A Happy First Year of Marriage- Three Secrets From a Newlywed
My husband and I have been married almost 11 months. It's been a rough year full of uncertainty pertaining to our careers, the death of dear pet, and the usual in-law drama. However, we are more in love then ever. I don't claim to have all the answers, but here are a few simple things that I think have made our relationship happier.
Just Say No
There is always someone who wants something from you.
- Your professor wants the latest draft of that paper.
- Your boss wants you to finish that last report.
- Your mother-in-law wants her lawn mowed.
- Your best friend needs to vent about their latest relationship problems.
The list goes on. If you're not careful, a week flies by and you realize you haven't spent any time with your partner outside of the few hours of sleep you manage to get. This is no way to live. While I'm not suggesting you shirk your work and familial responsibilities entirely, balance is essential not only for your own sanity, but for the maintenance of a healthy relationship with your significant other. Don't be afraid to say no when you're invited to a party or dinner with the in-laws. There will be other parties!
Doing stuff together whether it be cuddling on the couch watching old movies or going on a crazy hiking adventure will bring you closer together!
Just Say Something
You've heard it before, and you're about to hear it again. Communication is key to a healthy marriage. If you feel you're not getting any help around the house, let your partner know. They may not realize you're feeling overwhelmed. A simple "will you the dishes this time" is all that it might take to get the help you need.
No one can read minds. By being open with one another, you can often work out issues before they become full fledged problems. Holding in your feelings will only lead to frustrations for both you and your partner who will have no idea why you've suddenly become a mopey, brooding version of yourself.
Just Say Yes
Being in a relationship is all about compromise, unless you've somehow managed to find and marry an exact version of yourself. She might be pining to watch the next episode of Glee while he is dying to watch some sports game. You have several options.
- Two televisions= no time spent together
- Glee= he grumbles the whole time about how unrealistic it is for characters to break out into song randomly
- Sports= she complains about how boring it is to watch a ball move on the screen for two hours
There is another option that allows you to both be happy and together. It's a lesson my mom taught me when I was eight, and my sisters and I all wanted to play something different. Take turns!!
Give and take is essential for both people to be happy in a marriage. Saying yes when your significant other wants to do something you don't particularly enjoy will make them so happy they will be more willing to try something for you.
Marriage is hard work, but if you're with the love of your life, it's one of life's greatest adventures!!
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