Before you start flirting, before you drop your handkerchief, before you smile at a potential partner, these are the rules you must commit to memory:
- You have to choose to flirt. It doesn't just happen. You have to do it.
- There is no right time or place. All times and places are the right one.
- When you flirt, you must not have a serious intent. It is just a light and pleasant interaction.
Fears you should not worry about
There are 3 fears that will come to your mind which have no bearing in reality:
- "It will make me look desperate or slutty." We are all desperate. We are all slutty. That's OK, because it makes us human. The man you are flirting with will not care. He will feel reassured that you can be approached and, more importantly, that he can win.
- "They won't find me attractive." If you are female, men find you attractive. If you flirt with them, men find you very attractive. It's biological. Every woman can find a man somewhere who will find her attractive. If you flirt with him, he has a chance to show he thinks you are attractive.
- "I'll say something stupid or dumb." Yep. We all do. Put it out of your mind and just go on. Men find it cute and oddly feminine when a girl says something dumb of flustered.
Three more fears you can simply ignor are:
- "I'll get rejected." Ever smile at someone and they didn't smile back? That's all the rejection you will encounter by flirting. Who knows why he didn't respond? Maybe his cat just died. Maybe he just lost a fortune on the market. Maybe he's just an ass.
- "What if he's not my type?" Most men aren't your type. So what? You are not trying to find Mr. Perfect. You are only trying to find Mr. Nice Evening.
- "I'm not ready for another relationship." Flirting is not about getting married. It's just about having a pleasant interlude. The interlude can be a minute, an hour, or a lifetime. It doesn't have to be a long term relationship, but it can lead to one.
How to get started
Did you ever notice that girls who go out with the girls spend all evening with the girls? Men are afraid to approach a group of women.
Consider this scenario:
- You're out with your best girlfriends and a cute guy comes up to talk for a moment.
- He walks away and you whisper, "OMG, he's cute."
- Your girlfriends all say, "Yes!' and you giggle.
- As he walks away, all he hears is the giggle, so he thinks you are laughing at him and he'll never be back.
You need to avoid this situation at all costs.
So, go out alone. And smile. Smile at everyone, but especially smile at men. No one will notice that you aren't confident and secure. They'll just think, "She is having a good time tonight."
So smile at everyone!
And when a man reciprocates, let hime. If he buys you a drink, you don't have to drink it. Just say, "Thank you." and let him.
You've got to give men the permission to flirt back.
You flirt. Then he flirts. Then suddenly, you've had a fun evening.
How to look a man in the eyes
When you catch a man's attention and you see him look at you, look him back, directly in the eyes. And say to yourself, "You're cute." Then look away immediately.
Look too long and the guy will think you are being hostile.
But a quick look with a smile, followed by a look away will get his attention from across the room.
If the first one doesn't work, try again. You want him to cross the room to you.
And when he does, you'll think, "OMG, here's that cute guy with me!"