Things That Most Men Think About
"Yes, sir. I do love my hammock."
Man's thought processes
it's not difficult. Fact is, it's comical. Men and women are wired differently, thus they think differently. Between the two, if I were a gambling-addict, I would lay you 20 to 1 that men have the most-outrageous, strange and thoughts that are really "out there."
Thank you for stopping by, and now let's explore "What Most Men Think About."
"Ahhh, relaxation. My wife says I'm lazy. I am really into relaxing. She gets confused."
- "Man, I wish now that I hadn't bet that thousand on the Jets."
- "Carol will flip when she learns that I lost a thousand dollars that we didn't have?"
- "Did the boss just call me to his office?"
- "Kathy looks good today. Bet she had a wild weekend--she is limping."
- "Should I tell my priest about me losing the thousand dollars?"
- "I bet Kathy never bets."
"Wonder how I will get home?"
- (man to the right is thinking these thoughts) "I love to drink beer."
- "Beer gives such a boost in confidence and since I am a "man about town," if you know what I mean, well, the ladies love me more for drinking."
- "Where is that chick, Tammy, who came on this picnic with me anyway?"
- "Wheww, breaking-up with Melodie was the best thing I ever did--man, I am not a domesticated dog. I am a wild dog. Wooooo."
- "Wonder if Tammy got lost in the woods? She said she needed a restroom."
"Five-hundred dollars for this dump-of-a-motel! My husband sucks at managing money."
And now, a special guest
a "today's woman," independent, empowered, strong. She wanted to share with us what she thinks about most of the time . . .
- "Why does Hal insist on going to Utah for our yearly-vacation? If I say anything, he will get all defensive and sull-up for days."
- "I smelled a woman's perfume on Hal's shirt last night. Hmmm, I wonder. Naaah. He's too dull to have an affair."
- "I came up a thousand-dollars short in my monthly checking account balance--now where did that money go? I know it wasn't Hal. I don't give him any money."
- "I am so happy that Sheila noticed that I have lost ten pounds. I will look better than her in a two-piece this summer."
- "Was the mailman coming-on to me this morning when he winked at me as he handed me the bills?"
"I'm lost, but I am smiling to show that I am not afraid."
On a weekend get-away
- "Do I really look retirement age?"
- "That waitress was really cute, but my wife was watching my every move."
- "Maybe if I used some of that men's hair dye I saw on television."
- "Naaah, an old guy and a young girl. Never work. And I cannot afford Viagra."
"I am really married. Does that mean forever?"
During a newlywed-crisis
"I feel so trapped. I can run with my frat brothers, hang-out. What have I done?"
- "Settle down . . .the preacher said I would have thoughts like this."
- "My little wife sure has a sharp tongue. I was only telling her how my mom cooks stew."
- "I can't breathe. Fool! No one can hear me."
- "Am I paranoid? I feel as if someone is writing about me."
- "I'm married. No more strip clubs, beer fests. Oh, God! My life is over!"
"Thank God for my scholarship--I am a lousy soccer player."
- "I am having a ball--partying all of the time, girls, what a life."
- "I can understand it. I failed Phys Ed. People think I am a fool."
- "So boring here. All of my frat brothers are gone for the weekend."
- "I hate being broke."
- "I can't wait to graduate this dump. Then I will be on my own--doing what I want, when I want and hey, my girl, Toni, is so hot. I think I will marry her," . . .
yeah, man! Real life . . .this boy cannot wait!"
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