prostitution and relationships, to name a few.

Someone very close to me cannot understand why her boy friend wants to go out with the guys and drink after work instead of spending an evening with her. After dating for six months he became nasty, and he said to her, "We are NOT married, I can do as I please!"

There you have it.

The man has what he wants, any time. It is okay for the woman to give her heart, body and soul to a man. After all, they are in a relationship (oh, how I despise that word!).

I do not eliminate women from this scenario. I know many who are online looking for a hook-up but do not want a commitment. They go to bars looking for a one-night stand. Men do the same thing. It's everywhere, on numerous television shows, especially comedies, and in the movies.

The word, 'fornication' is in the Bible. Fornication is having a relationship outside of marriage. The Bible clearly suggests to 'flee fornication' (I Corinthians 6:18).

Why? Not because God is judgmental, but because of the damage it can do. It has to do with consequences.

Ten seconds of the feeling of relief of a sensual need has broken many hearts, destroyed countless lives, resulted in unexpected pregnancies, abortions, and transmitted diseases. Today's youth are growing up thinking it is fine to fulfill their sensual desires and disregard the purpose behind it. For them, pre-marital relations has become a fun sport.

Also, children are no longer taught to be modest. They are wearing skimpy two-piece bathing suits at a very young age and clothes that have sewn writing on the back of their pants to bring eyes to a private part of them. And we wonder why there are predators?

The Bible talks about becoming one flesh. This is a wonderful gift which has been ordained by God - to physically proclaim your love for one another on your wedding night.

Hebrews 13:4 reads, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

In this day and age the wedding night hardly exists, where a bride arises on the morning of her wedding day, anticipating being in the arms of her new husband and consummating their union after reciting their vows.

All this being said, I know there are exceptions. I have seen where men and women do survive a relationship, get married and continue to adore and love one another.

My only desire is to share how I feel about the immorality that has literally taken over the world.

I can sum it up in one word: SAD. Sad for those who are giving away their heart, body and soul for free when the results come with a price. Putting the cart before the horse - having a relationship right away, sometimes within hours after meeting a stranger for the first time...then...maybe then...falling in love? In my opinion, this is a risk.

Finally, when growing up, my grandmother, who raised me, warned me of the consequences of giving myself away before marriage. Every time I was tempted (and I was) her words came to mind. They were my red flag, and they gave me the strength to wait until my glorious wedding day.

It was a choice I will never regret.

One more thing; On our wedding night, my new husband said to me, "I am so glad you made me wait." We will be married forty years in May.

Blessings to all, Sparklea :)






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Comments 88 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Sparklea, the bad news is: this is pious and judgmental, the good news is; It is right on the money correct. My wife of ten years is also such a fine lady. I would not change a thing (except maybe her temper ;-)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

First things first ...what a beautiful and pure bride you were ...gorgeous and even more so due to the fact you made a choice to remain pure! We are having a terrible lightning storm right at this minute and our power fluxed. So had to shutdown. I hope my comment comes through my phone but if not, I will return to your wonderful hub here. I was so thrilled I saw an email pop in that you had published a hub. I made the same choice too long ago ...35 years ago and do not regret it for one minute. I agree with your word "sad" as it is just that as relates to those who do not understand why waiting is so important for the health of one's marriage ...long after the wedding night too. These are just my opinions too but God does address these very issues in his word. When we do dress in such a manner as you have described, since men are attracted by sight and women more so by touch, we can tempt men and add to the problem of temptation leading to all sorts of scenarios that are not good. Thank you for being the woman you are and not afraid to share your views on this topic! Voted up++++ tweeting, pinning and sharing. If my Internet is down, I will return. God bless you sweet friend. I know how blessed your husband is to have you for his cherished bride. Hugs, Faith Reaper.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Oh ...congrats on the 40 years and you are still as beautiful as you were then!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

My Internet is back up and I have vote up and across (except funny) and shared.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Eric, thank you so much for taking time to read this, and I so appreciate your honesty. And congratulations for 10 years of marriage and speaking highly of your wife...and adding a little humor. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dear Faith, I received ALL your comments, sorry about the severe storm and glad all is well.

I have been wanting to write this hub for a long time, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your sincere words... I know there are very, very few who would agree, but I truly believe that if it is in the Bible, it is true... that being said I do not believe God is judging, He has this in the Bible to protect His creation. All of this, of course, is my opinion, and I felt the need to share it...I recall the hub you wrote about purity with a picture of you as a bride. An excellent write.

Faith, THANK YOU for understanding, that means the world to me. God bless, Sparklea


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hello, Sparklea,

I loved this piece of fantastic writing. And the topic, presentation and graphics were superb. I gave you a Vote up and on every choice because you deserved it. I wish you my very best on HubPages and in any other writing pursuits you may have.

I am going to leave you some fan mail and follow you.

I would love for you to read one or two of my hubs and then become one of my followers.

A hubber cannot have too many friends.

Sincerely,

Kenneth/ from northwest Alabama


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

You were a beauty younger and still today. I greatly respect your views on life. You speak from experience and with passion, and that will always have my respect.

blessings always my friend

bill


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dear Kenneth: Thank you from my heart for your lovely words. So much appreciated. I also thank you for following me, and I did what you suggested. I have read a couple of your hubs and I am now following you also. Whatever I write, I write from my heart...and, from my heart, I am so full of gratitude you took the time to read my hub. God bless you! Sparklea


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

billybuc; As busy as you are, you never fail to stop by! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my thoughts and for your encouraging comments. You are so kind.

I am so excited about your book! I just can't wait until everything comes together for you! I am one of your biggest fans!

I am working on my book every day, and I hope to write a future hub about the frustrations involved.

I have learned so very, very much from all you have shared about writing.

Right now my book is in pieces...and I need to put these pieces together. I totally know what you are going through.

I hope you and Bev had a great weekend.

God bless always and I continue to pray for you all daily. Sparklea :)


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Congratulations on 40 years and I hope you have many more. I agree with everything you said in this article. I can never make the claim to pure if and when Mr Right finally comes along, but I learned my lesson from the few mistakes I made. The next guy who wants to get serious with me is just going to have to wait.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

sheilamyers: THANK YOU SO MUCH for understanding what I shared here. Sometimes I feel alone, on an island, when addressing this controversial topic...However, if it even inspires one individual, I feel as if it was worth it all. I so appreciate your taking time to read this and I value your comments. God bless, Sparklea :)


Kenneth Avery 2 years ago

Sparklea,

You are so very nice. And genuine. This day in which we live, a genuine person is a rare commodity.

I am so blessed to find you on HubPages and be be blessed to follow you and be blessed to have you as a follower.

If you ever want to give me some tips, constructive criticism, on how to produce better tips, please feel free because I have very thick skin.

Sincerely,

Your Friend, Kenneth


North Wind profile image

North Wind 2 years ago from The World (for now)

This is a controversial topic for sure and many seem to think that there are many ways that are right for some and wrong for others. I suppose that from a worldly view that could be correct but form a Godly view there is only one way and that way is supposed to help to keep you from unnecessary pain that is a result of sin. Sometimes we get blessed in spite of our sins but just because that happens does not make the sin right. It is simply because God is a merciful God and a compassionate God.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Greatly expressed hub you look so lovely in that photo and still is. Your true words says it all and I so agree with you. Well done to you!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

North Wind: Thank you so much for your comments, and for taking time to read this hub. I personally do not know where I would be in this life without God's grace, mercy and forgiveness. You are correct that sometimes we get blessed in spite of our sins...because of our wonderful Creator who gave us His Son to cover it all. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

DDE: Thank you so much for your taking time to read this hub and for your comments. You are very sincere, and all the hubs you share are written from your heart. I so appreciate your stopping by. I so admire you for the issues you address on Hub Pages. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Kenneth: I love your sincerity, and thank you from my heart.

It is a pleasure to follow you. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Availiasvision profile image

Availiasvision 2 years ago from California

I really enjoyed reading this Hub and was encouraged by it. I'm only in my twenties, but I am shocked at how quickly everyone's concept of morality is changing. Within my lifetime, certain words and actions went from being taboo/R-rated to being flamboyantly permissible.

I feel a complete disconnect between the way I live and the way my generation does. What is frightening, is that my generation is the one having kids and raising them. Oh, how I fear for the kids growing up with drug addicted parents, domestic violence, abuse, and loose regulations. The next generation will never set a higher bar than their parents.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Availiasvision: I LOVE your user name! Thank you for taking time to read this. I pray it does not appear as if I am telling people what to do or not to do. My purpose is to make people aware of the consequences of their decisions. I also fear for this new generation who are having children. I wrote this from my heart, and I hope God uses it to inspire the readers. Blessings, Sparklea :) PS: I just visited your page, and I printed out "Leave Here Empty" to read while I am spending the day at Barnes & Noble...I am slowly writing a book, and I love to read and journal. I will comment on it later.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

This is a very well written hub and a subject that isn't given a lot of respect these days. It is "sad" and I'm sure God put it in your heart to write this. You were a lovely bride and are a lovely person now. Congratulations on the approaching 40th Anniversary too. Well done, voted up.


Kenneth Avery 2 years ago

I agree with Jodah 100% about his comment above. My congratulations to you and God bless you with many more anniversaries. Excellent hub.

Kenneth


Kenneth Avery 2 years ago

I agree with Jodah about your hub, Sparklea. Well-written and my congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. May God bless you with many more.

Your friend,

Kenneth


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Jodah; thank you so much for your sincere comments. Yes, it has been on my heart for weeks to write this hub, so I just went with it. I am sincere regarding my sadness about the morality in our country today. I DO believe immorality has become a 'god.' It is everywhere, every day, and the commercialism just encourages young people to embrace premarital relations without any hesitation. Stores like Express and Victoria's Secret are cashing in on the golden calf of America. NO intention to offend, it is just my own personal thoughts. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Michael-Milec profile image

Michael-Milec 2 years ago

Good evening Sparklea, sister.

What a perfect testimony of a Most High God's child - a life giving soul saving lesson for all eternity. Your bold proclamation touched my heart and has refreshed memories of "our '" youth as my wife along myself were living in obedience to heavenly Father's pleasing Him predominantly. You are right it is a personal decision to live in a moral manner, and you had a strong support in your grandmother. In our case we both had godly parents not as much as religious as living righteously in words and deeds. A simple way following the uncompromising word of God. A way anyone can afford thinking with own un-washed-brain, refusing influence of the Hollywood and focusing on creativity of noble deeds, spiritual values and love of Jesus… Growing together in this love all joy and happiness become twofold while sadness or loss is cut in half. . .

Congratulations on your fortieth anniversary, a significant number. The Israelites have spent fourthly years in the desert, Our Lord was fourthy days in fasting preparation for full time mission. May your future days and years continue to be blessed in loving grace and favor of the heavenly Father . Come back please with more of your heart talk of the truth , needed in this searching generation.

Voted across, but funny.

Peace be with us

michaEL


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Michael-Milec: What a lovely and sincere note from your heart. Words like yours are needed with our current generation. I so appreciate your encouragement God bless and thank you so much! PS I friended you on Facebook :) Sparklea


Michael-Milec profile image

Michael-Milec 2 years ago

Thank you so much, means more then just " Thank you," when accompanied with tears of appreciation ; happens really since my tears are " object d'art "- a rare gem.

Blessings always.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Very lovely Sparklea, sweetheart people claim they are Christians and fornication is something they indulge in and glory in they disregard that God forbids it. How can you be born again and trample over the word of God its hypocrisy you must know you are not born again if you living rotten

Do they think God meant if but or maybe? What he says he MEANS 100% and yes people train their kids to dress vulgar from a young age they actually put them out for the sickos and that's why it has so much incest, rapes, aids, herpes etc in the world today. If you notice most sickness now are sex related God has cursed this wicked and perverse generation for trampling on his word, making it a mockery.

I dress decant i also do not wear pants and you know people watch me and my friends like we are from another world, but they are right because this world is not our home. Its like its now wrong to do the right thing, and right to do the wrong.

GOD BLESS U SUGAR.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Nice wedding pic by the way :) and may God continue to bless your marriage and may you two grow old together if its the Lord's will or until death do you all part and if its really LOVE it won't part even if either of you dies before each other.

You will meet again in glory but there won't be weddings there lol


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

LadyFiddler, your wonderful words are so full of encouragement and I thank you for taking time to read my thoughts. No intent to offend, I am just so sad...and probably a little mad, at how the world is totally engulfed in immorality. THANK you for your input, so much appreciated! And thank you for the nice words about the pic.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Hi Good morning Sparklea i find in you a beautiful spirit and i heard your a sweety from Faithreaper lol. I am happy to meet people that do not condone wrong just for friendship sake etc. God's word is LAW and let every other thing be a curse.

Well dear this world has surpass Sodom and Gomorrah it has reached the heights of immorality how far again can they take it. God alone knows because my brain is to limitless to limit these wicked and perverse people that is condoning sins and creating simpler ways to do evil. Sodom did not have the technology and devices we have in this age so its WORST.

Long ago you had to go to a pub, bar or hotel etc to do prostitution now we've got Skype, web came etc so they call it cyber sex its FREE to . Satan has entered the homes and trying to swallow the very elect. May God keep us under His wings and have mercy on us we are the salt of the earth and seems like the minority that wants to GO RIGHT and please Christ.

Peace be unto you


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

LadyFiddler: Good morning to you also, and I pray you are having a lovely day. :) Everything you state above is true. If it is in the Bible, it is true. Done deal. It means a lot to me for any positive comments I receive...not looking for agreements nor disagreements...just stating what is in my heart regarding this very important issue.

God bless, and I appreciate your taking the time to share your sincere thoughts with me. Sparklea :)


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

Very inspiring words. The Internet, if used wrongly, is society's new golden calf. Wonderful hub!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Mel Carriere: Thank you from my heart for your kind words and encouragement. I so appreciate feedback from others, and, mostly for the time they spent to read this hub. God bless, Sparklea


Homeplace Series profile image

Homeplace Series 2 years ago from Hollister, MO

Thank you for sharing! My wife and I will celebrate 55 years of married life, and counting... we have three sets of aunts and uncle who have made it to 75, another to 65, and they are going to add more. Thanks, again! ;-)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Homeplace Series: THANK YOU for your comments and your support with this hub. Congratulations for being married 55 years! My husband and I hit our 40th this past May. I so appreciate your taking time to read my material. Blessings, Sparklea :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hi, Sparklea,

I was flying over and thought I would swoop down and say hi. And with all sincerity, this is one of the best hubs on HP.

I am so glad to have met you and have you as my friend and follower

Peace.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Hi Kenneth, my computer is really acting up...getting a lot of phishing stuff in my emails, plus I lost ALL notifications in my inbox...so I am trying to retrieve missed hub comments. THANK YOU for your very kind comments on this hub. I am very humbled you writing it is one of the best hubs on HP. I, too, am so glad to have met you and have you as my friend and follower. God bless, sorry for this delinquent response.

Sparklea


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Hi, Sparklea,

I am sorry that this has happened to you. But it seems that your sweet spirit is not affected. You are most-welcome for the comments I gave you for they are the truth. You are a wonderful writer with lots of talent. I relish the idea of having you as my friend . . .and follower if you have made that decision.

Honest. Having you as a follower would thrill me.

I too have been busy with life issues, HP, and other projects, but Sparklea, you have been my sunshine on this foggy night.

Kenneth


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

HI Ken, according to my records I started following you on April 29. I HOPE I am on your list of followers, I do not trust this computer. When you have time, please check. I went to your profile page and hit follow, and I hope I did not un follow you by mistake. I am definitely a follower. Thank you for your kindness...Your writing is so 'off the charts' unique...LOVE your titles! So glad to know you on Hub Pages. Blessings, Sparklea :)


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 2 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

like Faith said...what a beautiful bride you are... yes sadly .. our society has denigrated into chaos by the young people... who have lost their moral character... very good write.. bless you..

Michael


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Cleaner3 thank you so very, very much. I know I am in the minority with my views about relations outside of marriage, but when I see the irreparable damage it has done and is doing to our young people...I cannot even put it into words. It is a most wonderful thing when considered an expression of love and the sacred act that it is. I appreciate your stopping by. God bless. Sparklea


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Sparklea,

Hi. I just wanted you to know that I am still around and still admire this hub as well as your writing talent.

I hope you are doing good and life is being good to you.

Keep up the fine work and I pray that God blesses you more than you can take into a storage facility.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Thanks Ken, Just want to make sure I AM on your list of FOLLOWERS.

LOVE your unique writing. Blessings, Sparklea


truthfornow profile image

truthfornow 2 years ago from New Orleans, LA

4o years is an accomplishment. Congratulations. Brave of you to come out and share your views. You are just trying to protect everyone's heart. Your bridal photo is adorable, so beautiful inside and out.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

truthfornow; I so appreciate your visiting this hub...I feel like a loner over my feelings about the sacredness of marriage, but I believe it is God's conviction within me that gives me a knowing I did the right thing by waiting until marriage. But these are MY views only. Everyone on this planet has a right to make their own choices regarding the art of living. Thanks again for stopping by. Blessings, Sparklea


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dear Sparklea,

Yes, you are a Cherished-follower of mine. I thank God for you. And I love your writing also.

Keep up your fine work.

Kenneth


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago

You have shared a wonderful part of you with us all. Forty years is almost my whole life. I just turned 50. I just reached 13 years and being married was the single best choice in my life.I wouldn't want to be dating today.You make many good points for young and old people alike to think about and decide. Thank you for your honesty and passion for writing. Don't forget to congratulate your husband too because you both are a beautiful and wonderful team. One is only as good as the other. In good times and bad you have seen it all. I want to be the first to congratulate you on the next 40 years. Comment...


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York Author

Dream On: THANK YOU from my heart for your wonderful words and comments. I have no regrets. I am so behind with the hub pages, as I am working on a book and, as a female, I have a lot of errands and house hold tasks to do during the day. My husband is 10 years younger than I, so he is still employed...so I do a lot to help him out so he does not have to do stuff when he gets home. I hope to get back to the hubs soon, I have some topics I want to write about...also I've written a few essays for a community publication in between. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Treasure every second, every breath of life. Yes, I plan on living a LONG time...and congrats to you on 13 years of marriage. I hope I can get on the hubs eventually as often as you...GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS, Sparklea :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

Sorry I missed this and I agree completely. Such a shame about kids today too because so very many have never been taught to honor themselves or anyone else and sex is started so very young. Guess we should be so very thankful for those mothers who taught us modesty and honor and respect for ourselves. Up and sharing.


Say Yes To Life profile image

Say Yes To Life 24 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

This is the way I was raised, and I agree with this article to a point. I believe couples should know each other well before having sex. On the other hand, I see no reason not to "test drive the car before buying". I've known instances where the sex was virtually non-existent after marriage. In some cases, a partner is homosexual, and married to hide that fact. And then there's the case of singer Loretta Lynn, who was virtually raped on her wedding night. She's far from the only one.

Even my favorite Christian high school teacher warned us that honeymoon sex is not that great. So while I frown on hookups and one night stands, I'm all for knowing what you're getting into before foreswearing yourselves for life.

P.S. I'm 54 years old.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 24 months ago

I agree and differ in that people have just thrown the manual away of true wisdom ! People all over the world have been witnesses as to everything under the sun as to what works and what does not .God many times do not intervene life's situation do to a challenge that his way does not work ,even though it is supplied a choice .And what are the results so far? As you have listed a variety of problems.

When thing are done in a proper way, and with moral respect ,there is truly a difference

The problem is many humans out of habit do things their own way with trial and error.

And some errors can not be erased. You live with your choice as error.

Also you say sample the goods . Well first some things should not be open ,would you buy anything in a store somebody open and sampled. And left for you to buy.

Read the outer package , do your research ,date before unwrapping . The point is sex is not everything . Sex first is in the mind. But if that is all you have and want then that maybe is all you will get. When life's health problems and aging come along these things can change even their function.

So that is not a real anchor to base a relationship on.

The real person of the heart will last longer then a sex action.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Jackie: THANK YOU for taking time to read this and for your comments. A person close to me - her daughter started having sex at age 14. She told her mother, "I am having sex whether you like it or not so you better take me to the doctor and put me on the pill." This is today's generation. I shudder at how their children will grow up not learning about how wonderful sex is - especially if you wait until your wedding night. The immorality today is heart wrenching. God bless and thank you again for your feedback.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Say Yes To Life: I so appreciate your taking time to read this and for your feedback. I totally understand your point of view, for I have been there. My first husband - our wedding night was a disaster, and our sex life was terrible...long story. (and, as stated, I DID wait until my wedding night to consummate our marriage). We divorced eight years later, he left me for his secretary. My second marriage, I waited until our wedding night and it was wonderful. We are married 40 years this year.

So, I did take a risk...and that is what it is when you, as you say, you test the car before driving it. My best friend did that with her second marriage...she wanted to test the waters first. And she has a good marriage as a result.

I do not judge anyone doing that at all. It is just not for me.

That being said, I have read many letters in the paper to "Ask Amy" and "Annie's Mailbox" where people have lived together for a long time, had a great sex life, then all went cold AFTER they got married. I have no explanation for that.

In our world, people can make their own decisions regarding this issue and what is right for them. On this hub I shared my own personal experience. I applaud you for sharing your views, and I sincerely thank you. Blessings, Sparklea :)


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 24 months ago from West Virginia

Interesting article about things that were in the OT. Things are much different in this time period as we now know more about diseases and medical things and even cures they did not even know about way back then. When we take upon ourselves some self responsibility and actually look at ourselves in the mirror and find out what we are doing with our thoughts then things will be much better for everyone.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Kiss and Tales: Thank you so much for visiting this hub and for your comments. You are SO correct in stating that some errors cannot be erased and you live with your choice as error. Yes, sex IS first in the mind. Very true. You made some outstanding points about the consequences - especially that sex is not a real anchor to base a relationship on. I so appreciate your feedback. Your point of view is phenomenal. Blessings always, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Lady Guinevere: Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for your comments. I so agree that things are much different in this time period. I LOVE your last statement...especially about taking upon ourselves some self responsibility and looking at ourselves in the mirror.

We all need to examine our thought life. Thoughts are very powerful and can even attract good or bad. Thanks again, and I love your honesty and postings on Facebook. God bless, Sparklea :)


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 24 months ago

Thank you Sparklea for your choice of subject. And you are kind in your replies. Thank you.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Kiss and Tales: My pleasure, you are most welcome.


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 24 months ago from West Virginia

Sparklea, your comment back to me did not show up on my notifications. I knw you did and so I had to go find your hub again. I think the internet is broken today because lots of the sites that I visit seems like a ghost town, including FB, TSU, here and a couple of others.


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Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Lady Guinevere: I am having an awful time too! I have tried four times to edit my Hub Page Profile and after I get it all done, I click on review your profile and when I do that, NOTHING has been changed. I did quite an edit also! VERY frustrating. I did notice hub pages has a 'new look' per their notification on email but I see no changes. I am NOT high tech, so I don't know if I am doing something wrong. PLEASE let me know if you received this. SO SORRY...yes FB seems to have done a disappearing act. Have not had time to really visit but I did first thing this morning and like you said: ghost town


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 24 months ago from West Virginia

I did get this one! I want to post some really informative hubs on starting a small business but with all these problems I fear no one will be able to read them. It is crazy all over the internet.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 24 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Yes it is crazy! I think with all the sales everywhere the internet is probably jammed up...just a thought! I think we should both wait and try again at a later date. :)


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 24 months ago from West Virginia

I agree. I may start the hub and put all the information in it and then no publish it for a while anyway.


Stargrrl 23 months ago

I enjoyed this hub. And I agree with you. It is more romantic when you wait...


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 23 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Thank you so much Stargrrl, and thank you for taking time to read this. Blessings, Sparklea :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 23 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dear Sparklea,

I wanted to take time to wish for you . . .a Very Happy New Year for You and Yours.

Take care and continue to turn out fine hubs like this one.


buddhaanalysis 23 months ago

What a beautiful girl,you are looking in this picture.

I too feel the same about this issue. There isn't any charm left in marriage institution now a days.


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 23 months ago from Pueblo, Colorado

very spiritual write... our world and especially our country has lost it's moral character.... society has mixed progressive idea's with liberalism in our morals.. no role models to emulate how a good life should be lived.. you were a stunning bride... again great write..

Michael


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

cleaner3 Thrilled to hear from you and thank you for stopping by with your comments. Of course I believe in the Bible which reads, "flee fornication" - no good can come out of it. I do not regret I waited until my wedding night to consummate my marriages - both of them.

God bless you and I hope all is well with you, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Kenneth, Happy New Year to you also! I have been ill since New Year's eve, and really OFF the radar with a fever, terrible cough, resulting in 2 trips to a walk in clinic and a trip to the Emergency Room. Then my husband caught it and he had walking pneumonia and an over the charts cough. I get very behind on the hubs because I am trying to write a book, plus LIFE gets in the way if you know what I mean. You are SO motivated, funny and inspirational. I finally did publish a hub, per Billy buc's suggestion, but it was a 'fastie.; (does this word exist?:) God bless, DO stay in touch and I will do the same, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

buddanalysis thank you for your very nice compliment and your comment. The only way to keep the charm in the marriage institution these days is to obstain from pre marital relations until the wedding night. It is that simple. No one ever died from not having sex. It is SO worth the wait. God bless, Sparklea :)


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 22 months ago from North Carolina

Talking about shivers...This piece touched me in that way. What a beautiful bride and to be married 40 years in this day and time is so rare and just another indication of the sweet soul that is you. Your observations are right on. So many have forgotten that marriage is sacred. And, I think that is why when one fails, there is so much grief that goes along with it. When someone passes away, there is grief, but there is also an opportunity to find some peace. When someone divorces and even especially if there are children involved, it is as if there can never be peace for the what ifs take over leaving one with wounds so difficult to heal. You, my lady are not only beautiful, you are so incredibly wise. Like your other works, a must share.

Love,

Kim


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Hi Kim, I am SO trying to go through the unbearable clutter on my bookcases and moving back and forth to the computer to get a breather...plus my four cats are teasing for lunch! THANK YOU for taking time to read this...I was hesitant to write this, but I thought to myself, with all the terrible words spoken in rap music, and they clamor for freedom of speech, I TOO have a right to share my guts and my heart.

Anyway, I truly appreciate your taking time to read this and for your lovely feedback. Don't know about being wise with all the mistakes I HAVE made, but thank you for the compliment. You hit the nail on the head by stating that so many have forgotten that marriage is sacred. Sex is a GOOD thing ordained by God for our pleasure but it is also a sacred expression of the love of a husband and wife for each other. THAT is my conclusion on this matter. People do not have to agree but if it is in the Bible, it is true and the Bible warns to flee fornication. ONLY MY OPINION. Thanks again for your comments, so much appreciated....Blessings, Sparklea :)


skye2day profile image

skye2day 22 months ago from Rocky Mountains

sparklea Precious child of God. This is such an informative biblical truth writing. I pray that the eyes that read take heed to the truth. God tells us He will bless those that wait until the marriage bed. May God so bless you my dear sister. I love you and pray that you and yours abound this year in Gods favor in all of your comings and goings. Keep going sparklea. You are a gem to behold. Love, Skye

shared voted!


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

OH HELLO SKYE2DAY: THANK YOU so much for stopping by...I am amazed at the encouragement I have received regarding this hub! I am so behind on Hub Pages, but I DO want you to know that I have had you and your husband on my prayer list for the past couple of years...And I will continue to pray for you both. I STAND on God's word and when I witness all around me the ramifications of this current morality, I KNOW it was written to 'flee fornication' for US...NOT because God was being judgmental. He wants man and wife to enjoy the sacredness of sex as an expression of love. I shudder at the misuse going on all over the world. A few seconds of a pleasant feeling can totally ruin one's life. Parents need also to teach their children modesty. MY THOUGHTS ONLY. Again, thank you from my heart for your feedback. God bless you real good, Sparklea :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 22 months ago from The Beautiful South

I forgot to tell you how beautiful you looked; sorry about that. Guess when the word sex comes up that is all we have on our minds! lol ^+


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 22 months ago

What a lovely bride you were. Congratulations, Sparklea. I wish I could say the same. My first husband used our innocence as an excuse for jealousy and mistrust. He actually tried to make me destroy all photos I had of high school friends who were male. I hid them and lied that I had thrown them away. I have been married 30 years now to my 2nd husband who had also been married previously. Our loss of innocence seems to have made us more committed and trusting individuals and I think this marriage "took".


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Oh, Jackie, you are so funny! THANK you for your comment on my photo. What memories! And, again, thank you for your previous comments which I SO appreciate! Blessings, Sparklea :)


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

MizBejabbers: Thank you for taking time to read this, I so appreciate it!

I guess you and I share the same scenario: we both have been married twice and I have been married to second husband 40 years, so looks like we both hit a home run! I have no pictures of my second marriage because we eloped! And I was so excited about his asking me to marry him I never thought about a camera! I still have the dress - pink with blue flowers! God bless and thanks again for stopping by. Sparklea :)


James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 22 months ago from Morocco

I am glad to hear that there are still people who are still pure and refusing to get involved in physical relationships before marriage.Bravo.God bless you.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

James-wolve: Wow, I have felt that I am truly in the minority with my personal views...I can't express how much I appreciate hearing from you and for your support. Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for your feedback. SO encouraging. God bless, thanks from my heart. Sparklea :)


melissae1963 profile image

melissae1963 22 months ago from Tennessee, United States

@sparklea This is a fabulously beautiful hub. Thank you for sharing your intimate feelings with us, your readers. It's not just fornication and vulgarity that is attacking our youth; it is a lack of respect for anything that even looks like morality. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone using a cell phone when I'm trying to have a conversation with him or her. That is total disrespect and, for me, a reflection of all that is going wrong with our culure. I'm specifically targeting Americans. Thanks for a well-written post.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 22 months ago from Upstate New York Author

melissae1963: Oh, thank you so much for your taking time to read this and for your sincere comments! I know that many will NOT agree with me, including my own family members, but I totally believe and will not retract from anything I wrote in this hub. Also, you hit the nail on the head about cell phone interruptions when with another person. The other day I stopped at a pizza place at the mall. While eating my slice, across from me sat a mother and her teen son. The mom sat there forlorn, while he played and texted on his cell, totally ignoring her. I can't even stand to witness that stuff. Rudeness is second on my list, immorality being number ONE. I shudder at the newborns coming now and what their scruples will be when they become teens.

That being said there are good people in this world, but I truly believe immorality has become the golden calf, probably money being second.

Thanks again for stopping by, Blessings, Sparklea :)


Gaurav Oberoi profile image

Gaurav Oberoi 21 months ago from Chandigarh

That's a great article. Superb...!!! Thanks for sharing your views.


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 21 months ago from Upstate New York Author

Gaurav Oberoi: Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for your lovely comment. I sincerely appreciate it from my heart. Blessings always Sparklea :)


ladyguitarpicker profile image

ladyguitarpicker 14 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

Hi Sparklea, I like your view and feel the same way. I was talking to some young neighbor girls, and they laughed until they cried and said they do not believe any one could really wait till marriage. Great article , Stella


Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 14 months ago from Upstate New York Author

ladyguitarpicker: Thank you so much for visiting this page and for your encouraging comments! Yes, there ARE those who DO wait until marriage, but I believe they are in the minority. It is a shame, because the grand finale to one's wedding day would be wonderful if the couple waited until the wedding night to consummate the marriage. I never regretted doing that, ever. If you like to read, I suggest you order the book, "Heroes" off Amazon. Wait until you read what men themselves REALLY think about premarital sex. God bless, Sparklea PS: THANK YOU for following me, it is my honor to do the same.

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