The wrong guy

There is a Dutch book that says that a wrong man or guy is like a gambling machine.

You invest a lot, but you’ll never or hardly get anything in return.

Women often fall for these wrong men. I’m no exception myself either. And it brings a lot of heartache and pain which can be hard to heal from.

But first I want to make a difference between a wrong kind of man and a problematic man. Difference? Yes.  

Okay they are both not easy to handle and both can bring a lot of heartaches but there really is a difference.

The wrong types of men differentiate themselves from problematic guys by not seeing that their behavior is unacceptable and don’t feel the need or necessity to do something about it and often say their partner is the problem, not them. The problematic types are willing to work on the problems and really want to change it. Those guys are often seeking help by going through therapy.

There is the man with commitment of fear, which distinguishes himself in the Don Juan, the lady hopper and the eternal bachelor. Other types are the jealous en possessive man, the tight-lipped and distant guy, the sexual pervert and compelling man, the violent and addictive man and the narcissist man and the psychopath

Are there wrong women too? Sure there are.

There are women that humiliate, manipulate, black mail, lie and cheat on their gentle guys. The only difference is that the poor guy next to her mostly is physically stronger and not depending on her financially and because of that he’s less isolated then women when they ‘’run into the wrong type of man’’.  

The business freak.

Ow there he is the flashy businessman with his tie and notebook and he looks great doesn’t he? His cell phone rings constantly because he’s ow so important. When he has you he takes you interesting parties and expensive restaurants, but you have to share him with his business partners with whom he’s in conference every day. The love for is note book is bigger than the love he’s showing you and he doesn’t even miss you for a day. The business type especially loves himself.

The pervert.

This guy is only interested in one thing and he has an excuse for it. ‘’ he’s a man so you have to understand his need for experiments in sex his sexual excesses, the porn you find on his pc his need to swing his thing webcam chat rooms and so on . A walking bomb of testosterone.

The money grubber

 He takes you everywhere and money seems to be growing on trees you even might wonder and ask yourself where he’s getting it all. Till one day he asks you if you can give him a small loan and before you know, you’re paying for everything and he’s losing the money all kind of things and you’ll keep paying for it.

The aggressive type

He won’t take no for an answer and at the slightest thing he can turn into a cursing volcano and you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t let his anger and frustration out on you by hitting you or worse. Before you know your home turns into a swamp of verbal or physical violence and you won’t recognize yourself anymore after a while.

Mommy’s boy

You’ll recognize this guy because he’s still living at home after he has turned 30. When you get involved with this guy there’s a big chance that you’ve gotten involved with a child instead of a man who’s always talking about “we” because he’s still taking interest in his mothers opinion and in his mothers alone. Everything outside his home is a possible threat. This guy doesn’t want to grow up.

 The Bounder

 He’s the guy who wants to impress with his nice car, his muscle or his cool outfit. When he has you in the palm of his hands he wants the same from you and before you know you’ll be in front of the mirror all day or have to go to the gym to fulfill the needs of him. And when it’s not good enough he’ll just exchange you for a better looking woman.

The computer freak

 This guy sits at his computer for days and loves games chatting and surfing on the net. He doesn’t like to go out with you; he rather hangs by his desk behind his computer. He sometimes even forgets to take a shower. When you do get him away from his desk, he often keeps on talking about the net and can start complaining about everything until you’ll give in and he gets his way and can crawl behind his computer again.

The life and soul of the party

He looks great but is a disaster. He doesn’t want to stay home with you to just hang on the couch with you. His circle of friends is so big that you are just a needle in a hay stack for him. This really sad guy loves the whole world, drinks his beers with his equals and rather watches football with “all of them”. With this life and soul of the party you’ll feel more alone than with anyone. He’ll notice you but never long enough and his attention goes to those who admire him.

The wimp

 The sweetheart is soft and pathetic at the same time and looks more like a nurse or servant than a man. You almost feel guilty when he brings you your tea and gives you a blanket when you are cold or just shiver. Communication will be hard because he will always say you’re right and give you your way. You will feel all kinds’ things but you won’t feel that you’re understood. He does everything for you don’t he? Well…

The possessive guy

He watches every move you make and reacts excessively jealous when look at another guy. He is suspicious and has low self esteem. The possessive guy is obsessed and looks at other guys as if they are competing with him for you.

The collector

He almost forgets he has a partner when he looks at his collection of dinky toys or collection of baseball cards or whatever collection he’s having. You’re always on the second place or even worse when he has more than one collection. He thinks you have to support him with this hobby otherwise you can move.

Mr. Scatterbrain.

His brains are chaos just as well as his look. He’s messy, careless and forgets everything. He doesn’t like rules, has little values, and doesn’t look at time. He doesn’t care if he forgets appointments he made with you and cares even less if he hurts you by forgetting important things. He seldom sees a barber and hates shaving.

The criminal

 Stay far away from this guy and if you do get involved, never help him with his “business”. Watch out for his friends and be careful if he goes out every night. It can be exciting but it will be less fun if the police are standing at your door every time.

The lady-killer

He’s always hunting, this insensitive lady-killer. When he’s got you with his romantic moves he is already looking for a next victim. He is shameless and tries to get every woman he’s charmed of. When he has played his game with you, he will break your heart and doesn’t care about you anymore.

Mr. Know it all

He’s always telling you what to do and how to do it. You’re way is the wrong way and you can’t let him believe you’re right sometimes too. He will put you down if you’re trying to let him see things your way. He will not understand you ever and will try to win by verbal battles or he will ignore you or your opinion all the way.

 The unpredictable man

He is capricious and gives you everything but security and trust. Just by the time you think you’ll know him, he’s changing radically. He’s able to change you into in an insecure person. There are two kinds of unpredictable guys; that who want nothing from you and doesn’t know what he wants and those who want it all at the same time. He doesn’t care if you get to be the victim of it all or about the consequences.

The oyster

You will never know what is on his mind because he doesn’t want to talk. He thinks talking is a waste of time and rather talks to himself in his mind. Don’t think he is boring because most of the oysters can lead an interesting and exciting life. This is the kind of man who will suddenly leave you or throws you out of the house and don’t expect he will give you an explanation for it.

 Man in power

He wants to control you, uses manipulative ways, is dominating and gives you commands instead of asking you. Mostly he also has this role on the job or in the family too and doesn’t care if you need self respect.

So that was it, I think. Bad enough isn’t it? Or can it get even worse? Maybe by saying that most”bad “guys are a combination of what I just wrote down. Maybe you’ll run into a lady- killing scatterbrain that is the life and soul of the party but is an oyster at home for example. It’s just too bad that a lot of women get permanent emotional, mental or physical damage when they run into a wrong guy and still a lot of us  have a go again at the one armed bandit  just because sometimes women run into just a problematic guy  and when we are lucky we’ll find mister right.