Divorcelebration: Women and Divorce

To divorce means closing a chapter in your life, and often a time that we reflect on past hurt and mistakes. Take those reflections, and turn it into something positive.
To divorce means closing a chapter in your life, and often a time that we reflect on past hurt and mistakes. Take those reflections, and turn it into something positive.

Divorce

Di • vorce- A judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, especially one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations.

Celebration

Cel • e • bra • tion - An act of celebrating.

Divorcelebration

Di • vorce • el • e •bra • tion - An act of celebrating a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage.

Women and Divorce

Divorce is a difficult time for both parties regardless of who initiated the process. It is the closing of a chapter in your life, and often a time that we reflect on past hurt and mistakes. Some newly divorced women will go through portions of the grieving process such as denial, guilt, anger, reflection or depression, and then acceptance. How you deal with your new-found status as a divorced woman is important to your healing, and can help you open new doors after this one has closed.

Dating after divorce is like waking to a new day.
Dating after divorce is like waking to a new day.

As with any trial in life, you should never push yourself to do anything you're not ready for. You know yourself better than anyone else, and only you can determine when you're ready to move on after your divorce.

When you are ready, you can take the word divorce and add celebration to the end, and that is when you begin your divorcelebration! Do the things you've always wanted, experience life in a new way, be your own person, and show off your singleam. You're now divorced, not dead, so get out there and live your life

Around the House

Remember the days before you were married when you ran around the house in your favorite sweats, no make up or bra, and your favorite CD cranked up? Well those days are back, but now you're decorating with only yourself in mind! Make or buy a CD of upbeat and inspirational music, throw your hair up in a pony tail, and get to work on kicking bad memories to the curb.

  • Take down any pictures of you and your ex.
  • Rearrange your furniture, or if you're able, buy new furniture all together.
  • Clean out his side of the closet, after you've gone shopping so you have more to fill his old space.
  • Use his mancave, garage, den, etc., and make it into a personal exercise or yoga room.

Self Improvements

I speak from experience when I say that sometimes when women get married they tend to get stuck in the same old routine with their looks. They figure that's what attracted their husbands to begin with so why change it. During divorcelebration it's okay to try new things and to be different. After all, if you don't personally like it, you can always change it, but it won't be due to coming home to a shocked expression on a husband's face. Be bold, be brave, and take a singleap.

  • Take a make up class that teaches exotic techniques.
  • Get a hairstyle that you've always wanted to try.
  • Try a new color, make sure it isn't permanent until you know it's what you want.
  • Set a goal for yourself, and start exercising.
  • Invite the girls over and have a spa party complete with manis, pedis, facials, and wine of course.

Exercise

Exercise is always good for you, but even more so when you are struggling with the emotions of life during or after a divorce. It is a great way to relieve tension, anger, and can also help with divorce depression. You don't have to turn into a full fledged exercise machine, but a few simple changes will help tremendously. Not to mention, the heads you'll turn will be a great boost of confidence for when you're ready to move on after all divorce issues are settled.

  • Walk for 20 minutes a day 3-5 days a week.
  • Take up a yoga class.
  • Get a gym membership.
  • Start a neighborhood exercise group, or even post an ad for a single women's exercise group.

Find an Outlet For Your Emotions

Regardless of when you begin your divorcelebration, or how you go about it, don't neglect what you're still feeling inside. Divorce depression is common, and is part of the grieving process. It's impossible to immediately put all feelings of hurt, worry or regret aside simply because you're involved in new activities or trying new things. Surround yourself with support, and find a way to get your feelings and thoughts out in times when you're feeling down.

  • Join a support group for divorced women.
  • Write a blog.
  • Post in forums of other people dealing with the same feelings.
  • Talk to a therapist.
  • Post on HubPages.

Dating After a Divorce

I saved this one for last because personally, it was the hardest step for me. Your divorce could have been finalized years ago, and some may still feel guilt as if they're being unfaithful. This is the part of the divorce process that you should never rush yourself into until you're ready, or it could end disastrously. Meeting new people after divorce comes easier to some than it does to others, so you should always trust your own feelings. In all probability someone will be emotionally hurt if you allow for a rebound relationship to occur. With that being said, it's best that you begin dating after divorce when you know you're ready.

  • Try speed dating
  • Let friends and family set you up with a blind date
  • Go to a singles night with friends
  • Try trusted online dating sites

As I mentioned in the beginning of this hub, you know yourself better than anyone else ever will. You know when you are hurt, happy, ready, or feeling depressed, and you should trust your gut instinct. Divorce doesn't have to be a long drawn out fight, and once the ink is dry, you shouldn't be left wondering where to go from there. Divorced women shouldn't feel as though they have to immediately move on or meet new people. Take time to find yourself again, and what it's like to be a single, independent and strong woman.

Have fun with your divorcelebration, and enjoy your new life.

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Comments 9 comments

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

and we thank "Mom & Dad"....everyday!


Loco Life profile image

Loco Life 5 years ago Author

Oh I'm sure there is. I've also seen some pretty unbelievable divorces, and it makes me all that much more thankful. I agree women are strong creatures, and I'm glad I was raised to only strive to be stronger.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Loco Life....There are MANY stories so painful and insane, I would not be able to believe a word, had I not known first hand....People are built to handle incredible hurdles.....especially W O M E N...Amen


Loco Life profile image

Loco Life 5 years ago Author

Yes, it sure does. I'm right there with you, and am very thankful that I have not had to experience or go through half the horror stories I've heard that are associated with divorce.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Sound like maybe I've been there, does it???


Loco Life profile image

Loco Life 5 years ago Author

Thank you so much for your insight and kind words. You're right, divorce is a sad and stressful time, and the outcome can be devestating if our emotions are left unattended. I love "focus on today, and be gentle with the future," it explains the overall handling of divorce perfectly.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Loco Life...Serious and sensible tips for any newly-divorced woman. It is a sad and stressful time in our life that left in disrepair can wreak havoc for far too long. I applaud your courage and the generosity of sharing your own experiences. The healthiest attitude in most cases is to focus on today & be gentle with the future.....looking back only to reaffirm your decisions. Voted up, useful & interesting. Keep WRITING!


Loco Life profile image

Loco Life 5 years ago Author

Thank you very much. The idea came whenever my husband and I decided to divorce. Friends wanted to throw me a "divorce party," and in the beginning it bothered me. After talking to my parents, I saw that they were only trying to help, and it is what actually helped me to come out of my depression over the fact.

Again, thank you for the comment!


Fellow Mumbaite profile image

Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

I just love this concept "divorcelebration"! Very interesting. I like all your tips which can help one to get over the painful time she just went through. And finally its a great way to celebrate your freedom that you got back. Voted up!

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