The Ultimate Guide to Picking Up Using Facebook

Why Facebook?

Facebook, among other social networking sites, has had phenomenal growth over the last couple of years. In fact, I think it has now overtaken MySpace in terms of popularity. It is at least as popular as some of the larger dating sites, if not more so. Here's why:

Facebook has over 140 million users, with more than half outside of college. 2.6 billion minutes are spent on Facebook each day and 13 million users update their status at least once each day (which means at least 13 million users log in to Facebook each day). This gives you an idea of the "potential partner" pool that use the social network.

More than 70% of Facebook users are outside the United States.

So what does that mean for single hubbers?

According to Alexa, 42% of HubPages traffic comes from the United States - you guys can target a whole 30% of Facebook users who are also from the US. 20% of HubPages traffic comes from India, 5% from the United Kingdom, 3% from Pakistan and 3% from Australia. I can tell you that Australians are currently ADDICTED to Facebook.

So... Why Facebook?!

Well...

1) You can do it in the privacy of your own house

2) You don't have to dress up (apart from when you take photos, more on that later...)

3) No performance anxiety

4) No loud music in environments full of cigarette smoke (although this is changing)

5) No wingman (or wingwoman) required - this is now Facebook's role!

6) No other alpha males or females to compete against in the same building

7) More people use Facebooks that any particular online dating site.

8) Facebook itself has "Are You Interested?" and "Meet New People" applications which you can add to your profile and use, like an online dating site - but FOR FREE.

9) It is easier to deal with rejection on Facebook than in real life. (Although I think it shows that someone has "balls" if they made the effort in real life and would I probably catch up as a friend - if I made it clear I'm not interested - that way you can give them feedback on their approach and perhaps make a great friend out of the whole process.) 

flickr image by miroslavgeorgijevic
flickr image by miroslavgeorgijevic

Optimizing Your Profile

MrDipset has recently published a great hub on how to pick up girls using facebook which I would like to expand on here. Basically you need to have a great profile that sells YOU - think of it as a CV or resume for getting a good job. It needs to be tweaked to your advantage so that you can be considered for "the interview".

Your Profile Picture - Photos are a focal point in Facebook. They've gotta be good, especially your profile pic! The girl in the image here not only looks hot, but looking at the photo you can tell that she is someone fun and exciting. There is a "Hot or Not" application where you can test some photos out and let other users rate them 1 to 10. You can then put your best one as your profile photo.

Other Photos - Get some photos with pictures of "hot" members of the opposite sex. This shows other people (unconsciously) that you are a desired person. Photos in interesting venues or locations can also demonstrate excitement to others, indicating that perhaps if they were with you, they too may be able to experience this excitement.

Your Relationship Status - My tip would be to leave this blank. That way, people are always guessing. If you happen to be someone who is always in and out of relationships and you constantly change this from "single" to "in a relationship" and back to "single" again frequently, it doesn't look good and shows you as someone who is unable to sustain a relationship. Plus you will be seen as someone else's "ex" rather than just "you". If people don't know what your status is, it could also be a conversation starter.

Be funny - A sense of humor is always appreciated and if you are seen as entertaining it's a bonus. Be careful though, you don't want to be seen being a racist or putting any group or person down. Even if it is in jest, some people do get offended.

Join a Network - A lot of people have set privacy settings so that only people in their network or just their friends can see their profile. Joining a network means you not only become part of a community, you will also have a common interest or a connection with everyone else in that network. Same goes for "becoming a fan" of activites, tv shows or certain types of music.

Make More Friends - Becoming Facebook friends with friends and "friends of friends", you will not only become popular in the eyes of others, it also increases the chances that you will have a "mutual friend" with someone you are interested in. This can immediately make you more approachable and you no longer remain a "complete stranger". Meeting a stranger is risky, whereas meeting a "friend of a friend" is a significantly safer option.

First Contact

Poking - This is a hard one. There are people who say you shouldn't "poke" someone you're interested in (haha), because most people do it. They say nothing beats a good first message. However, if there is someone who is not in your network that you are interested in, or someone who hasn't joined a network, then maybe you can use this to indicate that you're interested. If they poke back, then try adding them as a friend.

Inbox Message - If you go with this option for first contact, be short. Don't make your first message an essay. He or she doesn't know you yet and all you want to do at this stage is let them know you exist. By sending a message, you grant them access to your profile for a certain amount of time, so make sure you have optimized this before sending a message. Make a comment on their profile picture since often this is all you will have access to. Make a joke. If they have a picture of a celebrity on there, pretend to be naive and ask if it is the real celebrity! Be funny, but not desperate. Don't say things like "you're hot, here's my number, call me." It gives the impression you're after only one thing. Your goal is to get her to add you as a friend so you can get to know each other better and eventually go out on a date.

Wall Post - If you're adventurous and their profile is open, then you can leave a wall post for the person you're interested in. This is an effective way if you've met the person already from going out and have been added as a friend on Facebook. You can say something like "I didn't know you play the drums!" or something similar. The risk with wall posts is that (usually) everyone in your network and friends list can read them. Then again, if existing wall posts are boring, you may have just stood out in a positive way!

Applications - Add the applications "Are YOU Interested?" or "Meet New People" to your profile. If there person you are interested in also use this application then maybe you can use this venue to show your interest. After all, that is why the applications exist!

Good luck! 

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Comments 1 comment

Eileen Hughes profile image

Eileen Hughes 5 years ago from Northam Western Australia

Interesting article. But personally I am fed up with facebook. I get so much (excuse expression) crap in my email every day that I changed my email address.

Now it all goes there and I have to empty out 100 emails nearly every 2 days or more.

I have done everything that I can think of even written to some and said do not send any more or will unfriend them. Fed up with facebook.

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