The Masquerade is Over.....Love Who You Are.

"My marriage is perfect!"

That's quite a statement but we may initially tend to think this woman could be delusional. Is she perhaps attempting to convince herself? Those words sound like a mantra, used to brainwash or hypnotize.

On the other hand, I suppose it could be true. A perfect marriage? I don't know what you may be thinking but I'm a little skeptical. Call me crazy. Wouldn't a perfect union require two perfect human beings?

I think I know why a woman might say this. After all, lonely, neglected wives have a right to their fantasies. Life can be cruel. The day to day of marriage, children, responsibilities with hubby working long takes a toll. A woman clings to her dreams and makes it her public image no matter how untrue. Can she make it seem real? She will give it her best effort. This secret is her very own. No one knows the truth but her. She doesn't care about the truth.

The self-described Romeo

Mr. Love-Machine, the guy who lives to share the tales of his conquests. He has an enviable little black book of women who sit by the phone longing to hear the sound of his voice. They all want him. He'll bed dozens of women this month. His prowess is his pride. You needn't inquire.
He will gladly tell you all about it. They don't call him, "stud muffin," for naught.

We know better. This pathetic fellow has not had a date in a very long time. The last time he was with a woman, she excused herself to go home and watch "Desperate Housewives." His Valentino mask doesn't fit but he'll never give it up. It's all he has. He longs to be a Romeo and if need be, he'll create his own scenarios and invisible lovers.

Neither of these sad and lonely people are hurting anyone with their facades, are they? Not really. Although their masquerades may fool some or garner sympathy from others, it's all really harmless.

Music: "I Live a Lie"

$$$$$ built our home
$$$$$ built our home
Is your life plastic?
Is your life plastic?

The Successful JONES Family

Forty thousand dollar vehicles, lavish home, exotic vacations, it appears like a dream come true. "The Joneses", they know how to live. He makes a fortune. They have it all. Their children go to private schools, while Mr. and Mrs.rub elbows with the elite. This family is the envy of the community. Everybody wants to be the Joneses.

Don't believe it? But you must. It's so vital to the Joneses for you to envy them and be in awe of their success. They live for the thrill of the high life, whatever the cost, so to soothe their fragile egos. Country club membership, expensive silk suits, CEO status....riding high in the sky.......Mr & Mrs Jones are literally giddy with their image of outrageous wealth.

Shall we look a bit closer? Inside the walls of that stately mansion.... in the office on the desk. There we might find the foreclosure notice from the bank.

Mrs. Jones who sips on her wine as she wipes away tears, stares helplessly at her broken Hero. She wonders how they will face the neighbors once the truth is exposed. How will they explain to their pampered children that the party may be over?

This is not the picture they had hoped to create.... but a sad and grim one instead. Soon the castle walls will tumble and leave debris where the Jones family once lived their lies.

These three examples of the masks that people wear are more common than you may think. Look around you, listen closely. Before you fall prey to the fabrications of the self-created images of those who display their creations for envy. ......consider what we cannot know and how the truth is hidden. Spend no more of your precious life looking here and there to covet someone's fantasy.
Focus your vision toward the beauty of your authenticity and be grateful for all you are and all you have. Look no further than your own realities. Let nothing blurr the picture of the pure and simple truth.

In order to go beyond what meets the eye, into the hard core realities in the lives of others, it takes time and a degree of common sense. We need to ask ourselves if what appears to be, can be a reasonable actuality. This may not be an easy task but is vital in effort. Do not begin to tear your own life to shreds on the false premise of the lives of others. This is a one way street that leads to a dead end.

The wondrous gifts of life, peace, happiness and the heights of success come from within and shine through without theatrics. No need to perform before an audience of the envious. Simple truth and love of self and one another are the things that matter....the things that bring us magic. Applause and admiration are not required. Have no need to share the stage nor bend to take a bow. Wear no mask and memorize no lines. Who was it that said, "Life is not a dress rehearsal, but it is Opening Night each and every day. The actual LIVE Show, in all it's glorious reality."

Embrace your life. Wear no mask and speak no lies. Be proud and be glad. Know that boasting and facades are for pretenders who feel they are not worth loving,.... just as they are.

The Single most BEAUTIFUL Song ever. Listen and be overwhelmed

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The people I love are their AUTHENTIC Selves

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fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You really got me to thinking about this activity....because what is interesting to me is the fact that I can watch a movie any number of times and enjoy it each & every time.....but apparently, I never thought to re-read a book, even if I thought it was great.

I just watched "Law Abiding Citizen," with Gerard Butler......for about the 8th. time! Strictly for the aerobics heart rate factor!!.........LOL

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

It's a first for me. Actually second. I read a Danielle Steel book twice. I've heard so many people say that they've read Harry Potter over and over and over...I thought what the heck, I'll give it a try, but it'll be Jackie Collins, not Harry :)

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

There are very few books I have ever read over again.......except of course, certain reference books or facts & info. At the moment, the only one I can think of that I have read more than once, is, "God on a Harley." It's a short read, but it's powerful and I read it when I need my spirit lifted!...........

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

I mentioned it 19 months ago and I'm finally re-reading the series! Haha!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Vinaya &

vnsatakopan..................I appreciate your input! You are both, very wise men. Thank you for gracing us with your opinions.

vnsatakopan profile image

vnsatakopan 3 years ago from Chennai, India

Great hub. Your life is yours. Outsiders have no role in determining what you should be.

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

Maybe, I was wrong on my previous comment. I see women in two ways, one you honor them because they are the divine feminine, two, you worship them because they are the source of procreation.

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ThomasWard1 3 years ago

I really enjoy reading and also appreciate your work.

masquerade masks

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Vinaya.....Good to see you and glad you enjoyed this.....Just because you are not married, Vinaya...doesn't mean you "know nothing"'re SMART enough to stay single!!! LOL

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I know nothing about conjugal life, even so about women. I enjoyed reading your perspective.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you so much, HO. "The time of my life,".....has the most glorious ring to it, does it not? I am with you, my peer.

Meeting you has been a bit of a splash of cold water for me. I realize that I need to get out into our treasured community a bit more often and spread my wings. I'm sure there are many lovely & talented writers, I have yet to meet. The start of our New Year will be the start of my new adventure!......Thanks for the visit. I love company. :)

hawaiianodysseus profile image

hawaiianodysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

Effer...and yes, you may call me HO... : )

I love the liberation of being 60 years old and five months into my seventh decade of life.

Two reasons...

It took way too much energy trying so hard to be someone or something else for so many people.

I'm having the time of my life being who I really am.

I love what you've shared here in this hub. You and your innate talent for picking such a universal topic and presenting it in a way that throws cold water on me and yet nurtures my soul is yet one more reinforcement of why I love HubPages so much!

Here's a promise...our literary paths shall cross again!

Best wishes for continued success here on HP and beyond!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

I'm pleased you enjoyed my Masquerade hub.....good timing...Halloween just over! I really become weary seeing through the facades most people hold in front of them... I want to say....."Just be real. It's OK, really it is."..........

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lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Excellent hub.. Very well-said. "Embrace your life. Wear no mask and speak no lies. Know that boasting and facades are for pretenders, who feel they are not worth loving,.... just as they are. " You are so right! Mr. Love Machine.. Lol. Do you know how many people brag about this? And how about women who say my husband would never cheat on me! Well, you just never know in this day and age.

Escobana profile image

Escobana 4 years ago from Valencia

"Wear no mask and speak no lies."

A beautiful way to go through life but a hard one to follow if you can't embrace life in the middle of depression.

I often read to exceptional Hubs like yours and feel blessed for understanding the message you portray. I moved on and got well.

I do however know from experience, messages like these don't reach the really depressed and lonely people. If they could only 'feel' your message, stop pretending they're fine or trying to fit in, if they don't feel they do....

The world would be a better place to live in.

I'm glad to have met YOU through a great interview on Hubpages!

Following, up, shared and awesome!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author's all cool...just don't let it happen again. please.

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

My apologies for being late in remembering!!! :))

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Ms Tarrah...Bless your heart....and may you continue to be blessed with happiness and peace of mind. We do have so much to be grateful for, if we embrace life for all that it is, and remember to give back.

MsTarrah profile image

MsTarrah 4 years ago

You hit the nail on the head with this one! I have seen this all too many times. I do my best to stay focused on my blessings. It just yields a happy grateful life. I voted this up and awesome :)

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author are definitely on to the phonies! I like to let them talk non-stop, as I listen and smile.

Tillie....Didn't Charlie Pride sing that? I asked SS the SAME question about reading Jackie Collins in her teens.....I was still reading "Nancy Drew," the day before I got married, I think!!


Well! It's about time time you remembered my birthday!!

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Hi tills, I was actually 17 yrs old. I've been in the mood to re-read the books since Effer wrote this hub. I will have to start with "Chances" and then "Lucky"...etc. Jackie Collins taught me a LOT! :)

Happy Birthday Effer!:)

tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

Effer, excellent! As my mother and the old country song used to say "nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors". Then there is Aesop, "The smaller the mind the greater the conceit". As I have said, those who make the most noise have the least to brag about.

BTW, Jackie Collins in your teens SS?

bizwin profile image

bizwin 4 years ago from England, UK

Voted up, useful, awesome, interesting, what have i forgotten there, funny. Not far from the truth. Thanks for sharing. Don't forget, these people want to hear you say, 'you are so lucky, i wish i'm like you'. Ah ah, wishful thinkers.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Savanah....and I think you are correct......we humans can have a tendency to create what is our heart's desire, from a current situation that doesn't quite meet our expectations Depending on how far we take this and how often, it be harmless at times. In general it becomes a negative habit that is transparent to those around, it's best to just be real and honest. Thank you for your input. I appreciate the visit.

savanahl profile image

savanahl 4 years ago

I think these people put up this front not just out of embarrassment of the truth but maybe this is what they really want. I can remember being one of these people with my first husband. I was the first to tell you of my "perfect" marriage. It's a sad place to be and I empathize with those people. Great hub. Voted up.

Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 4 years ago from Virginia

I feel I have a happy solid marriage but it has its ups and downs....but overall we are luckily we do not fall into any of these people...but we know lots of people that do fall into those groups....and have known more than a few that are no longer together....a very thought provoking hub that is very well written.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Marcy....Hello and thank you for visiting me. We all know these people and should be grateful. They teach us much. Mostly, they teach us true gratitude and humility. Stop by again!

Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Oh, gosh - I know these people! Do we live in the same city or something? Fun hub - true, but funny! Thanks for the entertaining read!

PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 5 years ago from Florida


You made some good points and I enjoyed reading your hub.

I have friends who brag about their life--and I just tune them out as best as I can--because I know better.

However, it seems to help them to talk--as if they are conviencing themselves. And because I listen and make no comments--I just smile and let them talk, they are so happy when they finish.

Yes, the human race is strange--and I have dealt with people on all levels. Therefore, I can appreciate your hub--and thanks for writing it.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

tsmog....Hey...welcome back. You can visit as often as you like. You and I have something in common....if we continue to think about something, we begin to come up with various angles to the slant.....this is GOOD. Proves we can be open-minded and thoughtful! Thanks so much! You are a very deep thinker. Peace!

tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hello fpherj48, I read this again. Having spend a week on vacation sorting my mind out I realize how close to home this hub hits. What is behind those doors of the perceived well-to-do is equal in a sense, when it comes to emotions fueled by worry, what-ifs, and what do I do nows.

I think you touched on the fragile part of self-esteem and holding it all together. Not partial to gender we may be seeing leaders becoming followers in these times you have addressed. I dun'no?

Apologizing for he wordiness, yet I thought to share, once more. Thank you again for a thought provoking hub.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Frank......Male bashing? Of course not! Maybe braggart bashing...but no male bashing going on here, my friend. Give me one good reason why a mother of four sons would bash males!...........Oh, OK, never mind. Thanks Frank. Glad you stopped by even if you refused to participate!! LOL

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

Is this Male Bashing? LOL kidding good hub but let me not leave a comment... because if it is male bashing I want no part of it.. up and awesome though wait.. up and awesome is a comment.. please disregard that part..Frank

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

teaches.....Marriage, as well as everything in life, takes creativity and tolerance....and it can be wonderful when two people remain focused on their original goals and purpose.....My intent here was merely to remind us all, that "what we may be seeing and hearing from the OUTSIDE," isn't necessarily as enviable as portrayed. Quite often, as I pointed out...those who carry on and seek attention to their "allegedly perfect lives," are merely fooling themselves. A sense of humility and gratitude is a better treasure. Thanks so much for your comment...and Bless you and your best have reason to feel at peace.

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 5 years ago

Marriage is not just love but a commitment and that takes time, years of ups and downs. My hubby and I are best friends but we still have our disagreements and have to work them out. I think relationships these days are quickly broken without taking time to reflect and communicate thoughts and beliefs. I feel sorry for those beautiful people who live in those great homes but have so much grief within. You are right when you say that we must continue to seek truth. Thanks for the reminder of what love is all about.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Oh Look!! How exciting! Eliza and Sunshine are participating in Oprah's Book Club!! Let me read Jackie's books and I'll join you! Wait for me!! LOL

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Chances was the first book followed by Lucky.

I was in my late teens! :)

ElizaDoole profile image

ElizaDoole 5 years ago from London

Lucky Santangelo! Ah she never bragged, that's why we loved her! Sorry - I've gone back to JC again! What was that book called?

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Well, Hello again, SS....and just what were you doing, reading "Jackie Collins" when just a teen?! Her novels are pretty "steamy," I No wonder you're such a woman of the world!

You mustn't give away all your secrets!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Did I hear Jackie Collins name mentioned? Her books are marvelous! Lucky, Chances and the Santangelo family saga. Jackie's novels got me hooked on reading when I was a teen. Trashy and superb!!! She is Joan Collins (Dynasty fame) younger sister. Thank you for the trip down memory lane. Back to the braggarts. :)

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Eliza...hmmmm, I don't read "Jackie." Maybe I should. Is there really a success FORMULA? The very successful would surely have us believe this. While common sense tells us a formula (or PLAN) is the first step of the goal-oriented, the rest of it is as multi-faceted as the Universe is huge...and powerful. Thank you for your input. I'm off to follow you!

ElizaDoole profile image

ElizaDoole 5 years ago from London

I enjoyed reading this. I think the scenario you described is similar to the success formula underneath the Jackie Collin's blockbuster novels. As soon as we get under the skin of the glitzy ones ... there's trouble in paradise. Voted up!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hi there, Pcunix! Glad you stopped by. I always appreciate the comments of a wise man. What you say is true in many cases. I often wonder what vital aspects of life are being totally lost in the race to be the richest and hoard the most.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

tsmog.....Pleased to have you stop by and comment. I am impressed, as well. Your positive outlook is refreshing.

Sunnie Day....You have understood my message, perfectly. Thank you for helping to make my writing worthwhile.

Lisa HW.....Certainly I am aware of those whose lives are in fact, that which brings them comfort and happiness. Just as you infer, those are the self-assured who don't find it necessary to boast and publicize for the sake of "self-importance."

I reject the attitude that "all families are dysfunctional," as a flippant comment with no weight. Your comment is accurate that it is what we do to deal with the everyday problems that shows our substance and value. I thank you for your input. Peace.

Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 5 years ago from SE MA

I've known too many of the "Jones" type - people who have confused the pursuit of happiness with the pursuit of money. Even if they succeed with the money, they still often end up miserable, surrounded by wealth but miserably unhappy.

Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 5 years ago from Massachusetts

I think what you've presented here is certainly true in a lot of cases. I think, though, it's important to also recognize that there is such a thing as people who actually do have a very genuinely happy existence (and marriage) AND some of those things that don't necessarily guarantee that happy existence. :)

Everyone has problems in life. Some people have more than others. Someone recently commented to me that "every family is dysfunctional". My reply to that was that every family is NOT dysfunctional. Every family has problems. The difference is in how a family deals with whatever problems arise.

Either way, there's little point in anyone's measuring himself and his family by others. Others' lives (great or not-so-great) are of no consequence to our own. Spending time thinking about what others are doing or have is spending time we could be thinking about what we're doing and have (no matter what anyone else is doing or has).

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Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Very true and sad too...Insecure, sad, hurting people that probibly want to feel loved and accepted but going about it all the wrong way. Thank you for sharing.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

Thank you for this Hub fpherj48, so true indeed in many ways. Before commenting I took a peek of your bio, and am impressed. Oddly, the feeling I felt reading was, TG someone sees, while pondering - now what? Discovering an answer I am encouraged.

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

DzyMsLizzy....What a wonderful cmment from you. Thank you so much. I enjoy your visits and appreciate your wisdom. I am sincerely happy for you and hubby & your sweet, loving relationship. Peace

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Sunshine.....Thanks for always being so quick to read my newly published hubs!! I appreciate your loyalty.

I think we've all encountered these desperate people at some time in our life. They can be neighbors, friends and even family! They really ARE transparent.

Absolutely give yourself a hug for your authenticity!

It's comforting not to have to keep up a public show, that's how I see it.

Thanks for the kudos. Coming from you, I'm flattered, because I know you mean it sincerely. Please visit again, anytime.

DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

So true, so sad, but so true. True happiness lies in what is beneath the surface; it lies in self-esteem; it lies in the inner wealth of being happy with what you have. Anyone who feels the need to brag--about anything--is only trying to convince themeselves of what they wish were the truth.

My husband and I are soul-mates--we are very happy--that does not mean we don't have our "moments" when we push each other's buttons; miscommunicate, disagree, or are just too tired to respond lovingly. None of that means the relationship is trashed.

Being happy resides in being adult enough to recognize those issues as part of being human, and knowing that there is no such thing as perfection. You deal with the momentary unpleasantness, move past it, and get on with your lives.

This is such an important lesson for people to learn.

Voted up, awesome, interesting, useful and shared.

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Effer either we know a lot of the same peeps OR you are just as sharp as I am for seeing through transparent people!It's a known fact that the more someone has to boast and brag all they are really doing is trying to convince themselves of their sad reality. Anyone who is happy and contend doesn't need a daily vocal reminder of all they have, want or need. I've know countless women who boasted only to reveal their true misery one day. I've know the men who bragged and YEP they weren't getting it. Actually I think the men have finally wised up to the bragging. I've known the "rich" ones who are actually in so much debt they are drowning in the deep end of the pool...some of those are my neighbors! Wow you hit the nail on the head with this hub. It's perfect and at this time I'm congratulating myself for not being a fake and for being the real deal. Well done!!!

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