Tough Love Will Bring Sober Love in The End

Tough Love Is Scary But Effective

For anyone that knows me, you know that on October 26, 2009 was my last dance with alcohol, and on the morning of October 27, 2009 was my first day of a long road to recovery, and the start of my long term sobriety.

I can say my wife and children put up with my alcoholism for the greater part of my marriage, and to tell you the truth I don't know how they stood by my side all those years, but they did because of the deep love and the concern they had for me as a husband and a father.

None of us are perfect, but there comes a time in your life that you just need to make that drastic change whether you like it or not. I guess it depends on what is more important to you in your life, your family, or your addiction to alcohol.

It took many years for me to finally get out of the denial I was living in and finally admit,"yes I do indeed have a severe addiction to alcohol and something must be done in order to save my life and the lives of the very ones that have been by my side for all these years.


Tough Love Works

As scary as it may be, anyone that has a spouse that is addicted to alcohol knows that trying to reason with their alcoholic other is a hard thing to accomplish. Many times you may think you are beating your head against the wall knowing that the one you love and care for is just not getting what you are saying.

So many times it takes tough love in order to find that sober love in the end. Tough love for many is hard to do because the sober one thinks to them self that they are going to hurt their alcoholic spouses feelings, and possibly get into a fight because all your trying to do is to help him/her to get sober. With my experience with drinking and abusing alcohol, "tough love will bring sober love in the end and I am proof of that."

I'll never forget these words as long as I shall live. "Mark, it is either me or your alcohol addiction. You make the call. The ball is in your court right now!" Keep drinking and I'll be out of here, or stop drinking and we will live to be old together.

Well, many people may think that would be a threat, but in my case I didn't want to lose my family all because of a avoidable addiction to alcohol.

Our Love Will Never End Now Being Sober

Source

How Tough Love Changed My Life

Tough love changed my life, and when you think about it, the sober spouse that is giving tough love to the alcoholic is doing it not to hurt them, but to help them realize, you may, and probably will lose everything because of your addiction.

If you truly love someone enough, you will make the right decision a stop drinking. It has to stop sooner or later, or each one of us alcoholics will die with nothing, and die a lonely person.

Is alcohol really worth losing everything in your life, including your own life in the end? We can not continue to drink the way we do, because as you know our addiction to alcohol will sooner or later catch up with us, and then you might as well say, your life is over!

My Last With Alcohol 2009

Source

Tough Love Works

Have you ever had tough love in your life?

  • Yes I have and it worked.
  • Yes, but I still didn't pay any attention and continued to drink.
See results without voting

Be Tougher Than Your Addiction

Everyone of us that have, or had an addiction to alcohol know that it is so hard to let something like alcohol go, when alcohol has been a huge part of our lives.

For myself, when I decided to stop drinking it truly was the hardest thing I ever had to decide on, but when I think about it now, it was very simple. The question was, "do I love my wife and children more than my addiction?" If you truly love your family the answer should be very simple.

You just have to stand up to your addiction and say "GOODBYE DEMONS!" It has been a real journey with you (my demons) as you ruined my life and made me look like crap. Now it is time to say goodbye once and for all so that I can have my life back, and to love my wife and children like I once did before you came into my life.

Tough Love

As Hard As It May Be

As hard as it may be for you to give tough love to the one you love and cherish, it has to be done in order to get your love of your life back on track and start to live that life of sobriety.

Sure it may hurt inside knowing that you just may be adding fuel to the fire, but it worked for me, and I bet it will work for you, and then you too will have that love of your life back, clean and sober.

For the alcoholic in question, you will be pissed off for sure, but in the end, you will thank your spouse for they have saved your marriage and your life. You now can live the life you were put on this Earth to live, and that is a sober life.


Life Is Beautiful When Seen Through Sober Eyes

© 2014 Mark Bruno

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22 comments

dis-cover profile image

dis-cover 2 years ago from Serbia, Belgrade

Congratulations Mark!!! Strong persons and love always wins. Excellent hub. Voted up and shared as awesome. Wish you all the best.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

dis-cover Thank you so much for reading and your kind words. Thanks also for the share. Have a great weekend my friend !


Bk42author profile image

Bk42author 2 years ago from New York

Great and useful hub! Congratulations to you as well! Voted up!


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 2 years ago

Well done Mark- I'm putting a link to this on my hub. In fact, Id like to quote you if that's alright. Magnificent well written.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Bk42author - Thank you for the congrats and for the Vote up. I am glad you enjoyed it!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

psychicdog.net- Thank you my friend, and it is perfectly fine to quote me and put a link to your hub. I feel honored my friend and thanks again for the read!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Awesome hub here! Thank you for sharing.

Up and more and away


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Faith thanks so much for reading and your kind comment and than you for sharing as well :)


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

I am sure many will benefit from your wisdom shared. Blessings!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

teaches12345 So nice to see you again. i just started writing back here on Hp. Thanks so much for your support and friendship :)

God Bless you!


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

Awesome work! I am so glad that you came through it all and now have a new life with fresh eyes. Congrats doesn't even cover it.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Lady Guinevere- Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words to me. That really means so much and I truly appreciate it!


Nancy Cole 2 years ago

Hi, I read your Tough Love aritcle....have a question.....when your wife gave you the choice between her or your addiction. is that when you decided to go cold turkey ? Or did your decision to quit happen later?


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Nancy Cole -Thanks so much for taking the time to read this article and your comment. I quit when I was given the choice. This happened once before and she left for a month and came back because I stopped drinking. As soon as she got settled back in home I started drinking a little bit until I was right where I was before she left. This time in 2009 I knew this was it and she meant business this time and would leave for good. Our love and my family was more important than alcohol and I have been sober since Oct. 2009 .


Roda451 2 years ago

My husband had been cured to his alcoholic addiction. He promised me he won't drink anymore because he dont want to lose his family. But after a month of being alcohol free, one of his buddies at work asked him for a happy hour, one Friday night .and so he went. After that his addiction is back again, I don't know what to do. I had enough of his addiction and wanting to end this marriage soon. Can anyone help me?


the clean life profile image

the clean life 2 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Roda451 i am sorry to hear of your husband relapse. for many of us alcoholics including myself, it only takes that one sip of alcohol to set you back to drinking again. You really have to been stronger than your addiction in order to live that life of sobriety. Hope everything works out for you and yours.

Mark


SONIA_BLADE 2 years ago

Did you distance yourself from the people that thought you dont really have a problem, its all about moderation? I tell my BF that he needs to distance himself from those people until he knows he can handle it. IS THAT WRONG??


wish my husband would wake up 23 months ago

I have dealt with this for years....oh how I wish my husband would wake up and see what he has a loving wife, a beautiful home, and 3 beautiful daughters.


desperate in dayton 21 months ago

Mine says he loves me more than his bottle and he likes to drink... He was drinking when I met him and so on and so forth..... So tired of this.... Been let go from 2 to 3 jobs because of it. The last time I had had enough.. I have begged and pleaded all I am going to.... Ready to hunt me a place to live.... But really don't feel like I should be the one to have to leave... So so frustrated....no help what so ever... Drinks sits in front of tv.. Eats and passes out....


the clean life profile image

the clean life 21 months ago from New Jersey Shore Author

desperate in dayton. I feel very bad that you have to go through this. Your last sentence was me to the tee. Drink, TV, eat and pass out every single night of the week. Thank God I saw the light. I hope yours sees the light too,, before it may be too late. I have been sober since October 2009 .


onmyown 20 months ago

Thank you for this article. It gave me some hope. I have been separated from my alcoholic husband for a month. He lost a good job last year because of his drinking After he got a dui a few weeks ago he started going to AA. We will see what happens. I miss him. I have been going to alanon. I trust God.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 20 months ago from New Jersey Shore Author

onmyown - Thank you for reading and your comment. My wife also left me for a month. I sobered up and she came back to give me one more chance . Sorry to hear about your husband and his addiction. Trust in God . at least he is trying to change ..That is a great thing as long as he keeps it up. It took me years to finally realize I was messing up my life and those that loved and cared about me. It will work for you. Just give a bit of time ... Hang in there..It will be okay.

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