Top 10 Ways To Dump Someone
Best Ways To Dump Your Partner
Dumping your partner may be the solution if you are feeling fed up and just annoyed at your partner. For how long you have been in a relationship with your partner and they just are getting on your nerves quite considerably, then for you. Here are 10 of the best ways to dump someone, forget what you've read in an advice magazine from an Agony Aunt who just rehashes all the same advice, it's time to get your life in order and destroy someone elses because you can and because you have just had enough of your other half dragging you down.
The time has come to dump your Boyfriend or Girlfriend and look ahead to a wonderful life.
1. Text, email or any other - This is the best one because it's all a faceless thing really except if you post on their Facebook Timeline that they are dumped of course. A text is a wonderful thing because you can type in abbreviated letters to save you time. For example U R Dumpt! which is very straight forward and then you could give a reason like Cos U Stink! which is always a very personal one that always goes down well.
An email could be a well planned out electronic letter pouring out your most heartfelt emotions or just the casual "I'm Dumping You!" in huge bold letters does the trick. If the plan is revenge then a public humiliation is a nice idea such as posting pictures of him or her at their worst online although nothing too graphic or else you may not have a Facebook account to sign into again. Although dumping someone on Facebook and declaring that they wet the bed, could be an evil idea!
2. Dump them on their Birthday - This one is a mean one meant for those Boyfriends or Girlfriends who thoroughly deserve it and the best thing about this one is that you can send them a Birthday card in the post with a nice little message, but remember to say Happy Birthday first as that is being quite polite and then write "Your Dumped!" underneath.
3. Pretend you are going to propose - Another nasty one, but hey it gets the message across. They'll be like oh oh and smiling and feeling all special and then you rip their heart out by shouting Ha Ha you fool...You are dumped! It is is a good idea to perfect a good cat walk to walk away as this adds the icing to the cake.
4. Go on holiday - A nice holiday is a great idea...without your partner that is and you can dump then by either sending a postcard or you can say before you go you are dumped or whilst sitting on a beach with a cocktail in hand whilst you are sunning yourself you can then phone them with your mobile and do it. Either way you are on Holiday so enjoy yourself.
5. Be nice for around a month - Being nice within a month helps you decide on your course of action and plus it also creates a nice atmosphere for when you do dump that unspecial someone. Plus you can say you could have had a life time of me being nice now and now you don't get anything, You Are Dumped!
6. Buy them a replacement - A replacement? you are thinking. Yes, a cuddly toy, an inflatable adult doll, whatever, just find them a replacement and move on. Get them out of the house and live a little.
7. Shout I can't breathe! - This one can work quite well and you can just stand up in front of a public audience and just shout "I can't breathe!!" You're smothering me! You loathsome leche, You filthsome maggott. You redundant cauliflower!! Whatever, just say it and move on!
8. Just Say You're Fired! - Nuff said!
9. I'm sorry! I'm in love with your Mom or Dad or Both! - Sometimes instances like this could occur rather freakishly and when this happens you just have to go with the flow and be honest about the situation. So you could say I'm sorry we aren't working out, but Can I date your Mom or Dad or both please?
10. Just wake up with amnesia! - Pretend one day that you have just woken up and don't recognise your partner. Fake some crying and Crocodile tears. Just explain that you think it isn't going to work out because you hardly know him or her whilst you go out clubbing.
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