The 10 Most Embarrassing Products A Man Can Buy
Shopper Shame - Not A New Afflication...
Shopper’s Shame seems to be a hang-up unique to men. Women don’t feel embarrassed buying say, underwear for their husbands, but guys don’t even like to be spotted in the women’s underwear section alone.With that in mind, here are ten of the most humiliating, embarrassing, and shameful products that men will conveniently “forget to pick up” when sent shopping...
No 10 - Tampax
This is an obvious one, and probably the most common, so we’ll get it out of the way here. It’s also, probably, the most absurd item on the list. Having a girlfriend or wife who menstruates once a month is hardly a “skeleton in the closet”, so what’s the big deal? The only conceivable use that men could have for feminine hygiene products is that some outdoorsmen have been known to use pads as a sort of super-bandaid in their first aid kit, so the only possible misunderstanding that can arise is that the man buying the product is going camping. (Well plus some urban legends about the gay community we won't go into). For shame!
This may seem like a low ranking for tampax which, for many men, would probably rank number one. Honestly though, the embarrassment about tampax is just so absurd. The rest of the list will focus on things that make a little more sense to be bashful about.
9 - Women's Underwear
Men in lingerie stores will try to make it AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE that they are shopping for their wives or girlfriends. The second a man walks into a lingerie store, he’s dead certain someone in the office is calling the police to report a crazy pervert. Then there’s some relief when the purchase is made and “Phew! Now they know I’m not crazy, they just think I’m a fabulous transvestite!” Rest assured, the staff at Victoria’s Secret know that most of their male customers are there for completely girlfriend-and-wife-related reasons, even if your special lady happens to have the exact same measurements as you do!
8 - Romantic Reading
“Chick lit” for the missus, teeny bopper magazines for the daughter, guys don’t want to look like they’re fans of Zack Ephron, celeb gossip magazines or Bridget Jones’s Diary. The same goes for renting a movie like Steel Magnolias or Sex and the City. Make sure to put on a sour face, and the clerk is sure to know you’re renting against your will.
7 - Pregnancy Tests
Buying a pregnancy test isn’t always embarrassing. If you’re confident in the knowledge that you do practice safe sex, or if you’re trying to have a baby, you can walk in and out with your head held high. When you know that you made a mistake, though, buying a pregnancy test can feel a little bit like going to face the firing squad.
6 - Adult XXX Videos
This would be a little bit higher up on the list, but then there’s the old trick of renting a couple of normal movies and sandwiching the dirty one in between. The clerk won’t even notice Lust in Space sitting between Star Wars and Blade Runner!Besides, it’s returning the movie after you’ve watched it that’s really embarrassing.
5 - One Roll of Toilet Paper
This can happen to men and women alike, but come on, who’s more likely to run out of toilet paper at the absolute worst moment possible? When you’re only buying one roll, you’re sending out a clear message “I need this right now!” A close runner up would have to be buying a toilet plunger while dancing from foot to foot.
4 - “Don’t Get The Wrong Idea” Combinations
We won’t go into too much detail here, but as a general rule, unlike fast food, certain combos are not good. So, men try to avoid buying combos like Kleenex and hand lotion , or baby oil and cucumbers at the same time.
3 - Extra Large Condoms
There’s nothing shameful at all about practicing safe sex, but buying extra large condoms and announcing your unique anatomy to the cashier, especially if you have to ask an attractive young lady if they stock “something a little bigger” can cause quite a bit of blushing and uncomfortable silence.
2 - Extra Small Condoms
Bet you were wondering how large condoms only ranked number three, weren’t you?Bonus points for number 3 and number 2 if you walk right back into the same store an hour later for a pack of cigarettes. DOUBLE bonus points if you walk into the same store for cigarettes less than an hour after buying the condoms.
1 - Embarrassing Medication
This one has got to be the worst. We don’t feel too embarrassed when we’re buying dandruff medication or athlete’s foot powder, but lice medication, haemarrhoid cream, jock itch powder, and in fact, just about anything applied below the waist and above the knees, men are likely to drive to the next town over to pick it up, just to make sure that they never, ever see the pharmacy clerk ever, ever again.
Or wear an elaborate disguide. Why are those sales assistants always female?
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