Cougar...Me? Dating & The Older Woman


As a single woman who is well over 40 now, I often find myself in the not so unique position of being the object of the attention of much younger men. As the mother of a 24 year old, it's starting to creep me out a little that some of the men who are hitting on me are not far from my son's age. What am I saying, some of them are my son's age! I want to ask them if their mother knows their son is out there trying to date someone they may have gone to high school with....all kinds of creepy in my book. Or if their mother know that they're still up on a school night! I have to wonder what the interest factor is for a man in his 20's to be pursuing a women over 40...I'm guessing it's (a) money) or (b) a mother complex.

Cougars Sometimes Are Prone To Growl

Hey, I know all about the cougar thing, but c'mon, do I really want to have to train a man that young? An older man knows when I'm pissed off, the key reaction should be: DO NOT TALK TO ME. ...DO NOT TOUCH ME. ..HECK, DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. But no, these young guys want to "discuss it" and talk about "my feelings." Give me good old fashioned indifference any day. Leave me alone! I just need a minute to reconsider wanting to kill you and then I'll be all brand new again! I don't want to freaking TALK about it! No thanks, I'm good.


 And then there's the thing with the music. If we're going someplace in the car, I want to listen to my girls Ann and Nancy (and if you don't know who they are by their first names, you aren't old enough to date me!) and he wants to listen to Lil' Wayne or Lil' Boosie Or Lil' somebody like that, I don't know, most of those guys don't have real names anyway. And must we have the car windows rolled down with this stuff blasting out in the middle of January?! Not that I'm so old I want to listen to elevator music or Frank Sinatra all the time, but seriously, how many times do I have to listen to "My Girlfriend's A Stripper." C'mon, really?



The Time Warp Issue

Sure you're a hottie. I mean just look at you all rocked up with the six pack abs and smooth (spray) tanned skin with nary a wrinkle under those big gorgeous eyes., But if I see it, don't you think I know that the rest of the female population sees it, too? I mean seriously, how can I compete? Even the 30 year old babes are Botoxed within an inch of their still young lives and with the advent of butt implants and calf implants along with all those other implants, do you think I don't know my body suffers in comparison? Do you really want to go to the beach with me and have to turn down young chicks who ask if your mom will be ok alone while you go play sand volleyball with the Swedish female volleyball team that just happens to be in the area? Please!

Good Looks Don't Last Forever...

You know I hate turning you down and you know, it might be fun for a day or a week, maybe even a couple of years,. But one day you're gonna wake up beside me and turn over and be staring at OLD. If that doesn't freak you out, I don't know what will.

Except maybe changing my Depends in about 20 years...I'm just sayin'...........

More by this Author

Comments 18 comments

Justsilvie 5 years ago

Great Hub! Sooo funny.

Younger men are great, but I guess when they seem so young you have the urge to tuck the covers around them at night they might just be too young. ;)

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Thanks, Silvie! I could go 10 years younger, maybe, but when they are my son's age...let's just say it's more than creepy...I would feel like a sick-o!

Justsilvie 5 years ago

I read that they have to be 10 years or more younger to be considered younger men so your safe and staying in your age group.

You may not have those same feelings when your son is 40. For some reason men that age no longer feel all that young, *grin*

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

By the time my son is 40, i don't think I'll care one way or another!

Tess 5 years ago

I laughed my 40+ butt off

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

I hoped you would! Especially since you know some of the background!

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Voted this hub up--your humor is priceless! Loved the hub. Welcome to hubpages and nice to meet you.

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Thanks, Denise. I'm having a ball so far speaking my mind in a forum where alot of people "get it."

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

It has been the same with me too! I have always had younger men who was attracted to me though I have never offered much encouragement to anyone. But to tell you the truth I feel flattered that I am capable of attracting men to me who are 15 years and more younger than me at my age of 41. It definitely does give me an ego boost!

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Anamika, yes it is flattering, but I'm always a little suspicious! Maybe I should gracefully accept it, so I can increase my dating pool!

Niteriter profile image

Niteriter 5 years ago from Canada

Not to worry, Ms. Cougar. There's still a brand of man out here who sees you as a sweet young thing. And we're really good at not talking, touching, or looking when the warning growl is issued. As a matter of fact, you'll probably need to go looking for us after your mood passes. We'll all be down at the local beer hall reassuring each other about how good we *used* to be! Cheers.

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Your comment made me smile, Nitewriter! Nice to see a man who actually GETS it!

Ranzi profile image

Ranzi 5 years ago from All Over

Great stuff, such a funny article, made me laugh. Just remember love is blind, as they say.

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Thanks, Ranzi! You're right, love can be blind, deaf, and dumb!

Lapse profile image

Lapse 5 years ago from East Coast Rules

Enjoyed the hub. In my opinion (so it may not be worth too much) as a guy, you really shouldn't expect much from dating a guy that's younger than his early 30s other than good sport. I know I wasn't done wanting to have fun till... hell why lie I'm still not but at least after 33 its manageable! For reference I am older than 33 and I knew who Ann and Nancy were when I first read that. Lol...

There's sometimes an exception, but if you're looking for someone to go the distance with you shouldn't be hitting up Chuckie Cheese's (I don't think you are BTW). But depending on your timeline I think its worth having a little fun with the younger set once or twice. You might learn something.

Several years ago I "dated" (wouldn't call it dating really) a couple women significantly older than myself. Maybe 15 years older. Loved it! Wasn't for money or a mother complex. For me its because older women usually know what they want!!! Don't under estimate the value of that!!!

A relationship is SO much better when two mature people can have a two sided discussion then compromise on the final decision! With your little 20 something girl I think most guys have found they have to do 99% of the planning and decision making!!! Unless he's a control freak like that, which I don't believe most of us are, then you want a woman with a brain in her head. I say you need to use the fact that your better intelligence and experience MORE than beats the younger girl's youth! In general women with confidence are far more attractive than just a pretty face.

My 2 cents...

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Well, Lapse, well, well, well...that was quite an interesting comment. And I'm filing it away in the "I need to read this again, possibly at least once a day" file!

I'm not doing the Chuckie Cheese thing or even the skateboard park thing, but I would maybe consider a smart, late thirty-ish kind of guy who says (and believes!) everything you just said. Thanks for the made me smile!

Justsilvie 5 years ago

Had to read this again and it still gives me the grins. In the last year I have come to the conclusion my mother was right. With someone older you will always be the "younger woman". And it may be my advancing age, but I am noticing there is a planet full of very sexy and attractive older men.

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 4 years ago from South Carolina, USA Author

Ha, Nape! You made me laugh which is a rare thing these days! Your "dangerously hot" reminds me of our city's ad campaign...."famously hot." So maybe I could be dangerously AND famously hot, now that would be really something! Thanks for stopping by.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article