Top Ten Ways Of HowTo Tell If Your Husband Is Stressed Out
10. He suddenly increases his nicotine &/or alcohol intake (whether or not he smoked, dipped, or drank previously.)
9. He makes Ed Bundy turn into Bill Crosby. (“Hey, woman, gimme those taters” becomes “Dear, could you please pass me the potatoes?”)
8. His patience dips lower. (“Why does this traffic light take so long to change?”)
7. He starts believing that there are forces at work conspiring against him. (“That traffic light is slow on purpose-it knows I have somewhere to be.”)
6. He ceases to be wrong. (“I most certainly did not install that incorrectly! The directions were miswritten, their pictures were backwards.”-note the continued used of proper speech.)
5. His tools fail to work. (“How can you expect me to put it together if I do not have working tools? This would go faster if the things worked right.”)
4. He is so distracted his hearing takes a dive. (Your daughter asks for a low cut dress and he hears a low cost press and says yes.)
3. He answers the house phone with his work greeting. (“Thank you for calling fill in the blank, this is insert name.”)
2. He pays attention less than usual. (He fails to notice you are wearing that lacy red negligee you bought for last Valentine’s Day.)
And the number one way to tell if your husband is stressed out-
1. He is so tired, he falls asleep mid-fondle. (“Ooh, you’re wearing that red set I like so much! Come on over here. Yeah, that’s nice. Zzzzzzzzzz.)
At this point you may as well roll over and give up for the night then make plans in the morning to give him the most relaxing day ever.
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