Sure-Fire Ways to Know For Sure That You are Completely Over Your "Ex"

"I can breathe again," this girl exclaims due to her not thinking of her "ex."
"I can breathe again," this girl exclaims due to her not thinking of her "ex."

Today is March 6, 2015. I am feeling very depressed.

I have thought and thought until I come to myself having missed a delicious dinner or maybe a nice cup of coffee all due to one mental obstacle: Writing a hub that has never before been written. Sadly, that has not happened to me. Yet.

The name of this hub is:

Sure-Fire Ways to Know For Sure That You are Completely Over Your "Ex"

and it is far from a soft romantic-based story where this pretty girl and her newly-found love meet in a picturesque field of yellow flowers and run like wild dogs through the flowers singing, smiling, and falling down and getting bee-stung, but it doesn't hurt. I can only wish this were that soothing and exciting. Sorry. So Richard Gere and Demi Moore (the younger version) you are not needed on my set today.

"This flower reminds me of HIM."
"This flower reminds me of HIM."
"I am sorry, babe. I am not over my 'ex'."
"I am sorry, babe. I am not over my 'ex'."
"Everywhere I look, there SHE is"
"Everywhere I look, there SHE is"

Breaking up comes two ways to you

I am the first to admit that while a thriving, fulfilling relationship with a woman is one of the best things on earth, the break-up is one of the most-painful. Far more painful than the bee stings the couple in the above paragraph received for not watching what they were doing.

A break-up can go two roads: One, the sudden, unexpected that can cause a man or woman a near-cardiac arrest. Or two, a slow, calculated and quiet-toned set-up over a delicious meal with candlelight and then those words, "Dear, I do not mean anything harsh, but I think we should take a break and see other people." The party who hears those words is shocked so fast it cannot be measured with any machine found in any medical science lab.

"I am free of my 'ex,' and that is why I can smile most all of the time."
"I am free of my 'ex,' and that is why I can smile most all of the time."
"Whooo--eeee! It's finally over!"
"Whooo--eeee! It's finally over!"

Break-up memories are like ghosts

Fast, painful, and stunning. And you are history with the guy or girl you have built a solid, trusting foundation with for over three-plus years. But as a parting gift you can almost bet on hearing, "But hunny, we can still be . . ." (I am sorry. I just can't say the rest of this sickening-statement. Besides you have all hard it before).

As months evolve into years, believe it or drink some hot soda, his or her memory is not as strong as it used to be a few weeks after your "break-up." Am I right?

But . . .in order for you to start-over with another girl or guy, if that's your goal, you best do one thing: Make absolutely-sure that YOU are over the one who "dropped the axe" on your neck a couple of years back. Why? The answer is obvious. You and the new girl or guy will have no one between you. No mention or reminder of those quiet loving moments in her front porch swing during those perfect summer evenings. Or riding with the top down in his Mercedes convertible with his right arm firmly hugging you up to him. None of this at all.

If you are haunted by your "ex," listen

"You said HER name again."
"You said HER name again."
"When I was with HIM, I had to ask his permission to move my digits."
"When I was with HIM, I had to ask his permission to move my digits."
"I am such a fool---come baaackkkk!"
"I am such a fool---come baaackkkk!"
"Will staring at strangers keep me from thinking of my "ex?"
"Will staring at strangers keep me from thinking of my "ex?"
"I am leaving, 'Jan,' oops, I am sorry, dear. I mean, 'Sue."
"I am leaving, 'Jan,' oops, I am sorry, dear. I mean, 'Sue."
"I am going to work-out until HE is gone from my heart and mind."
"I am going to work-out until HE is gone from my heart and mind."

How do you know that you are completely-over your "ex"?

  1. Each time you hear "Saturday night," by the Bay City Rollers you do not fall into a hysterical weeping melt down.
  2. When you watch your favorite show, "The Office," now in reruns, and see "Dwight Shroot," chew-out "Angela," for the love she has for her cats, you do not sob like a school girl or boy after their first paddling in grade school.
  3. When your close friends use the phrase, "Uhhh," you cannot help but stop and just for a moment, remember how annoying this phrase really was.
  4. You and your new love are strolling down the avenue and see a lovely middle-aged woman carrying a pet Siamese cat. Suddenly you just stop and stare at both the woman and cat as if you are under a magic spell. Your new love, although embarrassed, asks you why you are doing this. You finally reply that your former boyfriend or girlfriend used to call you "Spoiled Kitty," when they were angry with you.
  5. When you peer into your closet to choose your daily wardrobe, you shake with depression for most of the clothes you see are those he or she bought you. Now thoughts of a big yard sale starting appearing in your mind.
  6. One pretty day you and new love are enjoying a Saturday morning in the park when suddenly, a couple of guys who are in the United States Marines walk by talking and enjoying the day as well. Before your new love can think, you are hugging and kissing the two Marines because your "ex" always told you stories about his dad who was a retired Marine. Note: The Marines do not press charges. This time.
  7. Each time you are alone in your apartment with your living room window open, and you hear the distant sound of a dog barking, you cry like a baby because your pet name for him was, "Snoozer," for all of the obvious reasons. And one I cannot publish on HubPages.
  8. Scrambled eggs are a turn-off for you now for this was your girlfriend's favorite food. Actually, her only food for she was very anorexic.
  9. When you all but demand that your new girlriend wear "Midnight Adultery," a hot-scented perfume from New Hampshire, you stop and have a revelation that you are NOT over your "ex."
  10. You spend a few "G's" on work-out equipment--rowing machine, weights, and a machine that can stretch your muscles like a rubber band and then you cannot use these things for they bring back those intimate memories of your "ex" harping on you to lose weight. "I can live with a girl weighing 110 pounds," he advises. "But a girl who weighs over 344, now that's a different story." You cry for hours. Certainly, you need to face these old feelings and learn how to get on with your life.

This one is for FREE: Probably the best way for you to be absolutely over your "ex" is to stop reading hubs like this from jerks like me.

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Comments 8 comments

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 21 months ago

I took it a little more seriously than a couple of year "romances". Ten years and two children will do that to you. I knew that I was completely over my ex when one night I dreamed that we were getting back together. When it came time to crawl in bed with him, I jerked awake horrified!


ananceleste profile image

ananceleste 21 months ago from California

This one made me laugh. I was blessed, I was over him before I asked him to move out.


Marie Flint 21 months ago

I got a good chuckle from your conclusion: Probably the best way for you to be absolutely over your "ex" is to stop reading hubs like this from jerks like me.

My breakup was, painful for me at first.

Since 1996 (married 16 years; filed for divorce twice during the marriage), we've been living apart with no court order finalizing the split. I well realize I'm better off without him, but he doesn't want the divorce finalized (I had offered him a Divorce Agreement that gave me no concession, except for the right to use a new legal name retaining his surname). Go figure.

Voted Funny.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 21 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MizbeJabbers,

You are so right. Marriage is NOT a bed of easy jobs. And if someone struts up to me talking about having a "perfect" marriage, hopefully their ears work for I want them to hear me walking away.

Love your comment. Visit me often.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 21 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

ananceleste,

I admire your wisdom. And thank you for your sweet comment. I am glad that you are a happy girl.

Maybe you should teach using blurbs from this hub of course.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 21 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Marie,

Thank you kindly for your interesting comment. Very intriguing. But at least YOU are happy and able to live your life accordingly.

I respect that.

And thank you too, for all of your advice and mentoring.

Have a great week.


Venus Rivera profile image

Venus Rivera 21 months ago from Chicago, IL

Break-ups are so hard to go through:(

Great advice! I hope whomever is going through this messy situation take heed to your advice and overcome the lovesick feeling and know in their hearts-of-hearts that one day they will find love again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 21 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Venus,

Thank you so much for your comment which I enjoyed. Just want you to know that.

The getting over someone you DID love is rough. I know. I have survived two of these ordeals.

And FYI, what is even more painful is being in love with someone and not having the courage to tell them.

That, my friend, is one "beast" I do not wish on anyone.

If you have any advice for ME, please share.

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