WARNING: Seven Things Women Should NEVER Hear From Men . . .

Is this how you want your wife or girlfriend to react when you tell her a very-foolish thing like the ones in this hub?

NO MAN IN HIS RIGHT MIND WANTS THIS KIND OF LOOK OR RESPONSE FROM HIS SPECIAL GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE.
NO MAN IN HIS RIGHT MIND WANTS THIS KIND OF LOOK OR RESPONSE FROM HIS SPECIAL GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE.

WANT MORE EXAMPLES OF HOW YOUR WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND WILL REACT TO YOUR FOOLISH STATEMENTS?

MEN, DO YOU REALLY LIKE TO GET SCREAMED AT BY YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE? JUST BE SMART. DO NOT SAY THINGS THAT WOMEN HATE.
MEN, DO YOU REALLY LIKE TO GET SCREAMED AT BY YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE? JUST BE SMART. DO NOT SAY THINGS THAT WOMEN HATE.
IF YOU WANT YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE TO REACT LIKE THIS, SAY ONE OR ALL OF THE STUPID THINGS YOU READ IN THIS STORY.
IF YOU WANT YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE TO REACT LIKE THIS, SAY ONE OR ALL OF THE STUPID THINGS YOU READ IN THIS STORY.
FACE IT, GUYS. DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR SPECIAL GIRL TO LOOK LIKE THIS, SO ANGRY SHE COULD CUT AN ARMORED TRUCK INTO WITH HER STARE?
FACE IT, GUYS. DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR SPECIAL GIRL TO LOOK LIKE THIS, SO ANGRY SHE COULD CUT AN ARMORED TRUCK INTO WITH HER STARE?
GASP! THIS IS THE ANGRY SURPRISE YOU WILL GET EVERYTIME YOU SAY SOMETHING STUPID TO YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE.
GASP! THIS IS THE ANGRY SURPRISE YOU WILL GET EVERYTIME YOU SAY SOMETHING STUPID TO YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE.
OH SHE MAY LOOK RAVISHING ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT INSIDE SHE IS AN INFERNO OF ANGER AT THE  DUMB THINGS YOU HAVE SAID.
OH SHE MAY LOOK RAVISHING ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT INSIDE SHE IS AN INFERNO OF ANGER AT THE DUMB THINGS YOU HAVE SAID.
GIRLS DO HAVE FEELINGS, GUYS. AND THERE'S NOT A GIRL ALIVE WHO LOVES FOR YOU TO STAY STUPID THINGS.
GIRLS DO HAVE FEELINGS, GUYS. AND THERE'S NOT A GIRL ALIVE WHO LOVES FOR YOU TO STAY STUPID THINGS.

HEY, GUYS! ARE YOU

a dare devil? A man who throws caution to the wind? A man who doesn't care what he says. To anyone. Including his wife or girlfriend? A fool?

Then why on earth are you constantly in hot water with your special girl or wife? Let me guess because I know how a man thinks, but I am a man. Men are too prideful to admit that they have weak areas in themselves. I do. But I've learned. I've had to many times, reinvent myself in order to make peace and keep the peace in my home. By NOT being so quick to say things to the women I know that may be considered taboo. Off-limits. Unheard of. Not mentioned in public. Not even among ladies in the ladies room. Things that men say out of a relaxed reflex and think that the woman they are talking to will just overlook it. And go on.

Not so. Women have feelings, guys. Sensitive feelings. It's high-time that we mean learned that about the opposite sex. And let's face it, guys. "We" are notorious for 'opening our mouth and inserting our foot' in our jaws. Don't you agree? Now if you are among the very-rare group of men who are perfect in every way from speech to physique, then disregard what I am saying in this story.

But if you are like me, average. Non-famous. Just thankful to be here in life. Then pay attention. I've uncovered. Discovered. Stumbled upon seven things that all women should never hear from any man. Including you.

I will start from the least-ignorant thing a man can say to a woman and end up with THE MOST-UNCALLED-FOR thing that any man can say to any woman. In public. Or private.

7. "YOU REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH?"

there you are. Sitting in a semi-decent cafe with your pretty girlfriend or wife. Suddenly, like women do sometimes when they think that you are paying attention to them, and she says, "My doctor said today that I weighed over 110 pounds. I laughed." Without thinking. Your first blunder. You say what you think is a supportive-remark, but if you were her, would you like to hear, "You really weigh that much?" I don't think so.

6. "AWWW, YOU AIN'T THAT OLD!"

in the same semi-decent cafe. You are sitting eating a pretty-nice dinner with your pretty girlfriend or wife, and she again, is foolish enough to think that you are paying attention to her, says, "My sister argued that "I" was three years older than her," and you uncork this stupid response. With a big bite of liver in your mouth. Get ready to shovel down some 'crow' in a minute for you have just crossed the 'dangerous female line,' and you will pay. I promise. And I am not referring to the bill.

5. "YOU LOOK FINE IN THAT DRESS."

on the way home from the semi-decent cafe, your pretty wife or girlfriend remarks, "Hun, I need some money for a new dress. This one is three years out of style and I look like a cow in it," and without looking at her, you say the above non-intelligent remark. Didn't you know to just hand her the money or credit card? She didn't ask for you to critique her dress. What a doofus.

4. "BOB'S NEW WIFE IS A KNOCK-OUT!"

and who is this Bob you are raving about? And who is Bob's new wife? Didn't you bother to think what you said over in your mind before you let your mouth get you into deep-trouble with your pretty girlfriend or current wife? Remember this word: NEVER tell your special loved one that another woman, even her sister, is a knock-out. A beauty. A bomb shell. This hurts your female companion's self-esteem. Would you like it if she said, "Wow, that Sean Connery is the man I'd like to have if you die before me"? No. You would come unglued.

3. "HUN, YOU DON'T EAT LIKE A HORSE."

need I explain this one? Sometimes, some women have to 'fish for a compliment,' because you will not compliment her out of your own free will. She might intentionally put herself down to hear you disagree with her. For example. "Hun, have you ever noticed how I eat? I eat like a horse. It's disgusting," she says. You, thinking a reinforcing statement is in order, say the above. Her mind is now searching for just what animal you think she DOES resemble when she eats. Will you ever learn, guys? Women are not like us. They are special. With special emotional needs.

2. "JILL, MY WAITRESS, SAID I LOOKED GOOD."

well, you have really done it this time, buddy. You told your wife about you and the guys eating at your favorite Hooters restaurant after your bowling match. That was cool with her. But at this Hooters, you had one too many Miller Lite's and your tongue is in low-gear. When you enter your home, your wife says, "I didn't know that shirt made you look so big," but out of sheer, ignorant male bravado, you reply something that "Jill," your scantily-clad Hooters waitress said about the same shirt. All I can ask is why? Why did you even bother to answer? You should have said, "Right, baby. I will not wear this rag again," and that would have been that.

1. "I LOVE YOU TOO, 'MILDRED.'"

this, guys, is THE worst thing you could ever say to your girlfriend or wife. And it gets you very silently. When you are kissing your girlfriend or wife good night, or good bye, she whispers, "I love you, Bill," and without as much as a thought, you say, "I love you too, Mildred," which was your old flame's name. What is your problem, Bill? Can you focus on your wife, Janey, for just one moment? You will from now on.

One final thing, guys. Did you know that it's an unspoken fact that us guys can get our feelings hurt by other guys? Yes. This is a true fact if I ever told one.

The WORST thing you could NOT do at this point to me is NOT say "thank you," for such an informative article.

So, I, in faith, honestly-reply, "You are welcome."


GUYS, IT'S NOT HARD

just take a moment. Breathe. And think about what you are about to say to your attractive girlfriend or wife. She will appreciate you taking time to give her a quality, intelligent remark.

Do NOT be like every other man on the planet and say whatever YOU think is the best response to what 'she' has just said.

Women also appreciate men who THINK. Remember, guys, I am only trying to help you.

More by this Author


Comments 78 comments

Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Kenneth, shame, shame, shame! You know there's more than 7! But, I got a good laugh out of this Hub, anyway. Tells you how exciting my life is--HubPages on a Friday night! Voted up!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL, Dear Arlene...thank you, sweet friend. Yes, there are MORE than seven, but I didnt want to bore my readers and make all of the men more angry with more uncalled-for remarks. I think that Friday nights are great for hub reading and writing. Thanks for the vote. I love it. YOU, Arlene, should write a hub with a title, "10 Most Stupid Things Ever Said To Me By A Man," I guarantee it will fly. Think about it.


V Qisya 4 years ago

Hahaha! You, Ken always make me smile and laugh. Yep, that's the way to talk to girls. You're so right, Ken.

It's true when you said women appreciate men who think.

Amazing hub! Voted up and away.

Take care, Ken.

Love, V


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

This is great! I am sharing this with my husband...


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

You did it again. Thank you for that laugh. I can laugh because I am not on the other end. great hub


Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Kkkkkkkkkenneth! I can't think of 10 things right now, but that is a lovely idea for a Hub. Maybe I should get on the phone and talk to the exes. Hold it right there! I'm not speaking to those guys! Not in YEARS. No mas, no mas!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

"DEAR" V., THANKS A BUNCH! Your comment is well-worth the research that went into this sensitive hub. I hope I havent made any guys angry at me. I was just calling like I saw it. And V., thanks for all of your sweet comments, friendship and VALUED-Follow. I shall NOT take it for granted.

Love, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, justateacher...this is wonderful, you sharing this with your husband. For curosity's sake, is he an ex-Marine? Navy Seal? Boxer? Does he know Judo? I am just preparing in case he grows angry at me. I am NOT a good fighter, but a swell diplomat. Thanks so much for your comment. Visit with me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, mljdgulley...you are so welcome. I love to make my followers and non-followers laugh. Smile. And enjoy themselves. I HAVE, to be honest, in my past, said some things similar to the above items and I paid the price. FACT: Women have tremendous hearing. I know this for a fact. Thank YOU for your comments and visit.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Now, Arlene, you know that a professional hubwriter like yourself has to take one for the team once in awhile. Grit your teeth, not mine, please, and talk to the X's...and maybe you can get some real 'gems,' for your hub. Go for it! And . . .thank you for your warm comment. I do appreciate it.


howtojunkies profile image

howtojunkies 4 years ago

"BOB'S NEW WIFE IS A KNOCK-OUT!" haha there's no fault for telling the truth. very truthful and hilarious hub! voted up!


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 4 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

How do you do, Sir. This is really fun hub to read. Thank you for making me laugh.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, howtojunkies...I guess you get a point for that one. I never saw it that way, but I am not one to argue about Bob's wife. Hey, listen. Is her brunette hair real, or just an extension? You can tell me. I wont tell. Seriously . . .thank you so much for reading this hub. That made my night.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Freya Cesare . . .I tell about life and the things I have experienced. Mostly the trouble Ive been in with women and sometimes an angry bully. It's a journey. Life. We can either accept it. Live it to the fullest. Or simply sit on the sidelines. I prefer to live it. Thank YOU warmly for your sweet comment. Merry Christmas.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth

Move over Dr. Phil. Relationship expert Kenneth Avery is here.

Voted up up and away!

Have a great weekend my dear friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL, in tears, DEAREST Susan!I do favor him...the bald head, but Im not a personal friend of Ophrah. Thanks for the SWEET comment and votes....I appreciate it more than you know. Ive missed you. Take care and enjoy yourself. Loved the Lovesick Fool! Keep up the great work. YOU be safe, DEAREST Susan!


inaniLoquence profile image

inaniLoquence 4 years ago from Singapore

Thanks for reading my hub about the "11 Nerdy I Love You Illustrations"! However, you were mistaken in saying that I had left a comment in your hub "Seven Things Women Should Never Hear From Men". It was the "In Laws" hub that I have just commented on... (Well technically, I have left a comment on this hub by writing this... since you mentioned the title in your comment) So I had to read this hub, like pronto.

I hope I did not confuse you just now. :) Anyway, I had a blast reading through this hub. The "I Love You Too Mildred" part probably brought home the bacon. AHHA.

And I agree with Sueswan above for putting you in par (even higher) than Dr. Phil! Five thumbs up for this writer! (If only I have five thumbs!)


mega1 profile image

mega1 4 years ago

I can only pray that you will find a really decent cafe soon so that you can afford such strife. It's the "semi-decent" that is getting you everytime. Surround you and your wife with excellence and believe me, it won't matter what you say to her! Also, continued and constant access to all credit cards and bank accounts pretty much does it for me. I could care if the guy is obtuse - just show me the money! (now, you know I'm not really like this, otherwise, why would I be so poor?) Good Hub Ken! I am glad you are educating yourself and others about women. Finally!! :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, inaniLouquence, you are right. I was wrong. It was the "in-laws," hub, not this one you left a comment, but now, I thank you for your comment on this hub...seriously, I do know buddies, well now, ex-buddies who have actually said ignorant things such as these and suffered hard and long. But as for the "Mildred," line...thank God, I have yet to make this error. And hope I die before I do. Nothing is as insulting (now Im thinkig like a woman) as to have another woman's name come out of my male companion's mouth at such an intimate moment as kissing. And other times. That has to be THE ultimate LOW. And I still invite you to be a follower. I would love that. Have a great day.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Mega1...you are right also. I get snookered everytime with the decent cafe's. I guess they are cursed or something. Cursed by an ancient Egyptian prophetess who was jilted by a pre-Christ Egyptian prince while dining on the food of god's and she swore to curse all men from that moment on, and even from her abode on the other side, to men who love to be with women, but think that they, the men, can say what they will and the poor ladies will sit and endure it. Maybe this is a story for The Discovery Channel. And Mega, I KNOW you are not like what you are joking about....money and CCards. You are a warm and caring human being. And one of my best followers and closest allies. I mean it.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@inanLouquence...I forgot to say thanks for agreeing with Sueswan about me getting two notches over Phil. I guess you can start calling me Dr. Ken. On my next show, we discuss the secret of "depression in tropical birds," hope you will be here for that blockbuster show. My guests will be Oprah Winfrey, Jack Hannah from the San Diego Zoo and Justin Timberlake doing his impression of a talented singer. Thanks everyone.


inaniLoquence profile image

inaniLoquence 4 years ago from Singapore

I believe I am already a follower. For about two-three months already. :)

You cracked me up at the TV show host's line above. I would look forward to that tropical bird depression star-studded segment.

Thanks!


carolyn a. ridge profile image

carolyn a. ridge 4 years ago

Well, you've done it again - created a masterpiece! Great hub, King of Hub, keep up the good work. Hope you're feeling better. Merry Christmas to you and yours.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, inanLoquence, thank you very MUCH for your sweet remark. Dr. Ken will debut in (some) tv markets in two weeks with a star-studded line-up including Max Carrol, the man who was given a job testing electric razors in the shower and Timmy Fields, the guy who used a match, on advice of his bully-friend, "Scratch," to see if there was gas in the tank. And I will have musical entertainment by the regrouped 70's superband, Chicago. That's Dr. Ken, on most tv stations who will allow me to buy air time. And I will take live call-in's from you about the controversial, "Depression found in tropical birds," with now -retired psychologist, Dr.Joyce Brothers. What a time we will have. And I see that you get a free ticket. Okay?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sweet friend, carolyn, a personal "thank you," for your kind remarks. A masterpiece? That humbles me, but YOU and others on Hubs can do masterpieces in your sleep better than I can. I am not just saying that. I DO appreciate your kindness. And may I call you, "Queen of Hub," Carolyn? That would fit. I will check on you later and thanks a million for the comment and sweet visit.


RunAbstract profile image

RunAbstract 4 years ago from USA

You are spot on with this list!

Great Hub, and voted up +!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

this is so funny and true... wow.. you know... I love it... and thank you for writing it..very enjoyable.. I voted up..


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, on December 19, RunAbstract, thank you very much for your comments. I appreciate them so much. My hubs are all "works of, well, leaps of faith," sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. But I guess that's the way life is. Are you a fan of Survivor on CBS? Did you see the finale last night? The winner, the Sophie girl, came out of left field and won the $1 million smackers. What a shrewd player.


Kiela Starcatcher profile image

Kiela Starcatcher 4 years ago from Chicago, IL

ROFL! Rated up/funny!

I knew I was about to get a well-needed laugh when you said you were starting with the least offensive... and then opened up with "YOU REALLY WEIGH THAT MUCH?" HAHAHA

Awesome satire voice - fun read! Thank you!!


yellowribbon 4 years ago

ahaha great article !! thanks for sharing if only all guys knew this :D


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Kiela . . ."Thank you, SINCERELY, for your warm remark that made me smile from ear to ear tonight." "Thanks for taking time to read my hubs. YOUR input, support,and comments are gladly-welcomed and apprecaited.!" Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, yellowribbon, and a personal, sincere THANK YOU for the thought-provoking comment. Im prone to agree with you. If. Thats a big word. Especially when us guys are forced to actually 'think.' LOL. Thanks!


alipuckett profile image

alipuckett 4 years ago

So, so true! And I really love your solution. How hard is it to THINK about what you're saying before you say it! Haha. Nice hub. Thanks for the info! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Good advice Ken - all great points:) lol Thanks for the laughs! And I will share it with my husband too:)


ShyeAnne profile image

ShyeAnne 4 years ago from Deep Bay, British Columbia, Canada

Voted up, Entertaining!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

alipuckett, Thank YOU so MUCH for the comment and visit. I appreciate them both. Yes, it is hard, for me, to do that...think before speaking. But I can say with a fiery conviction that the world's problems could be solved with one thing, your comment, THINKING BEFORE SPEAKING. Great advice.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

RealHouseWife...thank YOU for your visit. And comments. I have been missing you a lot. Is there something wrong? The reason I ask is that in the beginning, your comments were great inspiration for hub ideas for me because of your razor-sharp sense of humor. I hope you are okay. And may I ask, is your husband, a Navy Seal? Marine Drill Instructor? Just checking. Happy New Year, RealHouseWife!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, ShyeAnne....THANKS, DEAR FRIEND, for the comment. And vote. I appreciate both very much. Havent heard from you in a while. Hope you are doing well. And I do hope for you and all of my followers, that you have a safe, happy and healthy New Year.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well I did have some issues for 3 months....my uncle had a car accident and a traumatic brain injury (as of 8/2/2011). I took care of him and helped rehab him. He just went home and is doing amazingly good but I tell ya - that's a tough job! I didn't have much time to spare so I am really looking forward to more free time! Lol


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

RealHousewife, Im terribly sorry for your trauma. I had no way of knowing. But Im very glad that your uncle is doing good. Yes, this is a tough job. I tried to help with my dad and mom, and with this Accelerated Fibromyalgia and Neurothopy, it is tough as you say...both are in heaven now. They are in NO pain. And you, my friend, enjoy yourself. Okay? Look forward to reading more of your exciting hubs.////Kenneth


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Kenneth, you really do know women! Good for you. Another great Hub that brought me my daily laugh...thanks!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

12/27

Dear catgypsy,

Thanks for the nice comment, but no, I wish I knew MORE about women, who my mom said, "are God's second-best creations," and taught me early that I was to respect ALL females. I hope she is proud of me--as she looks down from Heaven. That one thing I CAN say that Ive done over my life. Respect females. And giving YOU a laugh, that is even better. We are all here for a purpose, and if giving people a laugh is my purpose...I can live with that. Thanks very MUCH, cat. God bless you.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

You are a true Southern gentleman and I'm sure your mom is very proud.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

12/28

DEAR catgypsy, that is so kind and sweet of you to day. I really appreciate that. And needed some kindness today. Thank you for your perfect-timing. And I will love to meet my mom in the after-life and see what she says about how I wrote and treated women. What a great memory.

Thanks,

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ catgypsy, this comment, for me, is an act of faith. To return your kindness, I would say that you are a modern-day southern belle, but that might sound sexist and offend you, so I will alter my reply to this, you are a modern-day southern lady. How is that?

Your friend, KENNETH


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I talk to my mom all the time (she passed away in '07) and tell her I hope I'm making her proud. I'm sure your mom will tell you that you did great! I'm glad I could provide you with a boost in your day. Hubpages is a great place to come to when you're feeling down. There are so many great hubs to read and, like yours, to make you laugh or brighten your day. From a southern belle to a southern gentleman, I hope your days only get better and better.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

I am very touched. And moved by your sweet and honest words. Thank you, from my heart. I shall treasure your thoughts for a lifetime. And listen. I LOVE YOUR WORK. Your hubs send rays of hope and even laughter into lives also. DO NOT sell your work short. I LOVE IT. Thanks for the nice visit.

Kenneth


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

This hub is a so funny; it is a pleasure to read. Sometimes I feel sorry for men because they just don't seem to know some of those words they should keep to themselves. Women can be fairly sensitive, but I have seen the same characteristic in some men also. It is smart to think before speaking obviously and it more easily done when the individual is sober.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear Pamela . . .Thank YOU for your kind comments. I cannot thank you enough for ALL of your support since my joining hubs around seven months ago. I DO appreciate YOU and YOUR work also. Men are the worst at speaking before thinking. I admit it. I think we men need a refresher course in quite thoughts. NOT open mouths. Thanks again, Kenneth


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Thanks so much kenneth, you are truly a doll!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ catgypsy

@ 8:28 p.m.,cst

Hey, how did you know the day Ive had? This is so great, and yet so mysterious. Ive been at it all day doing chores in and outside, those I can do, and was feeling pretty spent. Im so glad I checked my messages and there YOU WERE!!!! And I Sincerely Thank YOU, catgypsy, for this sweet and appreciated-comment. I needed that more than you know. So one classy southern (belle) lady . . ."Good night and thanks again!" Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

PS, @ catgypsy...if I may be so bold, "so are you!"


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

I agree with catgypsy. You are a doll. :-)


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I'm glad it cheered you up and I meant every word!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dearest Susan! Thank YOU for the sweet comment. It's now 12:52 a.m./cst, and I was in the process of shutting down. One last hub check before bed. Have a great Friday and be careful. Be sure to eat at Billy Joe's Burger Galaxy. The chef knows what you like. LOL! Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, catgypsy . . .In a word, WOW! My hands are shaking at the nice comment you left. WOW! I wish I had a spontaeneous spirit so I could leave you a comment just as potent. WOW! Will that do for now???

Have a great Friday,

Kenneth


prettynutjob30 profile image

prettynutjob30 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

Great hub,one major thing for me would have to be when we say how we need to lose weight,and the man's reply is start giving us diet tips.That one will get a man smacked hard lol.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

That will do fine, Kenneth! Have a Happy New Year1


dl53acy profile image

dl53acy 4 years ago from East Texas

LOL! Kenneth you nailed it on this too! OMG! You are hilarious! I truly enjoyed it and thanks for sharing! You're awesome! :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

prettynutjob,

thank YOU for your intelligent comment. I do wish I had thought of YOUR point that makes girls angry. And who could blame you or any girl who would smack a jerk who said this to you? Thanks a million. YOU are very-appreciated. Happy New Year. Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DEAR catgypsy,

"Thank YOU, for your warm comment. And "WOW," for saying that too. I have news for you. Tonight a plan was set into motion. And if the weather is warm MONDAY...in the daytime...Ive got the artwork for a Resolution hub I need to hammer out and get it up and running. The plan Ive devised is get a warm blanket, throw, or jacket and sit here and work in a totally-focused manner until the hub is done. I feel so bad at not being able to produce two a day, but I can do only what my body says I can do. And YOU hang tough and be careful over the weekend. Okay? Happy New Year!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear dl53acy! Happy New Year to you and yours! And a sincere thank you for the uplifting comment you left. I appreciate so much, MY FOLLOWERS, who may not realize, just how much they mean to me. YOU keep your great hubs a coming. And have a "safe" blast this weekend.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Sounds good Kenneth. Looking forward to any new hubs from you! I will be staying in for New Years...as you get older, you just don't care about the "partying" as much! Besides, I can't drink with some of the meds I'm on, so it will be a safe, quiet, no hangover New Year...haha!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

just pray for warm weather for Monday. And I too am looking for new hubs from you. I cherish your work, cat. And as for me, and the party-scene, did that years ago. Suffered for that. Nerves are now shot. Honest. No wonder this Accelerated Fibro and Neurohopy and my meds will always keep me tame. LOL. I wasnt that much of a party person to be honest. I was always the last one to wake up and with HUUUGE hangovers. The king that cold chili and raw eggs mixed with tobasco cannot touch. Those are the most-painful. I am thankful that those lost nights are over. And I've not said this to you, but I will now. "Of all the blessings I've been given in 2011, one of my Favorite is finding YOU on hubs. You are so talented that its not funny, but you also have such a caring spirit that I am ashamed of the little that Ive done or said to encourage YOU, but in 2012...that WILL STOP...I am going to encourage YOU like a wild man. Oh, if thats okay with you. Im staying in New Year's Eve too....love that good sleep. Talk to you later. For sure...take care, catgypsy!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I don't miss the party days either! You do plenty to encourage me, just by knowing you enjoy my Hubs. Funny how all the "wild" stuff we do in our youth comes back to haunt us later, huh? If we only knew then what we know now, but we probably still would have done it...haha. Have a good sleep tonight!

You take care too,

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

12:46 a.m./cst, 2012...hi, catgypsy, and YES, I do enjoy your hubs, viewpoints, opinions, comments, one-liners and my just knowing that you are in my world. I know that sounds forward, and I dont mean for it to, I just felt like typing from the heart at this early hour. I DID NOT miss ANY of the wild side of life today, tonight, or if I live to see the sun come up. Just stay as nice as you are, cat, and you will touch many lives in the sweet ways you have touched mine.

Happy New Year!

Your Friend for Life in Marion Co.

Kenneth


kerlynb profile image

kerlynb 4 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

LOL! This is a brutally honest list of things that guys should never ever have the mistake of telling their WAGs. Well-written! You gave me a good laugh here :) If I may add, guys ought to keep away from the subject of make-ups. Women LOVE make-ups while most men hate too much of them. So to be safe, guys should rather call attention to their WAGs' cakey foundation or out-of-line lipstick indirectly. That should keep the peace and quiet in the relationship. Have to vote this one up and useful and funny!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kerlynb...Happy New Year to you and Thank YOU for the info. I wish I had used YOUR tip in this hub. It's a GREAT way for us guys to stay in WAG's good graces. Nice going! Thank you for the visit and comment. Have a great day or night!


Marie-Renee profile image

Marie-Renee 4 years ago

LOL but so true!While I find this list really funny I have to admit that yes men should have more sensitivity...I am a woman and I know that though we complain about our weight, our shape and the way we look, we don't really want to hear our men agree with us...what we want to hear from our special someone is an appreciation of how we look (no matter what), find a way to say something nice...just don't agree that we do not look good or that we look our age or anything like that. love it and will be reading more. voted up and following now.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Marie-Renee . . .THANKS FOR THE . . .

WONDERFUL COMMENTS. Loved them. Needed your input.

WARM way you gave me some ideas for a new hub...which I will dedicate to you.

FOLLOWING...I really appreciate this so much, Marie. And the votes, Yes! Thank YOU. I shall not forget your kindness. Your friend, Kenneth


Mark Pitts profile image

Mark Pitts 4 years ago from United States

You are an incredible suck-up to women, and I so desperatly need to learn from you! Great Hub!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Gee, uhh, wow, Mark, this is the ultimate in comments. An 'incredible suck-up,' you say? LOL, Mark, my rates for teaching are FREE. Thanks for the manly remark. And Mark, you da man!

Kenneth


Theresa_Kennedy profile image

Theresa_Kennedy 4 years ago from Minnesota

Dear Kenneth,

After reading your nice comments in my red flags hub, I just had to check out some of your many hubs. And I'm glad I did! You are a world class writer and it's a privilege to cross paths with you. I think I enjoyed reading your reader comments just as much as the hub itself. Yep, I think it's official, you ARE a doll. A truly awesome man. I'm happy to be a fan and rate up your hubs.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

May I return your niceties to you, Theresa? I appreciate YOU so much that you cannot grasp how much. I love to associate with REAL and TALENTED people such as yourself. But the talented and arrogant people can just drive on by. I can live without them. And it is MY pleasure to have YOU in my world and talking about dolls, YOU are the doll. And a girl that I respect for whom she is and the talent she projects.

Sincerely,

KENNETH


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Once I wipe the tears from my eyes from laughing I will "thank you". Another hilarious and painfully true hub!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear shiningirisheyes . . .(my key word)--"Wow!!!" Thank you for this very sweet comment. I appreciate this so much. I am so blessed to have YOU as my friend. I mean that sincerely.

KENNETH

PS: Need a Kleenex?


Ano 3 years ago

It's fun to read, but it's no real advice right?

Because becoming a good submissive puppy isn't a great either :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Ano,

Its both, to me. Hopefully a fun read for you, and some advice hidden within the text. You are right. The life of a submissive puppy is not great. I agree. And listen. If you arent a follower of mine, I cordially invite you to do that. It would make my day.

Merry Christmas.

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