Ten Pillars of Marriage and Relationships That Couples Must Talk About

Remember the Basic Three From the Bible

In a previous hub on biblical secrets of a happy marriage I mentioned:

  1. Love for your self means a healthy self concept.
  2. Love for your spouse; and the New Testament imperative is to love your spouse better than yourself.
  3. Love for God should dominate the relationship for as we draw closer to the divine we draw closer to each other.

Now for Seven More Important Issues for Relationships

4. Premarital counselling is important in order to evaluate the nature of your engagement, and to study issues of compatibility in order to create realistic expectations. There are still many spouses who view counselling as strictly remedial. Whether or not you received premarital counselling it is instgructive to seek help from a qualified professional if you find it difficult to work out issues in your marriage.

5. What do You Want Out of This Relationship?

Talk about where the relationship is going; take notes of marital history, and nature of present relationship. Are we going to grow together or is this a temporary fling. Is it all physical or is there a deep heart felt loving warm caring connection with a spiritual foundation.


6. Temper and Temperament

Attend a personality temperament seminar with your partner. We tend to misunderstand temperaments of others. We all know that no one is pigeonholed into a fixed temperament but it is true that we tend to find ourselves with at least two dominant temperaments from the four.

a. Sanguine: The talkative life of the party who finds it difficult to keep the many promises and follow up with all the charming networking. But will keep you smiling.

b. Choleric: The born leader with the anger and ego problem.

c. Phlegmatic: Perpetually laid back state of peace and compromise but a great mediator.

d. Melancholy: The thoughtful, creative thinker who tends to perfectionism.

Take time to discuss the conflicts that will come when the personalities clash. And rejoice that love will find a way.


7. Let's Communicate About Love

We want to give and receive affection in words,meaningful touch, and deliberate activities to enrich the lives of our partners. As we relate to our spouses we fulfil individual needs for love, acceptance, and appreciation. So vital that we express our feelings and opinions on these matters as a relationship progresses.


8. Who is the Leader

A question which you will respond to with another issue; the whole matter of gender role. No doubt influenced by your own childhood as well as local culture. Despite education, persons are still seeking to replicate the power structure from their childhood home.

9. Earning and Managing Money

The job, the paycheck, and the family budget are all big issues by themselves; but we will combine them here for convenience.

Be supportive of each other in the pursuit of meaningful and sustainable educational and career opportunities. The management of money may break or make a marriage. I believe in planning all major purchases and in operating joint bank accounts.


10. Finally, the Bedroom!

Sexual needs must be met and with sex comes issues of contraception and childbearing. In a dysfunctional home, intercourse may be a battleground for punishment or for domination. But in a loving relationship it should be a thrilling experience of total submission to your partner.

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