5 Things Women Hate To Hear

By the time a woman has reached the age of thirty, she's discovered an unfortunate pattern with the majority of men and the asinine turns of phrase they use. The first few times she heard these stupidities, they probably didn't bother her overmuch. The 1000th time was probably well annoying, and the man in question probably didn't see her knee coming until it was too late. Save yourself, and your boys, by avoiding the following phrases. Actually, you'd be better off avoiding the sentiments altogether.

1. Are you going to eat all of that?

All of what? This meal that consists of fewer calories than the one you're stuffing your face with? Hmmm. Yes, I guess I am. Since you clearly think I shouldn't, I'm leaving you here to dine alone; I'll just go on home and change into the frumpiest clothes I can find, grab the spare box of chocolates I hid in the bedside table, plop my presumably fat arse down on the sofa and watch Bridget Jones' Diary 36 times. And when I'm through reminding myself that there are better men than you in the world, I shall go to sleep on our gigantic king sized bed and you'll be sleeping on the sofa.

2. Is is that time of month?

Unless she's actually holding a box of tampons in her hand when you ask, don't be a smartarse. Just because we're annoyed with you for constantly piling the sink up with dirty dishes and never cleaning them; just because we're tired of you forgetting our birthday every single year; just because we're tired of missing every TV show because you want to watch "the game" does not mean we are PMSing. And if we do happen to be PMSing when you ask something this stupid, be clever enough to out of knee's reach.

3. Your sister/mother/best friend is a bitch.

Careful with the bitch word, and careful with any put downs involving her friends or family. I don't care if your woman absolutely detests her sister, don't call her a bitch; not even in private unless you are super duper certain your woman will be cool with it. Yes, this is a double-standard. It's also just how it is.

4. I don't complain when you leave the seat down.

No, you don't complain when we leave the seat down. And do you know why? Because we're the ones who clean the seat and everything else surrounding it. Do not use stupid excuses like this. The person who cleans the toilet is the person who gets to determine the appropriate state it should be in. If you want to leave the seat up, start cleaning the toilet yourself.

5. Isn't there anything else to eat?

Tired of our cooking? Tired of eating the same thing every day? Here's an idea -- cook it yourself! Better yet, take us out to eat and then you can order something perfect and we won't have to clean up after you!

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Comments 15 comments

Ebower profile image

Ebower 5 years ago from Georgia

Haha So true! I voted this up and awesome.


Emeigh 5 years ago

1. Never tell women to calm down

2. Never make a woman do what she Never want's to do

3. Never make her change her personality

4. Never tell a woman what to do it will piss her off

5. Never Ever make rude comments on what she is wearing

These are things that probably will piss a woman off so do NOT do them the one on never tell a woman to calm down only tell them to calm down sometimes.


@MagicBoy profile image

@MagicBoy 5 years ago from Qatar

Very witty, kept me laughing all the way through. .Cheers


Mike 6 years ago

"Careful with the bitch word" NO male should ever use a derogatory term for any woman or any part of her anatomy however I have to admit, I do not mind double standards in this area so women can call us whatever they want and they can call our anatomy by any term they want. After all, it is really true that a lot of males are just---PRICKS


pb3131 profile image

pb3131 6 years ago from Amherst, MA

I like this - makes some of us look pretty good in comparison.


Countess Batula profile image

Countess Batula 6 years ago from Cranbourne

I would like this to have been a 10 things not to say to a woman hehehehe


Brian  7 years ago

As seen on :"Tooltime", there is on the market, a self-lowering toilet seat. I plan on buying one for my second marriage.


housedad profile image

housedad 7 years ago from New York

You need to find a better class of men ... :o)


williamblake profile image

williamblake 7 years ago

nice i try this


Haute Coco profile image

Haute Coco 7 years ago from Georgia, USA

AMEN!! WOO!! (CLAPPING WILDY IN FRONT OF MY OBNOXIOUS HUSBAND)


shadowlock9 profile image

shadowlock9 7 years ago from Weed

um just for the recoered we arnt alll this stupid , but i do admit to have an off day , as certin gentalia remind me when i dont see the knee coming , ow ow ow ow ow , btw i do do the dishs and clean the tolit , i still put the seat down its polite

p.s most of us are though this is a sad truth


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

LOL, wonder if men will ever get this right!


Montana Farm Girl profile image

Montana Farm Girl 7 years ago from Northwestern Montana

omg, hilarious and sooooooooooooooooooo right on!!!!!


Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 7 years ago

This guy you're describing sounds like a jerk.... or is this intended to be the every man? :)


Lucey Knight profile image

Lucey Knight 7 years ago from North Richland Hills, Texas

Great Hub!

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