Trust Issues

Emotional Baggage - Trust Issues

We all have trust issues due to past experiences with people users, abusers and manipulators in our lives. What is the healthy balance of emotional boundaries for self protection and being able to trust people again in order to have a close relationship with anybody?

Sigourney Weaver said, "Sometimes you trust someone who turns out not to be honest. I think we've probably all been hurt."

No kidding, when someone we've known for years and they are found out with a serious lie - it hurts. Betrayal of a close friend makes you wonder if you are able to perceive people as they really are and you begin to question yourself in order not to get caught unawares again. The emotional baggage of trust issues due to past relationships will cut you off from a healthy partnership that will fulfill your life. Without trust there is no love, "The best proof of love is trust. " (Joyce Brothers)

Brooding and morose, scared to trust anybody with an open heart and wary to let anybody get to close ends up being a very lonely existence. How to learn to be able to trust again knowing that, "The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.", (Stephen King), feeling completely separated from others, "You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anybody or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone." (Fiona Apple)

How to break free from this self-imposed loneliness and make an effort to have close relationships with others? Wearing a brittle exterior a person will eventually have a the personality of the average Vogon, cruel and insensitive and cantankerous. "To go through life without trust: that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself.", (Graham Greene), nobody wants to live by the creed of Joseph Stalin who once said, "I trust no one, not even myself."

From the following quotes it appears that the first step is regaining trust in yourself.
Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no reason. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live .- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Trust not yourself, but your defects to know, make use of every friend and every foe. - Alexander Pope

Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. - Joyce Brothers


Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do. - Benjamin Spock

More by this Author


6 comments

schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 6 years ago from USA

Very good hub, makes a lot of sense. No human is subject to never have pain--I guess they say "Better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all". I think many people are ok with trusting others, but they may feel they need to (in a relationship) get to know the person well as friends first and even have "smart" friends or family meet this person.

Frankly, besides all that I feel we need to have Faith in not only ourselves and others but in God. Those of us who believe in God ...know He is always there for us and won't deceive us...as in the Bible and in Jesus Christ.

It really disappoints me when I meet someone who seems smart and like me -has things in common- but who is godless and I just can't be with anyone who is not a beliver in God.

Best to you. SG


ptosis profile image

ptosis 6 years ago from Arizona Author

Thanks for your comment schoofirlforreal. Although I'm not very religious myself - I do tend to feel safer and more trusting with a person with a Christian background than a non-Christian.

Just easier to relate and understand when have some what similar background in faith.


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 6 years ago from USA

Well, that's nice of you to say ptosis. Thanks


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

An excellent hub - through my life I have been let down many times by people I really trusted. It is a downer and you either except it as life and life goes on or just give up. I think the key is having faith and trust in yourself and build from there - which you cover very well. From there over time you will find people you can trust - otherwise you are imprisoned within as the Graham Greene quote nails.


ptosis profile image

ptosis 6 years ago from Arizona Author

Thanks for the comment billyaustindillon. Is your name the names of your three sons?


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Very true. Very, very true.

The Frog Prince

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working