Things to Remember When Cheating on Your Partner
While I would never be an advocate for infidelity, reality is what it is. Cheating happens everyday, all over the world. People do it for many different reasons- they are unhappy, no longer satisfied, for revenge, or just simply because they can. The list could go on forever. But, there are some important things to remember when one gets in this type of sticky situation, a situation that can often cause more pain than pleasure in the long run.
Cheating requires a lot of deception- so the first thing to remember when cheating is to destroy all evidence! This includes text/picture messages, letters, incriminating photos, ingoing/outgoing calls, receipts, and so on and so forth. The reason for this is so that one's indiscretions are not exposed in the stupidest manner! While this may seem like common sense, it appears to be the number one way people get caught. One friend of mine found explicit text messages in her husband's phone; another found naked pictures of her boyfriend's mistress in a box laying around the house.
The next thing to remember, is to be coordinated! When juggling more than one activity, a plan is required. Just like dropping the kids off at their various activities. Coordination is required to figure out who is picking up/dropping off; what location are they going to; what time do they need to be there. The same can be said for juggling three (or more!!) people. It is imperative that dates, times, and locations are discussed and agreed upon. Otherwise, it's possible to end up with two lunch dates at the same place and at the same time- very uncomfortable!!
Another thing to remember is to remain the same. Sudden changes in one's personality, appearance, or attitude are often dead giveaways that something is going on. Things like suddenly working out when physical fitness was never a priority; suddenly "working late," when the work day has always ended at 5 o'clock; not answering the phone or turning it off, when it is usually attached to a hand. All are signs that things may not be what they seem.
Something else to remember is that the mentality required for cheating is not the same as just being in a relationship. It has to be known and acknowledged that what is being done can be detrimental to your relationship, and sometimes even detrimental to your health. It also has to be assumed that this person will not leave their spouse or significant other, and if confronted about the situation, the "other person" will surely be the one to go.
The last and most important thing to remember is that cheating changes the very aspect of who you are as a person. It can lead to a loss of family, of career, or of oneself. No matter the reason for the affair, this change will always occur, and one has to be prepared for the consequences of those actions. If you are a person who cheats just because you can, then you loose your heart and your ability to truly care for people. If you are cheating because you are unhappy, you will continue to be unhappy because the person you are cheating with is a constant reminder of what you wish you had. And cheating for revenge, that just makes you bitter- because it is not something you truly wanted to do, but something you felt you had to do to even the score- one hurt for another.
As I said in the beginning, I am in no way, shape, or form an advocate for cheating. It is a selfish act, one that can cause your partner a lot of pain (they will be changed forever as well). But, if you are going to cheat, there should be no misconceptions about what has to be done to do it successfully.