Trust: Every Relationship Needs It!!
Keep trust in your relationship
Instinctively, we trust everyone we come into contact with from birth. After all, we don't know any differently. We haven't been taught that some actions would cause us pain, or the inability to take someone on their word until later in life.
As, babies we trust that our parents would cause us no harm, and that they would undoubtedly protect us from all harm. My daughter demonstrates this everyday when she decides to climb furniture and up onto a window sill or when I tell her, not to touch something because it is hot...why? Because my actions from day one have showed her, that mummy and daddy will not let anything happen to her, mummy and daddy will protect her from pain and mummy and daddy will not let her get burnt. If by some strange instance, she does get hurt, due to a fall or a bump, her first reaction after crying, is to look to mummy or daddy for comfort.
So, what does this have to do with relationships, some may ask?
Well, we are all guided by the same principle when we open our hearts and let that special person in. Until we get hurt, we unknowingly wear our hearts on our sleeves until that one person comes along and just walks all over it.
The interesting thing about relationships however, is that everything shapes how we enter them and the level of trust that we offer to the other player in the relationship. Prime example is my life. I had a typical happy childhood, with a sibling and married parents. At 14 however, I learned that I had not 1, but 2 siblings. One from my parents' marriage and the other from my father's promiscuous days. The funny thing was that the new sibling was only 2 years younger than my younger sibling.
Well needless to say, when I entered the dating world, I had a hard time believe that no matter what, I could never fully trust any man I was dating as after all, my father and very few of the other men in my family knew how to be faithful....Well, let's just say, that this did cause some major problems when I first met my current boyfriend. I didn't trust him when we were apart, I always felt he was seeing someone else. I surely didn't trust any of his female friends, because, as far as I was concerned, they were all sleeping together, or at least wanted to.
After many trying times, a 3 year long distance stint and a few breakups, I have finally learned to trust him. I have had to realize that not all men are the same, although it was a very tough pill to swallow...after all, I wasn't able to trust my own father...but I did it.
This year will be 11 years, we have a beautiful daughter and I have learned to open up, discuss any misgivings and insecurities that I have with him, and to genuinely believe and trust him when he has to work late or is just having a guys night.
In the end, all I can say is, learn from your past experiences, but do not let them lead your life, everyone is different. If you need to, enter the relationship guarded if you have to, but don't go into preconceived opinions of how it will be and what will happen. And if you are a basket case like I was, if he really loves you, he will try to help you to work it out. But remember, there is only so much that a person can take, and eventually mistrust, like an infection can be the death of a relationship if you let it fester. And most importantly, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...
No comments yet.