Five Stages of Grief After a Break Up

image credit: photobucket.com
image credit: photobucket.com

These are 5 stages of grief which we typically undergo after a break up:

1.  Denial

Yes, he/she already break up with you.  You hear it right but you don't seem to listen.  You are blind not to see that he/she is no longer with you, will no longer be with you and no longer wants to be with you.  You don't seem to grasp that it's over.  You thought that it's just his/her temporary insanity or a momentary confusion.  You still hold on to the belief that the problem in the relationship can still be fixed and you'll be back together again.

2.  Realization

The idea of break up finally "sinked in".  You finally came to realize that it's over, really really over.  He/she seriously broke up with you and that he/she already leave you.

3.  Depression

You curl yourself to bed, you don't want to eat (you can't feel hunger but pain), you can't sleep (you're too busy thinking all the possible reasons why he/she left you), you stare on a blank wall, you don't want to go to work and you don't have the energy to do anything at all.  All you do is either sob or cry.  Part of you seems died and you seem to lose the will to live and survive. This is the hardest part.

4.  Anger

You substitute pain with anger.  You become so angry that you could curse him/her to death (oh you actually did).  This time you feel nothing but hatred.  You suddenly recall all his/her faults and shortcomings.  You got so mad on the fact that you gave all your best, you put so much in the relationship, showed him/her all the love and goodness in this world but he/she just throw it all to waste.

Note:  You can experience depression and anger interchangeably depending on the stupid things you do that makes you go back to zero (starting point) recovery.

5.  Acceptance

After processing all the emotions, both pain and anger, you will come to a point when you'll learn to accept the truth, that sometimes you can't always have what you wanted, that things may not work the way you want to and that some people were not meant to be with us.  And at last, you now detach yourself from the past and start to move on.

However, acceptance doesn't equate to forgiveness.  You may have accepted what happened but you might not be ready to forgive as of  yet.  One thing's for sure, you can forgive but you won't forget.

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Comments 5 comments

swati01 profile image

swati01 6 years ago from India

nice one....:)


ILuvUKenton 5 years ago from The corner of Forever and Heartbreak

Great work. Just went through this. Probably still going through this. This really helped me. thanks a bunches.

-TheHeartbrokenNinja


cbguillermo profile image

cbguillermo 5 years ago from Bataan, Philippines Author

Thank you for your comment swati01 & TheHeartbrokenNinja =)

For THN, I'm glad that I'm able to help you somehow,just know that you'll get through that just like I did. A blessing in disguise though, It'll help us to be stronger & wiser after the pain.

I hope to see your name next time not as a heartbroken ninja anymore =)


mvilla2426 4 years ago

This is my first hubs read and comment!!!! This helped me so much!! Thanks!!!


cbguillermo profile image

cbguillermo 4 years ago from Bataan, Philippines Author

Thank you mvilla2426 for reading my hub, am glad it had helped you =)

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