The She Male and the Transgender Thingy

 A gender bender. Transsexual. Queer. She male. Even the words depict some sort of oddity that is repulsive yet interesting.

There are guys out there in everyday life that are women. Some look their part. Totally look their part. so much so, any straight guy might hit on them because they were so hot. This happened with a friend. He was at a bar. A regular bar that he had gone to before, The usual things were being done and music began to play. My friend approached what he thought was a beautiful woman. He checked her out, She (he) returned the favor. They chatted over drinks. My friend states that he detected nothing different about this, no hint that the woman was a dude. They danced, got closer. Gradually, the discussion turned to what "are you doing the rest of the night?". It was then the she-male gave the first clue something was different: she-he asked my friend if he was into quirky things.  My friend played the game and said, "depends". Them she-he said, I'm a transgender, is there a problem?

My friend smiled, laughed and could not believe what he had done for the previous hours wooing a guy, not a woman! My friend still cannot get over the incident, he was totally 100% fooled. Everything about the she-male was female except she still had a penis.

A great movie on this odd topic is Solder's Girl starring Jane Fonda's son, Troy Garrity, who plays a straight man who accidentally falls in love with a transgender who is in there last stage. What is fascinating is how the she-male begins his travels from boy to man and gradually over time, lots of hormones, voice training, walking etc., turns into a woman except for the penis. It shows how many years it takes for a man to become a woman who can fool any man. In the sex scenes, it is awkward at first. Fonda's son, at first wants nothing to do with it, yet, he his drawn to her. For a guy to become a woman, even if they are feminine, requires confidence building and training in everyday life. How does a she-male operate on a daily basis? It must be always an Oscar winning performance.

The movie is about the sex transformation, about love and about how intolerance by those who cannot comprehend this turn to violence and finally murder. Sadder is the fact the movie is based on true story. Troy's lover finally is able to make the final conversion with a penis removal and vagina creation for $50,000. Then, is a blink, Troy's buddies murder Troy with a baseball bat as he sleeps because they think he is queer and a fag.

Medically, a man changing into a woman is years of work and a lot of money on hormone pills or injections into the breasts that create the physical likeness, however, even when visually the guy looks like a woman, the voice, the look, the walk all need to be dealt with along with lots of excess hair removal. Also, one cannot simply walk into a doctor's office and start it.  The final step is really the easiest for a doctor.

 

Comments 30 comments

sequoiablessed profile image

sequoiablessed 7 years ago from USA

Are you trying to make a point? or Are you just sensationalizing? GLBT stands for real people who have feelings and deserve respect as we all do. I do admit that respect must be earned and the experience your friend had happens far too much, but wouldn't happen if everyone is honest. Of course an hr of forplay is really no big deal and she did say something before it got serious. I would suggest educating yourself on the issues of transgender because the gender world is more complex than most realize. It is not A(man)or B(woman), it is a rainbow of variations. Also Sex and Gender are different, of which 4 different aspects have been identified. All fetuses are female to start with and then depending on the amount of testosterone the fetus gets during gestation a male, female or combination thereof is the result. I do thank you for sharing your story though.


Suiiki profile image

Suiiki 6 years ago from City of the Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

Gender is not one or the other, and even physcial sex isn't. There are numerous people born every day that have ambiguos genitalia, why should gender, which is a state of the mind, be any different? Your friend was not wooing a man, he was wooing a woman who happened to be born differently. I really think that you should educate yourself. Besides, all your friend did was talk to and dance with her. And she said something before things got any deeper than that, as would any transgender woman who respected herself and others.

I suggest that you start your research by googling "Gender Identity Disorder." While this is the (Incorrect) classification of transgender status as a mental disease, you are more likely to find good information by starting there. A good site to look at is Andrea James's website, TSRoadmap. There are others out there as well. TransFM is an online radio show run by a really brilliant transguy names Ethan St. Pierre. I believe there are ways to contact both of them if you have questions.

And if you want to talk about how life goes for the non-trans (cisgender) friends and partners of transpeople, you can contact me at any time. I'm always willing to answer questions. Just remember that gender and sexuality are two different things


perrya profile image

perrya 6 years ago Author

I know that for those who suffer from the transgender thing it is a hard thing to talk about to straight people. It is not a simple thing to understand nor approve of. It is rather alien. Gender and sexuality do go hand in hand in many ways and to say they do not is simply being in denial. Many think it is a disorder of the mind brought on by incidents occuring during childhood. Bottom line, no one really knows. I tend to agree the condition is brought on by a combination of psychological events in one's life that convinces a person that they should be female not a male or vice versa because every child born is born a clean slate with no outside influences only genetic markers that they have no clue about.


Suiiki profile image

Suiiki 6 years ago from City of the Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

Actually gender and sexuality are different. If gender and sexuality were the same, then the people who try to say that transwomen are really homosexual men would be partially right. But there a lots of lesbian transwomen out there (I am married to one) and there are lots of gay men who are quite happy to keep their penis and male status. The current theory even goes that gender and sexuality are controlled by different parts of the brain.


Clearsky54 6 years ago

If you plan to reveal facts about a movie that others have not seen, please be kind enough to say SPOILERS at the top. Now I'll never see Soldier Girl, because you ruined it for me.


perrya profile image

perrya 6 years ago Author

It is a very good movie.


Alex 6 years ago

I haven't seen that movie, but I did like Transamerica.

It seems the better acting performance is done when transgenders try to fit in with their biological sex, as opposed to just being who they are and feel like. Nobody's out to fool others, they are just out to be themselves, wear an appearance they are comfortable with.

And did you read about the Australian research team that found a genetic link to male transsexuality, that deals with androgen receptors? Most people don't know about their genetic markers, they just know how they feel.


jami 6 years ago

Are you for real? Transgender people not being able to talk to "straight" people? I am a "straight" person - I'm interested in men. The only difference is that I'm undergoing male-female gender correction (reassignment). And it's nothing to do with "incidents from childhood". I was born female psychologically and emotionally. It's just that I was with a birth defect - a penis. Re the last comment: we Aussies are a clever bunch!


perrya profile image

perrya 6 years ago Author

Viola!


Judith 5 years ago

Voila! First known usage 1749 - There you have it. I had to look it up as I don't trust myself to remember the use of words, the meaning. You see, I am the daughter of a male to female. What I see in that last comment is a transperson saying "you need to be educated,' as if nature and experience hadn't educated you already. Can you see why I have trouble with language, what with the he, she, it, male to female, transsexual female, etc., etc., etc., you have to speak a different language if you want to play on their stage. It's like they are all clones, they expect you to disown your very own language, your own response to other's body language if you want to be a person who can talk to transsexuals. Just be grateful you didn't have to have one as your 'new mommy,' So, maybe your comment will be Voila! Voila! But I want kudos because I had to locate the explanation point, and did it twice. You can't say Voila without it.


Judith 5 years ago

Voila! First known usage 1749 - There you have it. I had to look it up as I don't trust myself to remember the use of words, the meaning. You see, I am the daughter of a male to female. What I see in that last comment is a transperson saying "you need to be educated,' as if nature and experience hadn't educated you already. Can you see why I have trouble with language, what with the he, she, it, male to female, transsexual female, etc., etc., etc., you have to speak a different language if you want to play on their stage. It's like they are all clones, they expect you to disown your very own language, your own response to other's body language if you want to be a person who can talk to transsexuals. Just be grateful you didn't have to have one as your 'new mommy,' So, maybe your comment will be Voila! Voila! But I want kudos because I had to locate the explanation point, and did it twice. You can't say Voila without it.


Badtranny profile image

Badtranny 5 years ago from www.badtranny.com

Perry,

I think your "friend" should have kept dancing and maybe he would have had a great time. By the way, it's insulting to refer to me or my sisters as he/she. We are simply she. Yes I have a penis (horrors!) but how can you look at me and call me a man? How could you kiss me and call me a man?

-Misty


katydidnt profile image

katydidnt 5 years ago from New Brunswick, Canada

Ouch dude. After reading, and rereading, I can't tell if you are heading toward a point or making fun, but you don't sound like you know much about your subject. "The transgender thingy" is a pretty serious issue. Go watch your movies.


Nicole1963 profile image

Nicole1963 5 years ago from Silverdale, WA

Hello perrya,

I sit here rubbing my head trying to discern a main point of your article. Was it “be careful who you dance with” or “Transgendered individuals get murdered?” Maybe it was all a backhanded attempt at some sort of strange complement I have no idea.

When one decides that they would like to publish an article on a subject for instance transgendered individuals they usually would do some research on the topic to help support or back their assumptions or story line. Evidently this step was skipped before publishing this article and it is quite obvious.

I am not here to complain as just reading the title I lowered my expectation of what was going to be contained on the page. However, being an optimist I arrived at the hub and began to read. I guess that I should have followed my first perception as it was indeed one of the most painful articles I have ever had to force myself to get through. This was not because of some thought provoking story but rather from a complete absence of knowledge and a complete lack of any sort of attempt to understand what was being discussed.

First off “Transgender thingy” I mean come now a 4th grade child could have come up with a better phrase. It also would have probably been a good idea to find out that transgender is an umbrella term used to cover a wide variety of individuals that can be quite different. However, in this article the terms are used as if they are all interchangeable. Oh by the way just FYI the term shemale is actually a derogatory term coined by the porn industry and is very offensive to a large number of transgendered individuals.

Second if even a little bit of time had been taken to look into the articles topic you would have learned that there are actually measurable differences in the brains of transsexuals and their physical counterparts. It is also believed that because of the fact that all fetuses begin as female that incidents during the testosterone wash of the fetus are strongly believed to be connected to various transgendered situations. More data and information comes forth with each study, which continues to show the worn out old standard of “they must have experienced some traumatic event in their life” as nothing more than the prejudicial noise that it is.

You do not need to so call “accept transgender individuals” because we are not asking for your permission to exist as your understanding would be nice but not vital. However, we do demand equality to pursue our goals and dreams just like any other person. Those that value equality understand that all individuals have value and aren’t just some thingy.


perrya profile image

perrya 5 years ago Author

Thanks, but I think you are being over sensitive. The whole transformation is actually interesting in a sci-fi manner, certainly takes a lot of guts and money to change.


katydidnt profile image

katydidnt 5 years ago from New Brunswick, Canada

/puke


Gentle Breeze 5 years ago

I second the puke. Interesting in a sci-fi manner? Gross.

The transformation? Ya know, many of us don't go through years of training to "turn into" a woman. We have to work hard to appear like a normal guy so we won't be rejected. Being a woman is the easy part because that is what we are. What is really hard is dealing with close-minded bigots like you.


perrya profile image

perrya 5 years ago Author

Everyone has an opinion. I don't have a problem with it, its just weird science. Sorry that I do not make it out to be normal, warm and fuzzy. I am sure it is a major acting role and sensitive issue whenever the past comes up.


Gentle Breeze 5 years ago

I agree that everyone should have an opinion, I just disagree with yours. I am not asking you to say that being trans is normal, warm, and fuzzy. It is not. But is also not a freak show for people to be entertained by. That would be like making fun of a person with Cerebral palsy because they move, speak, and look different. It is cruel and immature to objectify real people with real problems.


perrya profile image

perrya 5 years ago Author

True, medically I cannot imagine how woman would be able to turn into a man. It seems it would easier for a guy to turn into a woman, maybe not. And, i am not even talking about the psychology of it all.


Jeanine 5 years ago

I am trans... and it is a freak show in many ways... I've sat in group for years and needed to... have had many different therapist... all agreeing that I have it... I'm on HRT for some years now... yet seeing the pain and frustration of many of the TS community has been traumatic in many ways... I have a wife and grown kids and they are all aware of my gift... and it is a gift of nature... our tribe has stood with great men through the ages as advisers and good council... it has only been in these last few centuries that we have not been revered as Holy men... to make a long story short... because we have surgery today to make us one sex or the other we have been tricked into giving up part of what makes us so unique... we are not binary/ one or the other we are both... so the surgeons that have tried to help us these last hundred years have done us a great disservice... maybe you can understand better if I say it this way.... the woman in me would never let anyone hurt my children... and that includes the mans body that I have lived in all my life... if I was not married and had children... I still would not change my sex because be trans is a gift... we were marriage therapist for the tribes of the world... and one day when we have gotten over our moments to change our sex... we will return to greatness...


perrya profile image

perrya 5 years ago Author

interesting, J, thanks for the insight


Jeanine 5 years ago

I know that's a strange take on TS behavior... but reality is there are many of us who transition to female when younger and I can understand the need to get away from the confusion that is companion to the gift... but as older TS's we need to take a more responsible look at what we are to do as a movement... most in late transition are willing to live as a woman... if the image in the mirror is even a slight bit better... we are euphoric for the minor change from what we have lived most of our lives... when in reality most of us still look like a man in a dress... the rule for us is the same as for women... younger and still beautiful... change if you want... older and not so beautiful... ones thoughts will have to carry you through... and life is very interesting for a fem living in a man body... or a man living in a fem body.... most have hidden their feelings away for all of their lives so when confronted with coming out... it's hard not to... the reality is if you are being the man is the dress... you go from being unique to kinda weird... not to each of us... but to the rest of the world...understand... there are many like me... more than you would imagine...


Jeanine 5 years ago

I know that's a strange take on TS behavior... but reality is there are many of us who transition to female when younger and I can understand the need to get away from the confusion that is companion to the gift... but as older TS's we need to take a more responsible look at what we are to do as a movement... most in late transition are willing to live as a woman... if the image in the mirror is even a slight bit better... we are euphoric for the minor change from what we have lived most of our lives... when in reality most of us still look like a man in a dress... the rule for us is the same as for women... younger and still beautiful... change if you want... older and not so beautiful... ones thoughts will have to carry you through... and life is very interesting for an fem living in a man body... or a man living in a fem body.... most have hidden their feelings away for all of their lives so when confronted with coming out... it's hard not to... the reality is if you are being the man is the dress... you go from being unique to kinda weird... not to each of us... but to the rest of the world...understand... there are many like me... more than you would imagine...


noxadari profile image

noxadari 5 years ago from Oklahoma

Wow, I knew I should have skipped over this when I read the title. It's uneducated people like this that is keeping the trans communite from getting the equality and understanding that is deserved.


Jay Pina profile image

Jay Pina 4 years ago

I found this highly offensive. I myself am transgender, and you obviously know nothing about what you're trying to speak about. I couldn't even read the whole thing, that is how wretched this whole thing is.

Also, I would like to point out using the term she-male for a transsexual woman would be considered highly offensive, for it implies that she is working in the sex trade.

Not to mention this "he" you are referring to really is a "she". Sex and gender identity are two different things. Gender is chosen and is what conforms to what the public considers to match males and females. Sex is what is assigned to you at birth. This friend of yours was truly interacting with a woman, just in a man's body.


perrya profile image

perrya 4 years ago Author

Still, all very weird to many out there.


Jeanine 4 years ago

you mean weird like Cancer right... because that's all it is...you know what you are everyday... we are fluid and that's not a bad thing... it's just your kind are afraid of my kind... and that's where you are offensive... you assume because you are not trans... then no else is or should be aware that they are... you're an idiot in other words... so try and read... I usaually do not say things so offensive but you seem so uninformed that you might hurt yourself or someone else... try and and Educate dear... we are not like you... but we are not less than you... we are who we are... now if you have some facts that you know someone like us... then by all means give us an update... do you know a lot of trans gendered folk... if so tell me how they treat you... and if you don't know a bunch of us... then how are you giving your opinion...


Beaime 3 years ago

Disgusting article obviously totally misunderstanding the issue.


perrya profile image

perrya 3 years ago Author

Thanks for the input, I disagree.

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