10 Warning Signs You Shouldn't Ignore In Online Dating

We are all searching for our better half, even if it's in cyberspace.
We are all searching for our better half, even if it's in cyberspace.
Don't let anonymity of being online make you drown as a real person in a real world.
Don't let anonymity of being online make you drown as a real person in a real world. | Source
Love is sweet, and finding a true match in real life should never be taken for granted.
Love is sweet, and finding a true match in real life should never be taken for granted.

Ready to find love online? Beware of the pitfalls of online dating. Here are some red flags you shouldn't ignore.

Dating is one of the most exciting, (and sometimes) frustrating times in one's life as a single. There are so many choices online, it's like being free in a candy store, not knowing which sweet treat to pick first. But there are also hidden rats among the aisles, and some of the candy can be detrimental to your emotional health, especially in large doses.

Here are some helpful tips to spot a tummy (or heart) ache waiting to happen:

  1. They message you several times, and don't offer or agree to meet with you. I've spent way too much time messaging prospects I thought had potential, only to feel like I just wasn't interesting enough to warrant a meeting. For whatever reason some people keep contacting you even though they seem "too busy" to meet, or string you along forever, don't sweat it. Move onto communicating with people who seem genuinely interested, and keep in touch regularly.
  2. They don't respond to messages, or call after you give your number for several days. Major red flag here: if a man or woman is interested, they will hop to it to write back. Shoot, it only takes but a few minutes to write a few sentences. So why don't they have time to do so? Well, as they say, "they're just not that into you." Stop holding out the notion that he or she will "come around" when they realize what a great person you are. Um, yeah, if they are slacking off at the beginning, imagine how poorly they will treat you later on if they were in a relationship with you. For men, a second try might help refresh a woman's memory of you, but for women, drop the dead weight when a guy is aloof.
  3. He or she is vague in descriptions of themselves. On a profile, you're basically giving a sales pitch. In essence, we are "selling ourselves" to "buyers" aka: the prospective candidate. So, if you spot that someone has very little to say about themselves, be very cautious. It could be a sign he or she is already in a relationship, and doesn't want their cover blown, or is just a devious "sneaky snake." Pass on these types.
  4. They message you and don't call before meeting. Can we say insecure? or how about passive aggressive? shy? stupid? No matter how you look at it, not calling someone before a first meeting is so childish. You have to hear a person's voice to be half-way comfortable they're not a creep. Even kindergarteners talk to each other on the playground. Note to men: just call the lady, would ya?
  5. He or she is late on the first meeting. Disrespectful and immature to say the least. If they don't bother to text or call to say they'll be running late: write them off immediately.
  6. He or she doesn't show up for the first meeting. Drop-kick this person. Next.
  7. You are asked to send pictures of yourself right away. Do I have to point out, that this person is only interested in the visuals you provide? A man or woman that is looking to know the "real you" will ask questions, not ask for more images. Pass on them!
  8. They ask you about your feet or shoe size. Foot fantasizer anyone? If you're OK with that, proceed with caution. And don't forget to wear strappy heals on a date.
  9. They send you an unsolicited adult pics. Obviously, this is mostly geared toward women who get an image with "too much skin" in their inbox or cell phone. I recently had a hot, young thing message me, claiming he was "fed up" with women his age being so immature. Well, before sending an "artistic" pic of himself, he had the decency to ask me if it was alright. I kindly asked him not to, until I was ready for it. He did anyway. He's toast. Skip on the flashers. I smell childhood issues and room for therapy in the air. Although, his body was rocking... I might just keep him in my contacts.
  10. They disappear after the first few dates. This person obviously has some sort of critical issues. Or maybe you are too clingy, lied about your age and weight on your profile, or have smelly breath. Either way, if they don't stick around for at least a few dates before they decide you're not the one, then they're not worth your time to wonder about. This goes for men and women. Although, as women, we often encounter the two-date wonders. It would be easier if men would just tell you why they don't think you'd be a match before "poof," disappearing, but just refer to the previous tip: I smell therapy in the air. Not worth wondering about. Pass and next!

So in essence, try to keep an open mind, open heart, and don't take things too personally. There are so many "fish" in the pool of dating that it's not worth your time wondering, "why?" The only true answer is: he or she was not meant for you.

If and when you find someone who's equally as interested in you as you are in them, consider yourself luckier than a lottery winner! They say that "love comes when you least expect it," but many couples found each other online-- so they were clearly looking! Keep your chin up, and spirits high. Live your life like you are number one, anyway, and anyone else that comes along will be there to just enjoy it with you. Happy sailing with online dating. And whatever you do, don't forget: it's cyberspace. Rejection online is impersonal, not like a slap across the face in person. Although, sometimes, a good slap would tell you right away if someone's not into you.

Use your best judgment, and don't ignore any red flags. Tell a friend where you plan to meet. Take your time to get to know someone for safety. Happy dating!

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Comments 10 comments

Vampsdes profile image

Vampsdes 4 years ago from Missouri, US

When I was single about 3 year ago, I was on a dating site. I wish I had read this hub then. So much of this is true. I found so many people that had little or no contact with me that would then all of the sudden want to meet up. It just struck me as so odd. I found my husband online so it all worked out, but this is excellent advice for those dating online right now! Thumbs up!


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks for that, Vampsdes. Yeah, as I share my stories with others, I'm starting to realize how common most of this is-- and wish someone would have warned me about it, too. Oh, well, at least I learn from my mistakes. Thanks for stopping by.


Georgie Lowery profile image

Georgie Lowery 4 years ago from Slaton, Texas USA

Great hub!

I really dislike people on dating sites that want to call or text me after very few messages. Maybe some people will give up their phone numbers right away, but I think it's creepy.


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Good point Georgie: I've had a few strange occurrences where the first message is already asking to see me, and I feel awkward having to write back, "I'd prefer to get comfortable knowing you for a few days before I give out my number or meet." One guy even gave me an attitude. Wow people-- you really have to keep your guard up online. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago

Very interesting. I also think it should be pointed out that not all online dating sites are equal when it comes to the quality of their members. Too many times people also are in a hurry to meet someone who they would be better off not meeting! One great thing about online dating is you can weed people out based upon how they communicate or don't communicate with you. Another great thing is you don't have to invest a whole lot of time and emotion in any one person.

Lastly it's important to remember everyone is keeping their "options" open and looking for the best possible match or (matches). Therefore they aren't likely to feel too obligated keep promises with someone they have yet to meet. It's easier to deal with rejection when you aren't emotionally invested to begin with. Like you said profiles are pretty much advertisments and there is a ton of competition out there. Whether a person finds "the one" or simply collects a lot of funny stories online dating is a way to be proactive without risking too much time or money. After one reaches a certain age it beats standing in long lines waiting to get into an over-crowded nightclub. LOL


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Well said, dashingscorpio. We have a lot of common ideas about this sort of thing, or at least my "spider senses are tingling." When you give someone too many choices (like online dating), they get confused and inundated with choices, making them impatient or lose interest. I've put my online dating connections on the backburner, otherwise, I'll get burned out. One Sunday night, I went to check in on things, and got so many emails at once, that I just left the site: I was overwhelmed, and couldn't respond fast enough before 3 more were in my inbox (I know, a girl should be so lucky, but I did get swept away and lost interest). I totally get what you're saying. I still believe the best way to find "the one" is by chance, when the spark of love just happens by happenstance. Ah, to dream. Meanwhile, we writers are privileged to have plenty to write about in our adventures.

Scorpio: please include me in your book! I'm a strong supporter of my peers, especially in the relationship niche. Give me a heads up when you're in publication, ok? By best wishes to your success!


Chandryclaire profile image

Chandryclaire 4 years ago

A lot of my friends ask me to join a dating site and I say no. They just think I'm weird for not giving any man a chance. At this point in my life, I am enjoying being single. It is so important to enjoy your company before you even attempt to be in a serious relationship. A man or woman can't fill a relationship void because only God can fill that. However, one of my good friends met a great guy online several years ago and she moved to England to marry him and they have beautiful twins so maybe 1 0ut of a million relationships might work through an online dating site.

Also these days every one is relying more and more on technology for communication and connection. So online dating might possibly be safe through a secure site like E Harmony or something.

Women like me also cannot wait for some prince charming to roll up on white horse to my doorstep to ask me out.

There has to be balance between online dating and meeting someone at your work, church or the grocery store or someplace!

Thank you for this hub. It was very informative and now I can share it with my friends who want me to do online dating.


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment, Chandryclaire. As with any love connection, the odds are stacked against you. Online or in person: if you can find a real love, never take it for granted.

I like where I'm at now: enjoying my life as a single mother, taking each day as it comes, and not obsessing about finding someone. But doing the online dating routine was a drain and waste of my precious time (with very little to show for it). I've got my plate full, so I don't need added static. For sure, I don't need the men pursuing me for a physical need-- sheesh!

So glad you shared your thoughts-- good luck with your search.


Mellonyy profile image

Mellonyy 4 years ago

Excellent dating tips!Thumbs up!


ShakingMyHead 4 years ago

Looking at a couple articles, and your front page... I think this site would be a good argument as to why there should be a three-day wait list for personal web-sites. Everyone should go through a psychological evaluation before they are given the opportunity to interject their narrow-minded critical judgments on the World. Fortunately "Wonderful1" only represents an extremely tiny percentage of SoCal. Who would actually call themselves "Wonderful1"? LOL

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