Used Up, Bruised Up, Withered and Worn

Taking the best out of you---and abusing it?

A life in an instant

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Good days come and go...but can come back to stay

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I will never hurt you; that is a lie

Share your thoughts, Ill break your mind
Share your dreams, Ill make them die

You don’t know what you can’t have
I’m everything in you that has become sad.

There will be sweetness in me that will take your breath away
The sweetness in me will be the end of all your wishful days

You thought I loved you, because I made you believe
That I am everything that you will ever need

How dare you try, how dare you say
That you can survive without me controlling your days

I knew from the beginning just how we would be
I knew from the beginning you would never leave me

I felt your love and I used it against you
I felt your trust and I misused it to hurt you

I will make you feel stupid; I will make you feel ashamed
I will make you feel crazy to keep from taking the blame

When you think you are on your way, I will hold you back
And if I do this the right way-You will never realize what you could have had.

Don’t think I will admit to any of my devious days
You shouldn’t pray to God, because only Jesus saves

You are my possession-I will keep you until you are worn
Then I will throw you out and leave your heart hurt and torn

You will ask yourself, what you did wrong
You will be left crying when I’ve already moved on.

If you don’t think so- just you wait and see
This is my motivation-you may call it my disease.

Sure it isn’t right, sure it will hurt
But I don’t really care- I’m not the one who is being dragged in the dirt

You can’t leave-You haven’t left yet
I am not done with you and I won’t allow you to forget

Bow down on your knee, I have made you bleed
Bow down to your knee, and beg me please

This is my world, where I make the rules
And the rules aren’t kind to weak little girls.

Don’t buck up- you won’t win
I will make sure that I can control the world you live in

Give you a break? Break from what?
You don’t matter, shut the F*ck Up!

Leave you crying, I will do what I wish.
And when I am gone it is me that you will be trained to miss.

Don’t try to be strong or dream your hopes
By the time I let you go, your dreams will become your jokes.

Succeed as you try; try, try again.
Don’t think that you can escape the hell I have created for you to live in.

I will never hurt you,
Wait...That is a lie,
I will watch you fall apart and die from the inside.

Give me a reason to love you- there is no reason I can think of
You are just a pathetic addition regardless of the dreams you dream of.

I will wear you out- tear you down to your knees,
I will make you believe that it is not your blood which you bleed.

You never really mattered, an accessory to describe you at best
One which was once beautiful, but has since become a mess.

Used up, bruised up, withered and worn.
Life is no blessing when you have been torn.

Abuse has many forms & many angles & many endings... Abuse is NOT as Black And White as the NON ABUSED believe it to be

The Way You Feel and Who You Are Matters

Never let anyone make you feel like you have no reason to be alive. Never let anyone make you feel like you can not survive without them. Everyone deserves to be loved and everyone deserves more than to be torn down for dreaming or wanting something amazing in their life. Gather up your courage and pull together your strength to believe in yourself and what you have to offer to this world, and never let anyone take it away from you. It is hard not to lose yourself when you are in a relationship that is controlling and puts you down. It would be such a sad thing if you were never able to share your light with people who would appreciate you, rather than disrespect you. Don’t lose yourself- lose the abuse and the cruel words that have entered your world.

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Comments 30 comments

acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 6 years ago from Guildford

Gosh I felt so sad reading this. Why do people suffer this way. I am so happy and so in love that it seems unimaginable to me that some people can be treated like this. Great hub - voted up. I am glad I stopped by H.C.Porter - thanks.


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 6 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

This is a very disturbing example of abuse H.C. very well described. Good job, keep up your good work as this hopefully will open up a few eyes.


Jason R. Manning profile image

Jason R. Manning 6 years ago from Sacramento, California

Talk about raising eye brows, either you really are that good at the metaphorical or you have some first hand experience with such dastardly behavior. God I hope not.

Great read even though I need to go find something to lift my soul back up.

Take care.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

acaetnna, thanks ma'am for the comment. I am not too sure why people should be made to feel so low-it is a sad thing in a sad world and unbelievably sad truth for many lives. Thanks for coming by and for the comment.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Carrie450, Thanks for the comment. Abuse is often hard to convey in such a way that it is understood by people who have never felt the hurt. Maybe if more understand it-more will try and change it...I hope...


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Jason R Manning, Thanks for reading and commenting- I am sorry I have given you an unsettling feeling-hope you can have your spirits lifted :)

Life isnt great for many women and many women never find out that they are worth more than they have been shown by an abusive spouse...It is sad-and I hope that some day more woman can muster up the strength to walk away..somehow...


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Very nicely written Holly. It sends a great message to others. :) Thank you very much for sharing. :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thanks Cagsil for reading and for commenting :) It is always greatly appreciated to hear from you :)


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Thanks for sharing an important topic..


CheyenneAutumn profile image

CheyenneAutumn 6 years ago

HC this is a very powerful piece. Many past voices crying inside this is me. Yet thankfully just as many answering their fear - never again! Thank you for posting this.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

Great hub!! Very powerful, is right.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

So many people believe abuse is only physical or sexual, but there are other forms far more subtle and just as insidious. To gain freedom from an abusive relationship is often dangerous and frightening, and it is often difficult for others to know how to help--especially when the abused person does not know (or acknowledge) they are being abused.

Your poems are so valuable in enlightening others to the many forms abuse can take, and for letting others know they are not alone. Your poem was beautiful as always, but it was also sad because it is so real.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights with us--it is so important to combat abuse.

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

dallas93444, Thanks for commenting and reading this hub- support within this topic is so very important.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

CheyenneAutumn, thanks you for reading and for commenting. I am sorry you have experienced such darkness in life-but thankful you have found your way from those days and to something better.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Paradise7,

Thanks so much for the encouraging feedback, it is always very appreciated


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike,

Thanks as always for your feedback and thoughts on the subject matter of my hub. Women often believe as long as they are not bloody and bruised and being beaten daily, they are living a normal life. Mental and Emotional Abuse are just as if not more damaging than the physical, because that is the type of abuse that can not be seen as easily yet the scars held within are a constant reminder of the truth you have known.


aware profile image

aware 6 years ago from West Palm Beach Florida.

dang . i cant help but wonder if your ok.loving to deeply can be a bad thing.

ray


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

aware, I am fine-no need to worry :) I no longer live that life...which is why I write about it...

you are right---loving to the point of obsession is intense and dangerous. Thanks for reading and your concern.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

Once again you have moved me to tears. Emotional abuse in my opnion is the hardest abuse to see since their are no physical scars....yet still, it is abuse. And when someone convinces you that you are unworthy, it is a truly deviously powerful feeling to overcome.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Veronica, Thanks for reading as always I appreciate your feedback and I completely agree with your comment. It is truly a deviously controlling feeling when you feel as if you are unworthy or searching for more or for wanting more. Can tear a person apart in the most painful ways possible


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

powerful, confronting and unfortunately too true...

I will be sharing this with a friend of mine, trying to get free herself from such a man...

Thank you for sharing this


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

nighthag- Thanks for the comment. I am glad that you feel that this poem may help another person...Thanks for sharing it with them :)


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 6 years ago

What an impacting piece! All I could possibly add is that it is not just partners, but this can come from parents as well, who, I believe, leave even deeper wounds. I related to your hub way more than I wanted to, and sighed a huge sigh of relief that I no longer live here. Wow! Really powerful piece!


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

tnderhrt23,

unfortunately you are right- abuse comes from all angles and has no respect for the delicate relationships we all have and should benefit and protect us rather than assist in hurting or attempting to break us down. I am sorry you found ways to relate to this poem and writing-but glad you have found your way away from that life and abuse. Thanks for reading and for being brave enough to share a little of your story and thoughts- I appreciate your comment and encouragement.


ellacor profile image

ellacor 6 years ago

So sad and unfortunately oh so true. Great hub, glad I stopped by.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

ellacor- thank for the comment- I am glad you stopped by too :)


LaurieDawn profile image

LaurieDawn 6 years ago

H.C.,

Beautiful haunting words. Sad that there are people who have to go through life in that way, I am glad to have escaped and you are so right, it gives us stength when we walk away. Your words are sad, but thank you for sharing them in a very poignant way.

Blessings,

Laurie


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

laurieDawn,

Thanks for the comment. Abuse is so common, yet such a dirty, shameful secret for so many families. The strength displayed, having the ability to walk away from a world, and not know what life will be like after leaving-is a strength like no other and it gives a person pride and dignity back. Thanks again for reading and for the comment- I am glad that you liked the poem-as sad as it may have been.


manthy profile image

manthy 5 years ago from Alabama,USA

Voted up and beautiful - I wish more women were like you and know that they have a right to be happy and not to put up with any BS from a guy.It is crazy what women will do for a man, I mean they will literally risk their health and well being getting plastic surgery etc and for what, so the scumbag guy can put her down.

Good Hub - Keep em coming


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 5 years ago from Lone Star State Author

manthy, Thanks for your comment. I agree, many do not know their worth and deserve so much more than what they are getting from their relationship. Hopefully those women one day will wake up and rise above enough to walk away. Thank you again for reading and giving your perspective on the matter.

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