Why do women stray in marriages? Women have affairs for many reasons. Women want to be loved, respected, and admired.

Women want to be sexually alluring to their mates. They want to be a part of their husbands lives. Women want love, kissing, and foreplay!

Some men have not been sexually sensitive to their wife's needs. Some men, have a pattern of slam bamming, their wives without any sensual touching.They have used sex only to fulfill their own needs, without any regard for their wife's feelings.

When women marry, they expect that they will be loved by their husbands. Ah therein lies the problem..Often they are not..Some are just trophy wives. Their husbands only care how they look to the outside world.

Often women are looking for someone like their dad, or unlike their dad..Some are secure, and some are insecure..Some have been treated well, and some have not..

They buy into the fairy tales that some charming handsome prince is going to sweep them off their feet and love only them. They want their husbands to shower them with love and praise!

They soon fall into wedded bliss, all dressed up in sexy lingerie, and hot lovemaking, which soon turns into a scene from taming of the shrew!

Candlelit dinners and wine come to a grinding halt. Romantic passionate encounters end, and evenings out with their selected mate soon disappears into the foggy mists, in which they came.

Conversations lag, as their beloved mate makes a beeline for Internet connections with friends, and secret private connections with beautiful young lasses!

Disillusionment rears its ugly head, and everything unlike love shows up in the relationship. Indifference, arguments, jealousy, viciousness, secrets, lies and ancient hatreds rise to the surface.

Soon one is the victimizer and the other plays the victim. It becomes a vicious cycle, where no one wins.

.Accusations, and defenses fills the air with broken dreams

.Disenchanted, the husband soon seeks out another..

He neglects his wife.

The wife feels lonely and seeks out affection and romance with someone she can talk to. Someone who really admires, and loves her.

Some wives cheat for revenge! They want there husbands to feel the pain, they feel, when their husband strays. Some men do not feel emotions like women do, until its been done to them.

Once a man cheats, it's a whole new ballgame. It feels as if all the rules have been changed. The woman no longer feels inclined to follow the rules!

An affair is thrilling, and its a wonderful high. A woman will usually try to tell her husband, there's a problem before an affair occurs.

If he's cold or indifferent, she may feel she has no choice. If a wife feels neglected, she becomes vulnerable, and can easily succumb to having an emotional or physical affair.

She doesn't feel connected to her husband. She needs the intimacy she is not receiving from her husband.The other man compliments the wife!

Some women have affairs, as a way of leaving the marriage.. Its called an "escape hatch"

If she has children, the wife may have a hard time leaving her marriage. Men are less tolerant of their wives having affairs, even if he is also unfaithful.

Usually most men will seek out divorce, when their wives stray.

Some women are bored with their sex life, and feeling lonely, they crave affection and intimate touch. They seek out passionate, fiery encounters.

Some seek out old boyfriends or lovers to recreate their youth with someone they once loved. It makes them feel sexier, and younger.

Some seek out affairs, when they've become ill, or when they have experienced a near death experience. A near death experience cause women to rethink their lives.

They look at their life in greater depth, reminded of their mortality. Feeling let down by their husbands, when they needed them the most, they feel wounded.

They start seeking for a soul mate, someone who is sensitive and loving. They may even fall in love with the other man.

The wife has a need to be validated. If she'd had a loving, caring, compassionate husband, she would not have reached out to the other man.

A happily married woman who has a good relationship with her husband will not stray.

If the husband is willing to forgive, and love his wife unconditionally, then they're marriage has a chance of succeeding.

They may need the help of a marriage counselor, clergy, or a good friend to help them heal from the infidelity.

Infidelity is a call for help. If the husband truly listens to his wife's call for help without anger or malice, then he just might experience feelings of peace and happiness, in his marriage. If he chooses not to forgive her, then he's going to repeat the lesson again, with her or someone else..

In the process, of forgiveness he just might heal his relationship with his wife.

As they say, "the past is gone'

If not the marriage may be doomed.


Comments 22 comments

PenmanZee profile image

PenmanZee 5 years ago

Great article, Donna! One question, though. Does this paradigm still hold - that the woman strays for lack of love and affection. Do they not stray unprovoked just like men these days?

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

Emmyboy, thank you, for your insightful comment!

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

David, I understand your response, because I know it can make start wondering about your wife, and that's why its so important for you to have good communication with your wife.. Honesty is so important in all relationships...

Emmyboy profile image

Emmyboy 5 years ago from Nigeria

So so true...

David 5 years ago

Thanks for the response, it kinda makes me feel uneasy about all women - which is bad.

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

David, I would never want to hurt another woman in that way. Its devastating, to all parties, when the truth comes out... Its hard to understand human nature, until it happens to them...

David 5 years ago

Something I can't figure is that my wifes women friends don't seem particularly concerned that one of their friends ( recently separated ) is now happily having an affair with a married man. None of them seem to condemn it and just say well she only uses the man for casual sex when she feels like as though it's no big deal.

Yet I am sure that they all would berate any woman who had an affair with their other half. Why can women casually overlook this thing and even be supportive of this woman.

As it happens the woman who's husband has ran off with someone else had an affair with him whilst he was in a previous marriage. So I guess what goes around comes around.


Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

TCM Specialist, Thank you for your kind words. You have great wisdom! Our happiness never comes from without, but only from within. Marriage is about honest communication. The grass is never greener on the other side..There's such deep sadness and guilt in this world.. Happy Easter to you! You are wonderful!!!

TCM Specialist profile image

TCM Specialist 5 years ago from Glassboro, New Jersey

Love your article. This only confirms my opinion that people should stop looking at others to provide them with self worth and gain ownership of personal voids and insecurities. Maturity and a realistic approach to marriage are key if striving for a successful relationship. The grass is never greener on the other side, it usually only has more manure.

Voted up, and AWESOME :) Happy Easter to you and yours

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

speedthrills, I am so sorry that your wife hurt you. I'm not sure that women always seek the thrill of another man. I believe many women want to be loved and honored by the man they love. In our societies, men have not been condemned, like women have been for having affairs.. Their has always been a double standard.. I don't believe affairs work in the long run. Its the lies and dishonesty that causes guilt..for some its an addiction..and its a call for help..

speedthrills 5 years ago

I think all women seek the thrill of another man. Some manage to keep it in check and some let loose. Men have just been suckered into this institution of marriage. That way the woman has us on a leash financially and emotionally. No sane man would ever actively seek marriage. This is truly a woman's gift to mankind!

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

Independentwriter..Thank you for your kind remarks!..Something else that I learned, if its not worked out or forgiven, the problem will only reoccur again, until its been met with love..

independentwriter profile image

independentwriter 5 years ago from the Snowy Northeast

This was a really inspiring hub. I think that sometimes women cheat on their husbands to get their attention. The wife may need something fulfilled deep down that the husband is missing. I agree that all marriages can heal from infidelity if both parties choose. However, I know of an instance where the husband caught the wife in infidelity and she kept on getting caught. The husband requested numerous times that she stop. Eventually with counseling the storm tossed waters of their marriage became peaceful again.

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

speethrills, I admire your courage to stick with your marriage..I know how difficult it is..because what we don't forgive in our partner, only comes up again with someone else..I know we have to train our minds not to dwell on past mistakes, and to remember the good things about them.

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Emers 5 years ago

Its nce ms.donna suthard of texas yah!it hppnd as said cheatng is a past for thy othrs hws love like that.us a sngle i see it anywre just like here n middle east which i am wrkng same temptation is quitely mch near than i thought sme r cheatng der miraggs,cz i encounter alrdy and i learn wt u said on ms.donna suthard nce advce t those smeone else out thre.have a nce to u.

speedthrills 5 years ago

Donna, I could have sworn you were a psychic - but then you are! Yep, the marriage is working out like a shattered mirror that we are piecing back together. The final view is sure not going to be perfect!

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

Youmeget, thank you for the wonderful comment..Its so important to communicate with these hubs. There's so much misery and unhappiness in this world..especially in relationships!

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

Speedthrills, I hope everything turned out good for you in your marriage!

Donna Suthard profile image

Donna Suthard 5 years ago Author

yes its true, both men and women stray! Not all, but many do. Women are not willing to accept the double standard that has long existed. In some countries, women are executed, for affairs. In this country its been more accepted for men to stray..I think everyone wants to be loved and validated..

Thank you for your comments

youmeget profile image

youmeget 5 years ago

I love this hub. It's always good to share interesting stuff like this.

speedthrills 5 years ago

Yeah, Yeah! Been there done that! Marriage is based on a foundation of feathers. One straying puff and its all gone!

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Very inspiring hub. I learn much from you. I thought only man who have affair and cheat on their marriage. But I am totally wrong. Women can do this also. Thanks for share this. Rated up!


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