Turning 28, Single Since Birth and Now Dating
There are circumstances, reasons why I stayed single for the long time. I am with a big family of ten, eight siblings and I am the fourth. When I was young, people looked after me all the time and when I get older, I am being looked up to by everyone.
I hate being surrounded with so many people. But I love being with my loved ones. I have a lot of friends with different personalities. I hang out with them, watch movies with them and chat with them. I like spending time with my family and share any kind of stuff. My dad is the funniest. I got his sense of humor. My mom is the toughest, next is my eldest sister. I guess because they are both mother and that came out naturally when you become one. My second elder brother is the most protective but he’s the most supportive. So if you can see from there, I came from a family where you can be valued and molded into a strong responsible independent person. And I become one.
I never did anything that would displease my parents. Just this one time when I was so stressed and I answered back my dad that made my mom castigate me. Something that I would never thought a wrong doing at that time. I guess I am a natural rebel but good thing that I am with right persons that would not hesitate to punish me for my unnecessary rebellious act.
And more than that, I am with family who has strong catholic faith and that is what I valued the most. It has a big contribution to who I became who I am right now.
So I went on, live my life and eventually step to the path of my career not just for myself but most specially to support my younger siblings’ education. I gave everything for them. Literally directly to them. That is the most fulfilling part of my life. I have no time for anything that would cut off my budget for them. Well, I have time but no budget. Which I think are different things.
Now... Two of them have their own job and living with me. Being together, we are a strong crazy team. I don’t have rules. I am not a strict elder sister because I know that they are strong independent persons as I am. But I have to keep being a role model to them. Our mom would take them back if I would not to.
With all of that, my 27 years of existing is kinda boring. I have no love life, no adventure, no night life but anything of it does not bother me in any way. I have responsibility to my family to attend to, I have books, movies, I go to church, I became part of interfaith community, attended to some outreach program, enrolled to master’s degree (for one semester), switch jobs, took foreign language training and hide from suitors. The last one is the hardest especially if they started as my friends. Maybe I have met the right one but not at the right time so it does not make him the right man. Maybe someone showed me he is the right one but I was so busy ignoring him so it does not make him the right man. Maybe someone feels he is the right one but my standards are so high he does not meet so it does not make him the right man. Maybe the right man is my friend but I love him so much as a friend so it does not make him the right man. But all of it did not bother me in any way until now.
I believe that God placed us exactly to where we are supposed to be so that we will be at the right persons for that right moment. Every place and job I have been to has something I learned differently and now I am in a place and with people who valued me and showed me care I am not used to accepting. Considering my experiences and values, it is hard for me to easily accept suitors but considering my age and my future, I am trying to be vulnerable and set aside my strong responsible independent personality to accept the love someone is offering.
As I am turning 28, my plans for myself become wider and bigger. I want to expand my network to business people. I want to pursue my foreign language study and spend some time in that country. But most importantly, I want to be selfless to someone who love me and give back his love. It is hard. It takes a lot of effort but I will try my best to make it work.