Ways to Know That You Are Insecure
Do YOU have to WEAR Shades . . .
Can YOU Spot the Suttle Insecurities of These People?
insecurity to me, is comparable to a deadly-disease. No, it's not the lethal kind that requires the victims to take powerful injections, but in many ways, being insecure about yourself can lead to some personality problems if not checked.
I know. I've dealt with insecurity, intimidation, and not being mental tough over the course of my life, and I can tell you just a few of the things that these "ailments," have done to me.
With your permission.
- Caused me to be so scared to ask "THE" girl I feel in-love with for one date, that I cowered in the dark in my room and shook with fear. This, my friends, is NO JOKE.
- Caused me to NOT participate in any of my high school activites--sports, proms, dances, and other recreational events.
- Caused me to lose (when I was brave enough to date) a few pretty girls who got out of my car not knowing what was wrong with me?
- Made me feel less of a person.
- Damaged my self-esteem and confidence when I took my mid-term and final exams in high school to such a degree that I was nauseated for one solid week and ate NO food at all. My parents thought that I was having a nervous breakdown. I might have had one. I was never taken to the right type of doctor.
- Destroyed my social life. Wait. I didn't have a social life to destroy.
These are six things. Just six, mind you, that being insecure robbed from me. And the funny thing, in 1967 through 1972, psychiatrists didn't have a label for this sociological problem. Some in this field just said "we" were "shy" and inattentive. Yeah, that works. Saves you the trouble of doing research to help people who are insecure like me and countless millions.
In the past years, I "have" found a way to deal with my insecurity and being intimidated when I am forced to attend a social event abeit safe and people are there who are nice, I still get that "boxed in" feeling when I am in a crowd and cannot get my breath. I use my sense of humor (whenever applicable), to cope with people who know how they affect me and those like me, and do it anyway.
My "system" if you will, is to sit alone in front of my PC and write lists. Good, solid, trusted lists of . . ."Ways to Know if YOU Are Insecure . . ."
1. When you are at a party . . .
just listening to the group you are with talk about their latest quests, and "you," start to say, "well, I cannot compete with those accomplishments, for in my life . . .
a known "Know-it-All," "Wind bag," overhears you and says . . ."talk about a good life. I have a good life, folks. Just got a $400-dollar a week raise on top of my already humongous weekly paycheck. The wife just got a big promotion and that, you guessed it, came with another humongous raise. I tell you. I don't know what "I" did, but someone "up there," like me!" And then this "individual" bursts into a cannon-like laugh that would shatter the windows on the 70th floor of the Empire State Building.
2. When you are at your office . . .
just working like crazy to get things done for your company, and someone asks, "Jim, how do you work that quickly on your new PC?" You stop and say, "Clark, it's not a biggie. All I do is . . .
then another co-worker who isn't a "Know-it-All," or "Wind bag," says. . ."Jim is too modest, Clark. I am using the same software he is using, but pardon me for saying it, Jim, but you are a tad too slow on the "printing sequence," look at my keyboard. I hit the "control" key first, and then I hit the "little 'printie wintie' button," and swoosh! Off my finished document goes to the front office for, I guess, another commendation for "Fastest Computer Operator in The Office."
3. When you and your wife and kids are visiting your neighbors . . .
and the neighbors just ask "you," how "Billy" and "Suzie" are doing in school, and you start to reply, "thanks for asking, Carol. Now "Billy" and "Suzie". . .
"Carol's" husband just has to interrupt and say . . ."aww, "Billy" and "Suzie" are in "Easy Class For Slow Learners," "Carol," they cannot do anything but do good, but take our kids, "Sal" and "Thad," they skipped two whole grades and their physics teacher told me that even this physics work was not even a challenge for "our" two geniuses."
4. Remember that awful day in fifth grade . . .
when your teacher, "Mrs. Slocum," called you to the board to work, what you thought, was an easy math problem. And you wrote it out, diagrammed it like a math wizard and stood there with your chest puffed-up with pride and . . .
"Elonzo Chadwick," the class "slacker," who was actually awake when you did your best math work on the board, speaks up and says, "Ayyye, Jimmy! Ya' got the third extension of the base number count wrong by two digits." You freeze with humiliation. Sweat pops out on your face. "Mrs. Slocum," hates to, but agrees with "Elonzo," and makes you correct the innocent-error and go back to "Elonzo," and thank him for catching your mistake.
5. When you and your so-called pal, "William Nixon" . . .
were talking to one girl, "Sally Anne Swindle," and "you," were "making time" like an old pro playboy. Until "that" terrible event happened . . .
as your "pal," "William," seemingly had to blurt out, "this Jimmy guy. He's okay. But when you are alone with him, and things kinda get "outta hand, if you know what I mean," I can tell you first-hand, that "his equipment," isn't fully-reached it's full growth yet, so don't expect nuttin," and walks away leaving you red-faced with "Sally Anne Swindle," covering her mouth as she giggles, but that isn't really hurt you the most. "Sally Anne Swindle," is the "school gossip," and you know already what tomorrow and the days that follow will be like.
6. When you are asked to be a guest speaker at "Employee Appreciation Day" . . .
and you are standing in front of a room full of coworkers and their families and you look so sharp and confident in your new suit. You have studied your speech backward, forwards until you can quote it in your sleep. You glance at your first "talking point," "Honored guests, let me begin by quoting what the Great Apostle Paul said when his followers were showing their appreciation. He said, "For God so loved the world, that God gave His only begotten son . . .
a voice from way back in the room shatters the moment and bellows, "hey, buddy! That wasn't Paul, that was John! What kind of Christian are you anyway?" Well needless to say, the roomful of coworkers with their families laugh until they cry at "YOU," standing behind the crystal podium and there isn't one thing you can do about it, but endure it. No use worrying now about being insecure. You haven't a bit of security left. Much less self-esteem.
That is when you decide to to the humble thing and give your "talking points," to your boss who is sitting at the front table near the podium, but before you leave the podium, you remark, "folks, please. I am have a grave error. I get it. I was totally-wrong with my Bible-reference, so I will now give my materials to a better-qualified man, our boss and CEO, "Mr. Stan L. Tice," and as soon as you step away from the podium, your shoe catches on a tear in the carpet and you fall into his arms scattering the "talking points" on the floor and into the air.
This is what people call "hitting rock bottom."
This Pretty Girl says it all . . .
More by this Author
(Just) talking about meddlers and busy bodies is not enough. It is time I did something about them.
Just because a guy kisses a girl without her slapping him does not mean that he knows everything about the art of kissing to make girls happy.
At Christmas, how we open our gifts can say a lot about us.