Things That Girls Hate to See a Guy Do

"I am amazed that you did that."

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Hey, guys!

Want to hear “the” understatement of the month? “Girls are special.” And the more I think of those three words, the more I believe this statement. Besides newborn babies and cuddly Collie puppies, girls are without question the definition of the word “special.”

I did not start my story with this acclamation about females to just “make points,” with the female writers and editors who work for HubPages, or the female writers who are part of my following. Many is the time I just speak from the heart.

Girls have a sharp sense of taste in men, cars, jobs, clothes, homes, food, and friends--whereas us guys are happy as long as we have hot-wings, ESPN and women who love us for us. (Me putting women in third place just goes to show you just how unthinking I can be).

"Did you just do that, 'Ned'?"

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"You are simply insane, 'Ted'!"

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We men "just" have to do certain things

Men somehow, for some reason, blame it on genetics I guess, have this aching, burning desire to “do” things in front of girls we are going with, engaged to, and those we just seemingly need to impress.

Stupid as it sounds, I am right. I know. I could have (by now) written a long line of books that would easily be on The New York Times Best-Selling List of things I have done to impress girls, both whom I wanted to date and those I were dating.

Some things worked. Some did not. Right now, I do not know which I would have written about. Probably the things that failed—for people for the most part, love to read about failure and people who fail. This is just part of what I took from 23 years working in the weekly newspaper business.

"I am so embarrassed thanks to you!"

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"Unbelievable, the things guys do that I hate."

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"I don't have a boyfriend. I have a circus clown."

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"My word. How inappropriate."

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"You did whhhaaattttt?"

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Below, as you who are familiar with my hubs know, is a defining-list of

“Things That Girls Do Not Want to See Guys Do,”

And this is a family-friendly list, so do not tell your kids to go online and do research on some bogus topic just to get them to leave the room while you read this.

  1. Picking them up to go out in a car that backfires and smokes like a forest fire.
  2. Walking with them down the sidewalk, into a restaurant or in her house and the guy’s pants are unzipped.
  3. Belching—no matter where, private, public, driving, after eating or just by habit.
  4. Never checking their nose hairs to see if they need trimming.
  5. Standing on their heads, literally, in public, to show the girlfriend how athletic they are.
  6. Getting into a fiery argument at a restaurant with a waiter who smiles at their girlfriend.
  7. Getting into a fight with the manager of the same restaurant for asking, “Is there a problem here?”
  8. Begging the girlfriend to get bail money to get them out of jail for being arrested for disorderly conduct and assault in the restaurant where all of this started with a simple smile given a pretty girl by an appreciative waiter.
  9. Scratching their privates in public like a stray dog.
  10. Coughing and hacking in public or private to dislodge something in their throat.
  11. Filling their mouths with food while dining and then trying to talk about a job interview they had.
  12. When they go with girlfriends to shop for dresses, they over-act how “bad” she looks in that dress—making loud, foolish remarks just to get people to laugh. This is showing their girlfriends just how non-supportive they really are.
  13. Aggravating or irritating their girlfriend’s pet cat, dog, iguana or hamster.
  14. Doing awful celebrity impressions in public places. Please, guys, respect your girlfriend’s dignity. Do your awful celebrity impressions in private.
  15. Doing inappropriate things to their girlfriends while dining in a restaurant. (e.g.) touching them gently on their leg underneath the table pretending to be a spider. Talk about immature and juvenile.
  16. Talking more to an old college buddy that he has ran into while on a date with his girlfriend.
  17. Falling asleep while watching a romantic movie with their girlfriend.
  18. Snoring like a bull while sleeping during a romantic movie with their girlfriend.
  19. Telling pure, out and out lies, the first time he meets the girl’s parents to try to impress them in just how industrious he is and how many hours he puts in at work.
  20. Giving his girlfriend an empty-compliment just to get her to not talk to him during the World Cup competition.

Lastly . . .

Him reading this award-winning piece to his girlfriend as if she cannot read.

Coming soon . . .”How to Make a Driving Instructor Miserable.”

"And you are an intelligent guy?"

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Comments 16 comments

moonlake profile image

moonlake 2 years ago from America

I like your list here's a few more that I think a man should do or not do.

No ear hair

Clean and neat everyday, ironed clothes

finger nails clean

Smelling good

Not using the F word

No bad breath

Not making fun of people

Voted up.....


old albion profile image

old albion 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Kenneth. Great research and very deep thought from you here :) I enjoyed it.

Graham.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

You forgot picking your nose and farting! Glad you covered the scratching thing. Girls hate that!


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Everything you listed is definitely a turn off for me. I know I can't change a guy or his bad habits, but if he did any of those things and couldn't learn to stop after I mention it once, he'd be on my list of guys to never date again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Moonlake,

Thank you for stopping by. And thanks for the two other nasty things that guys do that girls hate.

I knew going in that this was going to be a limited list, but I gave it my best shot.

Come back and visit anytime.

Thanks for your comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, graham,

Thank you for your input to this hub. Glad that you enjoyed this. I hope I can do more that you and my cherished-followers will like.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, bravewarrior,

And a warm thank you for your comments. Without my followers, I am nothing.

Come back and visit often.

God bless you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, Sheila,

It is so nice to read from you again. Have have you been? Good I hope. I appreciate you taking time to read this piece and leave me such a poignant comment.

Come back anytime.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Really I had no idea. My poor poor wives :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Eric,

Sorry, but there ARE some things that girls really hate.

You know. When they curl up their pretty little noses and say,

EWWWWW.

That means I hate this.


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee

Good list! And they should all be on it!

A few more behaviors I never could stomach: 1. picking their nose. 2. boasting about their prowess with the opposite sex. 3. Acting like I'm a feminist in order to excuse their cheapness or laziness to open a door (an automatic "don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you" mistake!). 4. driving in a Chevy Vega and expecting me to believe they actually have any experience in high-paying jobs - I guess this one falls under your obvious lies section, but still had to mention it. 5. attempting to pressure me into boarding the plane to visit his Prince in Dubai, all expenses paid. Sorry, I was born on a day, just not yesterday.

Very humorous Hub, Kenneth, thanks for sharing!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 2 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you Kenneth for such fantastic hub, I agree also thanks for being a follower, I appreciate you. Godspeed, creativeone59


bewhary profile image

bewhary 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

Kenneth - You had me at "Girls are Special".. Some of us are more "special" than others.. just saying.. :)

I'm not CRAZY - I am just a little "special"...

Truthfully? This made me laugh.. and made me wonder what I have been wasting my time on the past few years! We don't expect guys to be perfect.. heck WE are not perfect, but perfection comes in many forms and varies in the eyes of the beholder. I am willing to overlook many things however, if I feel securely and monogamously loved...

Thank you for the Friday morning chuckle! Your hubs provide many of those.. :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Bethperry,

I had a blast just reading your comment. Very funny. I should have let you co-write this hub. I am serious. Thank you sincerely for stopping in to see me.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

God bless you, creativeone59,

for your warm comments. I appreciate you very much. Have a blessed day and come back anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, bewhary,

You are so sweet as to leave me such a great comment. I am humbled by your warm heart.

And thank you for telling me that you got a laugh out of this.

But truthfully, I know some guys who used to do some of these things and NO, I was not one of them.

If I were blessed to get a date, I was so happy that I would have walked on fire coals if the girl had wanted me to.

I was that appreciative of females.

And still am.

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