The Product of Divorce: Forging A Better Future
I envision a day where I shall stand under that white arch, waiting for my beloved to walk up the carpet in a dress that fills angles with envy. She will take her place beside me, eagerly awaiting the chance to proudly say our vows to one another, through tearful eyes and joyful smiles, and the final words will be spoken for all to hear, "You may kiss the bride", and I shall. With a sense of accomplishment and pride I will bear the ring on my finger as a symbol of my everlasting love for the woman who shall do the same. Faith, loyalty, honesty and trust, mixed together with a lust and longing for that one person that makes your heart and soul feel their true mortality, for when you say "Till death do us part", you make the everlasting bond that is marriage.
Yet with human nature and all things manmade, it seems nothing is eternal, even when the sacred bond has been made. The love and support two people have for each other when they get married, or are supposed to have, are being washed away in a sea of separation and broken promises.
The current divorce rate in America is roughly 50% according to http://www.divorcerate.org/. This is a wretchedly high number. This number means that half, HALF, of the marriages in America end in divorce. This is disturbing and depressing, and what's more, is that this number is projected to rise.
I was very young when my mother first divorced my real father, too young to remember anything when they were together at all. I had been living two lives after that, one where I was happy with my real mother, and one where I was in a living hell with my step-mother, because my real father was rarely home. My step-mother was an evil woman, pure and simple. I still have the scar of an iron on my left arm to remind me of the torment she put me through. Then, when I was around 8 years old, my birth father was sentenced to a very long term in the Wisconsin state prison, where he has remained to this day. At first, I did not understand why he was leaving and I was moving in with my birth mother and my first step-father. Yet as time passed, so did the memory of my father, and with it replaced by new memories of a new father, one of which the memories were not ones I would like to keep.
I went from an abusive step-mother to a formidable step-father. One that grew up in the country, and had zero tolerance for anyone with a vulnerable nature such as mine. What felt like verbal abuse were threats of pain to make my older brother and I do as he wished. The thought of a child as young as I was going from one type of abusive parent to the other and no one stopping it, is revolting. He will probably read this, in fact, and if he does, I have this to say: I appreciate everything you have done for me, and continue to do, yet for the sake of the history and background of this article, your faults have been included.
This pain was not to last however, for when I was 16, I was told that my mother would be divorcing my step-father. This is divorce number two.
She had been seeing a man for over two years, which bewildered me because she was still married to my step-father. The truth was, the two of them had been planning their divorce for nearly a decade, which was when my younger was born. The next ten years my step-father chose to raise my half-brother, his real son, and neglect myself and my older brother, blood only to each other and our mother, yet still half to our third.
My mother however, had picked favorites long ago, and I was not the chosen one. My older brother received all of the necessary attention that you would expect a growing teenager to receive, thus leaving me, the middle child, with what was left. This is such a common occurrence in modern families that I have labeled it with the slightly humorous title of "The Middle Child Curse".
Then, my brother left for college, and the divorce went into effect. That's when the most life-changing news was destined to reach my ears.
The man my mother had been seeing, lived in Dayton, Ohio, where I now currently reside. I had lived in Spokane, Washington. We were to move from our home, my home, my family, my friends, my life, from Spokane, to a place, LITERALLY, two thousand miles away. When I was 16. I had my first birthday in Dayton that year, my 17th birthday in my junior year of high school. To this day, that move remains the biggest change in my life, and what happened next has made it impossible to make sense of it whatsoever.
My mother and my now ex-second step-father, were married for 3 years, the exact time length I have lived in Ohio. She had been seeing other men during this time, and around 2-3 moths ago she had divorced him in order to live a more free lifestyle.
I was moved 2,000 miles away from my friends, my family, and my home, for a purpose of which is no longer relevant. This, is divorce number three.
Family traditions are not a part of my life. There are no thanksgiving dinners where everyone comes down to stay for the night, there are no christmas evenings spent with my aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers, and there are no birthdays, weekends, vacations, or any days at all spent with any family of mine whatsoever. The absolute direct cause to this, is divorce.
My own mother, my actual blood relative, has moved me and shifted me and put me through hell for the sake of a rushed and destroyed marriage that took it's toll on plenty more than just me. Herself and people like her everywhere are what make up the 50% divorce rate that is still increasing.
What happened America? Does the fact that you have a way out make it so easy to throw around the word marriage? As if it was a decision that you can look back on and say, "Oh well I can always get divorced"? This is absolutely unacceptable! I was under the impression that "Till death do us part", was a literal statement, NOT a figure of speech! This rising tide of broken families will mark our generation for years to come, and unless we take a step back from what we have become it will only mark us further!
I had spoke of my wedding day only briefly, and just as brief the emotions I am sure to feel when that moment comes. This is because I am completely unaware of when I will get married, although I know who I wish it to be to. I plan on having a family that can grow up without ever knowing any sort of pain that I have known growing up, due to divorce. The word family is loosely associated in this generation, as is the word marriage. I plan to end that, or at least I choose to defy it and prove that "Till death do us part", was made for what it says. Children should not know of families and love simply because their parents have felt pain and sorrow and life-changing events. They should know of family and the eternal bond simply because without them, nothing is eternal.
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