Ways to Know That You Are Insecure

Do YOU have to WEAR Shades . . .

during social events to hide your insecurity?
during social events to hide your insecurity?

Can YOU Spot the Suttle Insecurities of These People?

Shades and coats thrown over the shoulder do not help your insecurity, men.
Shades and coats thrown over the shoulder do not help your insecurity, men.
Even tabbies can feel the pains of insecurity.
Even tabbies can feel the pains of insecurity.
Insecurity can lead people to fear climbing stairs.
Insecurity can lead people to fear climbing stairs.
Girl hides in the dark wilderness. A sign of her being insecure.
Girl hides in the dark wilderness. A sign of her being insecure.
Hand-cat-fishing can make anyone, even the strongest man insecure.
Hand-cat-fishing can make anyone, even the strongest man insecure.
Both the man and the girl are insecure and intimidated by someone. Or something.
Both the man and the girl are insecure and intimidated by someone. Or something.
This guy has no ambition. And he is a likely-victim for insecurity.
This guy has no ambition. And he is a likely-victim for insecurity.
Working instead of meeting new people. A sure sign that you are shy and insecure.
Working instead of meeting new people. A sure sign that you are shy and insecure.
Shannon Eastin is a female line judge in the NFL. She is NOT insecure, intimidated AT ALL!
Shannon Eastin is a female line judge in the NFL. She is NOT insecure, intimidated AT ALL!
A pretty picture CAN make one insecure by presenting too many things happening at once.
A pretty picture CAN make one insecure by presenting too many things happening at once.

Briefly

insecurity to me, is comparable to a deadly-disease. No, it's not the lethal kind that requires the victims to take powerful injections, but in many ways, being insecure about yourself can lead to some personality problems if not checked.

I know. I've dealt with insecurity, intimidation, and not being mental tough over the course of my life, and I can tell you just a few of the things that these "ailments," have done to me.

With your permission.

  1. Caused me to be so scared to ask "THE" girl I feel in-love with for one date, that I cowered in the dark in my room and shook with fear. This, my friends, is NO JOKE.
  2. Caused me to NOT participate in any of my high school activites--sports, proms, dances, and other recreational events.
  3. Caused me to lose (when I was brave enough to date) a few pretty girls who got out of my car not knowing what was wrong with me?
  4. Made me feel less of a person.
  5. Damaged my self-esteem and confidence when I took my mid-term and final exams in high school to such a degree that I was nauseated for one solid week and ate NO food at all. My parents thought that I was having a nervous breakdown. I might have had one. I was never taken to the right type of doctor.
  6. Destroyed my social life. Wait. I didn't have a social life to destroy.

These are six things. Just six, mind you, that being insecure robbed from me. And the funny thing, in 1967 through 1972, psychiatrists didn't have a label for this sociological problem. Some in this field just said "we" were "shy" and inattentive. Yeah, that works. Saves you the trouble of doing research to help people who are insecure like me and countless millions.

In the past years, I "have" found a way to deal with my insecurity and being intimidated when I am forced to attend a social event abeit safe and people are there who are nice, I still get that "boxed in" feeling when I am in a crowd and cannot get my breath. I use my sense of humor (whenever applicable), to cope with people who know how they affect me and those like me, and do it anyway.

My "system" if you will, is to sit alone in front of my PC and write lists. Good, solid, trusted lists of . . ."Ways to Know if YOU Are Insecure . . ."

1. When you are at a party . . .

just listening to the group you are with talk about their latest quests, and "you," start to say, "well, I cannot compete with those accomplishments, for in my life . . .

a known "Know-it-All," "Wind bag," overhears you and says . . ."talk about a good life. I have a good life, folks. Just got a $400-dollar a week raise on top of my already humongous weekly paycheck. The wife just got a big promotion and that, you guessed it, came with another humongous raise. I tell you. I don't know what "I" did, but someone "up there," like me!" And then this "individual" bursts into a cannon-like laugh that would shatter the windows on the 70th floor of the Empire State Building.


2. When you are at your office . . .

just working like crazy to get things done for your company, and someone asks, "Jim, how do you work that quickly on your new PC?" You stop and say, "Clark, it's not a biggie. All I do is . . .

then another co-worker who isn't a "Know-it-All," or "Wind bag," says. . ."Jim is too modest, Clark. I am using the same software he is using, but pardon me for saying it, Jim, but you are a tad too slow on the "printing sequence," look at my keyboard. I hit the "control" key first, and then I hit the "little 'printie wintie' button," and swoosh! Off my finished document goes to the front office for, I guess, another commendation for "Fastest Computer Operator in The Office."

3. When you and your wife and kids are visiting your neighbors . . .

and the neighbors just ask "you," how "Billy" and "Suzie" are doing in school, and you start to reply, "thanks for asking, Carol. Now "Billy" and "Suzie". . .

"Carol's" husband just has to interrupt and say . . ."aww, "Billy" and "Suzie" are in "Easy Class For Slow Learners," "Carol," they cannot do anything but do good, but take our kids, "Sal" and "Thad," they skipped two whole grades and their physics teacher told me that even this physics work was not even a challenge for "our" two geniuses."

4. Remember that awful day in fifth grade . . .

when your teacher, "Mrs. Slocum," called you to the board to work, what you thought, was an easy math problem. And you wrote it out, diagrammed it like a math wizard and stood there with your chest puffed-up with pride and . . .

"Elonzo Chadwick," the class "slacker," who was actually awake when you did your best math work on the board, speaks up and says, "Ayyye, Jimmy! Ya' got the third extension of the base number count wrong by two digits." You freeze with humiliation. Sweat pops out on your face. "Mrs. Slocum," hates to, but agrees with "Elonzo," and makes you correct the innocent-error and go back to "Elonzo," and thank him for catching your mistake.

5. When you and your so-called pal, "William Nixon" . . .

were talking to one girl, "Sally Anne Swindle," and "you," were "making time" like an old pro playboy. Until "that" terrible event happened . . .

as your "pal," "William," seemingly had to blurt out, "this Jimmy guy. He's okay. But when you are alone with him, and things kinda get "outta hand, if you know what I mean," I can tell you first-hand, that "his equipment," isn't fully-reached it's full growth yet, so don't expect nuttin," and walks away leaving you red-faced with "Sally Anne Swindle," covering her mouth as she giggles, but that isn't really hurt you the most. "Sally Anne Swindle," is the "school gossip," and you know already what tomorrow and the days that follow will be like.

6. When you are asked to be a guest speaker at "Employee Appreciation Day" . . .

and you are standing in front of a room full of coworkers and their families and you look so sharp and confident in your new suit. You have studied your speech backward, forwards until you can quote it in your sleep. You glance at your first "talking point," "Honored guests, let me begin by quoting what the Great Apostle Paul said when his followers were showing their appreciation. He said, "For God so loved the world, that God gave His only begotten son . . .

a voice from way back in the room shatters the moment and bellows, "hey, buddy! That wasn't Paul, that was John! What kind of Christian are you anyway?" Well needless to say, the roomful of coworkers with their families laugh until they cry at "YOU," standing behind the crystal podium and there isn't one thing you can do about it, but endure it. No use worrying now about being insecure. You haven't a bit of security left. Much less self-esteem.

That is when you decide to to the humble thing and give your "talking points," to your boss who is sitting at the front table near the podium, but before you leave the podium, you remark, "folks, please. I am have a grave error. I get it. I was totally-wrong with my Bible-reference, so I will now give my materials to a better-qualified man, our boss and CEO, "Mr. Stan L. Tice," and as soon as you step away from the podium, your shoe catches on a tear in the carpet and you fall into his arms scattering the "talking points" on the floor and into the air.

This is what people call "hitting rock bottom."



This Pretty Girl says it all . . .

"I'm SCARED, INTIMIDATED, and MEEK." "I am a miserable person."
"I'm SCARED, INTIMIDATED, and MEEK." "I am a miserable person."

More by this Author


Comments 22 comments

bac2basics profile image

bac2basics 4 years ago from Spain

Hi Kenneth. No one likes a wind bag and know it all..Most of us feel insecure at times, it make´s us more human. Best thing to do is put on a big smile and tough it out. When feeling so nervous about something that you feel your legs turn to jelly, and feel sure they wont carry you without being forced..try floating instead..just imagine you are floating on air..and float yourself into the room..or situation you are fearing. This piece of advice comes from what I refer to as my " Bible" and was written a long long time ago by a certain Dr Claire Weekes. She has written a lot of self help books for nerves. They are in rather an old fashioned style by today's standards, but I don´t mind that as it´s like visiting the family doctor from my childhood, and she gives really really good explanations and advice. :) Loved some of the photo´s you used on this hub, and let´s put it this way, I really wouldn´t like to be on the wrong side of Shannon Eastin..or in the water with that monster fish either..Hell no !!


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Maybe this how I feel. When meeting new people I either shut down or go overboard about anything beginning talk about.

Voted up and awesome, Joyce.


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

These are some drastic examples and humorous photos. I guess this would be disabling if a person was insecure to the extent depicted here.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I think most of us are insecure to some degree. I read a quote many years ago that stuck with me: "Stop worrying what that person is thinking about you and start thinking about what you think of them." I, like most of us, always wanted anyone new I met to like me. As I got older, I did care less about this and when I read that quote, it really made me think. I'm still nice when I meet people, but if they don't seem to like me, I don't care. A friend of mine gave me probably the best advice...he said, "Do your best and then the hell with it."


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Ironically, just after I read this, I read Julie DeNeen's new hub about mental health and noticed another hub written by her: How to Deal With Low Self Esteem. Give it a read!


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

I think most of us have some of these insecurities, but as always you give a unique and enjoyable perspective!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and funny. Although insecurities are not meant to be funny they can put us in odd situations. I desperately hate unpleasantness of any kind and anything that looks like trouble brewing I run away from. Guess that's sort of like an insecurity of mine however it does keep me out of trouble. lol


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, dear bac2basics,

I agree with you. Nerves CAN play a big role in whether "I" am comfortable at first-meeting. I can pretty much tell how the new person feels toward me by their eyes . . .sometimes eyes can show disgust at having to meet me in social situations, or sometimes the eyes just look at the floor the the mouth never opens only to relieve a sigh of boredom from the body.

Im 58 right now. And I knew these four guys and two girls in my high school class that made a high school student's life misrable: MINE. God bless them, they are still drawing breath.

I have never figured out WHY they did this. Just enjoyed watching someone else suffer.

Hello, this is Karma. I am still around.

Kenneth

PS: nice to see you, Karma. Come in and take a load off.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

I am the same way, or use d to be, writer20. Not anymore. Either like me, hate me, or ignore me, but do not expect me to shine your shoes with my lips.

We are all mortal. Even the Tom Brady's of this world who cannot make a mistake to save their life.

Kenneth

PS Maybe if I kept my lips tight and never said but three words at a time. That migh work.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Curiad . . .LOL, you are right, my friend. This WOULD be bad. That never occurred to me, and I thank you for your wise comment.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, catgypsy,

Thanks, dear friend, for your kind comments that held a gem of a wise thing I am adding to Curiad's comment. To start thinking of them, not what they think of me, and get it placed in my mind that NO ONE CAN BE PUT IN SUCH A BAD PLACE AS THE PEOPLE IN THIS HUB. Thanks to you both.

KENNETH

And PS: WILL look into Julie's hub. I am sure it wont hurt me.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, picklesandrufus:

Thanks for your sweet comment. I do appreciate it and I am so glad that you like this. I.O. U Big Time.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

and YES, that too applies to me, Gypsy Rose Lee, the getting away when trouble is in the air, for I hate confusion; yelling; drama games; childish snears and such. I have too much to do without being near such trouble.

Thanks,

KENNETH


sassydee profile image

sassydee 4 years ago from los angeles, ca

voted up and useful this is a good hub thanks for sharing kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Those know it all wind bags are the really insecure ones as far as I am concerned.

Voted up and awesome

Take care :)


midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

Well, I think the ones who tell us things to cut us down on purpose are really the insecure ones. Glad that you've gotten over it!!


Kimshygirl 4 years ago

How are you today?.

My name is Kim Harrison,Good to know you.as it is my great

pleasure to get in contact with you,i will also like to know you the more if you wish,communicate me to through my Email lets exchange pictures. Email. kimbelyharrison2012@yahoo.com

Kim Cleng Harrison.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sassydee . . .first of all, have a safe and happy Labor Day and secondly, Thank YOU for your kind remarks. I appreciate it very much.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan,

Happy Labor Day and Thank YOU for your sweet and insightful comments. And I couldn't agree more. Insecurity, like love, comes in many forms. I just have to know the difference.

Thanks too, for your votes and MOST OF ALL, Your Sweet Friendship.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Kim, and thanks for your kind comment. I am afraid that MY photos are NOT anything that YOU would love to have.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Midget38,

Thanks for your kind words and support. Have I gotten over my insecurities? No. No one ever does. They only learn to live with them.


Debra Emerson 4 years ago

Very interesting and very useful. Voted up.

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