You come to me at night
When you think I am asleep
Trying to crawl inside of me
In so far deep
You spit your fire and terrorize me
Sustain and paralyze me
You tell me to hush
You will take control
You leave me panicking
Weightless and trapped
Immobilized and empty
You creep up
Slithering scales all around me
A scorpion's rage
The prey you seek
Can never satisfy you
This poem could have many meanings. I was coming from a vulnerable place when I wrote this. As I read it though, it kind of sounds like sexual abuse or some kind of haunting. I never saw a ghost so I don't really know if I believe in them even though when I went on vacation to New Orleans some weird stuff happened.
There was a point in my life where I was having a series of nightmares where I was being held down by something. It felt like something was controlling me. I have read about sleep paralysis and it felt different than that. The nightmares would scare me like nothing I've ever felt before. I didn't know why I was having them. A lot of those nightmares came after a boyfriend of mine and I had a fight. It was a crazy relationship. There was a lot of abuse and secrets in that relationship. Sometimes it felt really good and normal and felt like I was really in love and everything was fine. Then there were times where it just killed me.
After these dreams, I always felt scared like there was something there watching me. It was a bad feeling and I felt like it was playing with me. The dreams always came in similar patterns. I would always be in bed in the dream in a room I would be sleeping in so it felt real. Sometimes I would be sleeping next to a person I was trying to wake up and they never woke up. Then the force would come down on me and hold me down. A couple of times right before it let me up it did a playful squeeze on my leg. A few times only a knife would be up to my throat holding me down. And a couple times there was a hand that looked as if it was coming down on me. In two dreams - the first two I had, something was pulling on my arm trying to pull me off the bed.
There were some really scary ones which really disgusted me too. In one whatever was holding me down was trying to have sex with me. In another one, it showed itself as a little bald dwarf like in the movie Sin City. It told me to hush and then it was trying to stick needles in me. Then one that freaked me out the most was where I was sleeping at a friend's house and after I had a fight with that boyfriend fell asleep and ended up waking up in the bathtub with my clothes on in about three inches of water. I had a couple drinks that night, but nothing that would make me act as crazy as sitting in the bathtub in water. I was also pretty sober when I went to sleep.
Another dream was pretty bad where I was in a room, heard water dripping outside. Heard someone calling my name outside and from this little receipt machine came out a letter with all of these images. On it read, " You should be a prostitute." Then I was held down on the bed again and finally when I got really scared it let up with the squeeze on my leg again and I woke up feeling scared.
I haven't had one in awhile, so I'm happy. I am not saying this was a ghost, because I don't know if I believe in them like I said. All I know is that these were the scariest dreams I've ever had. I would love to know if any of you ever had one like this or anything similar.
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