This Thing Called Love
Ready For Love
I've been doing a lot of thinking about love and what it all means, and I've come to a couple of conclusions. At this point in my life I don't want anything less than true love. I've "dated", I've been in a serious relationship, I've met some interesting guys, But at the end of the day the one thing that stays on my mind is love. I was in a relationship that lasted almost thirteen years. It wasn't bad, but we weren't on the same page, and I wasn't about to spend another thirteen years in uncertainty. So I made a hard decision to set us both free. Now he was hurt and bitter, and in some ways probably still is, but I feel that I made the right decision. Yes, it meant hurting someone, but I think it would have hurt us both more if I had stayed. I love and respect him as a person, but the truth of the matter was that we tried as best as we could, until we both got too comfortable and stopped trying. After spending so many years together I couldn't continue without marriage in sight. I didn't want to get married out of a sense of obligation or duty. When I get married, I want to get married because we really and truly love each other, can't live without each other, and because God brought us together.
So after my relationship ended, I "dated" a little. I had some fun, but it just left me wanting a lot more. I made a really tough decision to step back from the dating scene and just breathe. I'm not expecting things to be perfect when I do get in another relationship or eventually get married, but I know exactly what I want. I want a TOTAL connection, mind, spirit, and eventually the body. I got tired of meeting guys with the same lies, excuses, games, and drama. I want something different, I want something that's real. I'm at the point of my life where either it works or it doesn't, no need to play games or argue or anything else. I'm keeping my eyes and my heart open to whatever comes next. I'm leaving my next relationship up to GOD, because I know that He knows best, He's the best matchmaker, and that He'll guide me in the right direction if I trust Him. I don't know for sure what's coming next, but I'm gonna prepare myself in the meantime.