"The" 10, Absolutely Worst, Things You Can Do or Say

GUYS, "PLEASE" READ THIS CAREFULLY

when a buddy tells you he has a blind date for you, SEE the girl FIRST.
when a buddy tells you he has a blind date for you, SEE the girl FIRST.

Pictures of "absolutely" the worst things men and women can do or say. (Explanations in story).

HEY, PAL. NO NEED FOR THIS IRATE BEHAVIOR. OH, I SEE. A CUSTOMER IS TO BLAME.
HEY, PAL. NO NEED FOR THIS IRATE BEHAVIOR. OH, I SEE. A CUSTOMER IS TO BLAME.
"SPOT" IS UPSET. READ STORY AND FIND OUT WHY.
"SPOT" IS UPSET. READ STORY AND FIND OUT WHY.
HEY, GIRLS. THIS EVER HAPPEN TO YOU AT WORK?
HEY, GIRLS. THIS EVER HAPPEN TO YOU AT WORK?
TALK ABOUT INNOCENCE. THIS GIRL IS INNOCENT, BUT LETHAL IN THE OFFICE.
TALK ABOUT INNOCENCE. THIS GIRL IS INNOCENT, BUT LETHAL IN THE OFFICE.
HOW CAN THIS LOVELY GIRL MAKE YOUR DAY MISERABLE?
HOW CAN THIS LOVELY GIRL MAKE YOUR DAY MISERABLE?
WHAT MADE THIS GIRL FIGHTING MAD?
WHAT MADE THIS GIRL FIGHTING MAD?
THIS ELDERLY MAN'S FEELINGS ARE HURT.
THIS ELDERLY MAN'S FEELINGS ARE HURT.
WHY IS THIS CUSTOMER REP HOLDING THE PHONE AWAY FROM HIS EAR?
WHY IS THIS CUSTOMER REP HOLDING THE PHONE AWAY FROM HIS EAR?
ANGRY COP? WONDER WHAT MADE HIM ANGRY?
ANGRY COP? WONDER WHAT MADE HIM ANGRY?

So you decide to eat

at this fancy dining establishment. The type of restaurant that requires men to wear a tie and suit. Not your average "dive," with the smoky atmosphere, fights breaking out every five minutes and a gallon glass jug on the bar with pickled eggs to eat. This place you are dining at tonight is uptown with a lot of class.

Uh, oh. Your steak doesn't good. Your taste buds are finely-tuned instruments that tell you when food isn't good. You tell your waiter, "Lance," to tell the chef about this problem. "Lance" complies. Several times. But the chef is very temperamental. He doesn't remedy the problem. You tell "Lance," "your chef is a bum!"

Friend. just eat the steak without uttering a word to "Lance" or anyone. Insulting a chef anywhere is definitely one of the "10 Worst Things You Can Do or Say."


ARE YOU A PERSON who loves dogs? The world needs more animal-lovers. Say, you have a new next-door neighbor moving in who has a cute puppy. You go to welcome the them, but friend, you were busy cutting-up the steaks for your cook-out and never changed clothes. When you set foot on this new neighbor's property, your love for dogs will disappear. Having the scent of raw meat on your clothes is "One of The Worst Things You Can Do or Say."

GIRLS, WHEN YOU GO TO A BIG OFFICE MEETING do you ever take that extra minute to inspect your teeth? Oh, I know that you check your make-up which is always perfect, but if you have lunch before this meeting, chances are that when you and the girls are in the ladies room "freshening up" for the meeting, you might be distracted talking about the new single guy in the office and neglect your front teeth. When people laugh at you in the meeting for having a piece of cabbage lodged in your teeth, you will think of this story.

GUYS, ALWAYS BE AWARE of your surroundings in every restaurant you frequent. Why? I will tell you. There you are at your table nibbling on that prime rib when you spy a very hot chick at the next table who winks at you. You smile and wink back. Hey, this might lead to something, but this pesky kid with a pinwheel keeps running around and around your table laughing and giggling until you tell the hot chick, "this brat has to go," and the hot chick's face turns hades-red and says, "that brat IS MY KID." Oops. You are looking pretty foolish right about now. Just take a few extra minutes when this happens to you and assume that the kid belongs to a hot chick and most of all, keep your anger under-raps, or no "getting lucky" for you.

GIRLS AND GUYS, THIS IS A SIMILAR SITUATION that if you do not first think before speaking, you could end-up unemployed. I am totally-serious. Let's pretend that your overbearing boss has called you into his office for a "brain-storming" session about new ideas for the company to make more money. He leaves his office door open. This is a sign for you to be "sharp as a tack." Suddenly, without warning, during your talk with the boss, this twelve-year old girl walks by the boss' office grinning and just being a young person. You laugh outloud and foolishly remark, "did ya' see that, boss? That girl is so ugly she should be named "Muddy Fence." Good luck finding a new job, for you have forgotten that today was "Bring Your Daughter To Work Day," and "Muddy Fence" was your now-ex-boss' daughter. Didn't your boss' veins sticking out on his head mean anything to you?

HEY, GUYS. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE and I am sorry if you think that I am picking on you, but I am not. I am here to help you avoid confusion, fights, and humiliation. My advice to you, if you are already-engaged to marry the "love of your life," is to get to know and meet every female relative she has. Even those who live in far-away lands. If you don't, well this could happen to you. You are sitting on the couch one evening and she asks, "want to see some photos?" Sure. As an engaged-guy, you are very agreeable. While sifting through the photos, you just have to say, "who's this dog?" Referring to a girl who is cosmetically-challenged. Well, buddy. Welcome back to the single life, for this "dog," was her older sister, "June," who lives in Michigan. I am serious. Avoid embarrassment and know your girlfriend's female relatives.

GIRLS OR GUYS, THIS SITUATION IS PRESENT ALMOST EVERYDAY as you enter or exit any store in your town. You are in a big hurry to meet your new girl (or boy) friend at the local Burger King and man, is he (or she) hot! Your arms are full of new clothes you have just bought inside the store and this elderly man (or woman) is in your way walking as fast as a 90-year-old can walk. And there it is. Your "anger area." "can you hurry up, old timer?" you blurt out without thinking. You have not only hurt his old man (or woman's) feelings, but made a fool of yourself in public. Just take it easy and let the senior citizen move at his (or her) own speed.

HEY, CUSTOMER REP'S, THIS IS FOR YOU so pay close-attention. Briefly, the most-annoying, irritating thing that can ever be said to a customer is, "can you hold for a minute while I get my boss?" Oh at the awful swearing your sensitive ears will hear. And this customer is not an ex-Marine, but an elderly granny with a bad phone. Be nice. Be cool. And think before you speak. If you want to keep this job.

OKAY, YOU HAVE PARTIED, BUT NOT DRANK ALCOHOL but a police officer pulls you over as you go home. Just a routine traffic stop. You forget that you are sober and panic. Bad move. Then you do something even more stupid. You say to the cop, "don't check my breath, haw, haw," this will only arouse suspicion. Be still. Be quiet and he will let you go. Deal?

Just want to say "thanks" to you for taking time to read this self-help hub. I am not trying to tell you how to live your lives, but how you can have an easier life.

And I encourage you to copy down this information and keep it tacked-securely to your bathroom or bedroom wall just in-case a situation I talk about in this story arises.

Peace.


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Comments 20 comments

tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hello Kenneth. How are you today and the family? I hope Alabama is treating you well. I discovered this finely writ hub offering sound advice. A personal note for one likened to a recluse, this is gold in my book. I will bear these in mind as I venture further out again. These make not just good sense, yet offer a hidden message for me at least. Slow down, ponder, then act.

tim

I leave giving a high five


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Great Hub Kenneth!


Lastheart profile image

Lastheart 4 years ago from Borik√©n the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

Kenneth thanks for not trying to tell us how to live our lives, but how we can have an easier life.


lupine profile image

lupine 4 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, thanks for the reminders to help keep us out of trouble. Most of these things I already do, especially not making comments about pictures because you never know who they may be, and also being patient with 90 year olds.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Great advice. It's amazing what will fly out of people's mouths sometimes!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

This was great. Amusing situations and good advice all around. Thanks for sharing.


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

I will make a copy of this hub and take it around in my purse! Fun hub Kenneth!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, tsmog,

how are you? Alabama is rainy where I live. Thank God. We were drying up. Hey, thanks for your insightful remarks that I had to hold onto my head to keep it from swelling, but in all sincerity, Thanks for being a warm hearted person. I appreciate you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, curiad . . .Thank you KINDLY, for your kind comment. I appreciate you taking time to read this and comment too. But the truth of the thing is this: This hub was written MORE to ME than anyone else but my mouth can get me into several jams. But I am learning.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Lastheart,

I am obliged to you for your touching comment. I never thought of it that way, but you are right. I am no one's "tourguide of life," just an adviser of how WE can not toil to hard to life a more-peaceful life.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, lupine,

I am as guilty, well, more-guilty than anyone of speaking before thinking. Dear God, help me with these areas of weakness.

And bless my dear friends on this comment tree.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

I agree with you. And I just pray to God that the things that come from MY mouth will be tempered by His wisdom that I will not be an offense to anyone.

I had much rather be accused of building someone up, than tearing them down.

Happy Labor Day!

Kenneth and Festus


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Greetings, Gypsy Rose Lee,

Thanks so very much for your sweet comment. I am very appreciative of your words that touch my heart.

God bless.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, picklesandrufus,

Wy' a hearty thank you for what you said in your comment. That makes my day complete. And thanks for THIS and all of your comments.

Kenneth

PS: hope your Labor Day is Safe and Fun.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Great advice. I would say think before you speak and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.

I hope you are having a great weekend

Take care :)


lupine profile image

lupine 4 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, I love reading your hubs, they are always entertaining and make me laugh, most of the time. You always get lots of comments too. Glad to have a hubber friend like you.Hope you enjoyed this Labor Day with your family and friends.


Debra Emerson 4 years ago

Kenny, I too love your hubs. I too have had food in my teeth after eating and someone told me about it. I will take your words to heart!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear Susan,

Thank you kindly for your sweet comments and words that made me feel better. I preach more to MYSELF than to anyone. That you said about not saying anything if you cant say anything nice is a GREAT bit of advice. Thanks.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Lupine,

Thanks very much for your kind words. I am so blessed with having YOU and all of MY FOLLOWERS in my life. I am a blessed man, even with pains of the physical state.

God bless you.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Debra,

me too. And that was funny. Days later, but not at the time.

Thanks again.

Kenneth

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