Sympathy Sex: Is There a Double Standard?

Selfless Vs Selfish

Sadness Leads To Passion

Linda had been trying to reach Bob all weekend to no avail. Monday night he finally answered his phone sounding very despondent.

Linda: I’ve been trying to reach you for a couple of days. What’s the matter?

Bob: I just learned my father died.

Linda: I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m coming over.

About an hour later Linda arrives at Bob’s apartment with Chinese take out. They sit down to eat and Bob talks about the good times he had with his dad. He begins to sob and Linda takes him in her arms. Gently she kisses him, unbuttons his shirt, and opens his pants. Soon they are having passionate sex.

Two Years Later

Bob has been calling Linda and she hasn’t answered her phone. He finally reaches her and she tells him her father died. An hour later Bob shows up at her door with take out from Chili’s. They sit down to eat as Linda reminisces about her childhood and father. Bob comforts her with a hug and kisses her on the forehead. Slowly he begins to undo her blouse. She quickly pushes his hand away.

Linda Stop it!

Bob: What did I do wrong?

Linda: I just told you my father died!

Bob: I know.

Linda: What makes you think I want to have sex?!

Bob: Hey, We did it when my daddy died.

Linda: Just go home!

Befuddled and confused Bob puts on his jacket and goes home. Linda calls her girlfriend to tell her how unbelievably selfish and insensitive Bob was.

Is it possible for a man to provide “sympathy sex”?

Have you ever had "sympathy sex" with anyone?

  • Yes, I wanted to take their mind off problems or make (them) feel better.
  • No, I only have sex while in a relationship and when (I'm) in a romantic mood.
  • No, I'd be too afraid they might become attached and want a relationship.
See results without voting

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Comments 16 comments

MemphisYankee profile image

MemphisYankee 4 years ago from Tennessee

This probably shouldn't make me laugh, but it did. I'd say it's possible, but everyone's different, especially when it comes to grief. Even the same person may be receptive one minute and in a rage the other. It comes with the emotional waves.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

MemphisYankee, Laughing is healthy! Seriously this hub is a little bit tongue in cheek. I agree with you. The same person can react differently in similar situations. Thanks for stopping by and posting a comment.


manthy profile image

manthy 4 years ago from Alabama,USA

There is a double standard to everything.

Good hub - voted up and awesome


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

manthy, Thanks for your comment and the vote up! I suppose it does seem like there is a double standard for everything these days. However I suspect in reality it all comes down to the individual. The same scenario could have just as easily gone another way.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Hi Dash - I agree with manthy. There does seem to be a double standard to everything. That said - I can totally see the scenario you painted happening all the time all over the world. To your question I answer Yes, it's possible if that's what the woman wants. When the couple is close throughout their time together (married, extended relationship) the sympathy sex will seem more compassionate and more 'for' the woman who is hurting. But when the couple/people havent seen each other in years the male making a move will just seem like any other male making a move for the sake of getting laid. Wait - am I allowed to say that here?


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

Ardie, Thanks for your comment! You are allowed to say it. I suppose for some people though they will always view sex between two consenting adults as still being something (the man) is "getting/receiving" from a woman as oppose to something he is "giving" to her no matter what the circumstances are!


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 4 years ago from Stepping past clutter

You should insert a poll into this hub! You could guage people's responses to your last question, which would be an interesting study. I can tell you that I am in total agreement with Linda and have the experience to prove your thesis is correct, lol. Very funny, too.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

Storytellersrus, Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and posting your comment. Ever since Hubpages made he switch in url links my viewership had dropped. Other hubs I've written in the past with polls only generated 2-4 responses on average. I would ask it as a "question" but most likely it would be removed. LOL!


capricornrising profile image

capricornrising 4 years ago from Wilmington, NC

This made me laugh too. (I know - 7 weeks late reading it). I think we're all wired differently. Hmm...maybe I'll ask the "question" - I'm not scared of the big HP (grin).


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

capriconrising, I'm glad this hub put a smile on your face. :-) Thanks for taking the time to post a comment.


Yaduvanshi profile image

Yaduvanshi 4 years ago from Bharat Vrse

The responses in different situation are always different and we must understand this fact


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

Yaduvanshi, Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. I tend to believe everyone is different and they respond differently under the same scenario. Having said that I do believe in certain situations gender does play a role in how we react. Thanks again for your comment.


Sanjida Alam profile image

Sanjida Alam 4 years ago from Bangladesh

LOL........u r a good writer Scorpio! Things are reversed in some cases too! :-P And yes, there are many records of Men providing sympathy sex as well :-)


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

Sanjida Alam, Glad I was able to put a smile on your face. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment! You have a point there are instances where men have been known to nurture a woman through difficult times physically and emotionally.


yssubramanyam profile image

yssubramanyam 4 years ago from india, nellore. andhrapradesh

every human mind in the field of relation and terms beside above said column is totally different, we will not find two identical minds. good hub, i like it.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

yssubramanyam, Thanks for your in depth comment! Hopefully found some humor in the story as well. :-)

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