The 10 Worst Mistakes Men Make With Women

Women are fearless. Give them a challenge and they will attack it with the ferocity of a grizzly bear.
Women are fearless. Give them a challenge and they will attack it with the ferocity of a grizzly bear.
Are women just on earth to gaze at? Some men think so, for they never ask a woman's opinion or what she thinks. And worse, never listen when the woman does speak.
Are women just on earth to gaze at? Some men think so, for they never ask a woman's opinion or what she thinks. And worse, never listen when the woman does speak.
A woman is a force on earth. She can, with only a few words, build a man up or destroy his confidence. Remember this, men.
A woman is a force on earth. She can, with only a few words, build a man up or destroy his confidence. Remember this, men.
A woman can communicate in most every area of life. This woman is talking to her girlfriend who lives on the other side of the world. Women make enduring friendships.
A woman can communicate in most every area of life. This woman is talking to her girlfriend who lives on the other side of the world. Women make enduring friendships.
Women are not only to be admired for their beauty, but for their sharp communication skills and social contributions.
Women are not only to be admired for their beauty, but for their sharp communication skills and social contributions.
Women sometimes need some alone time to dwell on their lives, children, and relationships with friends and even you, her companion.
Women sometimes need some alone time to dwell on their lives, children, and relationships with friends and even you, her companion.
Men, remember that there is power in numbers of women. Be nice to all women in groups. Do NOT single one woman out, or her friends will turn on her.
Men, remember that there is power in numbers of women. Be nice to all women in groups. Do NOT single one woman out, or her friends will turn on her.
Lovely and smart. Men, compliment your wife or girlfriend often. They not only deserve it, but they dress up and look nice for YOU!
Lovely and smart. Men, compliment your wife or girlfriend often. They not only deserve it, but they dress up and look nice for YOU!
Nothing beats the friendships forged by two women. This couple might have been friends since kindergarten.
Nothing beats the friendships forged by two women. This couple might have been friends since kindergarten.
Women have brains and can think. Give your wife or girlfriend the chance to prove to you that she can solve problems.
Women have brains and can think. Give your wife or girlfriend the chance to prove to you that she can solve problems.
Women confide in each other far better than guys. There is a more intimate sense of communication among women.
Women confide in each other far better than guys. There is a more intimate sense of communication among women.
Women and their girlfriends are a sacred place. Men, do not ever, criticize one of your wife's girlfriends.
Women and their girlfriends are a sacred place. Men, do not ever, criticize one of your wife's girlfriends.

Read, Listen and Learn

Women. Don’t we men love them! Women come in all sizes, shapes, colors, political affiliations, college allegiances, hair colors, eye colors and dress sizes. And we men appreciate them, but are without proper words to adequately express our feelings about these near-perfect creations of God: Women.

For years, most women have been neglected, used, abused, overlooked for promotions at work, worked for less than a man doing the same job and thought of as a ‘second class citizen’ in their homes. And women, you know that I am not just blowing smoke. I am telling the unvarnished truth.

Women, for many years, have, for so long, gone overlooked in the many contributions they have made to modern-day society. I am not with ample space, time or mental faculties to list every single thing that women have added to society, not detracted from it.

I say this with the utmost respect, “Women are complex creatures.” Why I know that fact? I am married to a woman. Before I married my wife, I even dated women. And every woman I carried on a date was entirely different from the woman I dated the weekend before. In general, women think on the same wavelength. You abuse one woman, you might as well abuse all women. And that says women live in solidarity for they, sometimes, only have other women to look out for them.

It’s easy, so easy, for a man, any man, to make a mistake in life. We are all human beings prone to making an occasional mistake. But I find that when we men are dealing with women, the percentage of making mistakes grows higher because 1. We men haven’t been educated or given enough sensitivity training to ‘really’ understand a woman’s wants, needs, or her goals in life . And 2. We mean think that we can just lay-back, be ourselves, and the woman we are with at the time, will fully-understand us and our bumbling communication and social skills. Not so, gents.

I have been doing some rather serious thinking about this story. Well, honestly, I do a lot of serious thinking about all of my stories for I want them to be useful, enjoyable, and sometimes comical to make you laugh if only for a moment to forget whatever trouble is on your mind. And now is the perfect time to say, a sincere “thank you,” to all of the HubPages editors who are women , Thank you for all the hard work that you do. This man appreciates you very much.

The title of this story is, “The 10 Worst Mistakes Men Make With Women,” and by taking time to read this, speaking to the men, maybe one or all of these points will help you to not only be a better man, but a far-better husband with finely-tuned communication, mental, and social skills--are three areas are always to be in tune and “hitting on all cylinders” to enable you, the men, to find success in dealing with the women in your life.

And let me repeat -- these points are only to the men in our audience.

1. DO NOT ASSUME - that your wife or girlfriend will always like “you.” Getting into a rut in a marriage or relationship when you are dating is near-fatal to that marriage or single relationship. If you look and listen carefully, men, you can spot the tell-tale signs of this rigorous arena of “getting into a rut.”

A. she rolls her eyes when you suggest the SAME place for dinner. Women like variety.

B. she lets out a soft breath of disgust when you get her the SAME gift for her birthday or anniversary.

C. she is cold toward you for NEVER showing her any affection. Women are wired differently, men. They appreciate being told the nice things--”Honey, you look good tonight,” or “Dear, that necklace is just you!” Little things, men. Not big things. Help you to keep your marriage or single relationship intact.

2. NEVER THINK - at all. That women don’t mind YOU talking about ‘old flames’ in your past. They do. Big time. Would you appreciate her bringing up the “Todd’s,” “Biff’s” and “Roger’s” she dated before she met you? No, you wouldn’t. Put the ‘old flames” out. Simple enough.

3. NEVER ACCEPT - their answer, “Fine,” when you ask, “Honey, is everything alright?” If you get the one-word answer, mostly ‘fine,’ then there is a problem that you need to sit down and talk to her about. There is definitely something on her mind. And please, when you ask the woman in your life if something is wrong, and she says, “fine,” do not grab the remote and tune-in to Monday Night Football for soon, if you keep up this accepting that she is ‘fine,’ Monday Night Football may become your companion. And that isn’t a pleasant image to have in your mind.

4. NEVER INTERRUPT - your wife or girlfriend when she is in mid-sentence. She is expressing her feelings to you, the man in her life. And by interrupt I mean, don’t say anything like this, “Honey, that’s all good and fine about your dilemma, but let me tell you what happened to me in the office,” this tells her that you don’t care, at all, about her feelings much less what her day was like being a stay-at-home mom with all the marketing, child-raising, cooking, cleaning, and bill-paying to do all before YOU got home from work. Just listen to her. That’s all you need to do. Listen.

5. NEVER GO TO SLEEP - with an unresolved problem that she brought up, but you only told her, “We can talk later. I’m beat,” get it solved. Then. Your sleep will be sweeter. And you won’t have to take up the unresolved problem the next day. Face troubles immediately. Both you and your wife or girlfriend will be much more benefited.

6. NEVER THINK IT’S OKAY - to even playfully ‘joke’ about her girlfriends. This is a ‘landmine’ for a marriage or single-relationship. Okay. I get it. Some of her girlfriends are not as attractive as she is. Big deal. But try to compliment them the best you can. I say that a labored-compliment is far better than a playful joke about her friends. She values her girlfriends. Remember, she had them before she had you in her life. And friendships to women, are sacred. Keep that in mind.

7. ALWAYS KNOW - that’s it’s the last thing you say to her that she remembers the most. If you work and she doesn’t, I don’t care how bad you feel, give her a nice kiss and embrace and tell her “I love you.” I have heard of men and women who didn’t tell their companions that they loved them as they left the house and, sadly, they met with a fatal accident leaving the companion left behind to always dwell on the fact that they wished they had told the other companion that they loved them. And do this before you to go to sleep. My wife and I have been married, by the grace of God, 36 years, and we practice this at nighttime and if one of us leaves the house. Men, the “what ‘if’s” can cause you such mental torment that I cannot begin to describe it here. Just tell your wife you love her when you leave and at bedtime. And throw in some I love you’s when you are both together.

8. NEVER DECEIVE YOURSELF - into believing that just because she is not talking to you, that YOU are the root of the problem. I think it’s fine to ask if you did something to offend her, but normally, her mind is on the kids’ schoolwork, what a neighbor said to her or something that she thinks is serious. In this case, do not badger her into telling you why she isn’t talking to you. But be available for her when and if she decides to talk. DO NOT grab the golf clubs and say, “Honey, gonna go get Tom and hit a few balls. Call me on my cell at the country club if you want to talk about your troubles,” for when you return home, you will have a set of brand-new troubles to meet you. Give of yourself. She will appreciate you for it, men.

9. DON’T LET IT SINK INTO YOUR MIND - that what you think or what your opinion is, that’s her’s also. Remember, women have minds, brains, their minds work faster than a 40 gig, 700 megabyte hard drive. They can process facts at the speed of light. Please say this (or something like this) when you are discussing a situation or problem with your wife or girlfriend, “What do you think?” Then listen. She just might solve the problem that is facing both of you. I know first-hand that over the years, my wife has solved many problems for us. And I was glad of it. I am proud of the fact that I made it my practice to compliment, encourage, and build up my wife no matter how good or bad I felt. Especially when family situations were on the table.

10. DON’T CREATE - trouble for yourself when keeping quiet will be better. So what if a guy smiled at her at the supermarket? So what? This just compliments your taste in women. Even if a guy chats with her at the same supermarket, is this any reason for you to start manufacturing jealousy-related fantasies and stupid questions about her having an affair right there in the frozen foods department? Listen to the facts before you open your mouth. God gave you two ears and one mouth. This guy just might be one of her old classmates. And listen, guys, when one of your female classmates see you and your wife in public and this classmate of yours speaks to you or embraces you…DO NOT act like a Romeo, kiss her repeatedly, hold her hand, stand with your back to your wife and the worst mistake you can ever make in this situation: You never introduce this female classmate to your wife. And even worse, you say, “And this is my ‘ol lady,’ of 32 years,” this is out and out disrespect toward your wife. Be smart. Act sensible. Talk sensible. This will be to your advantage, men.

In closing, here are a few more things that us men can profit by:

1. Women were not put on earth to be our servants.

2. Women are not to be used as breeding stock.

3. Women have rights--at home, school, and in the workplace.

4. A wife is not to lord over you, but walk WITH you.

5. Confessing to your wife or girlfriend, that you have feelings is not a sign of weakness.

6. Truth be told, women do not like violent-driven men.

7. A woman can be your best friend, ally, confidant. Without you feeling less than a man.

So with this information-packed story, I must bid you all farewell. This has been so much fun to try to be of help to all of the men who read my stories. My overall goal is to help one person at a time and thereby, the old saying, “one person can make a difference,” will become a reality.



More by this Author


Comments 44 comments

Arlene V. Poma 5 years ago

This is a funny, very entertaining and just plain precious writing from a very wise man. Thanks for the ride!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I think you touched on some very important areas in how a man treats a women. Rated up.


mega1 profile image

mega1 5 years ago

Kenneth - You're very serious, aren't you! Wow! you are a keeper! I just want to say that the A-number 1 mistake most men make with women is thinking that all women are going to think alike. We don't because we are all so very different. I really think the best a man can do is keep his mind and eyes and ears open and really see the woman for who she is - a distinct and unique individual who needs attention and acceptance more than anything. If you do this you will naturally respond in the moment, honestly, and that is about the most any sane woman would want. Those seven things you listed are wisdom and truth! Now, as for the INSANE ones (and I have been accused!) that's another story, altogether. Great hub - you got me thinking and you are brave to approach this subject! Now, what are the 10 things I think women do wrong with men? hmmmmmm. . .


AEvans profile image

AEvans 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

I hope that many men will read this from a man's perspective, you certainly do know so much about us! Our girlfriends are a land mine and the worse they a man can do is tell us what they think of them. Regardless of there faults we are also thick as thieves. We are the ya-ya sisterhood! lolololo :D Wonderful read! :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

AEvans, thank you so much for this honest and yet, warm comment. I am totally-serious and committed to bringing change to our world...one man at a time. Then, hopefully, both sexes can get along better. And again, my sincere thanks to you, a new friend and great writer.


KoraleeP profile image

KoraleeP 5 years ago from Vernon British Columbia Canada

I loved this hub! Thanks so much for taking the time to write it. This is perfect advice to all the men out there.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU SO MUCH KoraleeP! I appreciate those kind words. You have made my morning, day and possibly my week. I LOVE your work too. And I hope that the men in our hub community would take time to learn about women instead of just using them. Was that too harsh? I hope not. Koralee, you have a blessed day. Warmest regards, KENNETH


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

...and I think this article should be used as a teaching text for males in colleges, globally!!! ):

An excellent read Kenneth, and oh so true.

Up, interesting, useful and awesome!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Ashantina . . .Well, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I never expected such a wonderful comment. I am very humbled by your remark and hope I can live and write in such a manner to live up to your comment. Again, I appreciate YOU, first as a Dear Friend and second, this GREAT comment. Give God the thanks! KENNETH


V Qisya 5 years ago

Wow! You're so right, Kenneth..I love it!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, V Qisya, Love your comment(s) so much. I do appreciate what and how you think, V Qisya. Another's thoughts are a bride-way to harmony, a wiser person said years ago. Have a peaceful night. KENNETH


Claudin_Dayo profile image

Claudin_Dayo 5 years ago from Southeast Asia

Honestly, I haven't read much of articles that is placing an emphasis of considering our sides as well the way that you do.. . and I was like, I'd like to let the Lord hand me a man who posses these qualities (or he must read this lol) anyways thank you so much for this, I had a great time reading this hub :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

11/25/2011

Dear Claudin_Dayo, a humble THANK YOU for your sweet comments. You made my night with your refreshing honesty. And The Lord WILL deliver to you, the man who The Lord has prepared for you. I will NOT forget your kindness. Peace and love to you. Kenneth


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Good advice -- seems it all really boils down to people skills used in a loving way.

me..... I'm comfortable single so maybe I best not read this a third time... twice may have already jeopardized my freedom LMAO


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Neil, you are quite the 'reader between the lines.' Yes, people skills, that men do NOT know how to use. I mean most men, not all. Thanks for your input and come back when you can stay longer and give me some writing tips. I would appreciate it.


Seek-n-Find profile image

Seek-n-Find 5 years ago from Illinois

Thank you! It's nice for a man to write something like this. One thing you might add that would help men to help their relationships is this: Emotional Responding! When a woman brings emotion, men should respond with emotion, not logic! If I say something like, "Husband, I'm sad that we didn't get to go on our date tonight," he should NOT respond by saying, "Well Wife, you know that we didn't have the money and you said you were tired too etc...." He should respond to her emotion with emotion by saying something like, "Wife, I'm sorry to hear that your sad," Or "It makes me sad that you are sad" etc. Every time my husband uses this skill, I calm down, no matter how riled up I may get, because I feel he is listening and that he cares about how I feel. :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Seek-n-Find....EXCELLENT advice. Now, I wish I had included your input in the original hub. Thanks for your advice. And if men would learn to just make and KEEP eye-contact with their girlfriends or wives, and NOT divide their attention between the girls and a football game they, the men, are watching, things might be more peaceful. I am not advocating that men be TOO sensitive, women do not like that, Ive been told, but sensibly-attentive. Right? And I personally practice the "I Will Listen, But You Talk" to the females I know in my life. They seem to like that. But NOT when I blurt out in mid-conversation, "Hey, did you see that ad on tv last night for the hot-air oven?" This bites. And makes me look stupid. And I DO NOT use such lines anymore. Thanks for your super-input!


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

This is highly credible and Spectacular. I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Had me smiling away ;)

This should make a hubpages DAY Top Hub!

Keep up the good work.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

12/9

Hi, ladyjojo, you are way too kind to me. I thank God Himself, for you and your comments as well as YOUR hubs that bless me and others. Top Hub? Wow. I wouldn't know how to act. Thanks and you have a great weekend.

Kenneth


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

Same to you Kenneth ;)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU, ladyjojo.

And please, KEEP the great hubs coming--no telling at the lives you will touch.

Seriously.

Kenneth


jeyaramd profile image

jeyaramd 4 years ago from Mississauga, Ontario

Its great to hear some honest advice from a man to a man. You have some great advice. A true gentlemen. Sometimes, its great for guys to hear it from guys that being a man doesn't always mean that you have to so macho. You have to be understanding and be willing to give yourself to your spouse. I like the one about dashing to the country club when your wife is upset. Hey, there is a reason that your made those nuptial promises. To stand by her in good and bad times. The country club isn't really supportive. Great hub. Thanks for sharing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, jeyaramd . . .THANK YOU, FRIEND, for your kind remarks. I appreciate it so much. Men, and Im including me, NEED lots of help in the communication area. I hope this does help one man. If that is all it helps, then my hub has served a purpose.

Happy New Year!

Kenneth


wonderingwoolley profile image

wonderingwoolley 4 years ago from Madison, WI

This is a really fantastic hub. You made it insightful and funny, which is challenging, and it doesn't look like you made any women made, which I'm sure you'll agree is never pleasant to be on the other end of. Also, congrats on being married 36 years, that's a super long time, and I hope I'm that lucky. Rated up, for your awesome-ness


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU, wonderingwooley! This is so nice of you to say. Actually, there will never be ANY man know all there is to know about women. YOU should be proud to be in such an illusive-but-magnetic group. Happy New Year and thanks again!!!


theking2020 4 years ago

You said all in the hub. Wow found one of my mistakes right there interrupting at times. I should really work on that one. Very helpful article above all.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thank YOU, king! Your comment is appreciated and well-received. Visit with me often.

Kenneth


Suzie HQ profile image

Suzie HQ 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Hi kenneth's other half . . he is a keeper!!! lol Seriously great article, actually what comes to mind is a bit of Tina "Simply the best . . .better than all the rest" !!!! My hat off to you, so much great content here and so relevant! Voting up, sharing, the works!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Wow-eee, Susie HQ, what a sweet comment! I needed that today in the worst way. Thanks also for the votes and sharing. I am so glad to meet you on Hubs and look for my personal note of thanks in the next few days to thank you properly for following me. This, YOUR following, I take to heart. And very seriously. Plus appreciated a LOT!

Kenneth


Sethughes profile image

Sethughes 4 years ago

Great hub. Extremley helpful to people such as myself! Voted up!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Seth . . .thanks, man. I needed some kind words today. And YOU, keep up the great hub work yourself.

Kenneth


Nyamache profile image

Nyamache 4 years ago from Kenya

Women are different and a man will only realize this when he takes time socializing with them. However, all women need attention. Men make a mistake of not giving them their attention. Giving attention doesn't mean something strange, just being a good listener to whatever she is saying makes her feel that you are giving her the attention she needs.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Nyamache,

I agree 110% with your kind comment. It took me years to realize that women need attention, and that is a GOOD thing, for I CAN give attention. When I was younger, I gave attention to them, but overdid it. Maybe giving of gifts and letters to pretty girls was why I was so lonely most of the time. The girls I wanted didn't want MY attention.

Kenneth


Alaina Smith Cain profile image

Alaina Smith Cain 4 years ago from Akron, Ohio

This is great!!!!!!!!! If only my man would read this and learn a lesson someday. (Fingers crossed.)


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Voted up and across the board. You have the right idea on women and their thinking -- great analysis! I am sharing this one for sure.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, dear Alaina,

Thank YOU so much for your kind comments. I sincerely appreciate YOU for that. And be careful as to not make your man angry . . .just say, "look at what "some" guy wrote about females," and laugh. That way he wont feel singled-out.

Deal?

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Teaches,

Thanks to you for your wonderful comment. And as for me having the right idea on women, I am always going to learn something about women each moment of my life.

That is how God made women. Not to be fully-understood, otherwise they would love the mysterious and loving traits that accompany His second-best creation with Jesus, being the Number One.

Kenneth


lilmissmontana profile image

lilmissmontana 2 years ago from Montana

I think every man needs to read this article. Although all women are very different, as you stated, we all have similar expectations when it comes to men, and many of them fall short, sadly. However, you have seemed to conquer the impossible task of figuring out what women want and what they dislike.

You are very wise and your words are very clear and appropriate. Excellent Hub! Keep up the great work, and I wish you all the success in your writing, and in your personal life!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Wow!

Thank you kindly, lilmissmontana, for your great comment. I feel so cheered-up now I cannot expess it in mere words.

I had forgotten this hub. Thank you for finding it.

Oh, if you are not following me, I invite you to be one of my followers. I would love that.

Take care and stay sane.

K.


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 19 months ago from Dallas Texas

I WISH YOU COULD PACKAGE THIS INFORMATION AND TEACH IT AS A CLASS. GREAT ADVICE. IF MORE MEN FOLLOWED IT THERE WOULD BE FEWER BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS. OH, AND US LADIES SHOULD TAKE THIS ADVICE TO HEART ALSO. EXCELLENT HUB.

CRISS


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Criss,

You are way too kind to me. I feel this way due to my mom raising me and I was closer to her than to my dad. No knock on him, but he was away sometimes working to feed us. And he was a stern man and he meant what he said.

I loved him very much. But my mama always knew what I was troubled.

Hey, Criss, come back anytime.


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 2 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

Great article,

I wish my husband would read it, but it looks like mostly women are reading this!

Love it.

Namaste


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 weeks ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Jannet,

I am very glad, first of all, that your husband is now 110% yours body and soul. I mean it.

But, and I am not a love expert, it sounds like you have an insecurity in some area of yourself that always surfaced when your husband's friend would be around.

I take your side with being concerned that when she was around his attention was on her. A moderate hello and chat, then he should have been at your beck and call. Am I old fashioned? A little.

But this is called "Marital Respect."

I was going to suggest that you get yourself a male friend and JUST be friends with him and if your husband gets worried, just politely, not smart alecky, tell him, "you can have a female friend, so why can't I have a male friend?"

But since he has ceased all communications with the girl, forget my last slice of wisdom.

I wish you well.

Kenneth

P.S. thanks so much for your reading and commenting.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 weeks ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Deborah,

"Thank you kindly, dear friend, for your sweet comment that was much-appreciated."

"This is the first hub that I have had more than six comments. Thank God for you and the rest of those who left comments."

Please stop by anytime.

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