Teenage Emotions

If you have a teenager, or have raised a teenager, then you're bound to relate to this, even if you don't actually agree with all the points I make.

Teenagers can run rampant through a myriad of emotions in the span of just a couple of hours. One minute they're laughing and texting their friends and making plans, and the next minute things have drastically changed and the teen no longer has the words to explain what's going on. This usually causes them to scream "you just don't understand!".

As a parent, it can be a very trying time. Part of you wants to shield your child from everything, yet the other part of you realizes some lessons just have to be learned on their own. It's just so difficult sometimes to know when to step in and help and when to walk away and let them know you're there if they want you. I usually have to force the issue and once I do, my daughter usually calms down and talks to me.

Teens can be quite devious and calculating when dealing with each other. With the social networking phenomenon, Facebook, in a matter of seconds every friend of every friend of every friend on your friends list has has been informed of the latest juicy gossip and just what so and so thinks of so and so. We saw this one play out in living color once. What exactly does it mean when someone gives a "likes this" to a snide comment one friend makes about another? They can really be mean towards each other. It certainly was a misunderstanding that could have been better handled by the two offending parties simply talking to one another.

Each time one of these incidences occur all the parties involved are sure that the world is about to end I used to have to remind my own teenage daughter that the world will most likely keep turning even if Ms. Sassy-pants no longer thinks you're her friend and doesn't like you talking to anyone on her latest "forbidden list".

What are the Rules These Days?

  • It seems that some girls have this idea that there is an unwritten sisterhood rule that you never talk to or date an ex-boyfriend of any of your friends. To a degree, I understand this rule because it can sometimes ruin a friendship if everyone involved isn't quite as mature as the rest. However, when you live in a small town, and you have about 6-8 close girlfriends that like to change boyfriends like hairdressers change hairstyles, then you soon run out of people you can talk to.
  • When did it become a friend's right, or even business, to tell another friend who he/she should and shouldn't be hanging around with? I know, I know, you insist that you're just "looking out for their own good".
  • When did it become the thing to do to blast each other on Facebook for the world to see? What happened to working things out with each other privately? Then why does everyone feel the need to chime in and take sides? Even one of the moms joined in making her own harsh comments. Do parents really need to join in and fight along with the teens?
  • Why is texting preferred over good old-fashioned talking these days?

How to Help Your Child Maintain Self-Worth

I guess the toughest thing for me is to watch my daughter's self-worth deteriorate when she's been treated unkindly and she hasn't yet learned that these so-called friends' opinions aren't worth as much as she thinks.

I don't think teenagers realize the long-lasting effects their words can have on each other. I have tried to teach her no to stoop to their level and to not take their harsh words to heart. I'm sure you can ask any adult and they can vividly recall situations in their childhood and teens where someone made discouraging and rude comments to them. When they recall these episodes, it often rekindles old fears, feelings and even tears.

Talk to your children about how harmful words can be. They don't want to be the one that scars someone for life.

A Award-Winning Public Service Announcement about Teens

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BetsyIckes profile image

BetsyIckes 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

Oh man! I've been dealing with teenage emotions at my house for 20 years now! Thanks for sharing!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

20 years?! YOU should be writing a hub on it, not me!

Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Hey KCC! Great hub! I was spared this with my son. He is so calm - no great highs/lows and always spoke his heart intelligently.. however I drive a school bus and I see this in epic proportions! If it wasn't so serious to them I'd be laughing all the way home!!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Oh my, a whole busload of raging emotions! It's really sad to see how cruel they are to each other. I would think most boys would be easier to handle on this topic. Girls are so catty.

kowality profile image

kowality 6 years ago from Everywhere

My hat goes off to you Gals. Not only do you bear the weight...you give great follow up by raising them.

HappyHer profile image

HappyHer 6 years ago from Cleveland, OH

Well done! I love the part about texting. If I didn't text, I might not be able to communicate with my daughter when she's not around, she simply just doesn't do the "voice thing"!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Thank you very much kowality!

I know what you mean, HappyHer. There are lots of times my daughter won't answer her phone but she'll respond to a text.

Thanks for stopping by!

alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 6 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

I don't have a teenager now, but I had two of them at one time. I can totally related to your hub. Good job.

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

If only children came with a set of individual instructions! The teenage years are just brutal. I still remember mine, and apparently so does my son who will soon turn 40 and still won't talk to me because of some slight he imagined as a teen. He officially is the most stubborn child in the world.

Strangely enough, as you say, their peers are far more cruel than their parents.

thevoice profile image

thevoice 6 years ago from carthage ill

good teenager hub stay in touch will all aspects of life thanks

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Thank you Alekhouse, Austinstar and TheVoice. Austinstar, you have a son that's 40? You don't look 40 yourself! Hope things get resolved for you. Some outgrow their stubborness.

Mardi profile image

Mardi 6 years ago from Western Canada and Texas

Great Hub KCC. I especially appreciate the insight about the harm words can do, texting and Facebook, it seems that face to face communication is going the way of the neighborhood getting together for coffee or a potluck dinner. Gosh- I sound like my Grandfather!!!

H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State

Great Hub- Parents need to take an active role in their teens lives and give positive guidance- I hated being a teenager, I hated life when I was a teenager. I didn't fit in, I was teased and ganged up on by 'popular' kids and went home many days begging for my parents to let me go to a different school in a different town. I was so miserable (and longed for someone to chat on the phone with)-I graduated early to get away from the kids. My parents thought I was just being dramatic- but sitting alone at lunch or eating in the bathroom to avoid being picked on, is horrible for a kid. It was even worse when I did make friends. One week you were spending the night at someones house and talking on the phone and without reason the next week, those same friends were starting rumors and taking part in the laughter that was going on behind your back. Why do kids do these things? Cause they too want to fit in and if fitting in for just a moment is at the expense of another-many kids will go along with others.

Words can do some serious damage to kids (especially at that age-when fitting in somewhere, is extremely important to surviving day to day life), perhaps if parents took a stand to emphasize what damage words can do-life would be easier for a lot of the 'Not so cool' kids. Parents need to remember how important friends were when they were 14-15-16 years old-and not shrug off their teenagers when they are having difficult times-because as an adult you know that next week can be very different for your child.

My kids are only 1 and 2, but I already emphasize the importance of being nice and not calling other people names when they are angry. I feel for them already for what they will experience as teens-no way in h*ll, I would ever want to live through those years again.

Thanks for the hub-and the reminder of 'The Power of a Word"

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Thank you HC Porter. You expressed very well exactly what I'm trying to convey (you should write a hub about it too!). You are a testiment to my contention that most adults can recall times in their youth when they were taunted, teased or made fun of and how much it still hurts you today.

Thanks for stopping by!

mboosali profile image

mboosali 6 years ago from Minneapolis

It's kind of messed up that the don't date friends exes doesn't really come up as much with guys . . .

and I remember being told by a friend that I had a good chance with his ex girlfriend. I was surprised by that. However, it was difficult for me this year when I began a relationship with my roommate's ex, but we worked it out. I felt that way with buddies in high school to, like some people are just all of a sudden off limits.

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Thanks for giving me a guy's perspective on the dating thing. I think it's a stupid "rule". While I don't think it's a good idea to chase a friend's ex's, if there is an attraction there, why not date them? It's just too many headgames for a bunch of teens who aren't mature enough to handle the headgames.

Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

They say sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never harm me. Bones can heal. When we say something mean or hurtful to someone it hurts for a long time

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

I agree Granny's House. As hard as we try to ignore the mean and inconsiderate things people say, it still hurts and it still takes a long, long time to get over it. Some never do.

starme77 profile image

starme77 6 years ago

Nice hub , informative, these days with family problems here its difficult for me to distiguish between normal teenage stuff and the family stuff , so this hub was a much need read for me :) Thanks for writing it :)

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

Thanks Starme. You've just been through a particularly tough situation. Emotions are going to be particularly touchy right now. You'll get through it. The key is communication. Make sure you always keep that door to communication open.

mboosali profile image

mboosali 6 years ago from Minneapolis

yeah . . . It was tough with my situation, because I saw him separate himself from the guys that his ex, my girlfriend now even talked to. So, when all of a sudden those feelings for her where mine and oh so real, it was really really rough for a couple of weeks when I wasn't sure what was going on. Was I losing my best friend by dating the love of my life?

but then it ended up helping there friendship. . .

thank God it all worked out!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

It can get tough, mboosali. Glad it all worked out the way you wanted!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 6 years ago from Central Texas Author

I'm pleased to announce that HC Porter took me up on my suggestion to write a hub about her experience! I've now included the link above just before PSA video. It's a great hub! It really helps you understand how difficult going through those awkward years can be and then how they continue to affect you throughout your adult life.

Dan Bristol 3 years ago

Try this: 8 years into my marriage and my stepdaughter still hates me. We all walk on eggshells around her. Teenage girls are evil to the bone.

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 3 years ago from Central Texas Author

Awwww.....Dan, she's not evil. You just haven't found a common ground yet to work from. Step-relationships can be difficult, no doubt about it. But, it can work if you both try. If she's resistent get to know what she likes and try to relate to her on those things. It may take time, and either you'll eventually get there or she'll graduate and move out. :) Things will be better as she matures.

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