The Upside of Being Asexual

It's not all so bad

I grew up an asexual in an oversexed (and horrifically conflicted) culture. Maybe this was because of some undiagnosed medical abnormality, maybe this was because I spent too many years under my Puritanical mother's hawkish eyes, or maybe this was because ever since the very beginning I found watching people mess up their lives was far more amusing then participating in personal catastrophe. In any event I am at a point in my life where I wouldn't change this outcome for anything. I am still enjoying watching the people around me flit through their lives like little psychotic chickadees, safe from the sidelines.

Tiny rooster standing proud - No wonder his ladies adore him so.
Tiny rooster standing proud - No wonder his ladies adore him so.

Of Women and Chickens

It's been noted that our divorce rate in the good old US of A is approximately the same divorce rate that chickens have after the end of each breeding season. That's right, hens are monogamous creatures, but if the rooster across the barnyard is ruffling prettier feathers she will leave her first mate about 50% of the time. This immense distractibility seems uncannily similar to our own species and I don't think it testifies much to our intelligence as a "superior" life form. In any event, it's the least scandalous bit of knowledge I have collected pertaining to our collectively psychotic ADD nature.


Hey, if I was a hen little Popcorn here would probably be a real stud muffin. Just look how he takes care of his babes.
Hey, if I was a hen little Popcorn here would probably be a real stud muffin. Just look how he takes care of his babes.
The nuclear family - probably the inventors of these annoying back window stickers.
The nuclear family - probably the inventors of these annoying back window stickers.

Our religious leaders and government officials would like us to think we're all monogamous and that our purpose in life is to find the perfect someone, of the opposite sex, with which to settle down and have many well-rounded children with. This is called the Nuclear Family and I have a shocking announcement to make. Functional nuclear families are not the norm of our society, they are the abnormal standard we think we all want. They are indeed the freaks. Who could possibly stand waking up to the same person day after day after day for fifty some odd years? Talk about monotony! No wonder why these marriages never work. We as a species are addicted to sex and to novelty, two things which normally wither and die within the confines of marriage.


Come sit down.. I'm sure you have something worth diagnosing!
Come sit down.. I'm sure you have something worth diagnosing!

To prove my point I will enter into evidence the English language and the psychiatric profession. We as a species are so obsessed with sex that we have, as a society, written down all that is "normal" and "healthy" and given everything else a clinical name, like a disease. Sex addiction, nymphomania, Inhibited Sexual Desire Disorder, Sexual Aversion Disorder, Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, paraphilia, necrophilia, etc. Of course for everyone enjoying sex to its extreme there are at least as many others who are petrified of it, as expressed through this colorful array of phobias: erotophobia, genophobia, heterophobia, homophobia, paraphobia, gynophobia, hominophobia, venustraphobia, etc.


How many synonyms for water can you think of?
How many synonyms for water can you think of?

It appears we've put a lot of thought into the subject. To put this in perspective how many synonyms for water can you think of? One? Two? My point exactly. So if sex is something we are so enthralled by then how on earth are we supposed to be content with just one partner for the rest of our natural lives? Only profoundly boring people could possibly be content with that. All the better for me, as I get to watch you all crumble under impossible expectations.


Poor King Tut - They could tell he died from a broken leg and malaria but they had such a hard time finding his royal dingle-dangle that it was suspected stolen for decades.
Poor King Tut - They could tell he died from a broken leg and malaria but they had such a hard time finding his royal dingle-dangle that it was suspected stolen for decades.

Don't think for a second however that we as a species even have a norm of any sort, to believe this would be to disillusion yourself. The only constant we seem to have is a slew of inconsistencies, and a fondness of novelty. We're a perverse species. Take for example our love of secretly collecting body parts to put into jars.In 1968 archeologists announced that King Tut wasn't all he seemed to be - in fact part of him was missing - his royal one-eyed trouser trout. Theories abounded as to who stole it and why. Was someone covering up for the fact he had less-than-royal sized equipment, did a necrophile take a liking to it, or was someone out there just pervy enough to wall it up in a curios cabinet? Decades passed before a CAT scan revealed it had somehow detached and was loitering around the bottom of the poor boy's sarcophagus. This doesn't make my point any less valid - people were content to assume for decades that someone did run off with the poor king's royal jerky as if this was somehow just a normal part of life. To make matters worse King Tut isn't the only one whose found himself amidst such a scandal. Did you know Napoleon lost his little dictator during autopsy and that it lived long after he did? At one point it was stolen, at several points it was sold, and it even spent 30 years under some guy's bed before he croaked and willed it to his daughter. Charming. It currently lives with an American urologist... which is either fitting or just worthy of the comment, "I think that one's a lost cause."

I wish I could say that was the only such robbery I heard of (off the History Channel) but the truth is people have been pulling these bizarre stunts for centuries. Many a great leader's package has been lost to thieves. I kid you not. I have stopped asking, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" because in my heart I know pretty much everyone harbors some horrifically bizarre sexual secret, perhaps a fondness for pleather, pinky toes... or mummified penises. This is probably why we're all so uncomfortable with the idea of talking to each other about sex and sexual issues. To be frank with each other would horrify us all.

In the battle of the sexes who has the upper hand? Or are we all just equally doomed?
In the battle of the sexes who has the upper hand? Or are we all just equally doomed?

Women Vs Men

It's fun watching you all implode, trying so very hard to keep up the status quo. There's so many dominoes that could fall in so many different directions. It may be cynical but I like hold little bets with myself on certain people, certain couples, on which one will break down first. To do this I must look at the nature of the sexes.


"What's for dinner Eve?" "Apples my dear."
"What's for dinner Eve?" "Apples my dear."

In the beginning God made man and woman and He in all his infinite wisdom decided to pit them against each other from the dawn of existence. Its true. Was Eve the evil temptress that gave Adam the apple like a poisoned love note or was Adam bugging the shit out of Eve until she caved and fed it to him out of spite? I don't know, it could have been either. The point of the story is we were never meant to coexist peacefully with each other but rather we have been created to snipe and bicker.


At least there's honesty in this one...
At least there's honesty in this one...

Enter the scene other modern women. Let's be honest. Women dress up pretty much to keep other woman from bitching about them behind their backs, telling everyone they meet what a fugly thing you are. Yes, indeed, they gussy up and hike up their boobs, wear skanky clothing and then bitch that men don't take them seriously, or can't stop staring at their chest. Common sense died a long time ago.


It's true.
It's true.

Women are not only irritatingly stupid at points, they are also uncannily foolish. Women know very well the nature of man, their seemingly insatiable drive (particularly earlier on in life) for sex and variety, but for some unknown reason the vast majority of them think they can change their man into... well, a chick. Not just any chick, a spineless chick, one that mutters only supportive comments and fills every emotional need. They want a pussified man who'll laugh and cry with them at their every whim. The nature of men cannot be changed, neither can be the nature of women. It's no small coincidence that societies that segregate the sexes often form intimate bonds with people of the same sex and often only resorting to sex with their spouses for procreation and sex for sex's sake, not for intimacy or emotional bonding. It's God's little joke. The Ancient Greeks and Romans, the Samurai of ages past, the tight female cliques of the Victorian age. It's all there plain to see. The cards are stacking up against modern couples.


Crying babies.... the last nail in the coffin to many relationships.
Crying babies.... the last nail in the coffin to many relationships.

So in any situation I like to look at both individuals. Will the woman's foolish manipulative nature be the couple's ruin or will it be the boy's wanderin' eye? Or perhaps it'll be the woman who will cheat first, seeking emotional comfort with another when her husband distances himself too much. Likely this will be with another man, another man who will eventually grow in her eyes to be the same kind of emotional cripple her husband is. Sometimes it's really hard to tell, as both are so phenomenally dysfunctional. Add a child into the mix and you got a powder keg ready to explode.


Life is perfect if you have buttons for eyes...
Life is perfect if you have buttons for eyes...

So what about successful marriages you say? They're not a bed of roses of either. So often I find that behind each successful marriage is a workaholic father who escapes to the office to keep his sanity and a stay at home mom ready to explode from the pressures of life. "All I do is change dirty diapers and clean!" the wife whines. "I can't stand my wife's bitching and the kids screaming so I come to work everyday for 16 hours," mutters the husband beneath his breath. How romantic! And they stay together for the sake of the children... who in the long run grow up just as dysfunctional as they did one generation ago, repeating the same obvious mistakes.

Wrapping it Up

All my life I have had people approach me, feeling sorry for me, who have asked a slew of questions. "Aren't you lonely all by yourself?" Perhaps sometimes but to me it's worth the peace and quiet, the soundness of mind. "But wouldn't your life have more meaning with a spouse and children?" No, you can keep the snot-nosed little germ factories. I'm not fond of them. "You think all relationships are bound to fail?" No, not all, just a good majority. In all my life I have only seen two genuinely happy marriages between extreme pacifists. They never interested me much. I considered them a regretfully sad footnote on my studies on mankind.

So what are the upsides of being asexual? Emotional stability would be a good start, a profound lack of neuroses, a sublime sense of amusement watching you all, and oh yes, since I consider sex in and of itself to be odd in all its forms I'm usually not horrified by any secret confessions. You're all perverse little creatures in one way or another. Anyone who doesn't admit to that is a liar. Even I am a perverse character. I probably shouldn't gain enjoyment from cataloguing horrifically cynical viewpoints on sociology and psychology, but I do. I can't help that, it's who I am, and I accept it as a fact of life.

In life there are performers and there is an audience. Most of us take both roles at some point or another but as for myself, I'm contented watching the freak show from a distance.

Further Reading

If this surly article made you crack a smile or intrigued you please feel free to check out my other asexual ramblings:

A Misanthropic Asexual's Views on Dating

More Frank Observations by an Acrimonious Asexual

Not Everyone Wants Kids

An Open Letter to Asexual Teenagers

More by this Author


Comments 23 comments

Amy 8 years ago

Interesting view, brilliant logic, wish I didn't already get involved with someone whom was born with the full set of male plumbing....it only ever makes life much more complicated..


Isabella Snow profile image

Isabella Snow 8 years ago

Interesting and funny. Would be more so if you were able to do it without also sounding like you were writing it cos some woman ripped your heart. Kind of hard to read it objectively when you sound like you're so subjective.. Lots of references to stupid women.. none about men. Do we *really* think there arent any stupid men bumbling about...


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 8 years ago from New England Author

Ah, no woman "ripped out my heart" and no men did either. I've never even been on a date. Found the formality a useless trifling thing, of which I'm sure I'll write more on at a later date. Do I think there are stupid men? Absolutely! They are not without fault; they're just simpler creatures, usually falling through the same traps, and not worth repeating much about. I lost a good friendship because my best friend since grade school decided to get married, have a child with his wife, while continuing to court five other women and myself! Lets just say that didn't work out so well... Women on the other hand can be ingenious in their malcontent. They are far more interesting to watch, and far wiser to stay away from if you're a person such as myself. If you're wondering my masculine moniker is actually a bit of a rouse. I'm of the fairer sex and perpetually aggravated by my own peers... whether it be the illogical desire to pump up their "rights" to an insane undeserved degree, or the exact opposite... wallowing in self-pity. Seems it's hard to find a happy medium. Thank you for commenting! Perhaps when I am less tired I shall ramble in a bit less surly voice.


Rapidwriter profile image

Rapidwriter 8 years ago from UK

'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' (Byron)  Equilibrium is only achieved after you've experienced the highs and lows and found a harmonious alance.  Nothing wrong with being solitary - I still fantasize about it and frequentlky fulfil the fantasy - but genuine choice comes as the result of trying out all ways.  It's true we've quantified human urges but isn't it natural that sexual matters should engage us? Sex is the first creative urge and humans are hard-wired to enjoy it for their survival.  Animals just do it and since the main thing distinguishing humans from animals is intellect, then it follows that humankind thinks about it, too.

I don't agree with all you say but it's certainly makes one think.   


Isabella Snow profile image

Isabella Snow 8 years ago

Yeah, I didn't realize you were female. Kind of makes it even worse, LOL. But anyway, Id have said the same if you'd done the opposite and called all men stupid. It taints the writing with a bitter tone, and your writing is really very good.. Im sure you could be less surly with your next one. Look forward to it.


Cybermouse profile image

Cybermouse 8 years ago from Bentonville, AR

Being one of the "freaks" you mentioned I'd like to comment on your hub. I also don't agree with quite everything you said but it was an interesting read nonetheless. Before I had read this and your other hub on the topic, I was completely unaware of the asexual view/lifestyle (and the reason, no doubt, being the lack of mention of asexuality in the media or other sources). I don't take offense that you called me and my family freaks, but I would like to say that every family has problems, including my own. A family that is centered on the Lord and righteous living, however, is a family that is living in accordance with God's design for a family, and that's why such a family works. Dysfunctional families usually include one or more things that are blatantly contrary to God's design. The reason dysfunctional families are becoming more common in today's society is because of the devil's influence on the world (which began with the serpent convincing Eve to sin, which was the first lie). God did not intend for a husband and wife to be angry or bitter with each other, but he intended marriage to be a holy and rewarding experience. If a marriage is approved by God then it will prosper; I have seen this for myself, not only in my parents' love for each other but in other members of my family and their families and children. My guess is that you haven't met many of these "freaks" as you call them, so it's natural that you would think they are the minority. Sadly, you're probably right. I personally have not yet been involved in a relationship; rather, I have waited to see what God has planned for me. If he decides that I should be single my entire life, I can live with that, but I can't say that I would relish the thought of it. I believe that if marriage is done correctly it can and will work, but only the way God designed it. Any dysfunction you find in today's society can be traced directly back to a perversion in God's design for human sexuality and relationships. But it was still interesting to hear your point of view and your reasons for being asexual.


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 8 years ago from New England Author

Well, it should be noted that my veiw of the world is taken from a non-religious stand point. I was raised with Christian values but never believed in Christianity... not even as a child going to church. This is a fact that's not going to change, however I respect and understand others who are. In later life I learned so much about the Bible that it just led me to believe that it's not what I was ever intended to believe. I refrain from writing what I have learned in that aspect in fear of retribution - not from God but from man. Thanks for the comment anyway, can't say I can see eye to eye on that opinion but at least I can respect it for being true to your heart. Have a lovely day. PS Being a "freak" isn't always a bad thing (in fact that word should be seen positively in most cases I think.)


crazytigeress 8 years ago

I also think dating is a pain in the but and for right now have no interest in being in a relationship.I agree that being a freak is not always a bad thing.I think of my self as a freak and am proud of it.Being a freak is so much more fun then being normal.


macu2004 7 years ago

when I started reading sadly I had to agree with all you said. Towards the end I still agreed with what you said or at least for the most part. I am 32 years old and I am married for the third time. I take care of myself and no. I don't market myself. I never looked for a "sugar daddy" but for the one person you can trust completely. I had my own "crazy thought" what let me to believe we all have. After all I am somewhat conservative in thoughts. I respect your believes and everyone elses believes. Who decides what's right from wrong? To make this short, I may never find what I am looking for in a man. I am OK with that, but it saddens me. why? because we train ourselves to be succesful with our careers. We discipline ourselves with our diets. We discipline ourselves with many things. Of course is a challenge but isn't everything else as well? unfortunaltly I can change a man neither I want to. But if we train ourselves to care for our relationships we could suceed as well and enjoy the gains. Not for fear to die along, who cares. In all honesty and I don't mean any disrespect, it's sad to hear from someone as intelligent as you (your thought process is great) that you rather not bother with woman. If just by writing your thought you are making a difference why not apply that to an intimate relationship. We can't stop riding bikes to avoid falling, and to watch who do to just witness their success or falior. Yes, you will avoid the hurt but you'll never get to feel the joy of riding. From "all" my marriages I have taken good memories. Some not so good. But for those that were good, made it all worth it. I am not perfect neither I think I will ever be, but in the mean time I will continue to try to acomplish it. As long as I do I will always be at my best. If I quit then I could justify all my wrongs. Good people do bad things justifiying them is just a way to buy ourselves excuses. I enjoyed reading from you. Thanks for your honesty. It helps to realize you are not alone.


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 7 years ago from New England Author

Hello macu2004. Thank you for reading my artcle and taking the time to comment. I wish to add that my life isn't void of meaningful relationships just because I refuse to dabble in romance. I have very rich deeply intellectual and emotional platonic friendships. That is all I need to thrive. To enter a relationship, for me, would be morally wrong unless it was with another asexual (slim chance of that!) It's like a gay man marrying a straight woman... or vice versa. The friendship part of their relationship could be rock solid but the sex thing is going to get in the way if one or both are either indifferent or repulsed by each other. Do you see what I mean? It's not myself I aim not to hurt, it's whoever wants to get involved with me! I'm actually female (don't let my masculine moniker fool you!) so finding a man indifferent to sex (and whose personality is a nice fit) seems quite impossible...

Have you ever connsidered changing your expectations of the 'perfect guy'? That might actualy be a lot easier then trying to achieve finding him! (Personally I don't believe in the perfect anything... I think this makes life less aggrivating when you see it that way.)

I don't know what you mean by making a difference but if you mean being supportive of another human being... I do that, just not with lovers, with friends. Thank you again for your input, you've given me some food for thought and an idea for a possible future article.


Millionheir 6 years ago

My friend, my eyes were literally watering from this article! Outstanding work, please keep writing!


Shep67 6 years ago

Hi, thanks for this article. I am also asexual, although I only recently stumbled across this term recently. I have referred to myself as simply celibate or 'option D-none of the above' (not gay, straight or bi). I have come to this perspective after having 3 children and various diverse relationships...but I have come to believe that my life as a solo entity is the one way I feel happy, safe, and whole/uncomplicated. I think my relationships did not ever work out because at heart I did not want to be in them, they were an imposition that I felt pressured by societal norms to accept. I still, after many years now, find myself fielding other people's disbelief or refusal to accept 'but you are an attractive woman, why don't you want sex?' as though sex is the one defining factor of a person's worth. pfffft!


RachaelLefler profile image

RachaelLefler 6 years ago from Illinois

It seems like what you have a problem with isn't sex, it's women. Which means, if I'm reading you right, based on the "Puritanical mother" thing, you're probably just a closeted homosexual who can't accept themselves as such, or are afraid that if you took on a "feminine" role as a gay man and had sex with men, men would use you and cast you aside and trample your feelings because to you that is just a part of male nature.

Or, you're just a sad, miserable, lonely person who's given up on their chance for coupled happiness because you were hurt by someone, making you permanently afraid of sex.

Either way, I think your position on things is too bleak and depressing and I think everyone wants to be in a monogamous relationship because then they have comfort, stability, support, someone to talk to, someone who understands them, and someone who's there when they need sex because, face it, we get older and chasing tail gets tiresome over time!

So, it's obvious that, gay, straight, bi, or whatever, we all want to be in a committed relationship with a person who can make us happy, and that there's way more to this than the simple, tireless pursuit of sex and novelty. Otherwise we'd never get married in the first place!

And, as for women caring about their appearance, it's because they want to feel beautiful, it has little to do with men.


RachaelLefler profile image

RachaelLefler 6 years ago from Illinois

Sorry, I assumed you were a guy...


RachaelLefler profile image

RachaelLefler 6 years ago from Illinois

I think it's because your comments about women seemed to come from such a total lack of understanding that I thought you had to be male to get women so wrongly!


i3rucei3ruce 6 years ago

Oh man, that religious nut Cybermouse is quite hilarious. There is no one I pity more in the world than he that claims to base his life around something that doesn't exist. Anyway, I enjoyed this and 'More Frank Observations" and I think I agree on many if not most of your points and ideas, yadda yadda yadda. I try to set aside time to dwell on the purpose of life and the random occurences that create their respective ideas of meaning in our minds, as do all people, I believe. I have never come more conclusive than that any sane person should simply do what makes them happy. I personally feel that procreation is something that could one day make me happy, but I've realized that I am indeed looking for companionship and love, but not sex, and might easily sit on a more asexual point from heterosexuality. Not that I ever made it a point to show otherwise, in this socially mandated facade of individually perverse sexualities. I'm 19, male, in good physical shape, and I've been on dates and realized early on it was all unnecessary bs. Spending time alone with someone(something I definitely desire along with an amazing girl- the well-read female that walks the talk is one of the hottest things, in my eyes) is likely a great way to form "meaningful" relationships, but much of the baggage of the average date is useless, time- and resource-consuming and in the end, like you implied, only serves to damage the prospective relationship.

Anyway again, thanks for the articles, as they've (somewhat ironically) served as dating advice for me.


ouch2112 5 years ago

sort of like deaf people making fun of musicians for loving music


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

To Theophanes: I am happily asexual. I have so many hobbies occupying my time. Yes, I know that sex is an important part of life. However, people can exist without sex and be quite content. I believe that modern society condemns people who choose not to be sexual. There are many asexual people who have quite fulfilling lives. This was a great hub.


iviskei profile image

iviskei 4 years ago from In your computer, stealing your internet.

Intersting hub, though as an asexual I can't say I agree with everything. Sure, many couples don't make that pretty little freak family you were reffering to, but I believe that is largely due to the consistant changes in culture.


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 4 years ago from New England Author

I didn't write this to be a guide of how other asexuals feel. To be honest I don't think my own sexuality has much to do with what I wrote here, except for the puzzling over sexuality part. I have always been a people watcher and I have always absolutely loathed seemingly purposeful stupidity and hypocrisy. My sense of logic is quite aside anything else. That being said this article was written in a satirical style. It is supposed to make you laugh (or think, or both.) I live in a small town where being a "freak family" IS what is expected of you no matter who you are. I find it stifling and can't wait until I can afford to move closer to civilization and tolerance of difference. Anyway, thanks for the comment and for reading!


AgainstBuckets 3 years ago

I really liked your open letter to asexual teenagers. As a fairly young asexual, still going through all of the confusion that comes when people tell me just how exactly I don't know myself, I really appreciate hearing from someone else who's gone through all that. Just yesterday, I had an older lesbian woman tell me that my asexuality didn’t exist and that I was sick. I loved your letter so much that I wanted to read more of your articles.

I found this one to be equal parts funny and disturbingly sexist, though, to men and women. Women, you brand stupid, for dressing attractively. I think the reason women complain about men harassing them based on what they wear is that men think they have the right to. Seriously, if an attractive man walked down the sidewalk shirtless, would that be a legitimate reason for a woman to throw him up against the wall and sexually assault him? No! You might appreciate the view from afar, or go over and talk to him, but that's a far cry from rape and sexual abuse. You'd never hear, in cases of male rape, that he was "asking for it", just because he was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a formfitting shirt. It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? You don't hear about women treating men as inferiors for dressing attractively, or taking them less seriously for wearing a good-looking shirt versus a tenty sweater out of the 90's. This is why it is problematic to call women stupid for not liking it when men harass them for dressing attractively. It's called respect, and there is no "male nature" that predisposes men to be incapable of respect or unable to keep themselves from acting like jackasses around a woman with a push up bra. Women are just as "visual" and just as sexualized. On a social level, they are just expected to be more polite about it. You do a disservice to men by implying that they are only interested in the visual or the sexual. The problem is called rape culture. It's called systemic and culturally endorsed sexism.

Men have their own share of sexism to deal with, helpfully demonstrated by the term you used to demean them: "pussified men." Seriously, what does that even mean? Your article implies that there are qualities, such as being emotionally supportive, and, you know, being interested in one’s partner for things other than their body—that are somehow relegated only to human beings with vaginas and breasts—that men should be demeaned for wanting or expressing. Similarly, even the insult says a lot about how you view women. It is literally saying there is something wrong or shameful about a man outside of what society says a man should be. It’s saying that there is something fundamentally lower about women, and qualities that are (somehow) “womanly”. It’s saying that man can be brought down low by being thought to express, in any way, “womanly” qualities. Yet, if a woman is masculinized, she is stronger/more intelligent/better?

People are people. Human beings –can’t—be separated and boxed into these arbitrary buckets of labels and designated characteristics. Shoving people into buckets limits them from a full experience of the world and other people. Instead of sorting out and understanding behavior to fit the mold/label, just observe and experience the world without passing judgment on it. If you think about it, it’s the same sort of policing that leads to us being discriminated against and policed for our asexuality.


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 3 years ago from New England Author

First of all thank you for commenting... I am sorry your comment got sent to my spam folder and I had no idea you wrote it until today. In any event I am happy you found encouragement in my letter and am sitting here smiling as I usually do when people accuse me of being sexist (and/or misogynist.) Look, I call it like I see it when I am writing satire (yes, that means I write a great deal of my opinions in a way that pokes gentle fun at things - it is supposed to make you laugh, not make you accuse me of perpetuating rape culture. Although thank you, if you think I am that important. I most certainly do not have that sort of sway over anyone!)

I am a happy individual who loves to people watch and you know what? I think we as a species, both male and female, are complete morons in our very special and unique ways. Rather then cry about this I make jokes. It's how I deal. When I say things like "pussified men" I am not making the argument that having emotions is a bad thing - quite the contrary! That was a reflection of the women I was talking about and how their ideals for men were preposterous (in that they seem to be looking for a mental/emotional chick with a dick, quite literally. Now this is not fair on men. Just like women they are free to be true to themselves whether or not they are chatty emotional creatures or more traditionally masculine.) I am sorry if the meaning was lost somewhere.

I'm not going to stop writing satire anytime soon and I am not a woman who will write of other women as if they are superior to men (and call it writing for equality!) Nor am I going to deny there is a difference in the sexes, whether we want to admit it or not. It's not just our bits and pieces that compose our gender but also our mind, our role in society, and some other factors. Women will always, as a group of study, be better at certain things than men and men, as a group of study, will continue to be better at some things than women. And eesh, wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the same? I don't put individuals in boxes but when I am making an observation on a whole group of people it's just easier to write it out that way, plus I fully admit when I wrote this article I was frustrated with social constraints and perhaps a smidge angry because I could never live up to "normal," even when I was desperately trying. I've grown since then... and LOVE being the black sheep. It's been a journey though!

In the meanwhile I continue to find social relationships that defy the words that allow them to be boxed. People come in such wonderful varieties! I will always celebrate that.

As an end note if my humor offends you... well, that's what satire sometimes does, and if it offends you enough then I guess you should just find something less gritty to read. Perhaps someday you'll come to appreciate my observations and life experiences or perhaps you won't. Either way I hope you can take a positive message away from my writing as I have never meant to be negative or demean anyone. Life's too short for such nonsense!

Thank you for such a long and articulate comment. I really do love it.


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 3 years ago from New England Author

Oh... I sincerely forgot. One cannot be sexist towards both sexes. That'd just be misanthropy - the hatred of humankind. (Although it's a harsh word I have come to love a great many characters who carry it like a badge. Lovable curmudgeons that they are.)

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