The Completed Dating Profile

Forgot to mention this talent
Forgot to mention this talent
Starship Captain
Starship Captain
Place tequila in blender......
Place tequila in blender......
Grew them myself!
Grew them myself!
Saftey first with power tools
Saftey first with power tools
I can fix anything!
I can fix anything!

Just be honest and have fun!

A good online profile comes from the heart. It is honest and uninhibited. It's fun, upbeat, and tells all. The more clearly you define your exact wants and needs, the better chance you have of finding the perfect mate. You can also avoid many of the pitfalls involved in all dating - but certainly online dating - by being honest.

Okay, here's the hard part. First you have to be honest with yourself. Decide exactly what you want and don't want, then boldly write it down. Don't be scared! You wouldn’t want to settle for less than "It All" anyway, would you? So shoot for the stars. But from here on in, you're on your own; I can't help you decide what those thing are.

None of us likes rejection and it isn't the best thing for the ego. Avoid a rebuff whenever you can by first and foremost being honest. Listing exact standards will alert potential connections to major conflicts ahead of time. Like "does not want children,” "loves the country life and will never leave," "no extreme religious views" and so on. If those things bother them and they don't write, so what? You won't even know they read your so you won’t feel any rejection.

More important, though, know your own worth. Remember the beauty of having differences is that not everyone wants the same things! There is plenty for all, just make it easy on yourself by going for exactly what you want.

It may seem like this will cut back on prospective dates, but who wants to go on a lousy date anyway?

HAVE FUN! LAUGH! LIGHTEN UP. IT'S JUST A DATING SITE, after all. Your entire existence does not revolve around how many folks write to you. You’ve heard you should smile on the phone because the people on the other end can feel it. Well, this is the same. If you’re happy, they'll feel it. If you’re sad, scared, miserable, they will know. You wouldn't want a grouchy, unhappy, whiny, insecure date would you? You can tell when you read someone’s profile - and they can, too.

GOOD LUCK! YOU'LL DO GREAT!

Here’s my own profile

USER NAME: 1964human

Location: Dog Patch [this is one of the few places you may bend the truth if your town is small]

AGE: 45

PROFESSION: Star Ship Captain (same as above)

I am bored in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, almost another planet! I actually live in a town outside of Dog Patch (the name is changed to protect the guilty), but with a population of about 42, I’m opting for a tiny bit of anonymity.

Looking for some friends, conversation and fun. Dancing would be great. However, we may have to leave the state for that; I think it must be illegal in Kansas. I've been here four years and haven’t ever actually seen anyone do it.

I am down to earth, I love the simple things in life. I am very honest and generally say what's on my mind (but would never intentionally say anything cruel to ANYONE). The beauty of getting older is the wisdom, patience, maturity, and tolerance that you gain while doing it! I am confident, self reliant, capable, and independent.

I am compassionate almost to the extreme. I love animals, but dogs are my all-time favorites! I am of at least average intelligence (although spelling has never been my strong suit). I have a good sense of humor and don't take myself too seriously. I can easily laugh at myself. Speaking of which, I love to laugh. One of the most important things I’m looking for in you is a great sense of humor. Laughing is my favorite thing to do, I can never get enough.

I would call myself average. I'm tall, weight/height proportionate, brown eyes, brown skin (tan fairly dark in the summer); I have long legs and a long waist, but small chest and my feet are too big. All in all, I clean up pretty good and am in fine shape for my age.

I've never had a relationship that ended on bad terms. I am loyal to a fault and if I cared once, I care forever. My compassion and understanding will always come before some sort of ego-filled, self-serving need or want.

I have a TON of good qualities, but I am a VERY long way from perfect. I’m just alerting you now so don't say I didn't warn you. I have it in writing that you have been fully informed of my imperfect state!

I hate to disappoint you, but if you are looking for sex without love, you won't find it here. I have old-fashioned views about sex.

I love the outdoors, from the mountains to the beach. I like working in my garden and playing with my dogs. I love to travel. I love the water. I like to read, some TV and movies (but I'm selective). I don't like violence, fighting, or anything that promotes them.

I'm the kind of girl who can replace the water pump (or any number of other parts) on the car, cook a good meal, embroider, knit, and crochet. I know how to can food and make jelly. I can put up a fence and chain up my own car in the snow. I can wear jeans or a dress.( I'm pretty sure I can dig up a dress out of the trunk in the attic if you really want me to).

I can run a blender and a chain saw. I can be strong as an oak tree or soft as a kitten.

I'm a low maintenance kind of girl.

Favorites

· My favorite movies are "What the Bleep Do We Know," "Down The Rabbit Hole," and "The Secret". If you have seen them and love them you’ve really got my attention.

· My favorite book is "The Pillars of the Earth." My favorite TV shows are anything on the History Channel, Discovery or Science channel, but I also love shows like Psych, Eureka, and Monk.

· My fascinations are with quantum mechanics and science in general. I consider myself spiritual, not religious.

· My favorite sayings are from Jimmy Hendrix, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace,” and an unknown author, “Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you’ve never been hurt!"

· My favorite music is classic rock but I like lots of different types of music, usually depending on my mood.

· I really like to dance (did I already mention that?) and to look at the stars through a telescope.

Let's be friends and see what happens!

Thanks for stopping by! Hope to hear from you soon.

FIRST DATE:

I think a first meeting should be very casual, a cup of coffee in an upbeat atmosphere, but I'm easy to get along with and open to suggestions. Dinner? Are you crazy? What if I get food stuck in my teeth, dribble sauce down my shirt, or knock over my glass? If you really want to, I'll carry a pocket mirror and check my teeth regularly. I won't wear white and I'll set my glass way back on the table. I could wear a bib but I wouldn't want to embarrass you. Don't worry - I always use silverware in public and can guess the salad fork by the second try.

PLEASE SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS!

Bo

Comments 44 comments

woofmom 7 years ago

4 paws up!!!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Good profile, be careful that you are saying you like 'fun' though, as the sickos out there intentionally misread it. For them, 'fun' means being a nymphomaniac and even though later on you said you had old-fashioned views on sex. It won't put them off, maybe just change their approach slightly. Sorry, lol, online dating has made me very cynical!


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Oh my gosh Cindy, I read it and I can see how a frisky thinker could take that as one of those hidden sexual inuendos! I changed it IMEADEATLY. Thank you so much for looking out for me. I really appriciate it. It is nice to have your voice of experience to help guide me. Thank you also for taking the time to read it.

Bo


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

lol I love that, frisky thinker! Unfortunately most men on the online dating sites are frisky thinkers. You do get the odd few who aren't.


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

OKAY. I love you Hubs...I have not seen such nice Hubs in a long time...LOL.. I have written a few similar Hubs, that i feel you must read in order to to be up to speed 100%. Up to you. :)


ottogrimes7452 7 years ago

Great hub :) Any luck with the profile yet..?


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Paulkoson,

Thank you very much. Cute picture is that you? Laughter is one of the few things you can divide and yet get a sum of more. Have a great day!

ottogrimes7452,

Thank you,

I do not know if it is the profile or some sort of computer glich, but my inbox is full all the time. I'm hoping it's the profile but I suspect it is actually a glich. (the last one I opened said "Dear Bubba, you are the man of my dreams...)


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Well, you have me hooked. ha Too bad I'm married, your profile is just my type. hey, I need a brakeline changed on my pickemup and I have my own chainsaw too. You're quite the catch. Pest is single, but he needs shaved first and deflead, haha


pertibha321 profile image

pertibha321 7 years ago from india

thats really a nice hub and after reading your profile i am feeling why i am not a man?

nice hub dear


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

C.C. about your brakes, I will need year and model, unless you already picked up the parts. About Pest, I just got back from the local pet shop. I bought a big thing of flea powder and a pair of clippers, can you hook us up? Of coursew it is such a shame you are married, I love a man who owns his own chain saw! (please insert the Tim Taylor grunt here)


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

I don't know why I didn't get a notification for this hub?! Oh well, glad I caught it on hubtivity. So you can run a blender and a chain saw and you're low maintenance. I can't see how you won't get somewhere with that. Laugh!


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Reminds me of the advertisement I saw for a man looking for a woman...went something like: Looking for a woman who loves to fish, must be able to dig worms. Must have a boat and motor. Please send picture of boat.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

My truck is a F1504x4 Eddie Bauer Supercab with Lightning Engine with truck nutz hanging off the hitch. I only can wish we could have hooked up many years ago when I was a catskinnner. woo-hoo. I think now RB may be the one, I'll send Pest tho' with his tractor, but he'll need to get rid of momma. haha RB is hot after ya and he is so thankful, he has 69 reasons to be that way. hehe I think he's full of it myself


ottogrimes7452 7 years ago

C.C don't be lustin and hatin at the same time, doesn't make you look pretty.. ;)

The girl is a catch for sure.. some white knight on a shining horse will be coming along in no time to snatch her up..

Let's just cheer from the sideline you & I :)


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

That's a beautiful profile, and your humor shines through! I hope you meet some nice men, keep us updated.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

ottogrimes, your voice is kida familiar, haha who you be? fraid all i can do is be sidelined and who's hatin'? I ain't so pretty no more, too much Scotch, hehe


Jeff May profile image

Jeff May 7 years ago from St. Louis

Had online dating been available, I would have enjoyed it too much to settle for a perfect mate. Then again, I'm a guy.


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Elena,

You'd think that would get their attention, but here I sit home alone. I think it may be because I take everything too seriously. Guys like to laugh too, I'm working on improving my sense of humor.

Keri,

Thanks!  I met one that I thought might work out,  he asked me to his place, but turns out he just wanted an old tree cut down.

OttoGrimes and CC,

 You guys know I can hear you right? OttoGrimes don't you be trying to talk my CC into sitting on the side lines! I'm just getting him interested.

I keep waiting for RB to tell me all 69 reasons, starting at the top and working down.

Trying to get Pest's attention, but with him being the hottest hubber and Momma to compete with I don't think I stand a chance.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Bo, where ya been? hidin' from lil ol' me? I missed ye lately.


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC,

I'd never hide from you CC, I'd chase you to the ends of HubPages if I had too. I have just been quite busy, so many men so little time! LOL (don't I wish)

Na I have already worked 48 hours this week and have 2 days yet to go. That will all change with my new found fame, the fortune is SURE to follow.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Oh yes it will, I'm sure of that my dear. feel sexy do ya?


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Well a little, but not quite the same since nobodys seen me in person! LOL


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Well, no need to. here read this quick;

http://hubpages.com/hub/Unrequited-Painters-Dream


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC my darling,

That one melts the heart and captures the soul


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Good. i meant it to be. Why are you so slow tonight? busy, or just tired. Wouldn't blame ya for being tired, I'm beat myself from building new fence

Ooo, she call me darling, woo-hoo


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

Bo!!! What can I say...you are wonderful, and way too sweet!


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC,

I am just jugling a dozen things, I had a lady from work on the phone I was helping get her payroll straightened out. I have a chat box going, and I'm trying to finish another hub, gonna loose all my fans if nothing new pops. I'd not like that a bit. LOL


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

You'll be fine. Just keep in touch now. i'm going to bed shortly. see ya later now. have fun, you'll not lose me as a fan. I'm hooked


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Pest,

Nice to see you. I am honored to have you stop by. How can I best impress you so as not to loose your attention? I was gonna tell you not to worry about me. I'm no gold digger, so your estate is safe. Also the doctor said when he let me out the last time, that if I stay on my meds I would probably never stalk anybody again.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Oh,oh, now pest is in the house. i changed my mind Pest. You can't have her. haha


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

Bo...uhhhh my estate is all that I have...I am enamoured of you!!! Not a gold digger...wow!


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

Oh I amm taking her...or maybe i am letting her take me!


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

Oh Pest,

I'd take you anywhere! Where would you like to go?


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

No you ain't. i saw her first. hehe, an' she likes old catskinners too. hehe watch out or I'll turn into a coonskinner


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC I thought I'd lost you. If you are off to bed, have sweet dreams!


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

You ain't losing me. huh uh. I am off to bed now. email you too


jgrof299 profile image

jgrof299 7 years ago

i like what you got to say about dating


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

jgrof299,

Thanks very much, but I'm not sure how sound the advice is, still sitting home alone. LOL


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO

Name: Imadork

Age: 35

Status: married (I'm hoping for a threesome. That would be sooo cool!)

Occupation: N/A

Hobbies: I usually just sit around on the couch and watch TV.  Every now and then I get up to go to the bathroom or get something to eat or drink.  Is masturbation a hobby?

Looking For: I want a woman to get up and get me something to eat or drink.  That will cut my having to get up off the couch by 50%.  I like my woman to have a pretty face, perfect tits, a nice firm ass, wild in the sack and a good paying job.

Not Looking For: women with opinions and flapping gums, ugly women.

Call me!!!!

 

 


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

iamadork,

I can see by your note you did not pay too close of attention when looking at my profile. If you had, you would have known my chest is too small, leaving me short of your expectations. I do meet a couple of the others should you care to reconsider. I have a high paying job, (I make at least 6000.00 every year), but I don't like to brag.) I won't get up and get you stuff, but I have a dog I trained to do it for me. I could just have him fetch your stuff too. I am a bit older than late 20's but I still have a pretty firm butt. I'm afraid I am also rather opinionated, but I have found if we just get you a good set of ear protection gear we can eliminate most of the problem.

About the ugly part, compared to who? (I'll get back to you with an answer on that one after you respond)

  


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Bo I see the added picture. I s that your nice ass in the tight blue jeans? hmmm? my oh my I could get into them


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC

LOL Thank you very much, it is my nice ass. I warn you though it was about 10 years younger there. The frisbee dog (other hub) is not too old and a decent representation of my current state.

You could get into them, but would they look as good on you?

Bo


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Haha smartass too aren't you. You just know that is not what I meant. But yeah, I have a very nice tush for your info, among other things. LOl


1964human profile image

1964human 7 years ago from Smallville Kansas Author

CC you tease!

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