The new "in crowd"
No matter where we are
"In crowd" members always have time for hot chicks
Even the "in crowd" had grandparents who were always "in"
Aren't we cute?
People of the "in crowd" excel at everything
"In crowd" members are all over the world
Jazz piano great
Ramsey Lewis scored huge bucks in the early 60's with a tune called, "The In Crowd." I was not even a teenager yet, but I loved this song. Especially the piano.
It was easy to dance to and the beat was fantastic. (a personal salute to the late Dick Clark of American Bandstand).
What is the "in crowd"? Or my story today entitled, The New "In Crowd"? What? You thought that when the 60's faded into history that the people who were cool, smug, superior, laid-back, always right, always popular faded with them?
Not by a long shot. In fact, the "pioneer" "in crowd," Lewis sang about evolved into the new "In Crowd" of 2013 and do not tell me that you haven't seen them on television, movies and in in music.
I tell you. We of the older American's must be on our game to always know when "we" are being run out of our own backyard.
What I mean by that is that no matter what I watch on television, there one of the new "in crowd" is looking chic, speaking from the back of their mouths, shabbily-dressed and always cool no matter what they do or say.
it's enough to make you sick. That kind of physical sickness that comes with a night of partying with 12-year old Scotch and trying to out-drink and out-do your friends. Hangover isn't the correct word.
I would like to "school" you on how you can detect a member of the new "in crowd," if I may.
LANGUAGE USED BY THE NEW "IN CROWD"
"Like" is the most-used and most-grammatically-incorrect word they use on a daily basis. I hate this very word and agree with actor, Dan Akroyd that this word should be abolished from the English Language.
Example: New "in crowd" male: Hey, like, you want to, like, uhhhh, hurry up, like, I need to, like, be, like, at the studio, like in a like, half hour."
Notice how many times the word "like" was misused? And this pompass jackass just had to inject the word "studio," to impress common people like you and I to make us think that he is a singer or artist. He is neither. He lives in a low-rent studio apartment.
"Uhhh," or "Ummm," is many times used to say that the member of the new "in crowd" is stumped by a question that is asked to them.
Example: New "in crowd" girl: Uhhhh, like, you want to like, know if I, like, can answer, like, how much is, like, two plus, like, two? Uhhhhhhh, ummmmmm, uhhhhhhhh, like, uhhhhh . . .
The girl's lack of math skills is not to imply that she is stupid. Just so cutesy and cool that she never has to bother answering any question about anything.
Must be nice.
"Yeah" "Say what?" are used by new "in crowd" members just to appear cool and always popular.
APPEARANCES OF NEW "IN CROWD" MEMBERS
Men members are usually half-shaven or sporting a "five-o-clock" shadow.
New "in crowd" members' eyes are always squinted to show that they are always confused and amused at "us" of the lower rung of life.
Expensive leather loafers are worn without socks by the men members of the new "in crowd".
College affiliated t-shirts are worn by both sexes of the new "in crowd."
Girl members usually carry their laptop, ipad, or cellphone openly where all can see their devices that set them above average Americans like me. And for some reason, these people have graduated college, graduate school, got their degrees and still not working, but always have drinking money. You tell me where it comes from?
Girl and guy members of the "in crowd" always wear hipster glasses with huge black or red frames to say, "We are cool, popular, smug, and superior to all human beings."
PLACES FREQUENTED BY NEW "IN CROWD" MEMBERS
- Classy restaurants, but these people seldom eat. They just sip coffee
- Art museums to congregate with other new "in crowd" members
- Concerts in some city park with singers like Nora Jones, Bruno Mars and other chic singers who do not really sing, but groan their lyrics
- High-class parties at their high-class new "in crowd" friends' apartments where they sip only the finest of wines, dine on expensive cheeses and look smart
HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE NEAR A MEMBER OF THE NEW "IN CROWD"
You will be scowled at for not being dressed as nice as these "in crowd" people who wear designer boggans year around as well as Timberlake boots as to look the part of "cool" and accepted by all areas of society.
You will be interrupted by these callus, unmannered people who are of the new "in crowd" and make it look like it was your fault.
If you dare to ask the ticket merchant or store manager a question, be ready to be laughed at by the new "in crowd" members beside you who are laughing at your ignorance.
New "in crowd" members never talk above a whisper and mostly communicate with the sickening expressions of their faces. What happened to talking?
HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY COPE WITH MEMBERS OF THE NEW "IN CROWD"
- Stare at them eye-to-eye if they interrupt you. Do not worry. They are non-violent. Unlike street gangs who will take your head off and the authorities will not bother them, new "in crowd" members do not believe in fighting for any reason. Not to protect their freedoms or even their wives or husbands, sorry, I meant, "significant others."
- Do not show fear. This one thing is what "we" average people do to make the new "in crowd" seem more powerful. They are liken to sharks. If they smell your fear of them, you are in deep trouble.
- Be polite at all times. Show them respect and most times they will go about their pseudo-important affairs.
it would seem that I have a deep-rooted problem with the new "in crowd," and you would be right in that assumption.
Nowhere do I find written in any Bible or almanac, that any one one clique or sect of society is placed above the other and yet, the new "in crowd" insists that they are the better class of people.
A FEW MEMBERS OF THE NEW "IN CROWD"
- John Krasinski, who played the slacker, smug and superior, "Jim Halpert," on the Office
- James Franco. Watch him while he is interviewed on tlevison by Leno or Letterman. Franco just sits and grins that grin of superiority and acknowledges his fame and power
- Wll Smith, who has never played a role in any film that does not win.
- Blake Shelton. Yes, even Country Music has members of the new "in corwd." Notice how Shelton, when he emcees one of the thousands of Country Music Awards shows promoted by CBS, how he never says thank you for the honor of presenting another star with an award. Shelton loves to talk about Shelton.
- Jerry Seinfield. He is without argument, THE "king of smug, superiority and knowing everything that is to be known. If you disagree, watch his show that is now in retuns. He is like his own character in real life.
I could go on, but I do not have the time nor space.
And I am super-glad that I am not a member of this classless group called the new "in crowd," because I'd rather be average and happy than be smug, superior and always cool and be in some tacky group that says they are "it."
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