The Truth About PUA
What is the real story behind the community of professional pick-up artists?
The PUA community, a group of gurus selling various techniques to help men seduce women, has really emerged into the mainstream in the last few years.This article is basically my assessment of the actual value of PUA techniques, without the hype.
I make no attempt to teach PUA in this article, there are already numerous resources online which should give you the basics.
It is very difficult to find accurate information about the real worth of the PUA community's techniques for a variety of reasons.
Partly this is because it is very easy to make money selling techniques that help men get into bed with women. Virtually everybody has something to sell and consequently the power of pick-up techniques are exaggerated. (I am not personally selling any PUA technique and almost certainly never will).
An additional problem is the cult-like nature of PUA communities. The uninitiated are described as "AFC"'s or "Average Frustrated Chumps" as some extreme religous groups describe infidels or unbelievers. The gurus often try to break down the personality of the members of the community in a way which is very direct and aggressive, so a PUA mindset can be installed.As you not going to get a rational discourse out of a religous cult member about his faith, nor are you going to get much of a balanced perspective from PUA members.
However, when you strip all the nonsense away you find that there are actually some very good ideas involved in PUA thinking. But, as we shall see, there are serious limitations to the methods.
What can you get from PUA? Well, first, it should be recognized that PUA covers a range of techniques developed by different gurus many of whom loathe each other. However, it seems fair to use the term PUA since a sort of consensus has emerged in the community, whereby the best aspects of each guru's teaching are taken and incorporated together into a sort of single method. Whichever guru you follow, certain concepts come up again and again.
What PUA will NOT do for you, and is often portrayed as being able to do for you, will turn any one into some kind of sex God. PUA theory is actually most useful to guys who are utterly clueless about women. This is mainly because much of it is common sense. Most guys simply don't need to be told that they need to dress smartly, that they need to be fun around women, or that they need to be masculine, for example. Yet this stuff will often pad out seminars and books on pick-up. If this stuff is really helpful to you you must have been pretty hopeless to begin with.
Where PUA is actually most useful is in de-programming men of the misinformation they have received from Hollywood, the sexual revolution and well-meaning women about how to behave. PUA teaches you to be a man without being a jerk or a misogynist and for many, some aspects of this thinking do come as a liberating revelation.
This, I feel, is where the importance of PUA lies. Not so much as a technique to improve yourself but as a means of rediscovering yourself.
That said, I often feel some gurus often go too far. For example, some gurus state that buying a girl a drink is a bad idea. Certainly this is true in some cases. However, as someone who is relatively generous when buying drinks for both male and female friends I can honestly this makes absolutely no difference unless you are clearly buying the drink because you have a sexual agenda.
Once the basic principles of pick-up have been understood however, the battle is not over in your quest to become the next Don Huan. In particular, you are simply not going to get anywhere with women unless you approach them. There is NO way of doing this easily (for any women reading this, you should understand that for hard-wired psychological reasons approaching a women requires at least much as courage as going bungee-jumping). No technique really helps that much except previous experience.
Additionally, at least in the initial stages, you are going to get knocked back an awful lot by women who either just don't fancy you or are having a really bad day. Again, there is no way of dealing with this easily. No amount of theory helps with rejection.
It can be argued reasonably that any guy who gets past these two obstacles is going to be successful with women anyway.
In the subsequent stages of seduction PUA can provide you with quite a useful model. Explaining concepts such as "Shit-Tests" Last Minute Resistance or can be very helpful because most men (and even women) really have no idea why women do these things and how they should respond.
In summary: I feel PUA methods are primarily useful to those men who have had little or no success with women but of much less to men with average or good success with women. Without a strong motivation to succeed PUA is useless theorizing. Having said, it can provide an edge for someone who is mentally tough, willing to learn, take risks and not get too carried away by the madder excesses of the PUA community.
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