The 12 Worst Places, Events, To Give Your Girlfriend a Diamond Ring
Isn't she lovely? She looks like a dream with two gorgeous legs and a perfect figure. She sure loves you, buddy, for she has dated you for over six months.
And you love her. That's for sure.
Now it's time for giving her an expensive diamond ring, a token of your love forever.
Things will go great. Even perfect, if you do not give the ring to her in any of these 12 places or events listed below.
Guys, "this" is THE Ultimate Goal
PHOTOS OF PERFECT PLACES, ATMOSPHERE, TO GIVE YOUR GIRL A DIAMOND RING
We start with . . .
#12. While being run out of town for embezzlement. And all the while she thought it you were a successful C.P.A. because you gave her lavish gifts on most every date.
#11. When you and her decide it would be a great day for some "dumpster diving."
#10. During a fist-fight with her brother who you called "sissy," for having a tattoo on his right arm. Turns out the tattoo was for being accepted into Seal Team Six.
#9. When you accidentally leave your car engine running and get out to open her door for her.
#8. When a reckless driver hits a mud puddle wide-open splashing nasty water and mud all over her pretty silk dress.
#7. You get into another fist-fight with a waiter in your favorite restaurant simply because you "thought" he was gay and made some disparaging remarks and he heard you.
#6. When you are confessing that you still have feelings for "Fast Freida," the captain of the cheer leading squad when you were a senior in high school over 25 years ago.
#5. As her pet dog, "Softy," lays into you and bites a piece of flesh out of your left leg.
#4. On a harvest-time hayride at your church and you accidentally cause her to fall out of the hay wagon onto the cold ground, and forget that she is even gone.
#3. When you clumsily-spill hot beef stew onto her lap when you are celebrating your sixth-year of dating.
#2. Instead of staying at home with her and having a quiet weekend, she overhears you tell the guys that you "can't wait to get out of town and do some bar-hopping."
And the #1 All-Time, Worst Time to Give Your Girlfriend a Diamond Ring is . . .
when she accidentally opens the bathroom door in your apartment and sees the inflatable doll that your prankster buddy, "Todd, the Perv," left there last night at a wild, drunken party "Todd," threw in your honor for being the first of the gang to "tie the knot."
And as The Beatles said . . ."Oh Bla De, Oh Bla Da, life goes on . . ."
"This" CAN Be YOU, Guys If . . .
More by this Author
For ages men have tried every conceivable way to not only attract, but keep girls when they get their attention. Sometimes being clumsy, a natural force of life, can do the trick.
(Just) talking about meddlers and busy bodies is not enough. It is time I did something about them.
To Emmett Kelly.