Things Men Can Do to Make a Hot Girl Even Hotter With Anger

Why is it when girls fight, we call it a “cat fight,” and when guys fight we call it a “slug-fest”? Different strokes I assume.

That’s today’s topic. Fighting, but not with fists, but with “verbal jabs and vocal upper-cuts,” thrown by a quick-mind and fast mouth. Something I have been involved with and friends, speaking to guys, you do not want to be a part of a “Female Flogging,” even in the least part.

I said that to warn guys who think that they can handle “the gals,” and “keep ‘em in line,” as the “Ol’ Boys of an Ancient America,” were prone to say.

Another reason that I said what I said in the beginning of this piece was to tell you about this certain guy that I knew years ago while in school.

This guy whom we will refer to as, “Frankie,” walked, talked, and had “that” smart-alec swagger. Able to muscle his way in and out of whatever he wanted. Tough wasn’t the word for “Frankie,” who in the 12^th grade, started dying his hair to darker shade of black—I suppose to make him look younger and meaner.

“Frankie,” was so proud of himself and how no one pushed him around that he invented his own philosophy about girls: “I can make any pretty girl so angry on purpose that when she cools off, she will be crazy about me,” he would crow to his gang of cronies at recess. Or anywhere someone would listen to his loud mouth.

His almost-legitimate theory was this: If a guy treats a girl like dirt, the more she will love him. What? Even in 1971, this was hilarious. But “Frankie,” told his ignorant thinking with a straight face.

Funny thing. “Frankie,” the “Philosopher,” never shared any of his female conquests, just the ones he intentionally upset. We all shared one word to describe “Frankie,”: Idiot. Note: I put his theory to the test once. And got my tail chewed like a hambone by a hungry wolf. Keep in mind that I used his information “once.” No more.

But one day, without “Frankie,” realizing what was going on, I was listening to him from a place where he couldn’t see me and man, did I get some valuable information. Priceless gems of masculine treasure. I got a lot of the ways he would treat every pretty girl that he met, and how they (were supposed to) worship and adore him when they were in a settled mood.

So to all of you male “Frankie’s” out there . . .this is a list of . . .

“Stupid Things Men Can Do to Make The Hottest Girl Hot With Anger”

1. Tell the pretty girl that she could “stand” to lose a few pounds in her butt.

2. Spew water through a straw into her face while he is listening to someone else at the dining table.

3. Intentionally trip her when she is in high heels.

4. Tell her to change into a bigger dress for the one she is wearing is way too tight.

5. Mention that her pantyhose are wrinkled—but you know already she isn’t wearing any.

6. At dinner order just for yourself.

7. At the same dinner, you pay just for yourself.

8. When you and your pretty girl date are riding through town, tell her to, “lay down in the seat,” for you don’t want anyone to see you with her.

9. In the spring when you visit her place and see the scarecrow in her garden say, “Did you model that scarecrow after yourself?”

10. Doze off in the middle of her sharing her feelings.

11. When on date with this “doll,” suddenly stop the car and run into a drugstore. Return with a bag full of make-up. Then say, “This is for you. Looks like you need more than you are wearing.” Then wink and continue to drive down the street.

12. When she isn’t looking, place a used condom in her purse and after she finds it, accuse her of cheating on you.

13. Hold your nose when she invites you into her home and tell her that her place smells of filth.

14. Tell her often, “Hey, you are lucky to have me.”

15. Tell her this often as well, “A lot of girls would love to be where you’re at.”

16. Tell her after each spat that it was all “her” fault.

17. At dinner, after three bites, tell her, “You’ve had enough. You are getting too fat.”

18. When introducing her to your pals, say, “She actually ran after me so much that I showed pity on her and asked her out.”

19. Then say, “No, I didn’t “ask” her out—I told her she was going out with me.”

20. At a silent moment in the car, throw a realistic rubber snake into her lap.

21. When you slow-dancing, suddenly leave her to dance with another girl.

22. At Christmas, do not get her a gift. And complain that your gift from her isn’t expensive enough.

23. At another dinner in a swanky restaurant, eat your soup by picking up the bowl and slurping it.

24. At the movies, make insulting remarks out loud about the actors.

25. For her birthday, buy her a crab tree seedling, not a feminine gift as she expected.

26. Make it a point at her place, your place, or anywhere a mirror is accessible, to look at yourself so much that you do not hear her talking.

27. At dinner (in a restaurant where you “are” welcome), when you sit down, tell her she needs to go back home and change dresses for she looks “out of style.” Then offer to pay half of the cab fare for her.

28. Intimidate her into arm wrestling in a crowd.

29. When she exits her house or apartment to get in your car, you stand beside your door and say, “Think you can get my door for me?”

30. If you and this angel are married and you have been doing these things, tell the marriage counselor who will surely be visited by you and your wife, you say, “What am I doing here?”

    Note: I urge none of you “Frankie” wannabe’s, to not try any of these things on your date or steady girlfriend.

    And if you do, you had best be two things: Wealthy and as good-looking as George Clooney.

    Coming soon . . .”10 Things I Hate About The F.B.I.”

Dear Followers and Non-Followers for taking the time to read this hub.

Sincerely, Kenneth