The Top 10 Passion Killers for Men

Following on from my hub The Top 10 Passion Killers for Women I felt it only right to redress the balance by writing a hub on The Top 10 Passion Killers for Men. After consulting my Husband and some male friends they shared with me their opinions on what would constitute a passion killer for them. All I had to do was put these into the scenarios you are about to read. I hope you enjoy this humorous slant on the potential perils to look out for in new relationships.

Number 1, Big Knickers

Picture the scene, you have at last progressed to the stage in your relationship where you are going to have your first romantic encounter in the bedroom. The girl of your dreams has finally agreed that she will allow you to become more intimately involved. Your pulse quickens as she starts to undress, she seductively looks into your eyes as she undoes her blouse and reveals the sexy bra underneath. You can hardly contain yourself as she unzips her skirt and allows it to drop to her ankles. You allow your gaze to slowly travel up her legs until......... horror of horrors... you are confronted by an enormous granny sized pair of knickers. Suddenly your ardour is completely dampened, and not in the way you or nature intended. Making hastily mumbled excuses about having had too much to drink being the cause of your inability to perform you beat a rapid retreat back to your own flat and make a definite mental note to cross her name out of your little black book.

Number 2, Hairy Armpits

The gorgeous girl you have admired from afar has finally accepted your invitation to go on a date. You have planned a romantic picnic for the two of you in a nearby park. The weather is hot and sunny so you are not surprised when she turns up in in a summery strapless dress. The picnic goes ever so well and you are really feeling confident that this might just be the girl for you. The food finished all that remains is the picnic blanket and an opportunity for you and her to lay down together and bask in the sunshine. "I am so sleepy after all that food" she coos, and then pouting sexily she stretches her arms above her head to reveal........ what can only be described as a virtual forest of hair that is almost capable of being plaited. Due to the heat this stretching has also released a rather musky sweaty odour from the armpit region, probably caused by the antiperspirant having zero chance of making contact with her skin unless it came equipped with its own lawnmower and a miners lamp. Fighting back the nausea, you pretend to have forgotten a very important appointment and quickly pack up all the picnic items, propel the girl back to your car and deliver her back to her home, breathing a huge sigh of relief that you never actually told her where you lived or gave her your phone number.

To vote on your opinion of armpit hair on women please visit my hub on the subject called 'Armpit hair on women. Do you love it or hate it?'

Number 3, 'Picking' at Food

Most girls love to be taken out for an expensive meal with their potential new boyfriend, but from your point of view nothing is more irritating than watching your date pick at her food, nibble on lettuce leaves and generally spend more time counting calories than actually enjoying the food itself. This meal has already required you to push your credit card up to its limit, so watching course after course being pushed around the plate by your date, until eventually the waiters take the slightly mauled food back to the kitchens in order to dump it is infuriating. It isn't as if she has any reason to even worry about her weight, but even if she had, surely as a courtesy she could have made the effort to enjoy this one meal and return to the diet tomorrow. As it is you have already decided that if you do see her again you are going to McDonald's instead. In any case, like most men you prefer a woman to be ten pounds overweight rather than ten pounds underweight!

Number 4, Going to the Toilet in Front of the Man

We all know that the realities of living with someone are usually somewhat disappointing compared to the mental picture we envisaged, but I doubt many expected to ever be witness to the following scenario:

Blissfully contented now you and your dream woman have finally moved in together you decide to run a hot bubble bath for the two of you to share on your first night in your new love nest. You enhance the mood by scattering scented rose petals on top of the bubbles, climb into the water and then call your true love to join you. She duly arrives in the bathroom and proceeds to undress, then, horror of horrors she says "I'll just quickly go to the loo before I join you". 'Okay' you think, 'well it's no big deal if she wants to have a pee in front of me, after all she has seen me have a pee loads of times'. Only problem is that as she sits down on the toilet in the corner of the bathroom it immediately becomes clear that it isn't a 'pee' she is having. Accompanied by a few squelchy noises and followed by a very audible noxious smelling fart, is a very large series of 'plopping' sounds. This was not at all what you signed up for, and then, to add insult to injury, after she gets up and wipes she casually strolls over to the bath and gets in. Now not only have you witnessed an event you never wanted to, but you are sharing bathwater that is no doubt also cleaning her rear end. A fast exit is called for and you leap out the bath claiming to have a nasty cramp in your leg, whilst faking hopping off to the bedroom. Now you are left wondering how on earth you can ever look at her in the same way again, let alone start a family together.


Number 5, Intimate Body Odour

The woman you have fantasised about for months has at long last allowed you to seduce her, or at least that is how you hope the evening will pan out. All is going well, both of you have successfully made it to your bedroom and have undressed each other. Now is your chance to show her that you are an expert in ways to give a woman maximum pleasure. You start by kissing her neck, and then slowly slowly work your way down her body until you are tantalising her with your tongue just above her bikini line. This is when the first warning signs appear in form of a waft of odour that smells vaguely like a combination of rotting fish and stale urine. Trying to back out now would take some explaining, especially as she is pushing your head lower with her hands. Trying to hold your breath you venture further down and persevere. The trouble is that you can't hold your breath forever, and by the time you have held it as long as you can you are forced to take a huge lungful of air. The smell is now so overpowering and putrid that you are unable to contain yourself and immediately vomit all over her lower regions. Needless to say she is not impressed and you are quickly given your marching orders.......... somehow you really don't mind being dumped on this occasion!

Number 6, Talking About Exes

You know that most women have exes, and of course they are going to occasionally get mentioned, but the last thing you wanted was to have a date with a girl who spent nearly the entire date talking about her series of ex-boyfriendsand their flaws or good points. Naturally you try to be polite and make the right noises like "What a bastard", "Wow, he could last that long!" and "He really earned that much?" at the appropriate pauses in her conversation. It takes about an hour before you finally reach breaking point and can't stand any more. She hasn't asked you anything about your likes, interests, hobbies etc and you can't help being far from surprised that she does have so many exes. Due to the fact that you haven't been able to get a word in edgeways you have already consumed several pints of beer too many and find your tongue loosening alarmingly. Snapping point is reached and you loudly announce that you are delighted to be 'Ex number twelve and wish number thirteen the very best of luck as he is going to need it'. Hiccuping loudly you exit the bar and hail a cab home, leaving her at a loss for words....... for once!

Number 7, Mother in Laws

The girl you married is a real babe apart from her Mother. The Mother in Law seldom seems to approve of anything about you. She complains to her daughter that you don't earn enough, you don't dress smartly, you aren't clever enough and you generally aren't good enough for her daughter. You dread Christmas as you always have to spend it with her parents and yours don't get a look in. She is constantly phoning your house to speak to her daughter for hours on end, dripping poison into her ears about what a bad choice she made when she married you. Every time you and your Wife have a row she calls her Mother and again the poison starts. You still love your Wife, but short of emigrating (which your Wife won't consider) you don't know how you can cope with her Mother's constant interfering. She even tries to tell you how you should be bringing up your own children, and this is especially frustrating when your Wife always seems to do as her Mother says. Why is it you feel like you married a whole family rather than just the woman you love? Possibly because you did exactly that, and be warned, if you want to know how your Wife will end up, look at her Mother!!!!

Number 8, The Bunny Boiler

A pretty girl you found quite attractive accepted a date with you. It was okay but you were not interested enough to carry things any further so you haven't called her to arrange a second date. Now things have got really creepy, she is sending you gifts at work, every time you go to lunch she is there, your phone is being inundated with text messages declaring how much she loves you and can't live without you. Your mates find it quite funny, but it is far from funny from your point of view. Every day she brings sandwiches to your work for your lunch, she is telling everyone she is your girlfriend and you are soon getting married. If you go to the local pub for a drink she is there and will join you regardless of who you are with, if she sees you chatting to any girls she gives them venomous looks all evening and a few times these girls have found their car tyres let down after they leave to go home. She has songs played for you on the local radio station and even when you tried moving flats to avoid her knowing your address, she mysteriously tracked you down and left a love note on your car windscreen. The final straw comes when you arrive home to find her cooking you a 'nice meal' in your kitchen. Apparently she 'found' your keys that you know went missing from your coat in the previous week whilst you were having an after work pint. You unceremoniously escort her out of your flat, call a locksmith to get the locks changed and then head to your lawyer's office to take out a restraining orderagainst her. Now you are wondering why you haven't seen your cat all day................

Number 9, She Hates Your Mates

She seemed the perfect package, attractive, intelligent, kind etc. Things moved fast and within weeks you had moved in together, but this is when the problems began, she hated your mates. You were used to having a couple of nights out each week with the lads and maybe they would come around to yours once in a while for a poker game or simply to watch the football on the telly. Your mates are a typical group of blokes who like to have a few too many beers and tell some dirty jokes, but she is easily shocked and finds fault with their behaviour, making it very clear she doesn't like you hanging around with 'these sorts of people'. In her opinion it is because of them you drink a bit too much on a lads night out and seem to find the most lewd jokes hilarious. She has insisted they don't come to the flat any more and feels that you should stay at home with her rather than hanging out with them. As she hates football and doesn't approve of poker this leaves you angry and frustrated. You miss your mates and can't see why you should be stopped from seeing them. Inside you resentment is building up and you realise you both moved in together far too soon and should have waited until she had spent some time with you and your mates socially before taking the next step. Within a couple of months you are at the limit of your tolerance levels and tell her it is time to part company. You move out the following day making a note to look for a girl who likes your mates, poker, football and dirty jokes next time around.

Number 10, Always Chewing Gum

You met a girl on the Internet who you have loads in common with, same tastes in music, food, jokes etc. After many months of online flirting you are finally ready to take a risk and meet her in the flesh for the first time. Her photos are flattering and she is a real stunner with everything going for her. You couldn't believe your luck when she showed an interest in you back. Excited you arrange to meet her in a restaurant for a meal. You arrive before her and wait nervously praying she won't stand you up. Five minutes later she walks through the doors looking exactly the same as her photos, 'Wow' you think, 'I am one lucky bloke'. You rise to greet her, hold out her chair for her to sit down and then return to your own seat ready to make conversation. It is about now you notice her jaw churning, clearly she is chewing gum. Now this in itself is not a crime, albeit you don't find it particularly attractive, but as the date goes on you find yourself increasingly distracted by the fact she is constantly chewing gum, and as each course of the meal arrives she carefully extracts the chewed gum from her mouth, sticks it back inside the chewing gum wrapper only to retrieve it for further chewing in between courses. You find your mind wandering back to your childhood days when you lived in the countryside and would watch cows chewing the cud in exactly the same way. Fighting back an urge to call her 'Daisy' and pat her on the nose, you walk her back to her car at the end of the date. She leans forward for a kiss having apparently tucked her gum inside a cheek somewhere, your involuntary reaction is to recoil in horror, and having made excuses about having eaten garlic and being concerned about bad breath, you say goodnight and head for home. Top priority, to delete her from your contacts and Facebook friends list.

More by this Author


Comments 104 comments

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio

This Hub is better than a cold shower...very cold! :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL, hope you weren't 'on a promise' tonight then Tom!! ;)


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

If I were a guy, misty, my passion would have definitely died by the time I reached those hairy armpits. Ugh! Thanks for the laughs.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Mine too drbj, glad you enjoyed this :)


diogenes 6 years ago

My 4 ex wives and about 100 ex lovers explained!

Glad you explained that last photo, the mind boggled.

I don't mind the body hair, though...Bob


2patricias profile image

2patricias 6 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

Don't know how we have both stayed married so long... (lol)

This hub contains a lot of giggles. In the course of doing research for our own website we have had our makeup 'done' probably more often than most normal women. I guess some make-up girls chew gum because some of the clients smell, but it certainly is not pleasant to be sitting up close to somebody chewing (and cracking) gum - must be a real turn off on date night.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

LOL, this is great! Thanks for the laughs..


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Bob, glad this helped you work out what the problems were in your former marriages LOL. Surprised you don't mind the body hair I have to say.

Hi 2patricias, Yes, chewing gum and cracking it must be particularly annoying. I got told off by one boss simply for chewing some whilst on reception at the local vets surgery. I only did it to cover up the smell of a cigarette I had smoked at the end of my lunch hour (this was when I used to be a smoker), I figured it was a better option to see someone chewing gum than smell the old cigarette they had just smoked!

Hi Sweetsusieg, so glad this gave you a laugh.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

More than a few of them go both ways don't ya know! Thanks Misty!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Very true Candie V, I found the same with the other Hub I wrote on The Top 10 Passion Killers for Women.Thanks for the feedback :)


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Well shoot, I'm new here.. forgive me.. Now I shall go and do some catch-up reading.. who knows.. maybe I'll come up with more comments you've already published information on! Hahaha! Hugs!


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Misty, that's was funny. It says a lot about everyone involved. :) Thank you for sharing. I certainly hope more people read it too. :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hey, no worries Candy, I hope you enjoy my other hubs too :)

Hi Cags, I hope more people read it too :) Great to see you here by the way.


ocbill profile image

ocbill 6 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

OK, let's see. #7 was enough for me or was it the account of seeing the big knickers. I am fortunate enough to not have experienced the others.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi ocbill, thanks for commenting, as a woman I can categorically say I do not possess a pair of big knickers :)


Claudin_Dayo profile image

Claudin_Dayo 6 years ago from Southeast Asia

this is so funny and yet it is by the way factual :) I laugh, enjoyed and loved this hub!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Claudin, really pleased you loved this hub :)


JohnBarret profile image

JohnBarret 6 years ago

Its really funny I laughed reading it.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks John, I sure hope you could also identify with it too :)


Hayley 6 years ago

P.S. My one-time fiancé always maintained that men prefer 'Big knickers' on a woman, but I suspect it was just his way of ensuring that I would never be able to have an affair.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I am thinking you are right about that Hayley.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia

Hahaha oh this hub was awesome Misty, right down my alley. Loved it....oooo those armpits, reminds me of my friend Anna's pits, they have to be at least 4 inches long....


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Yikes BP, that is horrible, perhaps she should read this LOL


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi barcan_n.

Please note the rules below the comment box "Comments are not for promoting your hubs or other sites".

I might have let it go if your hub topic was relevant to my hub topic, but it clearly wasn't at all relevant and was simply a picture hub about some actress. I see you are new to hubpages so I am giving you this tip as friendly advice, and hope you now understand why I have deleted your comment and link to your hub.


tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 6 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

Pretty good. The hairy pits don't bother me. Most of the others are right there. Girls who don't eat, but talk constantly about their diet. Blech.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Cheers tmbridgeland, glad you enjoyed this :)


Beege215e profile image

Beege215e 5 years ago

I saw that armpit and gagged out loud. Wow. I have met some hairy women, but I can surely see how a man would run for the hills in a heartbeat. Funny hub, thanks for the smiles.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Beege215e, glad it made you laugh :)


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

peed in my oversize knickers right now

thanks

i'm glad pee in pants isn't on list, i'll just throw out knickers no one the wiser?

I have one complaint - the armpit mullet made me throw up in my mouth a little. ewe thank god for lawn mores or weeding sheers

YOU ALWAYS CRACK ME UP LOVE YOU

have to go spit out my gum, turn the boiling water off and brush my teeth

just saying.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Kimberly, your wonderful and funny comment was just what I needed after the sad day I had today burying my beloved deceased cat 'Reggie', (as you know).

Thanks again


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

PS, love you too :)


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

Reggie was in my prayers girl, ugh I hate not being able to understand loss, but he must have been the happiest cat with you as his mom.

xo


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for that Kimberly, he was very well looked after. We buried him wrapped in a blanket, on a cushion and with an unopened pouch of food next to him, (he really adored eating even though he was not an overweight cat). I will never forget him, he was one of my babies, (especially as I am unable to have children).


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

Oh misty my heart beats with yours as you know I too am not a mother and got a puppy two years ago she helps alot. However I am sure you can relate to the void of times like the upcoming mothers day and it stings. No doubt it will be harder for you this year so you and I will embrace the aspects that are a bonus being childless and celebrate the two of us in the same situation

I hope this reads / coming from my I phone

Hugs hugs hugs


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Kimberly, I am lucky I still have my other two cats to console me, otherwise it would be ten times worse. Fortunately we have just had Mother's Day here, so I don't have to deal with that again too soon. I will not enjoy it next year though.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

Question

I have been doing pretty much of all my hubbing from my bed from my I phone would this be worse same as or better than the big knickers? Girls gotta know cause ya just never know

Hurry about now and read my hub

I'll never be enough and this will clarity maybe serenity and wisdom to make this answer

Hurry

Hurry

Oh right btw I'm on my I phone

I am lame such a shame

Oh goodbye be gone just go

No for real

I have a call

Please

O deleted 4 accounts today 4 living ugh still

Smooches


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

Ps 2 years minus 2 week meltdown when I left

Lame for sure


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Kimberly, I am sure hubbing from your phone is perfectly okay and so much better than 'big knickers' :) Always nice to see you on my hubs.


Antonio Sotelo profile image

Antonio Sotelo 5 years ago from El Paso, Texas

This article is awesome, mistyhorizon2003. Thanks for the insight.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

oh why can I not stop following

Girl, we don't want me to start again

I swear I have tears in my eyes laughing so hard

but then again I'm super funny so it makes sense

oooo those knickers!

too close to home

must get out and save myself


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Antonio, I am so glad you found this article and enjoyed it :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL Kimberly, delighted you enjoyed this, especially as you are a good friend here. Keep smiling, it suits you :)


4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

Oh God this was funny I loved this so much those pics, Oh boy. But you know in some countries men like hairy legs and underarms? I have heard a man request that on a date service once and found out it's true.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi 4tune, thanks so much for commenting and I am glad you liked this so much. I never can get my head around why any man would like a woman with hairy legs or underarms, but agree there are countries that this is considered attractive, and also there are individuals that like this in all countries. To me it is like those people who are turned on by sucking toes, yuck, spitting out someone else's corn plaster is not my idea of sexy LOL.


Smart is Good profile image

Smart is Good 5 years ago from Lima, Perú

Super funy, and super accurate! Great Hub


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thank you Smart is Good, delighted you enjoyed it :)


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

oh girl, still being ridiculous in laughter, hope you are well and you shaved I assumed

love you

kimberly


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Kimberly, great to hear from you. Yes I am well thanks and definitely shaved LOL. Hope you are well too, Love ya ! :)


GlstngRosePetals profile image

GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

Very good article. Everything mentioned is so very true. Thanks for the useful info


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Glad you enjoyed this GlstngRosePetals and thanks very much for making a comment :)


prettynutjob30 profile image

prettynutjob30 5 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

That was funny,but I have to admit that big granny panties are one of my trade marks.I have to wear them to cover my massive ghetto booty lol.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL. Glad you enjoyed this prettynutjob30. Hope you change the panties for romantic liaisons.


Lone Ranger 5 years ago

Damn, Cindy, I'm going to need to see a sex therapist now, because you just rendered me impotent!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL L.R. I hope not for your sake :)


Hairy 4 years ago

What have you against a woman with hairy armpits.? On a hot day,of course they will be moist and have the smell of a woman.

Body hair on a woman is sign of a healthy mature woman. Most unshaved women are confident intelligent people. Regrettably there are few around.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I am afraid it isn't just my opinion 'Hairy', and most men appear to find these a huge turn off and the 'smell of a woman's moist armpits on a hot day' is also known as BO, (Body Odour, not pleasant).

I honestly don't see the connection between a 'confident intelligent woman' and this being more likely with 'Body hair' nor is there any evidence to link the two together that I am aware of!

I can always add a poll to this article if you want proof of the fact most men dislike hairy armpits on a woman. Give it a couple of months and I think you will see the results prove the point.

Sorry!


Mira 4 years ago

Great Hub! I can see how men don't like a lot of this stuff, i'm a girl and neither do i.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Mira, glad you agree and are on the same wavelength as I am :)


chelseacharleston profile image

chelseacharleston 4 years ago

Great hub! LOL Those things are a problem


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks chelseacharleston, nice to have another person who agrees about these being a problem :)


Camo Girl!! 4 years ago

Yes All these things i hate and i can see why guys do not likes these things!!!!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Glad you agree too Camo Girl :)


100ktrainer profile image

100ktrainer 4 years ago from Michigan

Cool Hub! I can see these being passion killers for sure.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks 100Ktrainer, pleased you think the way I do :)


Hairy 4 years ago

Hairy armpits on a girl are a turn on for men. Any man refusing a date with a girl because she displays hairy pits is immature and does not deserve a girlfriend.

Hair was put there for a purpose and should not be shaved or trimmed.

Hairy armpits are a sign of health and confidence. Give me a hairy woman every time. It brings out the natural smell of a woman


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I am pretty certain if I put up a poll with regards to the 'Hairy armpits' on this article you will quickly find that the minority like them, and the majority loathe them. Sorry, but that is the truth whether you agree or not. I also cannot for the life of me see the connection between 'health and confidence' and 'hairy armpits'!!! Also if the hair is there for any purpose it is one long since no longer required, e.g. warmth, and we now have clothes and don't rely on hair. Would you never cut your head hair on this logic?

This is not a case of maturity or not, this is a case of some men, (apparently most men), not finding hairy armpits attractive, just as they might not like women who have tattoos, or women who are skinny, fat etc.

The first line of your comment should honestly be reworded to say

"hairy armpits on a girl are a turn on for ME", not as it currently says "hairy armpits on a girl are a turn on for men".


Peaceful life profile image

Peaceful life 4 years ago from Las vegas

wow..i think i need cold shower after read this pages,LOL wonderful and useful info..


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL, off you go for your cold shower then Peaceful Life, then you can come back and read some more ;)


TransferAmerica profile image

TransferAmerica 4 years ago from Torrance, CA

HAHAA this hub is amazing. The girl with the armpit was so funny. Great hub.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks TransferAmerica, glad you enjoyed this :)


My hub 4 years ago

Femininity

by Grace Olivia Nordberg

Women With Armpit Hair

why women need armpit hair.

I will tell you why it is a necessity for women to have armpit hair. Because God put it there for a reason.

Women with armpit hair are natural and sexy. Yes, Granny said sexy. I will tell you, it is not a good idea to shave off your pit hair then put on deodorant. The deodorant clogs the skin up and it can not breath. The deodorant is absorbed and it does not leave the body.

Here you will learn a lesson. Listen to the wise old Granny and what I tell you. When I was younger, I feared what a man would think to see me with armpit hair, and I kept it neat & deodorized. Then one day, I found a lump under my pit that bothered me and stayed there for about 4 months. So, I quit shaving and quit putting the deodorant on and the lump went away.

I must also tell you, this lump came and went over a period of 5 years. Who knows, it could have been some sort of cancer. I am all natural now, no deodorant and lump free. I may have saved my own life. Yeah? You listen to Grandma.

I wrote this article on my hub page and it got an overwhelming response and is still getting hits and responses. I can not understand why, I wrote what came naturally and told the truth. I found many people have different opinions about women with armpit hair. The comments just keep on coming in. Some I have to delete because they are way over and beyond offensive or objectionable.

some comments are:

"I like to use a crystal salt deodorant (not an antiperspirant), which doesn't clog up pores or use nasty perfume. I do shave, though. I have yet to meet a single guy who's turned on by underarm hair."

"I don't thing I ever dated a girl with armpit hair! Nor one that swilled beer then burped loudly in public! Nor one that was covered in tattoos! HM - have I led a sheltered life! LOL! Nice hub, llongoria0"

"Natural hairy women are very sexy,such a turn on to see hairy armpits on a women"

"So nice to read so many other comments appreciating women's body hair. I haven't shaved for 7 years and have dealt with a lot of ridicule, so it is nice to hear some appreciation. Also it has been a reminder to me that many men find our beautiful hairy bodies attractive!"

"Hundreds of years ago they did NOT have secret or dial. Remember."

These are all exact quotes from the people who left them. I enjoy reading them, I enjoy the diversity of the subject also.


Grace 4 years ago

What did you think of my post. Food for thought?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Just got to your post and have just approved it, so can only just comment on it Grace. Curious, if you wrote a hub on the subject, which hubber are you as you are not logged in when posting on this one?

The lump you had under your arm was most likely a cyst or an ingrowing hair if it naturally went away on its own, so I wouldn't worry about that. This would no doubt have happened with or without deodorant.

Other elements I would have to question about your comment though, e.g.

'We need armpit hair and God put it there for a reason.'

Evolution put it there for a reason, one we no longer use, e.g. warmth, (we now have clothes and our body hair is gradually vanishing as time goes on). Using the argument we 'need' it and should leave it alone, we would no doubt never clean out our ears because we would say the ear wax was there for a reason. Nor would we bath because we would say the odour was there for a reason etc etc.

'deodorant does not leave the body and is absorbed'

We change our entire skin every 6 weeks, deodorant would be shed with it, assuming we hadn't washed it off beforehand! Even if it were possible to absorb it, where would it go, and what evidence is there that is has done any harm to anyone? Do you use moisturiser? They 'claim' this is absorbed, although it has been proven many times over that it isn't, and merely stops natural moisture escaping, (the same way a good anti-perspirant would until washed off). Perfume? this would not be absorbed, and would only stay on the skin until washed off. I would like to see scientific evidence of the statement 'deodorant is absorbed and does not leave the body,' and of what harm this would do even if it were true!

The trouble is if you write an article solely about armpit hair, you attract readers from both extremes of society. There are men who have a fetish for armpit hair on women and will be looking for 'armpit hair' articles on the Internet. Equally you will get comments from those with an absolute revulsion for it who wish to voice their disgust at the appearance of it etc.

I would be interested in your votes over time if you put a poll on your article asking the genuine question about armpit hair on women, love or hate. I think we both know the results and what they would be over a few months. I am happy to do the same on this hub if you want to compare votes :)

These are my thoughts, and thanks for your comment :)


Bard of Ely profile image

Bard of Ely 4 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

Brilliant hub, Cindy! It made me laugh! Voted up!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Steve, wow you have been on a reading spree of my hubs today lol. I am very flattered :)


Bloody Tampon 4 years ago

This is no 1 passion killer


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I am guessing it would be :)


Stan 4 years ago

I am a professional, well-educated 44 year old man who finds women with body hair exceptionally attractive for a number of reasons. Women who do not conform to social expectations are almost always confident and confidence is attractive. Vanity and/or insecurity exemplified by an obsession with their appearance is very unattractive to me.

Psychologists suggest that our sexual interests are largely shaped during puberty. I experienced this in the 70s I think my interest in natural women is partly a result of fashion during that era.

I enjoying being with a confident, happy, natural woman not a pre-pubescent girl. There is something deeply disturbing with the ever-growing sexualization of young girls and I think the “fashion” of shaving (bald) one’s pubic area is part of this.

I have been fortunate to be with several absolutely beautiful women who have not shaved and who have appreciated my support for them in their choice. Our connections were deeper and more meaningful by both of us being completely comfortable with our bodies.

Many folks seem to think that hygiene is somehow enhanced by shaving. I think this is completely unfounded. From what I understand there is actually a considerably higher risk of staph infections, folliculitis, infected ingrown hairs and other medical concerns associated with shaving.

I completely respect women including how they wish to present themselves. For what it’s worth I just want to let the women that may be reading this know, evidenced in part by the results of the study, that there are many kind, loving, intelligent men out there who respect your choice who prefer natural women who choose not to shave. Beauty shines from within.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for your input Stan. I hope you will visit the other article and vote in 'underarm hair poll'. The link is above :)


Lone Ranger 4 years ago

Hi, Cindy!

I agree with you that body hair on women is an undesirable trait. The less hairy a woman is, the more feminine she seems. Conversely, the more hairy a woman is, the more masculine she seems...and what guy in his right mind would want to go down that road?!

Now, it has already been substantiated that the Lone Ranger is an authority on beauty and therefore, my comments and perspectives are above scrutiny. :0)

Please tell Grace (who seems to think that just because God put something somewhere, somehow implies that it should not be groomed, cleansed, or altered), that little things are done all the time to help fascilitate hygiene, health, and personal appearance.

For instance, God made our fingernails to grow continuously, but does that mean that we should not clip them? God gave men the ability to grow a beard, and sadly some women, but does that mean that men are not supposed to shave?

The Almighty also commanded that the Jews circumcise their male children, so it is obvious that even though the Almighty had certain things grow in certain places, that it is okay, in some instances, to alter, remove, or groom as is necessary.

Hope all is well with you and yours - L.R.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi L.R. so wonderful to see you back again. Please please vote and comment on my newest 'armpit hair' hub. Your input would be invaluable. The link is at the end of the 'armpit hair' section of this one.

Hope you are well too, I am surviving and battling on as usual :)


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland

Oops, oops and oops...now I know why things didn't work!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

lol chspublish, I won't ask which you were guilty of ;)


Ra7388 profile image

Ra7388 4 years ago

#5, my worst fear came true with one!

It would not leave your fingers even after vigorous and rigorous "Detol"ling or even PETROL (for crying out loud!!!) for *3* godforsaken days!!!

She insisted that it was her "strong Jatt Sikh (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jatt_Sikh) genetic structure" that was responsible for it.

"STRONG Feminine Odour" is what she called it.

I forced her, literally, to a Gynaecologist and the "Strong genetic structure" induced "foul-smell" turned out to be a fun-effing-gal infection!

She broke up with me after that.

Her Sikh Ego was too hurt by the fungus! Ha ha HA!!!

N.B. My fingers now smell of strawberries that I make this new muse eat.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Yuck Ra7388, that sounds horrendous. The sad thing is she may genuinely not have realised, as fungal infections are quite common amongst women and are not necessarily as a result of bad hygiene. Still I can see she would be very embarrassed afterwards and I am sure in a bizarre way she was probably grateful you did make her go to the gynecologist. I do love the idea of you resorting to petrol to remove the smell though lol.


Ra7388 profile image

Ra7388 4 years ago

Petrol, Whiskey, Garlic Juice, Lemon!!! Tried them all! :-(

That hygiene part being unrelated to that "foul smell" was what I insisted upon! It was nothing to be ashamed of but taken care of!

Thanks for the comment, though.

Cheers!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL, cheers back Ra7388 :)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago

I thought it was pretty funny..but if you can devote an entire hub on it, then it must be important ..

Thanks.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Very true msorensson, it is important, but equally can be viewed in a humorous way ;)


Nikki Major profile image

Nikki Major 4 years ago

This is intresting....


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for commenting Nikki, glad you found it interesting.


Nyamache profile image

Nyamache 4 years ago from Kenya

This is hub is funny. You really thought it out well.


Nyamache profile image

Nyamache 4 years ago from Kenya

This is hub is funny. You really thought it out well.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Nyamache, it is always lovely to get positive comments in response to a hub I have written. Glad you enjoyed this one.


AlMorr 4 years ago

Hi Cindy, yet another great hub of yours that I have discovered, I could not help myself laughing at No. 4, I am sure you made that one up, or did you get the idea from the Scottish comedian Billy Connolly, at his shows he is always on about toilet jokes etc. I am sure that would not happen in real life, its just the sort of theme he would go on about.

regards

Alan from Billy Connolly land :- Scotland


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Alan,

Well I may have used a little artistic license on number four (perhaps it should have been labelled 'number 2' under the circumstances), but I have heard of at least one case where a man said the first time his wife came into the bathroom and 'had a dump' in front of him, he knew it was time for a divorce lol.

I love Billy Connolly by the way, one of the funniest comedians ever. I must have been watching his stuff since I was about 14, (and I am now in my 40's). He may well have been a subconscious inspiration to my wording of parts of this article :)


Ra7388 profile image

Ra7388 4 years ago

:-)

Another raw nerve has been touched.

Ra.

PS. Deliberately written in passive voice.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

lol Ra, I won't ask which raw nerve ;)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 4 years ago

I think bad body odor is the most unbearable.... :)

Funny and interesting hub. Definitely useful.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Cheers Ingenira, glad you found this useful :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I know you have commented before 'Hairy' , and silly unproven remarks about hairy women being more intelligent are pointless. For this reason I have not allowed your comment as this is clearly your particular fetish, and not appropriate here.


miamihair profile image

miamihair 3 years ago from Miami, FL

No. 9 - She hates your mates. That's not good!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 3 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for commenting miamihair, agreed, it is important she gets on with your mates to avoid arguments later on.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 months ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Sorry Aaliya, I had to remove your comment because it linked to a site which advertise condoms. If you want to comment again without a link I will happily approve it.

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