Traditional Wedding Vows-Sacrilege or a Lifetime Commitment

Modern Marriage Philosphy

I may be about to express a hub on a subject that might be sensitive to some but nevertheless I'm jumping in with both feet and expressing my personal convictions on the age old union of a man and a woman. I'm from the old school and it is my conviction marriage revolves around a man and a woman, not two men or two women. In our state of North Carolina the issue will be on our ballots for our primary elections in May. Recent studies that have been done on traditional marriages indicate the divorce rate is an astounding 41.2%. What has happened to the idea of a life long commitment?

Although I'm not a marriage counselor nor purport to have any real wisdom on this subject, I have made some observations over the years. When most of us "boomers" as we are often called were married, we went through the normal process that involved courtship. The blessed times when we as young couples got to know one another. Our choice in a mate could well have been a lifelong friend or classmate or maybe perchance the proverbial love at first sight of one seen across a dimly lit room. We shared so many common bonds and ideals. Among those were beginning a family, getting our first house, finding good jobs to attain and support those goals. Most of all we were in love with one another and could hardly stand the thoughts of being apart. There were the smiles and simple things like holding hands, sharing one Coke with two straws, a twinkle in our eyes that revealed a deep love and a level of commitment that could stand the test of time. Is it any wonder in our wedding vows, we promised each other to love and cherish one another, in sickness and in health and poverty and wealth?

For many of us we have seen the whole order listed in our marriage vows unfold before our very eyes yet for some of us, ours have stood the test of time (40 years soon for me and my bride) with the same glue that knit our hearts in the very beginning. Marriage takes commitment and there are the good times and bad times, disagreements, disappointments and discouragements. Whoever said marriage is a 50 50 proposition didn't have a clue. One of my favorite movies was Love Story and in this movie the line "Love means never having to say you're sorry" comes to mind as I write. The real truth is we all have to say,I'm sorry" many times in our lifetime because it is inevitable two personalities regardless of the emotion of love will sometimes have conflict and difficult times where words are said in a moment of anger or frustration that damages relationships. We all hate the fighting but not enough can be said about the forgiving and "making up." Without compromise, give and take by a couple, I venture to say that percetage of failures would be much higher than the current 41.2%.

I see so many young people these days who are plenty smart with above average initiative and who have been bitten by the love bug yet are clueless when it comes to the moral values which are the traditional ones of marriage. Our society now accepts and condones a new "morality" where "experimenting and a trial period" of co-existing doesn't even turn head. We who hold to the traditional values are labeled square and old fashioned.

In my estimation, many have made a mockery of a most sacred pact. My beliefs and they are just that, my own, a marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman. A union first performed by God in Eden's garden when from Adam's side a rib was taken and "Woman" created from Man. The union was blessed by the Blessor of all mankind.

Society seems to have degraded the marriage institution in our culture. Regardless of my opinions, this will probably not change and we will continue to see high divorce rates. Our society accepts values that are tainted and the "white" wedding gown once worn to indicate chasteness and purity no longer represent those values once held dear.

What then makes for a lasting marriage relationship? As a Christian, I look to the Bible for those answers. Marriage must first be a relationship that has Christ at the center. Partnering with Christ as the Head of the relationship. In our Bible we find that the marriage institution is the one utilized to describe the relationship of Christ and the church, He is the groom and the church (body of born again believers) the bride. The conditions are simple yet cannot be compromised. Theses values are commitment,fidelity,mutual love and respect and a core of values that are based on the teachings of Christ.


Traditional marriage

What do you see as the main reason marriages fail today?

  • Tried it and didn't like it.
  • Unfaithful mate.
  • Irreconcilable differences.
  • Saw an opportunity to cash in on my mates 401K and get a fresh start
  • The commitment is too great.
See results without voting

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Comments 10 comments

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I applaud your message, fiddleman. I believe that if young couples would take the time to know each other first, before engaging in marital pleasures, they would truly understand what commitment means. I am afraid for the next generation that follows, as we look at the continued failure of marriages and familiy breakups. Voted up!


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina Author

I'm afraid for most there are no surprises on that first wedding night. Thanks for reading and commenting.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

Hi mate: I believe people should be left alone to do what they will. Marriage is a tried and true institution and right for most. But some feel restricted by it or want a trial period first (Brad and Angie?). I dislike homosexuality, too, most straight people do, but if two men or women want to say they are married my life is too short to loose sleep over something I cannot change.

Live and let live...and..do as you would be done by are my mottos now.

Bob


graceomalley profile image

graceomalley 4 years ago

I personally think a society is as healthy as its marriages - many lay the blame for failed marriages on individuals, but a society which undermines long term committment has to take some of the responsibility. Plenty of socities in the past had high divorce rates. The Jews of Jesus' time, for all their lives supposedly centered on the worship of God, had a divorce rate similar to our own. I think the high rates of staying married in the past couple of generations may have something to do with the trauma of WWII - when a "traditional" way of life begins to look like something you may never have because you will be killed or dominated by the enemy - suddenly a spouse, house, and 2.5 kids look like heaven on earth.

Just a few random thoughts. Had my own 21st aniversary a few months ago.


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina Author

Thank you for your comments,Grace.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

I believe in marriage as a sacred institution. (Been married 45 years.) It hasn't been all sunshine and flowers but we did it together! We had the love and understanding to go through things together. Commitment, faith in God and each other, a sense of responsibility and of course love.

I think there is a tendency today to jump into marriage and then as soon as there's a problme, jump out! Heaven help us.

Nice hub Fiddleman.


Jhudah 4 years ago

Marriage is really not joke. As a Christian i believe that marriage is sacred. It is sad to see that nowadays many people don't take marriage seriously.


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina Author

Thank you tillsontitan for your comments and congratulations on 45 years of marriage.


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina Author

Thank you for stopping by to read and comment.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California

When our society decided that sex was the most important thing you can do in life everyone lost. When people say that any kind of family will do as long as they love each other I have to take a deep breath. What is good about having children outside of marriage? What is good about homosexuality? Thank for broaching this subject.

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