Top 10 Wrong Reasons for Being in a Relationship

Getting into a Relationship for Wrong Reasons

Are you someone who moves from one unhappy relationship to another? Then that is probably because you got into the relationship for the wrong reasons.

Recently a girl I know confided to me that she had been into more than two dozen relationships but so far have not been able to find the ‘man of her dreams’. Being in love is an amazing feeling but not all relationships survive. Many relationships end faster than it started. This is because many people get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. Falling in love for all the wrong reasons can result in not only a broken heart but much pain and sorrow that it may even affect future relationships. I can understand a teenager wanting to fall in love out of the fascination or excitement of the concept or feeling of being in love. But it is so sad to see many men and women even getting married for the wrong reasons only to end up in a serious break up or divorce.

What are some wrong reasons for liking or falling in love with someone? Given below are top 10 such wrong reasons for being in a relationship.

Top ten Wrong Reasons to Like or Get into a Relationship with Someone
Top ten Wrong Reasons to Like or Get into a Relationship with Someone | Source

Top 10 Wrong Reasons to Be in a Relationship

There are many wrong reasons why people want to fall in love or get into a serious relationship or marriage. Given are top 10 such reasons.

1. Loneliness and Desperation: Majority of those who get into a relationship for the wrong reasons fall into this category. Many people tend to feel worthless or lacking something when they are single or lonely. This emptiness and desperation to be treated as special make them get into relationships fast only to regret later.

2. Friends: Many times guys and girls get into relationship because of friends. If some are been lured into relationship by friends so that they can do things together some get into it because they do not want to miss out on the game of love when their friends are enjoying it. Many people tend to think ‘Everyone else have someone, why not me?’ Such relationships where friends are the motivation are mostly short lived.

3. Distraction from Problems: It is a very common thing to get into relationships to avoid or forget problems. Victims of Bad Parenting are often seen getting into such relationships as a means of escape. Also many people are seen immediately jump into a new relationship after breakup from a long term Relationship on Rebound to forget the pain and loneliness caused by the breakup. Such Relationships may bring passion, purpose and excitement in the short term, but fail to survive as they are not based on love.

4. Pressure to settle down: Many times elders in the family exert pressure to settle down by getting married especially after a certain age. I have even seen mothers getting worried because their daughters could not attract any guys towards them. Relationships for the sake of society or because of desperation because everyone says you should often do not stand the test of time.

5. Need for/to Support: Many Guys and girls look for support by getting into relationship. Especially there are many girls even in this modern age that cannot stand on their own and look for support from father, brother or husband all the time. Many who get into relationships are on the lookout for someone who would take care of them. This can be the opposite too. A need for being a support or to have someone who would depend on can also prompt people to get into marriage or serious relationships.

6. Need of Physical Intimacy: For many people the motivation for relationship is Sex or Physical intimacy with the Partner. Desperation for Sex can many times result in jumping into the sack with the wrong people.

7. Getting into Relationships out of Sympathy/Guilt: Many people get trapped into relationships out of sympathy or guilt. I recently got a mail from a girl who got into a relationship because the guy tried to end his life when the girl rejected him. She is unhappy and depressed and wanted a way out without hurting the Guy. Such relationships can make one feel trapped and unhappy.

8. He /She is a Challenge: Many times people try to win over others because they are unavailable and presents a challenge. Winning over such a person is a triumph and such a person would be a prize Trophy to show off.

9. Caught Up In The Moment: Many times Guys and Girls get caught up in the moment. What they thought attractive a short while ago does not appeal to them anymore as they were impulsive at that point of time. That is why we see make breakups within days, weeks or months.

10. Convenience: Many times people get into relationships just because they find it’s Convenient. While in college I had a friend who was in a relationship with a Restaurant and Coffee Shop owner and used to take friends there and we never had to pay a dime for all the fantastic dishes we ate there. Once the college was over the relationship broke up. Some other reasons can be that the person has a swimming pool, car etc which can be used or borrowed.

I am not telling that some people who start their relationship on the right note do not fail in their relationship or does not fall out of love, but the chances of relationships break down are more in the case of those getting married for the wrong reasons. Have you ever liked someone or got into a relationship just for the sake of it for any of the above reasons? Are there any other reasons you would like to add to the list above? Feel free to add them through your comments.

© 2011 Anamika S

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Comments 31 comments

Sam Sonet Smith profile image

Sam Sonet Smith 3 years ago from Rockville, Maryland

Wanted to encourage your significant other to get in shape and Get Healthy. Wanted your Significant other to stop letting her religious views of dating interfeer with your relationship. Only felt attracted to her if she was sleeping with you. Orriginally were attracted to her but not attracted to her anymore. You orriginally thought it was a good idea for the relationship if she said she would have sex with you if you were married. You believed you could encourage your overweight significant other to lose weight. These are mistakes I need support with on my girlfriend right now.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Great top wrong reasons for being in a relationship!

There is not anything wrong with having a handsome or bautiful partner, but this alone is not a good reason to remain. Love. commitment, and good character should be there also.

Fear of moving on or not finding another partner may prompt someone to stay in a relationship with the wrong person.


Alexander 4 years ago

That's great and all, but what are the right reasons?


ashley0616 5 years ago

Great to read this hub. It will be useful & big help to the people who experience these situations.thanks & God bless


Anshika A. 5 years ago

its quit gud bt i don't think would help people to get out of love ...i m talking about the one who had fallen in love bt wanna get out of it...


blairtracy profile image

blairtracy 5 years ago from Canada

Great read and great advice. I hope this helps lots of people.


M Zvyagintsev profile image

M Zvyagintsev 5 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

Brilliant advice. I agree with all 10...and guilty of a few myself.

Unfortunately us humans haven't found a way to learn till after we make mistakes ;)


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Anamika, you know that sometimes, some people don't know the reason why they are in a relationship. But i thank you very much for listings out the 10 wrong Reasons for being in a Relationship. I also pick a correction of mine


dessa05 profile image

dessa05 5 years ago from philippines

thanks for this hub,this article is a big help to the people who experience that situation...even though I'm not experience some of the point of the article.I enjoy reading it.Your information is educated by me.thanks GOd bless u


Anna 5 years ago

I think the majority of relationships are made out of the wrong reasons because we are all essentially flawed. I don't think there is an instant formula to falling in love except spending time with one another and really getting to know each other. The initial incentive might be loneliness, looks, social taboo and all the reasons you mentioned above. Something has to incite both partners to get together and the majority of us do not live fairy tale love stories.


DaijahaBoo 5 years ago

Thanx for This it was a big wake up call


Mr Fox profile image

Mr Fox 5 years ago from Vancouver, WA

Thank you for this wonderful hub. I've seen this in many of my friend's relationships, and it's a sad thing. But now I have further insight on the topic, thanks to this. Very well written.


hitdev profile image

hitdev 5 years ago

excellent article.


lifeinprime profile image

lifeinprime 5 years ago from Catawba County, NC

Thanks for sharing some wonderful insights on relationships. Years ago, I had a woman get into a relationship with me for a very wrong and almost dangerous reason: To make her husband jealous! I had no idea she was married. Luckily, I put an end to it before anyone got physically hurt. (Yes, I hurt--felt I was being used. So did her husband, I bet!)


mikebesiker profile image

mikebesiker 5 years ago from Midwest

This is a fantastic and informative hub. I especially like the introduction because I think people float from one bad romance to another one for a very specific reason: they have no clue where they've been, they have no clue who they are, and they have no clue where they are going. That's a pretty good definition of being lost.


hasan82 profile image

hasan82 5 years ago

This is a good hub, pointing out the weaknesses one could have in the relationship. But I think sometimes spending less time with your spouse is indirectly in the benefit of your partner. For instance, if a person is spending less time with his/her spouse due to something to work or to earn more money. If the partner understands this scenario, I think that would add some solid strength to their relationship.


MandyPandy5 profile image

MandyPandy5 5 years ago

I agree with all of your points! The one that is most striking to me is the 'pressure to settle down'! It's a scary world out there!


Mamelody profile image

Mamelody 5 years ago

I do absolutely agree with the first point.. I've seen too many women getting into relationships because of desperation. My cousin is married to a man she absolutely doesn't love simply because of the financial security & stability. This is an excellent hub and it would be great if people facing these problems should heed to this. Thanks for writing this.


Stump Parrish profile image

Stump Parrish 5 years ago from Don't have a clue, I'm lost.

Interesting hub as I am quite unfamiliar with your countries customs and traditions. I will attempt to give you a my American influenced outlook from a liberal and open minded perspective.

1, Some people simply don't like themselves enough to spend any time alone with themselves.

2, If they are entering relationships simply to please their friends, then yes I would agree with you up to a point. If you are interested in being in a serious relationship you need to meet as many people as you can. Meeting new people who like you and enjoying new experiences can, sometimes allow you to begin liking yourself enough that someone else might begin to like you also. I also see people state that they don't think friends should become romantically involved. I disagree with this for this reason. The most important part of maintaining a relationship is staying friends with your lover. If you have managed to be a friend to someone and they returned the favor, you have the hardest part of a relationship mastered.

3a, Some victims of bad parenting subconsciuosly seek out the same type of treatment from their partner. It is what feels comfortable and a significant change to this need, takes work and effort and help.

3b, I recommend the rebound relationship as a way to get past the failed one. It is a distraction that allows you to heal. It very rarely lasts but it can help you deal with your loss if you enter it with no expectaations other than being appreciated by someone.

4, This is not a concern here in America for the most part. Most people get married because they really want to, or they have to, due to community or family pressure in the case of pregnancy.

5, I atcually think support is something you should be looking for in a relationship. If you find someone who will support your dreams and shares them with you, you have a person that will help you become who you really want to be. Support is perhaps the greatest gift you can offer someone and should be sought out.

6, A lot of people in America are capable of separating sex from the relationship. This works until you can find the right person to spend your life with. A lot of people can't do this. It is up to the individual to decide if they can or can't.

7, This is a very dangerous situation for her to be in. Anytime you are trapped in a realtionship you have given the other person too much control of your life. She needs to get the person some help and get out of the relationship. She is not obligated to be with him simply because she saved his life. It is up to him to make the most of the chance to live she has given him. If she leaves and he kills himself, it is not her fault, she tried.

8, This is also quite common in America. The female is usually looking for money and stability. The guy needs a young wife to show off. if it works for them I say good for them if they're happy.

9, If it doesn't last more than a couple of days, it's not a relationship anyway, it's a fling or perhaps they are simply making a memory for their later years.

10, Conveniece especially during college can be of mutual benefit to both unless only one of them knows it won't be permanent.

Take a hold of the emotions and spend some time meeting new people and having new experiences. You might relax enough to recognize the right person when you see them.

Thanks for posting and it is a pleasure to meet you, Peace and Respect to you and yours.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

Very useful advice. We need to think twice.


Edoka Writes profile image

Edoka Writes 5 years ago

@ RSBrauer- so right. I'm guilty of that myself. It's miserable and a losing battle.


RSBrauer profile image

RSBrauer 5 years ago

Being a challenge is a great point. I've noticed that many women will stay in a relationship because they think they can "change" their man. The thrill of the chase and challenge makes it interesting for them, but a real relationship isn't actually formed.


zeusspeak profile image

zeusspeak 5 years ago from London

It's not always easy to think & do. Good hub with real facts. I enjoyed it. thanks Anamika


Joebrown 5 years ago

hehehe @ ssaul thus gud to knowlol


kdlsadun profile image

kdlsadun 5 years ago from Gampaha

really good you article.your information is educated by me thanks.


Visual Hobbyist profile image

Visual Hobbyist 5 years ago from The Interblag

It's unfortunate how common it is for people to fall in love for the wrong incentives, but then again, dating is not really a piece of cake. Insightful hub, and I'm sure a lot of people will take away something from reading it! :)


parduc profile image

parduc 5 years ago from Kos island, Greece

Very nice and useful hub! Thanks for the enjoyable read on this difficult topic!


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 5 years ago from Guwahati, India

The hub has rightly pointed the reasons and views for a happy marriage life. But everything depends upon the integrity of the person. It is always better to think in peace and not in emotion for a future life.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India Author

ssaul and msorensson : Thank you so much for the visit and appreciation. I have tried to sum up the reasons as to why relationships fail or end through this hub.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago

Well done, everything you enumerated was valid. I enjoyed the hub. Thank you.


ssaul 5 years ago

thanks for this hub, over the years i came up with a thousand or more reasons. sometimes relationships just makes my head feels like it would explode, lol! its a lot of work

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