For Guys and Gals: The Little Hook - Your online dating profile

Paradigm Online

How to create an online dating site profile which works

My system for creating a profile is very simple but it works. Maybe it works just because it's so simple. There are no fancy words or subliminal tricks like you see on a lot of male profiles. It's honest, interesting and forces the woman to evaluate you and see if you fit her wants and desires in the shortest amount of time. But what about the profile pictures? Hold your horses Big Fella, I'll cover them in a later article. Just take this on board first.

Here's the basic formula - Marketing 101 (with online dating, you're marketing yourself - yes indeed):

1. Here's what I got

2. Here's what it'll do for you

3. Here's what I want you to do next

Simple, huh? You can use a single paragraph for each of the three points and she'll still get a good idea of who you are and be able to decide whether she wants to share time with you. 

Let's drill down a little deeper. 

Here's what I got. Let me rephrase that into - "Here's Who I am". Simple statement with a lot of potential power behind it. To harness that power properly it is necessary for you to Know Yourself! I'll cover that in a later article as well.  

So just what HAVE you got? 

  • What do you like doing? 
  • What would you say is your defining characteristic?  
  • What are your goals or dreams? 
  • Who are you looking for? 

Those are the questions to ask yourself. 

Here's a single paragraph example:

"Hi my name is Paradigm. I'm goal-oriented, adventurous, fit and active. I work as a freelance writer which gives me the opportunity to tell others about my passion, vintage menswear. There's something about being able to look and feel like Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart from the Golden Era, something that we seem to have lost in this day and age. I love the outdoors and when I'm not playing Tarzan I also enjoy the finer things in life. If I had to describe myself in a single word it would be 'enigmatic' - seriously, if you have to look 'enigmatic' up in a dictionary, please don't contact me. My major goal at the moment is to find that one perfect woman for me and settle down to raise a family."  

Here's what it will do for you. I'll rephrase that into - "How would being with me make your life better?" At then end of the day, a woman is going to contact you or accept your contact because in some way she feels that knowing you or being with you is going to make her life better. It doesn't matter if she sees you as a potential friend, potential spouse or as a potential lover. If she won't be "better" for having known you, what's the point?

Here's a single paragraph example:

"I'm looking for someone who's fun - outrageously fun, but someone who also enjoys the quiet times. Someone who's ready to settle down and enjoy life in an equal partnership. I can guarantee you good times and deep conversation with a down to earth guy who's an open book. Even if we don't "click" you'll have found yourself a potential best friend"

 Here's what I want you to do next. I'll rephrase that to "I want you to contact me". This is where you can specify any conditions and you can also add a little bit of playfulness by specifying a subject line.

Example paragraph:

"You've looked me over and you think I might be a bit of all right. If you think you'd be a match for me then you know what to do - hit the "Contact Paradigm" button. I want to make sure that you've actually read my profile, so please use "Go to hell" as your subject line. I'll keep an eye out for your email." 

Now guys, the above examples have been booby trapped to make sure you don't use cut and paste them. Cutting and pasting for a profile is bad juju and the Online Dating Gods will smite you if you used "canned" material.

A couple more profile tips:

  • Don't be negative in your profile. Concentrate on what you like and what you're looking for rather than what you don't like and what you're not looking for. No one wants to date a grouch.
  • Don't lie in your profile. Remember, if you've done your work properly you're going to be meeting people who are attracted to your profile. Do not start a relationship with a lie. You'll get caught out. Just be yourself.
  • Spend some time on your profile. Identify exactly what you want out of the dating sites and go with it. You're more likely to connect with a woman subconsciously if you have a clear idea about what you want. 

Future articles will include info and advice on your profile photos, emailing, interviews with hot women from Plenty Of Fish and more. If you'd like a sneak peek, come on over to my blog Online Paradigm - Online Dating For Men. You'll see the link below. 

Have fun and good luck. 

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jgw899 profile image

jgw899 6 years ago from Santa Cruz

Great structure

Paradigm_Online profile image

Paradigm_Online 6 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks jgw899, it's simple but it works.


Dallas Dating Man 6 years ago

Great Hub! I support knowledge for all.

Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Great tips for sure. Love what you said about lying and negativity. Now, have to see what you said about that profile pic.

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