There Once Was Love

Empathy, kindness, forgiveness = love

Half of our we.
Half of our we. | Source

Love makes the world go around....

How many kinds of love are there?

Familial love is that of a parent for a child, child for a parent, sibling love, love of the extended family. That had lots of exercise in our family, as my mother was the 13th and last child in her family. My dad was one of three brothers, and my wife is the first of 15! How my sister and I ended up with just the two of us, I'm not sure.

"Puppy Love" which is often emblazoned on stuffed toys, is still poorly understood, except that it is characterized as being youthful and especially fragile. I remember having a crush on a sweet girl named Rose when I was probably 10 years old. I would ride by her home hoping she might be outside, and I even found a sticker with a picture of a beautiful rose which I stuck on the front fender of my bicycle as testimony to my affection.

"Love" as in the expressions "I love my job (car, timeshare, etc.) should probably be replaced by "I really like my.... ." The "really like" applies to other favored choices such as a favorite poem, song, band, movie, book, color, etc.

There is love of the gospel which, with or without the written text, can extend to a love of God, and the "I love my Savior" love. This kind of love equates closely with a person's love of country. I worked 20 years for my country, and I'm still dedicated to a love that wants it to be at least as good a place to be proud of when my 17 grandchildren reach their adult years.

Each year on Valentine's Day a portion of mankind takes a few moments to consider who will receive a gift of love, a beautiful card, flowers, a box of chocolates, even an engagement ring! Many of those gifts are tokens of "love"...though the engagement ring, if accepted, had better be a lot more than just a token.

And that brings us to the love shared (hopefully) between two individuals born into different families, even different cultures, and what characterizes that love. With half of legal marriages ending in divorce, and many couples choosing not to even tie a knot that binds, this traditional adult love seems at times almost an endangered species!

Of our five children, three have divorced, two of those have remarried, and one of those "second time around" marriages has also been abandoned.

Love seems at times to be a will-o-the-wisp, so elusive that some relationships, even married ones, last only a few days or weeks, and even some of those "lasted too long" according to one or both of the newlyweds.

My dad had the right idea for a honeymoon, and it wasn't a trip to Bermuda, Hawaii, or Disneyland either. He somehow convinced my mother to go canoeing with him on an extended trip down the remote Allagash River in northern Maine. [How remote? See the link below.]

Mom said this about that trip: "If I was ever going to leave your father, I would have left him then!" Had she done so, one of them would have had a very long walk back to anything approaching civilization! There was just their one canoe.

The "love at first sight" variety is perhaps the most difficult to explain, for what is it that in that instant of first meeting, seeing, exchanging a greeting, lights sometimes mutual fires of love that can last two lifetimes? Obviously "'til death do us part" was entered into with real devotion, and a love that stayed the course, for the two had become one inspite of all of life's and marriage's tests and trials.

My wife and I first met because I saw her riding up an avenue on a moped. I was so sure that I wanted to meet her, that I left an untouched glass of fresh lime juice I had just paid for, went to my car and was fortunate enough (for me) to catch up with her just as she parked the moped at her home. Now, 49 years later, she is still helping me to become the other half of "us."

For the other loves which fall short of the "happily ever after" ideal, some would contend that the original love was suffocated, killed, misdirected, even assassinated, or simply...like a failed garden... allowed to wither and die, a Puppy Love that went to the dogs.

Prince Charming and Cinderella seem a likely stretch of someone's vivid imagination, a good story, well told, about dreams that just might come true. If you are in that kind of a relationship, even if it's Princess Charming and Cindereddy, clue us in. Was it a Puppy Love that has lasted, a love at first sight that can answer the question why, or a relationship in which the love spark continues to set the forest on fire for a pleasing afterglow in the later years?

We would love to hear your answers.



Source

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Copyright 2012-2015 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.

Allagash, Maine 04774

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Comments 11 comments

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

The love from my youth we were forceably separated. I have regretted that all my life. It has taken me 40 years to come to terms.. It was my first real love. but I ave been in love since then.

Great Hub.voted way up

Debbie


Marla Neogra profile image

Marla Neogra 4 years ago from Parkersburg, West Virginia

Nice commentary. Thanks for the insight.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up, awesome and even beautiful! Why? Because any kind of love is in its own way beautiful even if short-lived. I thought the world would end if I couldn't be with my boyfriend in high school but you see the world survived and I went on to love another day. I will always have fond memories but then we all do. Being a child of two different cultures and Latvian so dear to my mom's heart she would have been devastated for me to marry a person who had nothing to do with Latvia etc. I married someone 20 years older to appease her, liked him enough and bring me some peace from strife. Life and love was good enough, Roman candles no and eventually we had such fights that I provoked cause I was so frustrated that I thought I'd kill him. He didn't deserve it but got caught up in it all. Only thing good that came out of this relationship was that I gained two very good and close friends - his sister and her daughter and I love them dearly and we still contact to this day. Now my second husband and I met eye to eye unexpectedly and he was suffering in a failed marriage and had two small children. For awhile everything seemed topsy turvy but we discovered such a love because we found out that we were true soulmates. Things settled down, we've been together since 1994 and I couldn't imagine loving anyone else - I've found my heart and soul a home. Then there is the love for my precious cat Sid and I believe he returns that love. Finally for me there is the greatest love of all that for the Lord and which always shines bright.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Love in all its permutations and combinations does indeed make the world go 'round. Thanks for commenting and adding to the Hub.


annart profile image

annart 4 years ago from SW England

Love can make you laugh and make you cry. It can hurt so much you don't want to live, but then it can raise you up to stupendous happiness. The best love is when you laugh and live and cry WITH your best friend, your confident, your lover, your mentor; it took me 3 misguided (to say the least) relationships to find the 'real' one - but thank goodness I found it, it was worth the wait! Voted up, useful and beautiful.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

annart: Seek and ye shall find. I'm so glad there are as many happy people as there are. We can all fall short, and then reach higher. I'm glad you both did.


Bonitaanna profile image

Bonitaanna 4 years ago from Oil City, PA

I enjoyed this post very much. The main reason is because Love, itself, is what I have been searching for most of my life. With being raised in a family with very little or no love, and then marrying someone who I thought loved me very much, but it turned out he was dogging the draft and that was his way of getting put at the back of the line for Vietnams front line. We stayed married for 24 years which was a miracle, only because I did not want to have my children by different fathers, and I wanted three. Also because I gave him 18 years after the third child to change his attitude and get rid of his addiction! When my youngest was 18 that was it. There were no changes and he still had the addiction, which caused violent moments and I ended up being the one hurt. After divorcing, I met a wonderful, kind, tender man, I believe God had a lot to do with it, because I sat down and made a list of what I wanted in a man and presented it to God. He brought me everything on the list except he spoke 8 languages but did not speak english. It took a year and we were commucating very well. Amazing how different a relationship can be. We have been married 22 years and still going strong. Love is what makes the world go round. We are both a romantic as we are both singers. When you sing, you have to be passionate in order to connect with an audience. Our love for God shows in our music. Sam is a christian Rabbi and a wonderful person. I really feel fortunate that God sent me such a wonderful person to share my life with. B..........


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

I think the Comments so far are as important as the Hub, for all are comments on Love as a primary goal in all our lives. There are indeed different kinds and we all explore our hearts to understand them.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Bonitaanna: Life and love are journeys. We are learning all along the way, and as we learn and grow the hills have different challenges, vistas, and valleys. We travel different paths, but we can share the experiences to ease the journeys of others. Have a wonderful weekend.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Updated today November 17, 2014.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 21 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Love's many forms haven't changed, but this had a minor update today, February 16, 2015.

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