Top 5 Techniques To Make Friends In 90 seconds or less!

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget!"

Introduction

As important as knowing about the top 5 mistakes lonely people make, we need to know the top 5 techniques to make other people like you!

Nobody in this world is perfect. Everyone has their problems, and personality flaws. It is your job, as a human being, to become a better person every day you live in this Earth. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to everybody that surrounds you.

These techniques will give you the push to take the first step towards deep change and self development. If you decide to implement these throughout your life, you will create incredible connections and friends that will last for a lifetime.

These are some of the best techniques I have learned over the years as a social guru, you can put them to use instantly if you already have a good level of confidence. If not, try to implement these separately.

I am feeling very good about this HubPage, I think that you will learn something very valuable today. Read it carefully, and tell your friends about this. I know that they will love it too.

The 5 Techniques

1) Don’t Criticize, Praise!

This is one of the best insights that Dale Carnegie has had over his career. This technique alone is worth his whole book, which is why I am going to repeat it here for you.

Criticizing people is a complete waste of time and will only give you headaches. It creates deep resentment and sometimes it can create profound hate.

I remember when I was still a teenager, of these huge fights my mom and dad would have about my mom not feeling recognized.

Both my mom and dad own a manufacturing company together. My dad is the CEO, he does the administrative work, getting the financing, managing cash-flows, etc. My mom is the creative director, she is the one who creates the designs and manages the manufacturing process.

My dad would never recognize the good work that my mom was doing on the creative side of the business, while he received praise from everyone as the company continued to grow. But whenever some product didn’t have the response they expected, my dad would criticize and blame my mom for everything.

This made her feel resented, and they used to have fights about this.

Nowadays, my dad praises my mom whenever she does a good job, and only criticizes her indirectly. Their relationship is now perfect, all because my dad realized his mistake.

Same thing with friendships, you must not criticize your friends. Praise when you can, criticize never!

2) Talk About THEIR Interests!

Suppose you are like me, and you like reading books about psychology and social behavior: if I talked to you about behavioral psychology, you would be fascinated wouldn’t you?

What if you hated it? Or didn’t feel anything about it? How would you feel?

Pretty bored, am I right?

This is what this rule is for; you have to talk about subjects that entertain your new friend, not subjects that will bore him to death.

But how do I do it, Eduardo?

Well, if you have read my 4-Step System, you should know! Look, you have to be smart when you are working with your friend on the Second Step, the Discover! (Look it up on the Recommended Links in this HubPage)

I suggest you write somewhere everything you discover about everyone you meet. There are so many things to remember that the best thing you can do is to buy yourself a journal and have one page for each friend.

Write on the journal page first what he likes, then what he dislikes. You have to write his birthday too, so that you can call or send him a card in his birthday.

I did this for over three years. I have two full journals on this. And I have on my Outlook the birthdays of everyone I know, this way I can’t miss their birthday.

Before I go to a party, I go to my journals, read about five or ten people that I know will be there and prepare a couple of stories to tell that they might like.

As I have taught you on the ‘Top 5 Mistakes Lonely People Make’ HubPage, you need to see a friendship like a savings account. This technique alone will give you a lot of extra value to your friendship, which means that your friendship account is getting bigger and bigger.

3) Share!

If you want to make friends for life, you must share your thoughts with them. Don’t be the quiet guy.

If you can share stories about your life, the intimacy between you and your friend will grow tremendously. You can share with him stories that help him see you as a good friend, yet fun too.

Tell them a story about how you helped a friend in need once, or how you held someone’s secret until they told the secret to everyone.

You have to build yourself in the mind of your new friend as both a real person, someone that lives life fully and that has a life outside the place you are currently meeting, and as a great friend to everyone.

If you do this, I promise you that your new friend will instantly see you as one of his best friends.

Remember, this does not mean that you should be always talking about yourself. This means that you should be real, be down to earth, and a happy person.

There is a very good quote from the Buddha about happiness and sharing, and I think that it has the exact same effect in a friendship:

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Share your happiness. Share your moments with your friends. Don’t hold your happiest moments as if they were only yours. Give them to the world, and the world will give you thousands of new happiest moments.

Give your friends a chance to experience your happiness.

4) Become A Good Storyteller!

This is one of the most important skills that you should cultivate throughout your life.

Being a good storyteller gives you access to your friends subconscious, and can help you make enough friends to last for a lifetime.

I will give you three tips that will help you become a good storyteller, implement them as quickly as you can.

A) Use Vivid Descriptions!

What do you think is better, “My girlfriend looked at me and fell in love” or “My girlfriend looked with her piercing brown eyes at me, as our eyes touched I could feel her heart melting into a pond of pure happiness.”

I know, it may sound weird, but if you use it sparingly and time it correctly, the power of your story will grow ten-fold.

B) Don’t Tell A Wimpy Story

What do I mean by wimpy? Well, in the book “The Storyteller’s Guide” by Bill Mooney and David Holt, a couple of great storytellers tell their opinion about what is a wimpy story. Just listen to their advice; they are better at this than I am.

“The difference between a good story and a wimpy story for me is the wimpy story gives too easy a solution.” Michael Parent

“A wimpy story is one that points toward something very obvious, that doesn’t have resonance inside, that doesn’t provide an experience.” Laura Simms

“To me, the strongest mark of a good story well-told is its sincerity. I think there is something about a wimpy story that is insincere; it’s unauthentic. It’s not true to the person who is telling it.” Jon Spelman

“When you find interesting people, you are going to find interesting stories. I think, if you open your senses and maybe even your heart to people, you will find an unending source of un-wimpy stories, good strong stories.” Kathryn Windham

C) Tell A Story With Substance

Your story has to have “bones”. It has to have a point, it has to show a point or entertain to some extent.

You have to have a direction while telling a story, and what I suggest you do is to think your stories through before actually telling them.

What I like to do is to tell myself a story, write it down and then see if I can tweak the story to give it some edginess, some roughness and some humor.

Remember that a good story always has both a conflict and the resolution to the conflict. If you remember that, you will be able to easily fill in the rest with edginess and humor.

5) Be A Good Listener!

Have you ever been with someone that didn’t hear when you told them that you were sad, and just kept talking about his life?

Don’t be THAT guy!

Look, one of the best things you can do in order to improve your friendship is to listen to the hardships that your friends are going through, and to actually help them by being there.

Don’t be thinking about your life, or thinking about what to say while your friends are talking. Think about what they are saying, if they pause and ask for your opinion, then you begin to think about it.

This is a basic skill that everyone should try to cultivate. If you listen to your friends, you are showing them that you care about what they are telling you, you are showing them that you care about them, you are showing them that you can stop thinking about yourself for just one minute while another human being is speaking.

And this is good.

Very good.

So please, if you take anything from this HubPage at all, take this: BE A GOOD LISTENER!

Conclusion

Well, I truly hope you guys enjoyed reading this. I hope I have given you enough tips to get your friendships going. Please comment if you would like to hear more about this topic!

See you soon!

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Comments 5 comments

ASA 5 years ago

Very good tips ... useful indeed


manas ranjan sahu 5 years ago

These are amazing tips for ever.


Phoenix 5 years ago

nice ... lets see , i have probs in point 5 , i just cant stop gossiping


ali 5 years ago

there tips are very good


naturalsolutions 5 years ago

Talking to their interest is the best way to get you close to them. It is proven in many times. Well great hub.

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