The "Dark Dreamer"

I've walked this road in my life

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Two dreams of mine for you to unravel

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I lay face down at her garden gate licking her dirt, grit, and filth, choking the last flicker of life from a ragged-edge heart that I never owned.

So this is how it ends. I feel funny, but laughter escapes me.

So this is how it ends. I feel suicidal, but death only teases me.


I guess, now that I don't have anything or anyone to lose, that death's not as bad as some prophets have yelled. Not nearly as dark as some doomed angels whisipered.


And this is her gate. I envisioned it back there as being perfect, white, and clean as a virgin's heart.

So this is how it ends. I feel dark, but my eyes see past her tapestry so evil.

So this is how it ends. I feel no emotion, but my soul cries for her moment.


Life? That's a joke, my judge. I was formed from dust, then forged with honesty and refined by blood, pain, and betrayal.

So this is how it ends. I see you, but never thought you looked like this.

So this is how it ends. I hear you, but your words only penetrate, not save.


From one breath, to the next, to the next, now I can wonder, why exile "my" hopes, wants, and desires from the human stream?

So this is how it ends. I stare at the dirt at my face, but only hunger for "a" taste of your touch.

So this is how it ends. I've completed the trek "you" set before these infant feet, and watched me fall.


From one age to the next, to the next, to the next, I tried, oh God, did I ever try,

to dream the dreams that allies speak, and cheaters seek.

So this is how it ends. A wall, but no door to open.

So this is how it ends. A crowd, but no one alive.


The dreams I had, when I could master them, floated away with wings as fragile as time.

I just sat watching "those" dreams, the fiber of my soul, and tattered hope, fly, fly, and fly to the abyss.

So this is how it ends. I'm not angry, but in "that" one day, I wish I could grasp it once again.

So this is how it ends. To sing her songs, dance under her trees, and see what she sees.


My dreams are dark. Bloody at times, and the stoutest of hearts have cringed, curdled, and even whimpered as baby born.

So this is how it ends. Dreams of dark, but one color, one flashing gold, I barely see.

So this is how ti ends. Darkness in dreams, now embraces my shoulders.


I love the serpent's lure. The dragon's ire. And maiden's eyes. All gone, all just illusions, all lost.

So this is how it ends. What have I to deal with? I feel hungered, but desire just one morsel.

So this is how it ends. Dark dreams, unpenned schemes, and sunshine's redeemed.


Ahhh, proud reality. How royal you are right now.

Ahhh, arrogance. How helpless you are right now.

So this is how it how it ends. Naked, trembling, speaking foolish tongues.

So this is how it ends. Nothing there. Nothing here.


Oh, for more dark dreams that satisfy my soul. That caresses my weak and elderly hands that hold . . .

a dust for her, a word for him, and a vapor left for me.

So this is how it ends. Dark dreams, I cannot hear you anymore.

So this is how it ends. Dark dreams, why can't you reach me now?

It's gone. It's stopped. It's finished.


So this is how it ends.

So this is how it ends.

My life

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Comments 23 comments

writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Wow! Completely raw emotions here, Kenneth. Love how open you are here. Voted up awesome and beautiful!


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

I don't dream. Perhaps that's because I don't sleep long enough at any given time. There's so much to fit into any one day that I can't spare more than three or four hours for sleeping.

I do, however, read poetry. And this is awesome! Voted up and A!


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, my dear friend, this was very different from your usual hubs. Yes, it was "dark" and a little scary. Another side of your writing capabilities... emotional, suspenseful, intense. I give you 2 thumbs up!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

I will think about this hub for a long time. Very sad and dark, but very introspective. I would love to have you write a hub next about the precious moments in your life...the good things. Great hub Kenneth!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Nicely laid out tale. Thank you. I know it is a bit dark, but it echoes a bright warning.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Mixed emotions here and yet so bleak, the dark side of life which most people have walked down at some point in their lives.


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

Deep and dark. The imagery and almost gothic feel make the poem even more insightful. Darkly beautiful and leaves an impression.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. Like walking into a dark void wanting to reach the light on the other side. Gothic and wonderful. Passing this on.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

writinglover,

Thank you, sincerely, for your kind remarks. When I get in one of these moods, I just stare at the screen and my fingers do the rest. I am not joking.

Come by anytime.

Happy Easter.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, LongTimeMother,

I do not get enough sleep as well. That's my fault I guess. When I was able to work, I trained myself, I assume, to stay awake for hours on end at the newspaper where I was employed on the day and night shifts.

I wish I could find a way to catch up.

Stop by anytime.

Happy Easter.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

Thank you for your sweet comment. This IS a side of me that is rarely seen and I get weak at times trying to keep this side of me hid.

But life happens at the most unopportune times.

Love your remark. Thanks.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catgypsy,

Thanks a million for your input and I will do that. Think of a hub with all good things and moments in my life.

Thanks for caring.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MHatter99,

Thank you for your comment too. I can build on what you all have written here. That's how I survive in HP.

I envy your talent, my friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, DDE,

As always, your comments were well-received by yours truly. I appreciate you my friend, for always being there when I need some props.

God bless you.

Happy Easter.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ lupine, catgypsy, and MHatter99,

I apologize to you three friends. I forgot to sign off my replies to you with a Happy Easter.

So forgive me and have a Happy Easter.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Anna Haven,

Love your name. Thanks for being such an honest girl. I appreciate you describing my life a lot better in a few words in your comments than I did in the hub. Wow, what talent.

Happy Easter and would you think about being a follower of mine?

I would love it.

Thanks again for your comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Gypsy Rose Lee,

My dear friend, you are a blessing to this old worn out man. I mean it.

Thanks for this, and all of your nice words.

In you all, I have found such deep and talented friends that I cannot put my appreciation into words.

Happy Easter.

Love you all, Kenneth


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, I didn't know this side of you until this hub, but like I said before, just be yourself. Those of us that are your true friends will understand and still love you, you have to let it out sometimes...I like it.

Happy Easter...best wishes to you and your family.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest lupine,

"Thank you, dear, dear friend, for your treasured friendship and comment."

I mean it. And I will do that. Just for you. Be me.

You ARE a true friend.

Love you lots and I hope you had a happy Easter too.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Thanks! Kenneth, you are always cherished as a true friend and wish you the best of everything. Keep writing...I look forward to it.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear lupine,

Even your comments cheer me up. And today, I needed it. The sun is out here, but the air is cool just like pre-fall, but I glory in the majesty of God who knows all, except failure.

I am so sorry for being late in responding. I have a new gig with a local radio station two to three days a week, but only 3 minutes at a time. A newscast I do from my house on my PC with a new WaveMonitor . . .its great. I even have two sponsors, but I AM NOT LEAVING HUBPAGES.

Where would I be without the friendship of a true literary genius, LUPINE?

That's you. My dear, dear ally.

Take care and do not forget to write.

KENNETH


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, I realize you are busy when you take longer to reply and know you will write back. I'm really happy for you, that you are doing the radio gig...wish I could hear it! Congratulations. Please keep doing your hubs, I look forward to them...you are a unique writer. Thank you for the compliments, you make my day too. Your true friend, write anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

I am speechless at your comment. To be honest, you put a lump in my throat. I feel the same way about you, lupine. You are a very trusted friend. Always.

Do not worry. I am going to be here until I cannot draw a breath.

And dear one, YOU are a unique person too.

You are welcome for the truth, what you said were compliments.

My day has been made. I will write and you do to.

:)

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