Teenage Dating - Texting. Fighting, & Going Out

Huskiepride01 asks:

So i've dated a girl already it was a round 4 or five months, and we just argued too much and...

broke up. Then she dated a guy about a month after me for around seven months and then he started dating another girl and they broke up and dont really talk that much now. We've never really quit texting or talking. She asks me about girls when i date one. She always finds out somehow. And we've texted more lately and last weekend she called me and wanted to spend time together, just me and her. It was really random. And when she asked me if I still liked her I said yes, and she responded that isn't a bad thing... Would it be a good time to ask her out on a date again or no? Or just remain fri(ends)

Huskiepride01

Dear Huskiepride01,

Ask her back out.

At your ages, the fact that you guys kept texting and talking is very significant.

You are changing at a rapid pace. You don't even realize it. You feel one way about someone on Monday, and you feel differently by Friday. There's nothing wrong or odd about that. It's really that you are changing. All kinds of things from hormones to chemicals in your brain, to the development of frontal lobes, all give you different perspectives and different feelings.

You said when you went out with her, you argued all the time. Of course it's possible you will again, but to me the fact that you kept texting and talking means that these arguments were superficial and probably over stupid things. They probably weren't deep fights where serious issues were revealed and feelings were hurt.

There's a good chance that you've grown beyond that argument phase. You kept texting because you knew something was there between you, even if it was just a friendship. You liked her enough to put aside the petty arguments and keep the door open.

You were wonderfully patient while she grew too, dating someone, asking you about your dates. Developing her feelings and instincts. She is ready. She made herself a little vulnerable to you by asking you to spend time with her, and asking you if you still like her.

It's time to ask her out. She's made it very easy. She's revealed through these actions that she likes you. All things indicate there's something there between the two of you. Ask her out.

I think you may be surprised at how different it is this time, even if it's only a few months since the last time you dated.

The most important thing is to be honest.

If you go out with her and feel there's nothing there but friendship, don't lead her on. Tell her you really like her but you like her as a friend, and you're happy you guys were able to build a friendship together. Tell her you can hang out and text and everything, but that you don't want to date.

If you go out with her and feel there is something there, then that's fabulous and should be pretty easy for you both to pursue since you've both been pretty honest and forthcoming.

Be honest and respectful, and you really can't go wrong. She's ready to date you again. If you feel the same, I say go for it.


Just Friends

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